Ask Pleasant Plains

Dear J. Redd, et. al.

Roundwounds. I like the prroiiing sound you get, and even though flats sound great with James Jamerson playing them, I feel it'd be a little smug of me to employ them.

I also use my fingers mostly and stay away from pedals, although I'd kill for a Cliff Burton-era Morley fuzz-wah.

My pleasure in answering,
P. Plains

m. plains,

what names did you consider for your offspring besides "beeps"?

m. proof,

Bridget was up there. She acts like a Bridget sometimes. Frances was a good possibility, a vote for my deceased maternal grandmother and Ms. Farmer.

My vote was actually for Shaniqua Baker.

Dear Mr. Plains,

Do any photos exist of you smiling?

cheers,

Dearest Rock Hardy,

This is a photo of me smiling, from my company's online directory:

http://img337.imageshack.us/img337/811/tbakerrw0.jpg

I look like Maury fucking Povich when I do that.

wps,

P. Plains

Dear Mr. Plains,

I am that smug person who irritates you, aren't I? Tell it like it is, I won't mind.

Happy Holidays to you and yours,

Dr. C

Dear Dr. C,

It's completely irrational and unfair, but yeah. I still think you're doing the myspace timer thing while you claim your wife is taking the picture. I have absolutely no evidence to corroborate this.

It's nothing personal. Ever been drunk in a bar (or pub) and just looked for a face to hate? It's as petty as that.

You also got all riled up on the aspie thread. And you were involved in all that luna silliness. Still, maybe I should apologize for my sub-Buttez scorn.

Maybe you should try smiling, too.

http://cartoonvillains.8m.com/images/maleimages/trevor_sm.jpg

hi dere,
P. Plains

mystery solved

PP - what is the Luna silliness? I truly have no idea.

Likewise - the 'myspace timer thing' ???

Whatever. It's your problem.

No harm, no foul.

Oh and from that other thread - you'd like to punch me in the face, it seems. If you feel that strongly about it, I'm sure something could be arranged.

I wouldn't recommend it though.

Whose problem is it, exactly?

No - hang on PP. This 'Luna' thing - pls explain and show how I 'was involved'.

Dear Pleasant Plains,

Have you learned how to ignore posters in certain threads? Do you have any advice or techniques for doing so?

When Internet Hardmen Attack: tonight on Bravo.

Tell it like it is, I won't mind.

Oh, it sounds like you do!

http://www.listal.com/image/products/220/0704349612/books/whats-your-problem-livewire-s.jpg

http://www.merchdirect.net/x/detail_image.php?imageid=17605

http://www.collider.com/uploads/imageGallery/Twisted_Terror_Collection/dr_giggles_dvd.jpg

http://blog.aggeman.se/butthurts.jpg

http://www.joyceimages.com/images/CDV%20Donnybrook%20Fair.JPG

Oh, it sounds like you do!

Well I mind this Luna bizness, that's all. Because I don't know what you're talking about. The picture made me laugh though.

Dr. C was a superstar on this thread

also dr c has that zomg thread abt his coworker beryl what talks funny

Yeah, the canteen lady with the set routine that she varies ever so slightly once in a blue moon.

PP - apols at over-reaction. Check yr email too.

mr PP (and also sunny),

how much of a nightmare was it to get your lovely aussie wife her US residency? and how long did it take?

xrr

ms RR,

It was a bitch. The hard parts came mostly on the Aussie side and dealing with the US consulate. Filling out forms, having to meet appointments, dealing with the fact that they refuse to answer the phone. However, getting the fiancé visa avoids a lot of the scrutinizing that comes when you just leave the country and get married.

Then, once we were all married and everything, we had to work on getting ss a green card and social-security card so she could legally work. That took six months and several trips over to Memphis since that was the nearest Homeland Security office.

(I liked that office in Memphis. You know how gov't offices have those framed portraits of the president? (be sure to look for them at LAX customs if you come that way.) The only administration official they had framed was Colin Powell, and he wasn't even the Sec. of State anymore by then.)

It's also expensive. The last renewel for her green card was over $500. I have no idea how people who are poor and can't speak English manage to do this.

It's frustrating, but as long as you expect it to be frustrating, you'll do okay.

thanks mr PP!

She just got her new card today. Expires in 2017!

Were it not for my grandmother living there, we could avoid Memphis for the next decade.

Dear PP,
1) Did you ever have a job, summer or other at Dillard's?
2) Did you watch the (baseball) Razorbacks lose to the Tigers on Easter Sunday?

Regards,
JR & teh Bs

Dear JR

1.) I've never worked for Dillard's, Alltel, or Tyson. I did work for American Studios, the portrait place inside Wal*Mart, but they are independent of Wally World. I've got friends over at Dillard's corporate though.

2.) I'm not a huge fan of college baseball. All the good players are already in the pro's, and I can't stand the sound of a baseball hitting an aluminum bat. I did eat ham on Easter, so there's my Hogs contribution.

wps,
P. Plains

Thanks for your prompt response. Just to clarify, no Chips Moman at that particular American Studios?

Dear Pleasant Plains,

What foodstuff or recipe or what have you does Arkansas possess which outsiders will never understand, but which you take pride in?

Yers
Ned

Dear Ned Raggett,

It is amazing what my people can do with cheese, corn flakes, and peanut butter.

But what we can really do is take a box of this:
http://growabrain.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/11/04/velveeta_cheese.jpg
Microwave it in a bowl until it has reached a fluid state, and then eat by dipping Tostitos in it.

We also make a mean corn fritter, and our barbecue is quite underrated. Next time you're in Carlisle, Ark., be sure to stop by Nick's, home of the neon comic sans.

hawtbtt,
P. Plains

Dear PP,
One more question, if it's not too much: have you ever been to either Conway, Arkansas or Delight, Arkansas?
Regards,
JR et al.

Dear JR,

I've been to Conway more times than I can count. It's where you get off the interstate to go to my hometown. Both of my younger siblings go to college there. It's only about thirty minutes away from where I'm sitting right now.

Never been to Delight. Never have met Mr. Campbell either.

Gentle on my mind,
P. Plains

Dear P.P.,
Do you really think Monster Cable will help your sound?
What is your beef with Johnny Rivers's soul patch?

Yours,
James R.

how much did they pay you for that E*TRADE commercial you're in?

You mean there really was film in that camera?

(I have no idea what you're talking about. Please post hilarious youtube.jpg here.)

Dear P.P.

We arrived in Seattle on Saturday, 7:45 p.m. Why am I still feeling so damn sluggish, even with 3-shot coffee dranks? Ugh. Lack of sun? Time zone weirdness? We've been sleeping alright.

Q #2: You holding down NLR alright?

Truly,
AiLien

Dear A.D.

Q#1 I'm always sluggish on my vacations. I really don't think that humans were supposed to be flung across continents in little metal tubes. Of course the coffee only makes you crash harder. I'd also keep away from the Seattle flavor of horse. It's notoriously known for its sluggish effects.

Q#2 It hasn't been easy holding down the NLR. The day you left, a big storm moved through and knocked a tree branch the size of ettiem onto our roof. I got it off by knocking it around with a broom handle like an oak pinata.

Hello,
P.P.

(I have no idea what you're talking about. Please post hilarious youtube.jpg here.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-4oqsS4wic

Dear PP,

Is this now thread of missing Golden Boot?

JR et al.

thought for sure that THE_REAL_SHAQ was gonna tweet about the outcome of that game but i guess he twatted about some stupid snow instead

http://www.politico.com/story/2014/11/arkansas-gov-mike-beebe-pardon-son-112857.html

What's up with this

Not much else to do as a lame-duck governor for two more months.

this one was even more o_O:

http://thecabin.net/news/state/2014-11-07/beebe-pardon-conway-sex-crime-offender#.VGTGBYdYeHk