you're not home for the holidays: irritating work shifts, enforced solitude, and furtive visits to bars that are still open this time of year

whaddup.

god, i am seriously very envious.

I am reading Capote and listening to that new Murder Ballads & Disaster Songs comp since no bosses are around.

I really wanted to take my bartendress home last night something awful. I know it's bad when I've devolved back to the "any girl who brings me a drink is hot" level

this is awesome

I slept in one of our rooms from 7:15am to 2:50pm and got the best sleep I've gotten in months.

The thick curtain blocking out all sunlight & the utter silence & the big bed helped I'm sure.

I like the way amazon has the tracklisting done up so the artists' names seem like part of the title

this is terrible to admit but last year on my santa shift I went in the server room and took a nap on my jacket

on the other hand they weren't even paying us shift differential or overtime for that crap so fuck that job

I have been known to sneak into the kitchen cage and steal warm soda and danishes when no one is around.

ie I'm gonna go do that right now.

It's me and a very dapper and preachy schizophrenic in this Starbucks, and a gaggle of girls.

I thought this guy was talking on his phone, he's rugged/dapper straight out of an Orvis catalog, and then he asks me to repeat after him "The moment I saw the green grass was Jesus."

That's a great line, man.

I don't know why I can never manage to write when I'm at work. The flip side of setting up a great workspace & "get-into-the-zone" routine is that when I'm not in said workspace I have a hard time doing anything creative.

jesus just gave me a man in a black jacket puking pathetically by himself at 7:15 pm while leaning on the wall. to make me feel better.

I'm all waiting for the atm to spit my money out thinking "why is someone behind me pouring a drink out on the ground only a little bit at a time?"

i've progressed to "spin in my chair cause i'm bored" levels guys

on the upside, i am not pouring a drink out a little bit at a time

my cat is singing along to the jim carroll band because you brought up basketball diaries

I'm all waiting for the atm to spit my money out thinking "why is someone behind me pouring a drink out on the ground only a little bit at a time?"

-- El Tomboto, Monday, December 24, 2007 4:24 PM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

For his dead homies.

pukin' for the homies

guys i just spent 10 minutes looking for a jpeg of alicia silverstone going "rollin with the homies" in clueless

that actually happened

pukin' for the homies

i.e., ethan's night out?!?

i laid out on a park bench at the dog park today and almost driften into slumber. with the sun on my face and the sound of city busses driving by it felt like chicago in the springtime. so not christmas.

drifteD

i have to get off the computer and pull records for this shitty party tonite. then drive to work and set up sound system for xmas eve service. and sound system for xmas morning brunch. i think i can get away w/ not going in tomorrow though.

asian cougar mentioned on cougar thread will be at party!

*hangs head in shame*

i am eating some pistachios

my microwave is kind of a sarcastic prick

I pushed the "POPCORN" button and when it was done it said "ENJOY YOUR MEAL"

popcorn is never, never a meal

it is like food that says fuck you, lazypants

Perfect soundtrack for existential Christmas Eve: "Baker Street" is on the radio right now.

yeah I think I'd appreciate the honesty of a microwave that called me a lazy asshole every other time I opened the door

I am finally getting out of here in like half an hour.

I think this will be the first time I've spent 24 consecutive hours in the workplace.

i just submitted billing that was due 10 days ago when i was in chicago.

in chicago, getting trained on how to do my job by various people including but not limited to the blowsy lady in the billing department.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand i am OUT, doggies.

mele kalikimaka, hoos

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2359/2134908170_2f76cf9cfc_o.jpg

ok i think i'm going to catch the last 15 minutes of the candlelight service before i get out of here because that shit is ingrained in me.

god bless us everyone and to all a good nite.

oh my god this sucks so bad

I have not anticipated getting home and going to bed this avidly in like years

I did indeed go to a bar for part of last night and met the fashion editor for the weekly paper here. She was pretty and also turned out to be the girlfriend of a guy I play poker with.

sympathy for xmas workers

ivy, hugs. I'm entering Mordor in about 30 mins, where I sit with gritted teeth wondering which relative will make the first innocuous remark about Israel, Hunter Biden, and political correctness.

I'm sipping a Cynar negroni and watching Wu-Tang videos before getting picked up.

just remember, you can always leave, and if you're worried that leaving will make you feel shit, ask yourself if you're already feeling shit anyway

since i started that memory ball rolling and haven't managed to shut it up yet:

it was more like "SO YOU'RE THE GUY FUCKING MY DAUGHTER, HAHA" immediate chest punch, awkward laughter, whispered excuses for the missing stair -- familyless holidays have been a vast improvement & i recommend them to anyone whose life might be happier that way, iow boxedjoy otm

Just coom an entire salmon or something. Really go wild

braggin 2023

brisk 9 holes on an almost deserted golf course done. now off to work. have a good one ilx.

Good morning!

ffs knew i wasn't getting away with that. oscar bravo has worked out how to live obv, ditto ivy, ditto soto (cynar is incredible stuff right, when i went to alsace earlier this year a local speciality was lager with a shot of it, total gamechanger)

good morning!

Had to cancel a road trip to my parents’ house because our beloved old cat is fading fast and we’re giving him fluid infusions every two days and basically can’t do the normal “have someone stop by to top up the food bowl.” (Plus just don’t want to leave the old guy alone.) I have to do some work today as well, but since I work from home at least I can do it in sweatpants with a seasonal cocktail.

I'm laying next to my husband, who stayed up all night again. We don't really celebrate Christmas, mostly because he has trauma about it, but I have been able to get him to cook a special ham dinner today.

https://i.imgur.com/XAKYB0A.gif

Woke up at 3 and couldn’t fall back asleep, so got out of bed at 5 to listen to music and try to relax. I don’t do well on holidays and birthdays, but it was nice to see the smile on my kid’s face when he opened his big gift, a graphics card.

I love birthdays! Celebrate me for a change. I don't mind the attention.

our dinner was amazing, I really channeled the Art Of Simple Food aesthetic.

cucumber/cherry tomato salad with evoo, apple cider vinegar, salt, pepper

mashed sweet potatos w/ butter, salt, pepper

thin sliced pork cooked in a sauce of caramelized onions, roma tomatos, salt, pepper, and paprika

tempranillo wine

they let my girlfriend out of the hospital day before yesterday so me and her and her other girlfriend went down to corvallis to watch the miyazaki film with my girlfriend's (found family) sister

movie theaters on christmas are like churches used to be, by which i mean that whenever you show up they complain loudly and at great length about how you never come round anymore, thereby making it that much less likely that anyone will bother to show up next time round. the whole thing has just started seeming completely desperate and unpleasant.

anyway then i came home and had my shot. happy shot day! or patchmas for those of you who celebrate. also, my heartfelt well wishes to those of you poor unfortunates out there celebrating spironukkah. i hope this is the year you finally get your geld.

Had to cancel a road trip to my parents’ house because our beloved old cat is fading fast and we’re giving him fluid infusions every two days and basically can’t do the normal “have someone stop by to top up the food bowl.” (Plus just don’t want to leave the old guy alone.) I have to do some work today as well, but since I work from home at least I can do it in sweatpants with a seasonal cocktail.

― a man often referred to in the news media as the Duke of Saxony (tipsy mothra), Monday, December 25, 2023 9:10 AM (twelve hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

ah man sorry about this, been there with the fluid infusions and it is not fun at all particularly given the time of year. hope cat isn't too uncomfortable and that you enjoy some quality time with him

hi cad, nice to see u

Thanks, yeah, we've created multiple comfortable spots for him around the house. He mostly lies on a heating pad (turned low) on an easy chair. He's sleeping right now on some crumpled up wrapping paper we haven't picked up yet. It's been a sweet Christmas with him, knowing it's almost certainly his last. Not that Christmas matters to him, but he does like the tree.

This day is dragging on. I can’t really deal with endless holiday jawboning

Wait, wrong thread I think, sorry

hi cad, nice to see u

― out-of-print LaserDisc edition (sleeve), Monday, December 25, 2023 9:57 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

hi sleeve! your christmas adventure sounds excellent, hope you are enjoying warm weather and relaxing vibes

I didn’t even know we had this thread until today

I'm working tomorrow, Thursday, and Friday. I wonder if someone in the call centre will have punched a monitor like they did last Boxing Day?

im working the three days also, at least one of which will be from the golf course

Rude

they pay me to think, ill think between shots

It was more wondering which day mar dhea a mhic

the other one

I've not posted in this thread for 10 years, but "not home for the holidays" has been the norm since that point, and I've stuck to staying home rather than going home again this year, despite some recent upheavals that have made things particularly tricky here. Hope things are ok for all who inhabit this thread.

i wish i were home for christmas. being around my family is harder than being alone

Hear that

my family is dead to me and has been for a few years. this holiday used to be harder when i had to come home and endure an emotionally abusive dynamic in the shadow of a cult religious organization. then it was hard because i had no family and seeing everyone else rally around theirs while i had none--while i had had to make the painful and difficult choice to leave them behind--was painful to endure and deeply alienating. now i have my own little family and i've done quite a bit of healing, so it's much less painful. i'm still not a big fan of this holiday, my emotional energy is low, and i'm looking forward to it being over. i still have to feel some anger and sadness this time of year it seems. and to have my inner reaction when i'm out of "fuck family!". like today i was on a run and there was a big gaggle of relatives on the trail all dressed up. i sneered as i passed. and i thought, you know what, that is a completely understandable response, based on everything i've been through. and the truth is, many families suck! oblivious sheep with wolves in the pack. so yeah, fuck family, because so often it asks that we look away and ignore the horrible stuff that happens in its binds. but also, family is something we just need sometimes. it makes it easier to get through. the support network, emotional and practical. besides all the mystical and sentimental horseshit it's kinda pragmatically necessary. i know there are people who go it alone but we all gotta have somebody.

i think something to keep in mind is that there are so many different kinds of relationships people have with family and family members. every weird, funny, grotesque, tragic, beautiful situation you can imagine. putting a rosy glow on it isn't necessary. i hope that anyone who is lacking someone or missing someone -- or missing not the actual person but what the person should have been for them -- is able to be there for themselves, to be a little bit of the loving presence they are missing for themselves. tell yourself that you love yourself, and make sure that you both mean it and believe it.

The fantasy is difficult to leave behind but I feel lighter without it. I’ve barely been maudlin at all this year. I did get a little salty when I kept seeing holiday cards without my friends/only pix of their kids but that is 100% my damage to deal with.
So yeah. I’m less “fuck family” and more “fuck family holidays” bc it feels better than blindly longing for a fantasy family that will never appear.

I made lamb pies and went for a walk and it’s basically just Thursday during winter break.

i think something to keep in mind is that there are so many different kinds of relationships people have with family and family members. every weird, funny, grotesque, tragic, beautiful situation you can imagine. putting a rosy glow on it isn't necessary. i hope that anyone who is lacking someone or missing someone -- or missing not the actual person but what the person should have been for them -- is able to be there for themselves, to be a little bit of the loving presence they are missing for themselves. tell yourself that you love yourself, and make sure that you both mean it and believe it.

― map, Thursday, December 25, 2025 5:16 PM (forty-two minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

map i think this is one of the best and wisest things you've ever posted. thank you for it

:) :) thank you! and you're welcome!

crazy atmospheric weather bands in Sacramento & surround forced us to turn back halfway to Christmas dinner up in the foothills (hail, lightning, gale winds & sideways rain aint how we wanted to drive into the mountains)

so we are postponing til Saturday - luckily all the food we were bringing was cold to be heated there so we can re-fridge it til then.

But RAGH! we had ZERO weather for a fucking month blanketed in tule fog & now we’ve had ALL the weather in 48 hours.

Is ragh ILXese for argh?

Otherwise, I will assume you are speaking either Manx or Klingon.

Maybe it's your own personal word. Wonder if you would mind others on this borad adopting it.

One small consolation for the ridiculous California weather is that my in-laws' wind chimes are going OFF

lol i’ll bet!!

Learning to accept relatives for who they are without mythologizing what they could've been is one of the hardest parts about aging but also when it happens one of the serenest.

Feel like I survived this round but now I can't sleep

map i think this is one of the best and wisest things you've ever posted. thank you for it

― ivy., Thursday, December 25, 2025 10:59 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

i just want to say thanks to ivy again, this made me feel really great yesterday.

i ended up having a weird dinner with my partner's friend m on christmas. they were chatting a few days ago and it turned out m was gonna be alone for christmas, so j. invited him to dinner. j and m have a years-long friendship and are quite close. i kinda became m's friend by default but we don't always get along and he's rubbed me the wrong way in the past. but i was like sure that's fine, i'm chiller than i used to be, it will be good to see him and catch up.

m. has this weird obsession with bringing up other countries in general terms, like he's obsessed with talking about china for some reason. it makes me pretty uncomfortable and i'm always trying to steer the conversation to other topics. but he always comes back to it. other countries, other ethnic groups, he always comes back to, talking about them like they're some single entity or subjectivity. it's honestly just racism - he's racist. just always stopping short of something really offensive, you know? testing boundaries, seeing if he's offending or getting approval or whatever. anyway, i kept things cool until he left, then slept on it. and this morning i told j that he isn't welcome in my home anymore, that i'm done hanging out with him. i told him i had nothing against them continuing to be friends and meeting for coffee or whatever, that i respect that friendship and don't see it tarnishing j in any way. i really have no ill will towards m - he has a lot of other great things going for him - i think he was just raised by insane mormon fascists and struggled to move away from that because of the hand he was dealt. but i'm so tired of cringing through extended conversations with him. last night really hit the nail on the head. it's funny how meditation has, in one sense, made me more chill in the moment when dealing with people, but it's also hardened me up when it comes to drawing lines around what i will and won't accept from others. i have a clearer sense of what is right for me and what brings light in.

\m/

That's really cool - good on you!

It's been an exceptionally warm holiday. One of my besties hosted his annual holiday party last night; there was at least one degree of separation b/w friends and the ones who barely knew anyone mixed well with the familiars. It's strange to have to say in 2025 that gay, straight, and trans friends mixed with my buddy's mom, godmother, and cousins.

❤️

Working today and the only other guy who was rostered on with me has, for the 3rd inexplicable time in like a year or 2, had his laptop die on him, when theres apparently no one in his (overseas remote) office to come fix it, or just authorise a fucking replacement.

I am choosing not to care, and just do the work I'm able to get done. I'm not paid enough to get worried he's not working and work's piling up.

I've had 2 laptops since 2019, and the only reason I even had the last one replaced is because it was EOL/couldnt run win11, but was otherwise fine. How do some people blow up computers so readily.