What's the least sexy phrase in the world?

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"Regional Variations"

― Graham, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Sorry, I'm rubbish at this, but.."

― N., Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"i know you won't be interested in this, but..." my boss starts everything she says to me with this phrase, and she's right. i never am interested.

― katie, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"It's one-thirty and now here's Ned Sherrin with Counterpoint, the popular musical quiz." Actually, just "now here's Ned Sherrin".

― Ellie, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

That's a very good call. Although I imagine some deranged anglophile would cream their pants over R4 continuity announcements.

― N., Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Even worse: "And now Midweek, with Libby Purves".

― RickyT, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Or 'And now, the antedote to panel games..'

― N., Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

A shit by itself is just a shit but put a shit on a plate and it looks like someone's going to eat it sometime soon.

― chris, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Graham: "Regional Variations"

And the most patronising phrase: [bright smile] "And now, the news where *you* are" [And now, the news for local people who can't be expected to understand the real issues. If you're lucky, there'll have been a small house fire or an explosion at the local chemical plant. Enjoy!]

― Ellie, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Even worse: "And now Midweek, with Libby Purves".

Yes.

Or 'And now, the antedote to panel games..' Nooooooooo...

― Ellie, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Sorry, 'antidote'.

Even if you like 'I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue' you surely can't find this introduction sexy?

― N., Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Damn you, N. No, the phrase isn't sexy. Nor is 'Clue', although (and I'm already regretting this) I've always had kind of a soft spot for JEremy Hardy.

― Ellie, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh me too. I know someone who can't stand him (partly cause of his smug simplistic attitude to Northern Ireland, as she sees it) but his 'Speaks to the Nation' lectures were brilliant, I thought. Is he on ISIHAC these days then? Do they still have that awful round where people like Tim Rice come up with 'hilarious' sub-ILE (ha!) puns on book and film titles?

― N., Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"It's just a rash."

― Daver, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"So which IL* poster(s) would you, you know..., if you could?"

― fritz, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Technically Beautiful"

― Evangeline, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

That stupid car advert. "Full fat. High Caffeine. Leather upholstery... still, at least it isn't fur" The whole advert is a turn off because of the sort of fucker who would fall for it. Like the people I used to work with. Cue flashbacks, fainting fits and vomit all over the floor.

― Madchen, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

My God! Madchen's back and she's mad as hell.

― N., Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I think the name of the Best in Show winner at Crufts this weekend qualifies: Standard Poodle Nord Ch Topscore Contradiction

or the winner from the Gundog award: Sh Ch Gayplume Dream Maker .

Will the Cr*fts Council magazine carry a full report of this magnificent event, mark s.?

― Edna Welthorpe, Mrs, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

GAYPLUME! Sorry, I just thought that was worth repeating.

― Madchen, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Gayplume = the gay pokemon?

― Alan Trewartha, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

madchen we get mentalists EVERY week ringing up and making that joke, except *they're* not joking

doubtless all present encounter the gravely nutso on a daily basis - lixi to thread! - but i think tere's a twin muthalode clustered round cr*fts, whatever letter you put in there

― mark s, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"gaping crotch sore" is not very sexy.

― Dan Perry, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh dear. I'm a mentalist expert. I think phrases that involves these words are the worst - 'ready reckoner', 'routeplanner', umican'tthinkofanymoresorry'. Good phrases normally involve the words 'winter gardens'

― alix, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I think "Regional Variations" could be quite rowr in the right context.

― Mitch Lastnamewithheld, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

N.[ Is he on ISIHAC these days then? Do they still have that awful round where people like Tim Rice come up with 'hilarious' sub-ILE (ha!) puns on book and film titles?

Yeah, JH does Clue occasionally now they're in that difficult having to replace Willy Rushton place. Connoisseurs larf that he sings even worse than Tim Brooke-Taylor, ha-ha. Not sure that Tim Rice isn't only on Just a Minute. And they do still have that round, and I like that round.]

Sorry everyone who's actually talking about non-erotic phrases (I think maybe 'you know, if you stop washing your hair, after six weeks or so it gets cleaned by its own natural oils' might be on my list).

― Ellie, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

wow is that hair thing true?

― ethan, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

They had Ph!l Jup!tuss on "I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue". The barbarians at thee gate brrrr.....

― Norman Phay, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

O, and answet to orig question - "presented by Ph!l Jup!tuss".

― Norman Phay, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

To follow on from Graham's original question, it must surely be "Westward Television" (OK historical but ...)

*Crafts* magazine doesn't strike me as particularly likely to cover *Crufts*, though the latter event is obviously judged by grotesque mentalists: how else can Pekingese continually do so well?

― Robin Carmody, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Just let me clear my sinuses first"

― electric sound of jim, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

How about: Oasis - Mad Fur it?????

― bnw, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You got that e-mail as well, then...

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

riding in a car with a creepy boy who was at his last wits trying to get on me... "i know this isn't the best question in the world..." (he should have stopped there) "don't you just...don't you just want to get freaky sometimes?" oh paul yes yes i do! lets hop in the backseat so you can nail me good! horny little bastard

― Lana, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

let me clear your sinuses first

― mark s, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

axis of evil/war on terrorism

― Queen G, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

'Axis of evil' could have sounded quite sexy before W ruined it. Dink. 'Unlimited Justice', too.

― Curt, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

hello gorgeous, can i suck on your axes of evil? hmmm

― Queen G, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"attention, otherkin."

― your null fame, Tuesday, 12 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ellie, I think I was mixing up my Tims.

― N., Tuesday, 12 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh my God, my wife's home!

― cleo, Wednesday, 13 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Hang on, I'm just emptying the litter tray"

― electric sound of jim, Wednesday, 13 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"It's this thing."

― rosemary, Friday, 15 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

two months pass...

Thread revival!

"It's a mysterious rash that has medical science baffled." (From Mad, about 20 years ago.)

― Christine "Green Leafy Dragon" Indigo, Sunday, 26 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"you look like you'd make a good housewife". someone actually tried to pick me up from my workplace with that line.

― di, Sunday, 26 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

There was a woman with whom I had a regular sexual relationship (there wasn't much more to it, really) who asked me if I'd like to meet her one Sunday - to go to a garden centre with her. Without being positively anti-sex, I can't think of much more unsexy than a garden centre.

― Martin Skidmore, Monday, 27 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

three months pass...

Oh Isnt it Cute!

― Caitlin, Sunday, 8 September 2002 07:25 (twenty-three years ago)

"Axis of evil" when used as a euphemism.

― Andrew (enneff), Sunday, 8 September 2002 08:07 (twenty-three years ago)

How about "And next on Channel 5 - erotic drama."

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 8 September 2002 09:13 (twenty-three years ago)

interpretive dance

― Queen G (Queeng), Sunday, 8 September 2002 12:32 (twenty-three years ago)

Willy warmer

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 8 September 2002 12:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Contacts magazine

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 8 September 2002 12:35 (twenty-three years ago)

"Farting dust." As in: "He's such a old geezer he farts dust."

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Sunday, 8 September 2002 12:36 (twenty-three years ago)

five years pass...

http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/images/homepage/2303_jewel_header.jpg

― Dom Passantino, Sunday, 30 March 2008 00:33 (seventeen years ago)

"Little boys' room"

― wanko ergo sum, Sunday, 30 March 2008 00:42 (seventeen years ago)

Anything said by Jeremy Vine.

― Ned Trifle II, Sunday, 30 March 2008 00:49 (seventeen years ago)

"My dad was lying, it feels nothing like seaweed"

― JTS, Sunday, 30 March 2008 01:29 (seventeen years ago)

what the hell is that jpg

― roxymuzak, Sunday, 30 March 2008 05:41 (seventeen years ago)

"Ich bin ein ILXor"

― Noodle Vague, Sunday, 30 March 2008 10:11 (seventeen years ago)

That picture is from the News Of The World, a newspaper that makes The Sun read like serialised extracts from Plato's "Republic". Current headline on their website is "F1 BOSS HAS SICK NAZI ORGY WITH 5 HOOKERS: Son of fascist Hitler lover in sex shame".

― snoball, Sunday, 30 March 2008 11:22 (seventeen years ago)

"Fair enough."

I realize it's never said with sexy intent, probably, but the least sexy guy I've ever met used this phrase constantly, almost as a tic, and I have a complete aversion to it now.

― Tricksey Spinster, Sunday, 30 March 2008 12:15 (seventeen years ago)

Anything said by Jeremy Vine.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

― Autumn Almanac, Monday, 31 March 2008 00:38 (seventeen years ago)

i say fair enough :(

― electricsound, Monday, 31 March 2008 00:52 (seventeen years ago)

"cougin' her moist jorts"

― HI DERE, Monday, 31 March 2008 01:23 (seventeen years ago)

I sensed that was en route.

― roxymuzak, Monday, 31 March 2008 13:11 (seventeen years ago)

hi ned

― ken c, Monday, 31 March 2008 13:21 (seventeen years ago)

HAW

― roxymuzak, Monday, 31 March 2008 13:40 (seventeen years ago)

# What's the least sexy phrase in the world? [Started by Graham, last updated Monday, March 31, 2008 3:40 PM] 14 new answers
# I am addicted to coca cola [Started by Ronan (Ronan), last updated Monday, March 31, 2008 3:40 PM] 11 new answers

― Øystein, Monday, 31 March 2008 13:48 (seventeen years ago)

"Hello, I'm Anne Widdecombe."

― chap, Monday, 31 March 2008 19:29 (seventeen years ago)

The existance of fetishism, masochism and other hole-and-corner forms of sexual excitement, I would have to go with a phrase so clinically sterile that it amounts to verbal anesthetic.

Something like: "substantial reapportionment among demographic cohorts".

― Aimless, Monday, 31 March 2008 19:37 (seventeen years ago)

ALL OF THEM

― Abbott, Monday, 31 March 2008 21:42 (seventeen years ago)

Abbott reveals herself as a doer, not a talker.

― Aimless, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 00:35 (seventeen years ago)

those cougs better have some hardwood floors under their jorts if they want to pounce on that tadpole like a jackal would tear into a zebra carcass.

-- jhøshea, Tuesday, November 27, 2007 12:47 PM (4 months ago) Bookmark Link

― gr8080, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 01:47 (seventeen years ago)

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