Big Brother Celebrity Hijack

Watched a bit of it through my fingers. It got too much. Is this a full-on months long BB?

no word on the length of the series but there are a full complement of contestants so i guess a few weeks at least?

The celebrities involved are all listed here

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Brother:_Celebrity_Hijack_(UK)

i won't copypaste so as not to be spoilering, but there are some v. interesting choices!

Google says 4 weeks

Hoorah, I forgot about it. I give it approx. two days before I am completely suckered in against my better judgment though.

because it's shorter they have gone out of their way to find "exceptional housemates" who were invited to interview rather than picked out from auditions. I guess this means people who are instantly "entertaining" instead of slow burners. Or maybe they had to vet them for crazy racism post-shilpa

The fact that some if not all of these people have genuinely successful careers ahead of them and could completely blow it as a result of appearing in this does add something to proceedings.

I felt a bit ill looking at the brother and sister circus act.

are you saying that being ordered to crawl, molest people and dance a jig by a cheeky comedy gay is a bad career move for the leader of the scottish youth political party

yeah the brother and sister act are extreme. a trick that makes your eyeballs bleed and your torso (permanently) lobsided??

Him and the singer songwriter girl who was all "I write classical scores, funky house, grime..." and for a second I thought she'd read the Joe Lean and the Jing Jang Jong thread and was just taking the piss.

(xpost)

There was a lot of "I started my business when I was 8/joined Mensa when I was 4/started playing violin when I was 3", it could get fun if they all start feeling threatened by each other's talent and exaggerate even more. I like crazy square cleaning lady though.

God that was a drag.

So if it's just "celebrities ask scottish bloke to do daft things" for 3 weeks, forget it.

no that was just lucas' idea, he's only controlling for one day

Oh right. I dunno, there may well be a lot of "keep me posted" about this. Somehow, I don't anticipate a lot of "watercooler moments" to use the old vernac.

Daily Star Front Page: Jade Back in Celeb Big Bro

Smaller print at bottom: Endemol faced calls to bring Jade Goody back after the show started last night etc...

(i.e. Jade not back in celeb big bro)

Dull so far. Liam is some type of alien.

Quote of the series: 'I can put my arse on my head'

sweet how matt lucas chose the scottish guy because he's the most likeable and the one he could see himself working with. imagine if it was that racing driver tosser doing all that, sneering his way through it.

businessman kid looks like a broken doll that's been left too close to an open fire.

wow this is some dull telly

http://media.canada.com/1785a528-bef3-4f04-af39-9312146bfd98/eddiekaythomas.jpg http://www.channel4.com/bigbrother/media/images/Channel4/bb_celeb_hijack/housemates/jeremy_profile_445.jpg

Yesterdays was better.

Ian Wright was the celeb. Cue lots of "man, dude, you're an inspiration" type asskissing, to Ian's obv discomfort.

Who's up next?

Alan Cumming. Oh joy.

lan Cumming
You've probably seen Scottish actor Alan on the silver screen in films such as X-Men and Goldeneye. He has also appeared in Eyes Wide Shut and Spice World.

My mistake. It's Lan Cumming.

Might skip this one tonight.

tonight it's Sharon Osbourne.

Interest unpiqued

<i>to Ian's obv discomfort</i>

huh? he LOVED it. cue tons of turgid wright-style inspirational/tough-love daddyfied "u can do it dont let no 1 say u cant" speeches.

I refuse to watch anything with Sharon Osbourne in it, so that's another one I'll be missing. I've only seen the Matt Lucas one so far, which was quite funny, admittedly.

DAMN!

Sorry guys, my bad typing: It's Kelly Osbourne. Me dubm. (I even saw her in the room, so it's not like I misread it)

I refuse to watch anything with SharonKelly Osbourne in it, so that's another one I'll be missing. I've only seen the Matt Lucas one so far, which was quite funny, admittedly.

fair enough.

I thought Russell Brand was taking over after Alan Cumming.

I suppose they had to explain to the housemates who Alan Cumming was?

But where to start?

Victor and Barry of course!

... did you get them in England?

Oh, I thought you meant "Get Victor and Barry into the diary room, tell them Alan Cummings is the celeb and get them to explain to the other hm's who he is"

Naturally, that assumes that Victor and Barry are in the house, I'm not exactly up on who is in there right now.

But where to start?

http://www.cummingthefragrance.com/imagesAlan/image7.jpg

I saw some of Cummings Hijack and thought it was genuinely entertaining (ie not in a train wreck or humilliatory way) that he had them character acting. But then when i flicked back Russell Brand was doing it and i could give a shit.

I think i'll wait for the Chapman Brother's turn now

Jade, Jeremy and Victor are in the first eviction.

i caught a bit of BBBM last night. quite like cheery dude and dude-from-teachers-or-whatever-he-was-in as presenters; however, just felt old watching a) clips from the house; b) the audience response.

there's absolutely no thought or awareness going on, is there? it's just televised existence.

still, props to BBBM for getting that light-entertainment behemoth arthur "the policeman out of 'allo! 'allo!" bostrom on as a guest.

Was he just pissing in your cunt?

No, That was Garu G.

"i was sheeting in my noon's flonge ..." nah, doesn't work.

well, it made me laff!

... which is more than arthur bostrom ever did!

*rimshot*

nah, i actually caught a couple of repeats a few years back and was surprised by how genuinely sort of almost nearly vaguely amusing allo! allo! could potentially be.

John McCrirrick today.

god.

Jeremy is the new face of lazy zing culture.

Russell brand is great on this i think it was his destiny

Yeah, this being the first one I actually watched properly, Russell is at least an ideas bloke.

So, it seems everyone's going to vote out the girly that can do erotic body formations.

He comes across as immature and f**ked up, hopeless at relating to others, and in the grip of a conflict between the need to behave according to notions of unreconstructed machismo, and a higher than average sensitivity which gets in the way of him being able to do so.

I keep mistaking his voice for Amy's.

Which is neither here nor there, really.

Totally immature, as is his sister, they're like 13 & 14 (xp)

That's Showbusiness!

Indeed, it would be amazing if they had turned out normal

I wonder if TV Execs would agree that a Big Brother nobody watches is a success... all these celebs can't be cheap either.

It could be a way of experimenting with the formula in order to save the main summer show, trying to get away from the Evil Freak Show aspect, but at the risk that it could have ended up as a BB4-style nicey-nice blando-snooze-fest.

That's no doubt what it is - if they're smart that is

Seriously, they need to give the format a rest for a year, maybe two.

Well, I'd sort of speculated that the days of the "painful showoff" had to be over before BB8, unfortunately they did not agree. however, they seem to, now.

They can, hopefully, sit back and say they created something interesting and entertaining, even though the viewing figures don't register greatly (even if they are the biggest for e4 ever).

They could also be hoping for a steadily building phoenix-from-the-ashes success by stealth, i.e. Wow, these figures for E4 are AMAZING, public demand means that we MUST bring the show back, why wasn't this on C4 ALL ALONG, etc.

gotta love how victor acts like a total macho cock yet he has this little squeaky girls voice. maybe he's overcompensating? he's the only nasty shit in the house, criminal that he didn't go last week.

what was with keith lemon's mate going into the house, hours passing but no footage, then it showed the housemates asking for him to go back? did he clam up once he got in the house? that whole stunt fell flat. found him vaguely amusing sat in the bb control room but he seemed to lose his nerve once he got inside. saying "im twelve years old.." vaguely embarrassed, like he'd be forced into doing this by his mate leigh francis.

Victor and Internet entepreneurlad went.

Then Gordon Ramsay did a cooking evening with the TV audience on Ch4, with Chris Moyles, and a live feed to the 'house'...

And then Anthony won the challenge to go into a 'snug' with three hollyoaks girls, came back, decided he was 'the man' and threw water over john for not being respectful enough, or something.

Scott Mills is the next celebrity.

Scott Mills was last night's hijacker. I didn't watch for that reason. Tonight's is the two guys who are doing BBBM, who I find pretty funny actually, but I suspect I might be alone there.

They were Friday, weren't they? They were on the highlights show shown on Saturday afternoon.

Were they? My mistake.

I could be wrong, I haven't been watching any of this and only saw the bit I did on Saturday while skimming through the channels.

^no that was the live feed, they will be on tonight probs.

Yeah, Ant-knee seemingly attempting to snatch defeat from the jaws of certain victory by bieng a vain, egotistical prick who can't take his drink, and also playing Calista for a fool into the bargain.

How come Jeremy gets to have two girls - Emilia and Amy - to fawn over him the whole time?

Mackenzie Crook
Mackenzie shot to fame as Gareth Keenan, the quirky geek with a funny haircut in the TV hit comedy 'The Office' in 2001. Since then his career has gone from strength to strength with Mackenzie joining the Hollywood elite. He's now perhaps best known for his character Ragetti in the 'Pirates of the Caribbean' trilogy.

Hollywood elite = bit part in a Johnny Depp movie

Emilia and Latoya are up for eviction. It's a 'she's a bitch, no she is' type scrap. Fodder for Harry Hill's TV Burp, I guess.

Next Celeb is Nicole Appleton.

.. along with Melanie Blatt.

And why not?

Latoya went

I guessed.

The only bit I saw was the two AllSaints in the room, chilling out with everyone.

Um, yeah.

Oh a comedy stand up. Basically,people insulting each other. Anthony can not do comedy, it just came over as vicious. Whereas leon? the gay guy anyway, was funny by being wayyyy extreme.

Right, since you asked:

Up for eviction (and two will go) be:
Calista
Nathan
Amy
Jeremy
Emilia
Jay

Anthony escaped as the noms were public, and I guess they knew he'd go off on one. John had a total bye to the final. So, I guess it's Jeremy and Jay to go.

Tonight's show Celeb is Jimmy Carr.

and tomorrow night it's:

http://www.channel4.com/bigbrother/media/images/Channel4/bb_celeb_hijack/d23/day/bbch_d23_1430_booth_298.jpg
Malcolm.

"The first thing to know is that I'm not going to be your Big Brother, I'm certianly not God. I'm far from it," Malcolm told the House. " I'm your best friend as an anti-god. I want to transform this house."

And then the Hijacker had a stark message for the young housemates. "You might think you'll be successful. Well you're not." Ouch.

After telling them a story about success, Malcolm laid it on the line. "To fail is to abandon all rules. Failure isn't a bad thing. It strengthens your resolve. I'm going to try and embark on a journey that will make you forget all you've ever learnt. I'm going to be a kind of mentor, a shapeshifter." Blimey.

The housemates went silent, en masse, for the first time in three weeks, lapping up his unusual instructions. John sat open-mouthed, Calista chewed her hoody. This could be interesting...

it's like this... Malcolm's task lasts for two days, not a few hours. All the furniture has been stripped from the Living Area. Housemates will be given rolls of corrugated cardboard, which they must step inside and unravel, while blindfolded, bumping into one another (still with us? Good.)

After they have unravelled their cardboard, they will lay it on the floor. Each housemate will paint one another and roll on the cardboard creating their new walls to the House.

Later, Malcolm will enter the House to educate the housemates on the fine wines, giving them crates of information.

And finally, when he leaves the House, the housemates must audition for him by playing the game Guitar Hero. The housemates will play in pairs and be given 10 minutes to impress him but when the last four take to the stage, Malcolm will already have gone. And if that doesn't mess them up, it all begins again tomorrow...

So, I guess it's Jeremy and Jay to go

Really? I would have thought Calista + one other, prob. Jeremy but pref. Emilia.

Yeah, I'm predicting "insecure" Calista and "victim" Emilia.

...although it was, in fact, "OMG I'm Joint Third Ugliest" Calista and Fierce/Fierce/Fierce/Vulnerable Jay.

"OMG I'm least intellegent" Calista wasted most of her time and made a fool of herself over Anthony.
Still, fair enough, leave all the major players - and Normski - in there for the final.
John or Amy FTW, then, though no doubt it'll be petty-minded egotist Anthony, coz he iz so buff.

John or Amy seem to be the 'popular' choices.

Jeremy could be the outside bet.

Please, not Anthony.

Jeremy has consistently been my favourite, so him to win, please.

Here are odds.

It's been tough to call this as there has not been the usual "bigbrotheronline" poll to grab some statistics, unless they've relocated some place.

Amy 8 - 11
Anthony 5 - 2
John 5 - 1
Emilia 9 - 1
Jeremy 18 - 1
Nathan 25 - 1

I'm not sure why Nathan is so low in the ratings, and the Jeremy price seems generous. But usually there are only two or three clear favourites. This time, it seems there is only one.

Amy would be a good win, John also. Anthony would be verrbad. So, do we take that turn to wanting good people to win, or rather the badboy and more of that 'people scrapping on TV pleez' for the next BB? Is that what you want, cuz that's wot will 'appen!

The Malcolm bit was quite good after all.

He proposed the 'bodyart' thing, but immediately offered them 'get out' if they were uncomf with the idea. Amy and John opted out, John for the 'not going the George Galloway' ticket, Amy for the '50 reasons' unstated, the rest had fun with it, so much that John was tempted to join in anyway but kept Amy company.

The wine tasting was done in black and white. I didn't see the 'Guitar Hero' but it seemed odd as JRott and co had reconvened to make a re-recording for that game so I guess Malc prompted them in that direction.

Kate Lawler was up on last nights show, brought in a thai takeaway etc.

Next 'celebrity' was JJ, a Ch4 website competition winner. Conspicuous by absence from TV show and c4 website, apart from what I just mentioned.

Big finish = Sugababes, and the live conclusion tonight.

Well, I guess I'll be there.

Talcy Malcy was well crepy: "Hi I'm an aging shitbag, can all of you 19-21 yr olds please strip off in front of me and smear yourselves in paint, k thnx"
I'm surprised only two opted out.

Anthony ripping into Jeremy during the dress-up-as-each-other task was kinda the best thing he's done. he was harsh but otm. I mean, all that "dump Tom, gimmie a kiss / Amy's sister: phwoar" stuff was a bit rum.

Don't know who'll end up winning this, not all that bothered either, really, but Emilia is a strong dark horse candidate here.

John.

How did Emilia finish second? Who would vote for her? Or did John just hoover up so many votes, the rest were just left fighting for the scraps?

I think that's quite probable. Still, Emilia came out to general pandemonium and lots of girlies going "boooooo, noooooo you are too young, pretty, flexible and not humble enough boooo"

Emilia got about 46% of the final vote, John 54%.

I think it might have been like that until Amy went, then Emilia picked up the "not John ffs, what has he even done?" vote.

Eh? That means no-one else got any votes? How does the voting work?

Anybody else feel that John winning was pretty much a foregone conclusion? Voting was closer than I thought it might be, but the first night Matt Lucas was getting John to do stupid stuff - he was a sport about it and carried on being good natured throughout the series.

Oh god yes: The only factor holding him was the immunity from all nominations. The guy was sussed enough not to get into any "Galloway" moments, and managed to keep a cool head without making it look as if he was doing it on purpose.

Anyway, now what?

Emilia photoshoot for Nuts etc?

Victor on homicide charge by end of year?

How does it bode for BB9? I don't want it to be a freakshow, but neither do I want to sit through a zed-fest - which it might very well end up being if the producers decide.

What i would like is the best of both worlds. Take some normal (ie, normal to big brother, not partial celebs like in hijack) contestants but FFS give them something to do all day!!!

What was great about cleb hijack was that the contestants were given STIMULUS and we could watch the REACTING. If they could do the same with the regular gaggle of fame hungry freaks who aren't afraid to get their hands dirty or damage their future careers then we could have some entertainment again.

If bb9 is just another howevermany weeks of depriving people of everything but human contact and waiting for some of them to kick off just for something to do then i don't think i can watch it. It's too dull./

Amy Jackson, 21, from Leeds, a conceptual artist, came third with 21.9 per cent of the vote and Anthony Ogogo, 19, a boxer, from Lowestoft, was fourth with 21.6 per cent

I'm chuffed Amy got more than Anthony, it did seem like he was going to win.

All the percentages, if anyone's interested (as of the time when the housemate was evicted, so they don't add up to 100% of course)

6th.Nathan-5.4%
5th.Jeremy-15.6%
4th.Anthony-21.6%
3rd.Amy- 21.9%
2nd.Emilia-46.1%
1st. John- 53.9%.

Oh, and for anyone who didn't watch, Nathan and Jeremy were announced at the same time, as were Anthony and Amy. So if Nathan and Jeremy got 21% between them at the first vote count, that means 79% left for the other 4, which means less than 20% each on average (so it must have been pretty close if they all got above 15.6).