What do you do to help anxiety?

weeeed

right

i mean it helps for me. i had a prescription for xanax once but i never got a refill

bathe

breathe deep. exhale slow. repeat.

remember my name is not "Brigadier Pudding"

haha

i try to analyze it, keep in mind that it's "useless", think of how great a life i have, remember that my fears don't "help",...

i also masturbate furiously watching cars being washed with honey.

some of this may be false.

sort everything into what you can and can't control, stop teh worrying about the latter, the end.

yeah i think about the control thing too. it's like, okay, that happened. it can't unhappen.

lol stevie

And what are you anxious about in general

What other people think of me. Being "judged". Sadly/comically/tragically, at my relatively advanced age, I still have not gotten over this. I imagine if I were suddenly saddled with big responsibilities in life, like say, raising kids, then that would become immaterial in an instant...but in the meantime, I too often have the self-consciousness of a middle-school student.

Also really beautiful things make me anxious. Seriously. Like I feel overwhelmed by the grandeur of dramatic landscapes. I probably lack a sufficiently ground sense of self.

omg dell i'm totally there... the judging thing, esp.

"grounded", rather

oh and really beautiful people make me anxious as hell

Drink.

Sleep, shower, make sure I've eaten. Mostly I find that the world is very different when I'm clean and healthy.

But also drink.

oh and really beautiful people make me anxious as hell

At my worst. At my best all the neuroses melt away, and I understand what it's like to be normal human being who doesn't agonize over what is essentially ridiculous shit.

mine doesnt need any help

cleanliness perks me up like no other -- everything is different!

it's funny, some ppl pay attention to their bodily needs so much more than others (eating, sleeping, etc). i'm not SUPER attentive to that. like if i'm feeling down sometimes, even if i'm about to break my neck at the computer and i haven't eaten in hours, i'll just assume the problem is in my head...

oh dell i get in my "people make me nervous" moods way too often for comfort. i hate that.

Drink.

Problems: I am one of those people, who, even at my most drunkdness, still feel shy around people. Or else in my boozy state I start to get sad superiority complex, which is obv. self-defeating and silly.

Also, how do I shot job interviews while drunk?

Obv. I should be taking latest SSRI drugs. I don't know.

dell you should post to WDYLL :p

Problems: I am one of those people, who, even at my most drunkdness, still feel shy around people

Well, actually it's not that bad, but, still, I can't talk to random strangers the way that I would like to. At odd moments I get paranoid and think that I am a psychopath or something, but then I remember that one of the defining characteristics of classic psycho-sociopaths is that they are immune to anxiety (I think esp. social anxiety)

meditation is very helpfull.on regular basis.
and,of course,cognitive psychology therapy.

dell you should post to WDYLL :p

Y'mean to boost my ego or something? 'Cause that's the thing, I have reasonably realistic enough self-evaluation to know that I am a good-looking person, but that matters fuck all if one has neurotic jumping beans flashing around the synapses.

right, like angelina jolie in Girl Interrupted :-)

dell ur cracking me up

Zeno OTM w/cognitive psych. Challenging thoughts, etc.

I'm kind of lazy, though!!

I didn't see the movie; quickly, what was the deal w/Angelina's character?

dell, we just want to oogle you :)

Top worry categories in order of appearance:

1. low-level free-floating anxiety (never far away)

2. Disabling flush-inducing intense 'shame flashbacks' to events which can be major or minor and recent, medium past or long-time past.

3. specific worries: e.g. health, work, finance

4. persistent belief/mental reminder that sub-consciously I am a malicious, though not evil, person

Palliatives: alcohol, hot baths, workaholicism

2. Disabling flush-inducing intense 'shame flashbacks' to events which can be major or minor and recent, medium past or long-time past.

omg all the time

main anxiety: not achieving anything in life, quelled by: getting involved

"I'm kind of lazy, though!!"

there are some good books that can help to a certain degree (though less efficiency than a 1-on-1 therapy probably)

I didn't see the movie; quickly, what was the deal w/Angelina's character?

-- dell, Thursday, 10 January 2008 10:08 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

good-looking, crazy

bob we need to talk. i think that's like my life that u just listed.

angelina jolie was a twisted sociopath who had like no compassion for anyone else.

girl, interrupted

I have pills for that.

she was soooo hot in that movie btw

who, whoopi?

hahahaha yes

jogging

But Laurel, others OTM regarding eating, sleeping, etc.

A big part of me is pretty sure that long-term anxiety issues are something that are difficult to address w/o attending stubborn psychophysical issues via yoga, massage, tai chi, bodywork, etc.

Weed maybe fits into that category, but I am one of those people for whom smoking tends to exacerbate anxiety.

In TCM alcohol is said to alleviate anxiety b/c energy blockages are temporarily unblocked...but key word there is "temporarily". The following day your gall bladder meridian is left all out of sorts...

good-looking, crazy

famous dell moment:

friend: yeah, we were talking to so-and-so and your name came up. "Oh, that's the guy who's hot...but weird."

PROOF plz

main anxiety: not achieving anything in life, quelled by: getting involved

You idiot-- "not achieving anything in life"-- dude, don't you attend the UK equivalent of a ivy-league school in the states??!! Bugger you.

Hmm, dell, unless yoga, massage, tai chi, bodywork are your thing, I don't know that I'd say that. (They are not my thing at all. It is cool if you enjoy them.)

Studies have found that the most effective treatment plan for a person is the one they choose themselves. So if I had to do tai chi I would feel even lamer because "not even THIS is working for me there is no hope for me." If that makes sense.

If I were to smoke weed like carne asada says, I would have a hideous anxiety meltdown (this happened on xmas for me actually!).

The mistake too many people make once they get to Oxbridge is thinking "This is it, I'm made". I'm projecting, of course; many of them ARE made in the way they want, but what matters to me - definitive artistic statements, and actually touching peoples' lives in a profoundly positive sense - are things that have of course eluded me thus far. What I'm trying to do is give myself as much chance as possible of making such a statement. And if I fail that, to be a sports commentator or something. :D

I don't hold with 'prestige education' as a mark or even a means to success. You gotta keep working at it. People even who didn't go to college, they have it in themselves just like the rest of us.

PROOF plz

Ha, I swear, I do not own a digital camera and furthermore, my cellphone is such a dinosaur that it lacks picture-taking abilities. Nor do I have a scanner, etc. But this wknd I will sort that and post a picture to satisfy your salaciousness. All you have to be leery of is that I will pull a Luna trick...and all that I have to worry about is that Heave Ho or some similar will turn my life into living YTMND hell.

All you have to be leery of is that I will pull a Luna trick

what, from the underwear thread?

At the end of the day, etc

I had a pretty rough anxiety explosion after starting a new job after being at the same place for 12.5 years, getting fired from aforementioned new job and then getting into hot water at the new new job. Pills and therapy help but I am not enjoying it.

Avoidance has traditionally worked really "well" for me.

i realise how useful it is and how many times nobody has bothered to ask something obvious.

yeah this x10000

weeeed

― carne asada, Wednesday, January 9, 2008 5:18 PM (7 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

aaaaaaahhhhhh ha ha ha. the smell of my neighbor's weed has just added to my existing level of anxiety. (i don't object to marijuana on principle, but smelling smoke in my own apartment triggers the ol' fight or flight reaction. and that was before my smoke alarm started going off for no discernable reason.)

Fortnightly osteopathy sessions helping me a lot at the moment.

Any good strategies for stopping that "four in the morning churning about work" anxiety? Feels like it's a bit out of my control, in the sense that ... I'm asleep and then I'm not. Obviously, address the work is a good starting point but anything else??

my therapist tells me to just get up and do some activity even if you don’t feel like it… because whatever “sleep” I’m getting between eg 4am and 7am is not really quality sleep anyway.

I completely feel you, djh, anxiety has been destroying me lately

In truth, I have no real idea if I'm sleeping at all for those hours.

Thanks brimstead and sorry about your own anxiety.

Is there such a thing as observation anxiety? Like hating to be observed by others?

yes, i think that’s fairly common!

i think that might be one reason i failed 5 driving tests yeah

if you want some unsolicited advice about how to deal with it … i think it’s important to separate the rational fears from the irrational

in my line of work (teaching) i get observed by my supervisors a few times a year. that’s always anxiety-provoking, especially as i usually work in relative isolation. and that’s a rational fear, because the whole point of it is for evaluation. what if they evaluate me poorly? i could lose my job!

in those cases i think you have to deal with your fear of judgment by working on your self esteem. so i tally up all of the feedback i’ve gotten from my supervisors (almost uniformly positive, barring a few one-time things that were really not that negative) and try to be well-prepared, and channel the anxious energy into working hard and doing a good job. and also i try to think about the worst-case scenario. i have a two year contract, so even it it’s the absolute worst case, i won’t be fired, i have another 18 months to improve, etc. everyone’s circumstances vary, but i think you have to work on rational anxieties with rational methods

i also have irrational anxieties. i’m pretty introverted at the best of times, during the quarantine that started to develop into a bit of agoraphobia. i would get anxious at the grocery store, partly because there are not many people my age there without partners, families etc. i would worry about people judging me - “who’s that failure of human” etc. i really didn’t want to be seen!

with that sort of anxiety i had to just kind of say it out loud to myself (not at the grocery store obviously) to hear how dumb it sounded. or i tried to compare that to how i think about strangers when i observe them. i can be as internally bitchy as anyone else but i’m almost never as unfair or judgmental toward random strangers as i am to myself. i tried on those thoughts toward other ppl and i just couldn’t maintain the suspension of disbelief. i believe in some degree of universality of human experience, so even if that wasn’t really rational evidence (in the sense of the past work evaluations, etc) it worked well enough

sometimes it’s a mix of both, like when i’m dj’ing out. people probably do judge me, but also who gives a shit? it’s not my job, it’s just something i do for fun. in that situation i try to apply both strategies, plus also just pay attention to how much better it goes when i don’t worry about being observed. i have to reflect carefully on it afterward to remember that part. i’ve gotten pretty good at middle distance stare just over ppl’s heads

Is there such a thing as observation anxiety? Like hating to be observed by others?

the second strategy for rational fears - thinking about worst-case scenario - also worked pretty good for the agoraphobia anxiety. okay so someone at the grocery store thinks i look like a sad old unmarried uncle, so what? i’m at the grocery store to find bagged salad, peanut butter, yogurt and cream, not a date a job or a new best friend!

that helped me realize i was just projecting my own insecurities out into the world by hearing my own internal self-judgment (in what i imagined to be) someone else’s internal monologue. as if they don’t have enough to worry about, without having to decide exactly what degree of loser i am!

and so yeah, that fixed that but it also sent me back to keep working on my self-esteem. apologies for the long posts, i imagine there are as many varieties of anxiety as there are of sadness, so idk if any of that resonates with your experience.

I guess I was not entirely clear, I hate Being observed in almost any situation ie. Buying groceries.

I don’t know if it’s really even anxiety do much as hugely uncomfortable. Like being on an amusement park ride you really don’t like.

general: lists
observation (specific): avoidance

Avoiding social situations is addictive and feels so good

i disassociate which is sometimes fun and voluntary and sometimes not and involuntary but i can be quite good at being barely being there

i drink to shut my mind up which is bad and i'm trying to stop

cannabis is a wildcard that can help and sometimes makes things worse. partly because i overdo it when it's good. hash feels safest especially in edible form

benzos seemed good at first but i've been addicted for years i keep putting off the withdrawal schedule the doctor gave me because it's terrifying. don't touch these things unless you really need them they're horrible

i conceive of my issues as structurally/politically determined and of this conception as some vague resistance to the neoliberal model of mental health - which can alleviate guilt and can make my problems feel more external but also maybe inevitable and intractible as long as i'm doing fuck all about it (neoliberal guilt comes rushing back)

those are mostly not great. i try to meditate which can help when i'm able. being in the park is nice when i can face the crowds i need to pass to get there. birds are nice to watch. seeing plants change, trying to learn what they are and how they work. reading fiction for the first time since childhood. these feel a lot healthier but take more effort as they are less familiar. i'm trying to turn them into habits to make myself into a calmer and nicer person

one problem is the world and how it's going

i smoke a lot of weed and sit in a hot tub every night for 60 minutes. The weed mostly works.

I agree with Left that benzos are a poor choice, I have prescriptions but only use them for utterly sleepless nights, getting on airplanes, or emergency situations. They are horrible to get off of if you take them with any regularity.

one problem is the world and how it's going

my therapist recommended not paying attention to the world because in face the world is going to hell. that felt both affirming and also annoying.

ignoring it is delusional, acknowledging it is scary, embracing it is heartless, hard to know which is best/worst

I do use cognitive psychology and some Buddhist philosophy to deal with anxiety. I am a worrier.
But I also just feel like at this point in my life I am never going to change with regards to hating social times.
I just feel like an alien in a human body observing and trying not to be noticed. I work from home now so maybe I'm just not used to it anymore

but even before I would just go to the office, enter the back door, sneak into my desk and rarely talk to anyone

another day when i can't even make it out the front door

I feel you, it will ease tho

my son has been prescribed Sertraline for the heightened anxiety states/meltdowns that are a daily occurrence, felt like asking the doc please prescribe me something as well, the strongest shit you've got pls!

I think the fear is that anything could happen, but it's not entirely satisfying to know what will happen.

Is there such a thing as observation anxiety? Like hating to be observed by others?

I can't stand having multiple eyes on me. Even talking to a table of say, over about 5 people, I would find awful unless I knew them really well.

But if you could write a blurb and have someone else read it that would be ok I assume. Unless you are still in the room and everyone knows yo u wrote it and they look at you

Sometimes I feel like I struggle to seem chipper and happy enough when in the presence of others. Like if I let down my guard they will see how much I want them to go away

And sunny successor's/Treppel's advice is likely good, but I would rather complain on internet and self-medicate rather than delve into sssssri's

― dell, Wednesday, January 9, 2008 7:40 PM (fifteen years ago) bookmarkflaglink

In hindsight, this is very fair and I completely agree.

Sertraline has been absolutely transformative for my son. I quite selfishly don't even want to think about the negative side effects of sssri's because I doubt I could cope with a return to how it was before the prescription started.

Glad it’s working out, Calzino!

Thing is, sometimes there are negative side effects but it's case by case. I'll never knock the utility even when they're not working for me

xp
thanks s s.

This extremely pompous management guy from his college was being quite dismissive about the Sertraline, like as if perhaps I wasn't crediting the college enough with the turnaround or he had some personal problem with ssri's that he wasn't sharing with me. But the one to one staff (whose opinions actually matter to me) who work with him tend to notice things like daily self-harm just abruptly not happening any more - just right after he started on it!

i mentioned this on another thread but i tried ssris over the holiday and that's a big fuck no for me

but i could see where, in a different world of self-harm and violent ideation, they might be life savers.
no shade on what's working for your family.

I’m really glad your son has found some relief, calzino

i feel like i've been doing a lot lately. late hours on thursday nights make me feel fragile on fridays. a few things possibly changing in the coming weeks mean more work.

i'm petting my cat and watching this video, trying to remember how to float.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5B4RLRt3X0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rDjPLvOShM

very nice, map. the most sacred genre on youtube is long unedited mounted train cams.

the tough thing about SSRIs is that the first few weeks, even if they are a good fit for you, are absolute hell, and you basically have to find a convenient time to experience that which is...difficult whomever you are.

and it's not like after that it's leveled out perfectly, you just start to feel closer to normal but you still aren't used to it yet so every so often you still feel a little off. so it's sometimes hard to tell if the particular drug is a good fit because you don't know what is body adjusting vs "ok this just ain't it".

I lost my girlfriend at the time I started Effexor (which I lol seem to have documented here under a sockpuppet name back then) because we were already starting to have issues and me being zoned the fuck out for two months and seeming on another planet (and doing a poor job of communicating it to her) was just too much for her, and in hindsight I didn't blame her. just sucked as it was the healthiest relationship I had (we're still close friends) and had I done a bit better job communicating and we'd have found a way to hold on, she would have gotten the healthiest side of me she'd ever gotten.

xp definitely! they're magic. the norway ones are some of the best. i'm happy to hear about your son and the sertraline btw :)

i have more thoughts about the train videos lol. there are more scenic ones and more everyday ones. some of the scenic ones are really stunning and a nice mix of things, but i've watched a lot of them so now i'm usually on the lookout for the latter. you kind of have to embrace being bored as you watch them, and then you get into what i call "the zone" - where the constantly changing scenery is like this woven blanket of time, and you're zoned out in the center. you start to notice odd details, little slices of life on the side that sort of pile up, and wonder about architecture and daily life etc. occasionally you get one with compression artifacts that make it hard to relax into it. the uploader of that german video has a bunch and there's something about the camera settings i really like, the footage looks oddly film-like.

I love that 9:56 video, especially from 7.46 onwards when the landscape is so stark

Effexor was what I tried! It sucked! Ok this just ain't it was where I landed pretty fast.

I don't know if this is anxiety or just me, but today I got an email from a service provider that suggests my contract was cancelled because I didn't do something to renew it, which means I have potentially lost some money. And from that moment my heart rate shot up, I felt sick and panicky and it's taken me all day to calm down and try and think rationally about it. It's the fear I did something wrong combined with me emailing back and forth with someone to try and prove that actually, I'm right, but I don't want to be difficult, but I'm annoyed they said X (we will ask you if we need anything) and didn't do it.
Rationally it's annoying if I have lost the money, but not super important in the grand scheme of things. But also I want to try and make my case in the most straightforward way I can, but they're not just agreeing or seeing things my way!

It's not just this kind of thing, it's any time I think I've said something too far/that can be misinterpreted to someone online/over messaging etc, or even if I remember something at work I should have checked - my heart just races and it's like my body can't deal even though my mind is like 'look just calm down and let me deal with it, it's fine, no-one's dying'.

Are you by chance peri-menopausal? Because once I started the transition the anxiety situation got bad enough that I sought help, got medication changed up/initiated, started therapy, the works really.

It is better but goddamn I would not wish it on anyone.

i did wonder, especially as a year or so ago I was having palpitations (got checked out, told it was "anxiety" although I really don't think I was knowingly anxious about anything) but I don't actually think so, or perhaps it's a really gradual thing. I've felt like this before when actually stressful stuff happens but it's triggered by all sorts of things at the moment.

the trick about anxiety is that when you first begin suffering from it, you will be convinced it's the last thing it could be.

because sometimes it just shows up and causes all of these physical manifestations, sometimes when you think you feel calm and unstressed, because it's subconscious and manifesting itself in ways that make you have to notice it.

when mine first took off, I began noticing hand and eye twitches, tingling in hands, a feeling of blood rushing in my leg, all of this stuff, and I was convinced something was physically wrong with me because "what, I swear I am fine!", and when I finally wound up in a hospital and a doctor said "your tests are all fine - here's a Xanax", I think that was my body's way of saying "I was trying to send you a message this whole time!"

(and then, of course, the other problem is, sometimes 'anxiety' becomes the lazy diagnosis from professionals when there is actually physically something wrong - particularly when the patients are women, but I doubt I have to tell anybody that itt, sadly :(