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Restaurants on the road to avoid (US)

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The Sizzler comment in another thread reminded me to ask this: what places should I avoid when on the road (east of the West Coast) even if I'm on the verge of starving?

I've heard shivering tales of Taco John's, Hardee's, and east coast Dairy Queens.

And I can tell you that you're better up digesting your own stomach lining than eat at Sizzler's, Taco Del Mar, or Ivar's.

― Brian MacDonald, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Cracker Barrel. Chuck E CHeese.

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh yeah, when you make to NYC avoid Sbarro's or Ray's Pizza. At all costs.

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Quick side note: all you NYCers get all my love, but since all of you guys are probably used to excellent food, I'll tell you all right now I'm gonna take the opinions of those outside NYC a little more seriously...

(..also because Sbarro's tends to be the best place inside any west coast shopping mall food court... which is probably a sign of my plebeian taste in food)

― Brian MacDonald, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Hey, some of the Ray's have decent pizza. I like the one on 6th Ave and 16th St. Sbarro's though, I won't touch that stuff.

I'm also kind of fond of Cracker Barrel, but I know exactly what to expect there.

― Pyth, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Well, I live in New Jersey. So take my opinions seriously! :-)

Speaking about Jersey food ... I guess you'll have to check out a New Jersey Greek diner or two. Supposedly we're famous for them. I'll be damned if I can differentiate a good one from a bad one, though.

Do they have White Castles on the West Coast? Or is that also an East Coast thing?

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Or Cinnabun. Avoid Cinnabun. I hate Cinnabun.

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Applebee's is always so crowded, apparently with people seeking that "neighborhood" freeway interchange ambience, that I've never tried the food. Point is, you'll lose all-important road time. I used to find breakfast at Denny's or Bob Evans to be decent, but they've both apparently learned that even a trace of quality isn't profitable.

― Curt, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

We do not have White Castles on the West Coast. The only time I've ever eaten at WC was on a visit to aunt/uncle in Minneapolis. Thank God I had that experience when I was 12 or so... I don't think I could stomach it now. Those things are incredible. Ordering burgers in sets of 6 is not right. Punching holes out of the little patties is not right. None of it's right.

― Ron Hudson, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

There's a slew of really disgusting Rob's Big Boys at the service centers that line the New Jersey Turnpike and Garden State Parkway. These should be avoided, though the All-You-Can-Eat Breakfast Buffets might sound tempting because they're cheap (the food tastes like ass).

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

applebees gave me food posioning but nothing is as nautious as Popeyes chiken , its awful

― anthony, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Popeye's ROXOR!

You just haven't eaten at a good one, Anthony.

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Monday, 11 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm going to nominate Steak n' Shake as a decent, though less than exciting, diner-like chain. (Cue ILE naysayers' horror stories.)

― Curt, Tuesday, 12 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Agreed, Popeyes serves poison. And KFC is all right if you like rancid cooking oil.

― Curt, Tuesday, 12 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Popeyes, Hardees, Cracker Barrel (I worked there in high school!), KFC, Shoney's = horrifying.

― Clarke B., Tuesday, 12 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i also like cracker barrel...as for denny's, i don't think i've ever eaten anything there that didn't give me the runs...

― ernest, Tuesday, 12 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I think you SHOULD go to Chuck E. Cheese. And take lots of pictures. And bring me and my friends, that'd be the fucking shit. What's the closest Chuck E. Cheese to the Upper West Side?

― Ally, Tuesday, 12 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I tried going to a Chuck E Cheese recently, just to play Skee-Ball. I love Skee-Ball. The bouncer wouldn't let me in because I wasn't with a kid. Yes, they had a bouncer! It was fucked up. This one was in NY.

― geeta, Tuesday, 12 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

cracker barrel! YUM YUM YUM gimme fried okra and chicken fried steak!

― phil, Tuesday, 12 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Have to second this: avoid Sizzler's at all costs. Price sucks you in, but the food puts you off. (Since I have a pretty strong stomach, THAT should tell you something;>)

***What's the closest Chuck E. Cheese to the Upper West Side?***

Jersey, or LI, Ally. Otherwise, depend on memories;>

― Nichole Graham, Tuesday, 12 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

IIRC, Brian, you said you liked Subway's better than Togo's, which is unfathomable to me and tells me you will probably hate what I like....but here goes.

Actually, fuck it, I don't eat at bad places, I eat well....I learned all my lessons as a spoiled teenage stoner driving around trying a new restaurant every night and pigging out.....funny thing about most downtown Denny's is that around 3:00, mad teenagers, great looking ones, are still packing the place apres- clubbing/drugs/cruising/etc.....when we didn't know any better we'd be so stoned and munching out we'd eat those greaseball mozza stick platters and that see-thru sandwich bread like mad, and then when we went home with whoever we paired off with that night to get our freak on, we'd have the grossest smelling sweat sloshing between our bodies.....that semi-crispy unsettling industrial grease smell seeping out our pores and mingling with weed breath and cock and cunt smellz.....some seriously vile bullshit in retrospizzect.....even if you didn't shag, your piss would be bright yellow and stink too...Denny's is rugged....just order Sprite my man

― Ramosi, Tuesday, 12 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I really like White Castle cheeseburgers, strangely enough. You should have them once and under no circumstances pretend that they will be haute cuisine burgers. My mother calls them Gut Bombs.

Chain diners: Perkins' and Embers are okay places in the Midwest. Embers is 24/7 place where, in wintertime, they keep the AC on to make sure punks don't hang out there on one coffee all night.

Brian, if I were you I'd trust friends in various cities to take you to cool non-chain places. If you go to Mpls, just eat the Vietnamese food on Nicollet Avenue - any place is good. Also weekend breakfast is a religion there.

― suzy, Tuesday, 12 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Denny's is rugged" is easily the quote of the year, that's fucking amazing. Me and my mom used to ditch school and go to Denny's, in order to steal their silverware and run out on the check. There's something very funny about running out on a $5 check.

― Ally, Tuesday, 12 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The above posts show why I heart Suzy and Ally. I gotta say, White Castle is AMAZINGLY WONDERFUL and should be tried at least once.

The main place to avoid in the Boston area: BICKFORD'S. Do not be tempted by this Perkins/Ember's/IHOP wannabe. It's awful and horrible and people who go there (wait for it...) smell like wee. (God, I need to find a new phrase.)

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 12 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

My sister found a big yellow spider in the middle of her White Castle burger when we were kids.

Despite this being one of the funniest things ever, it made me never want to eat there again.

― Nicole, Tuesday, 12 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

There is a vileness known as Boston Market where all the old people eat their din-dins at about 4pm. Lots of mucousy gravy on pulverised turkey and 'instant' mashed potatoes. Avoid.

Also in Minneapolis: Byerly's (restaurant attached to posh supermarket, a mini-chain where the fur-coat ladies sneered at the soccer moms; we noveaux wavers shot the fur-coat ladies with squirt guns because we were BORED). I am *sooooooo* craving the Wild Rice Soup right now.

Anyway, for some reason I like Taco Bell, probably because my mom plays Drive Thru Roulette there. This is where you tell the drive-thru order- taker: 'I've got ten bucks - surprise me!'

Dan, you must love me and Ally because we've got the most bonkers moms.

― suzy, Tuesday, 12 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I forgot all about IHOP (or, as we called it, I-Slop). Aren't those national?

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Tuesday, 12 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

If the thought of Boston Market food isn't bad enough, there's a rumor that the former Dead Milkmen lead singer is now the store manager at a Philadelphia-area Boston Market. (Funny that, since there's a line making fun of someone who works at Hardee's in "You'll Dance To Anything.")

Maybe that'll be Brian's project if he goes to Philly, to discover which Boston Market this fellow works at.

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Tuesday, 12 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Brian knows about the vileness of IHOP firsthand.

I had completely forgotten Boston Market is til you all brought it up, it is one of the most disgusting places I have ever eaten.

― Nicole, Tuesday, 12 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Their teflon macaroni is DA BOMB, though.

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 12 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Teflon macaroni?

Somewhere on the road from Minneapolis to Chicago, but well before Madison, there is a good diner serving homemade lemon meringue pie. I do not know its name, but trust me, it's there. Look for working grannies behind counter; it's in a smaller town and IS NOT a truck stop.

Also: in Mpls on 44th and France, the Convention Grill. Unchanged since 1930something.

― suzy, Tuesday, 12 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The macaroni at Boston Market is heavier than plutnonium and I'm certain that it could be scientifically proven to be a non-stick surface. I'm also partially convinced it's bulletproof, but "teflon macaroni" sounds better than "kevlar macaroni". It's also YUMMY. (Sometimes I'm convinced that my tastebuds hate the rest of my body.)

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 12 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Gah, between this and the guy eating chicken that smells like it has gone bad in the library right now, I think I might be sick.

― Nicole, Tuesday, 12 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Well, I know what you mean: visiting American friend brought me DingDongs and several products with CHEEZ in them which I was loving purely for the metallic CHEEZ taste plus you have to eat Velveeta CHEEZ and Shells Meal within about five minutes of its being assembled or it congeals. I mean, it's pretty bad when by comparison the ordinary add- butter-and-milk Kraft mac'n'CHEEZ dinner seems like HEALTH FOOD.

Yes I am surfing about six deadlines. Can you not tell?

― suzy, Tuesday, 12 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

People who bring food into rooms where it doesn't belong should be arrested. One sandwich can make a whole office reek all afternoon.

― Curt, Tuesday, 12 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

All of these chain restaurants sound bad.

― Sean, Tuesday, 12 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Anyway, for some reason I like Taco Bell, probably because my mom plays Drive Thru Roulette there. This is where you tell the drive-thru order- taker: 'I've got ten bucks - surprise me!'

For real??! What does she get in return??! I'm freaked out.

During Mir's er, "landing", Taco Bell put a little float with a target painted on it out in the middle of the ocean, and said that if Mir crashed onto it, they would give every man, woman, and child in the United States a free burrito. I thought that was great, even though the chances were nil, and even though their food is absolutely wretched.

Have you ever watched the workers at Taco Bell? They use caulking guns to apply the ingredients to the burritos! Scary!

― geeta, Tuesday, 12 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Have you ever watched the workers at Taco Bell? They use caulking guns to apply the ingredients to the burritos!

This is why Taco Bell is CLASSIC. More food should be prepared using caulking guns. "Here is madam's beef Wellington." *gloop*

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 12 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Straight outta Brazil, that image.

Brian knows about the vileness of IHOP firsthand.

"Fresh...frozen...strawberries?"

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 12 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ah, the Taco Bell caulk guns. Takes "food fights" to a whole new level. Guacamole & sour cream stain like bitches.

IHOP is probably vile, but it's also really good (cf. Dan's tastebuds / body conundrum). There's one in Allston friends & I occassionally stop @ after seeing a show @ the Middle East. At 3 AM, on a Saturday, the clientele resembles a cast of extras from _54_. It makes up for the semi-lackluster food. (At 3 AM, though, it'd be tough to find anything that wouldn't taste good, sez the Doubled, Covered & Smothered boy.)

― Daver, Tuesday, 12 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Midwest: Search: Donato's, Quizno's, Subway (no Jared crackbacks please) Destroy: Mr. Chicken, Tim Horton's, anything with 'Buffet' in the name

― Jeff Wright, Tuesday, 12 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

they have tim hortons in america ?
The best thing there is chicken stew in the bread bowl , really you must go if in toronto

― anthony, Wednesday, 13 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Sigh. Daver, that description makes me misty-eyed for the old Deli Haus....RIP Deli Haus.

You all must take the starving effect into account. After a week and a half of living in a tent in the Nevada desert at Burning Man, lunch at the IHOP in Reno was the Best Thing Ever. On my cross-country road trip, I really started appreciating garbage highway-side fast food-chain restaurants more than I ever had before; in many parts of the highway, it's the only representation of what could be called "human civilization" for 40,50, 100 miles. Take I-80 straight across the country and you'll see...there are parts of this country (Nebraska, Wyoming, Nevada, etc) that are virtually uninhabited for 200 mile stretches. Beautiful landscapes, to be sure, until you start looking for something to eat.

And come on, Dan, Bickford's isn't that bad...okay it is. I wish Waffle House was in Massachusetts. Sigh...Waffle House.

― geeta, Wednesday, 13 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Caulking guns are the *only* way to deal with refried beans.

Geeta, Taco Bell is probably the only fast food joint you'd be able to safely play Drive Thru Roulette at. You hand over your $10 and you get whatever's there. I mean, what's it going to be? Couple of soft tacos, couple of quesadillas, burrito, fajitas...not much margin for disappointment if you're my mom. And if there's one thing she doesn't like, in the dog it goes.

― suzy, Wednesday, 13 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Define "safely"...

What terrible American chain restaurants are also found outside of the US? If there are many to be found, I feel sorry for the whole world...

― geeta, Wednesday, 13 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I heart Steak 'n Shake. Many a high school night I spent with a cup of coffee and milkshake there. Hardee's is disgusting. Arby's is good. White Castle is good once every five years. I would not recommend it in the midst of a long drive though. That's putting a heavy strain on your digestive system. They've good hot chocolate though. Watch for truck stops like Dixie midway b/n St. Lou and Chi town. They've good food and good arcades.

― bnw, Wednesday, 13 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

'Safely' means they're not going to hand you the one thing on the menu that you can't or won't eat. There is not much difference between Taco Bell dishes if you are not a vegetarian. You can also play the vegetarian form of drive-thru roulette at TB, but it's all cheese and beans. Weirdly, when my mom does 'surprise me' the order takers are all like 'How 'bout some fajitas?' and get quite chatty. She started doing this at Taco Bell for two reasons: because my sister and I were fighing over what we were going to have one day; also the *one* time she ever got stoned she thought nothing had happened until she pitched up at the drive-thru with her $10, horrible munchies, no clue what to have, and a queue of cars behind. She did not understand why the munchies were happening as had never smoked before.

Chains in Britain are bleurrrrgh. If you're driving, there are these strange outposts called 'Services' where you can get Burger King, Pizza Hut and cafeteria-style dreck at hyperinflated prices. Also check Harvester, Happy Eater, Little Chef.

I used to like Pret a Manger until 30 per cent buyout from McDonalds.

― suzy, Wednesday, 13 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, I was surprised to see a Tim Horton's around Chicago. I felt like I had taken a very wrong turn on I-94.

― Curt, Wednesday, 13 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I have to share a classic Bob Evans moment from Christmas:

We're visiting my in-laws in Cincinnati. It's Sunday morning and we've decided to swing by Bob Evans for brunch. As we're walking in, we see two men (one in a track suit, the other in a three-piece suit and a trenchcoat) arguing over a woman. Three-Piece is loudly proclaiming to everyone within earshot that he is done with this woman, she's done what she's had to do and had a warrant put out for his arrest, so Track Suit can have her. Track Suit seems to be asking for money that he owes this mystery woman, but Three-Piece would rather announce over and over that he has a warrant out for his arrest than discuss financial matters.

What is it about the American psyche that causes people who are wanted by the police to shout about it in public at great length? If there was a warrant out on me, you'd never hear from me again, yet this is the second (or is it third?) person I've seen yelling in public about being a fugitive.

― Dan Perry, Wednesday, 13 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I've travelled from coast to coast on I-80 4 times, and it was very depressing food-wise.

― Sean, Wednesday, 13 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I recommend the Wal-Mart dining areas, you get these huge hot dog/soda combos for like $1.50. I can't believe people were dissing Popeye's up there, that's like the best chain there is!

― Kris, Wednesday, 13 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

AVOID KFC AS IF YOUR LIFE DEPENDED ON IT.

(there's a chuck e. cheese in queens, and truly, it is the scariest place on earth.)

in philly, pleez to be avoiding: any "eatery" within the south st. area (witht the exception of lorenzo's and ishkabibbles[french fries ONLY, no cheez), also geno's and pat's steaks: truly the most OVERRATED PHILADELPHIA EATERIES IN THE HISTORY OF THE FREE WORLD. if you eat at a subway or pizza hut or eat a super pretzle in philadelphia you have given yourself liscense to be shot.

― jess, Wednesday, 13 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

if you eat at a subway or pizza hut or eat a super pretzle in philadelphia you have given yourself liscense to be shot.

I thought that just going in Philadelphia was giving yourself license to be shot...

And with one flip comment, the young Bostonian introduced the worst Geography War ever seen on IL*.

― Dan Perry, Wednesday, 13 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Clearly Anthony has eaten too many moose curries and has no room to comment on the culinary value of America's fast food establishments. Popeyes is the veritable bomb.

― Samantha, Wednesday, 13 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

To all those dissing Boston Market should try Mcdonalds now that's nasty.

― MICHELINE, Wednesday, 13 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

two months pass...
Ok...McDonalds is a gimme, enough grease comes out of one of those restaurants in a day to lube all the cars in North America for a month!! The worst place to eat, and I cannot stress this enough, is Subway. Each store has that distinct babyshit smell and food poisoning is a common occurance there. Also, Tim Hortons has the worst coffee (burnt tree bark avec dog turd) and as for Burger King, if I wanted "broiled" cartilage on a bun, I'd ask for it dammit!!

― Trevor, Wednesday, 5 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

no talkin bad bout BK whut? 99c bacon cheeseburgers

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 6 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Sorry, Tracer. Their BK veggies make me cough and hack.. literally. Something in those hard tough veggie patties when microwaved likes to hook inside my throat. Sigh... So much for a competent veggie item from a big fast food chain...

― Brian MacDonald, Thursday, 6 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

has anyone ever eaten at "Pea Soup Andersons" in cali?

― chaki, Thursday, 6 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Denny's, Denny's, Denny's. I have no idea how the rest of America survives without Waffle House.

― J Blount, Thursday, 6 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Anderson's, baby. It IS all about the pea soup.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 6 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Daver, I know that Bickfords in Allston well. I used to frequent it after long drunken nights. Blahhhh.

― Chris, Thursday, 6 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

That's not a Bickford's, it's an IHOP!

― Dan Perry, Thursday, 6 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

down near Martingetti's? I could have sworn it was a Bickfords, goes to show hom much I drink.....

― Chris, Thursday, 6 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Count yourselves lucky you don't have Little Chef or Happy Eater (or do you? In which case, my commiserations).

― Matt, Thursday, 6 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

At least you guys don't have Ivar's or Taco Del Mar... (shudder shudder shudder)...

And I do await the inevitable take over by Waffle House with open arms.

― Brian MacDonald, Thursday, 6 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

There's a chain based around fish tacos?

― Kris, Thursday, 6 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Wahoo's! Yes, mostly around Orange County, CA and one in Denver. They're not bad, but certainly overrated. (the veggie items at least)

― Brian MacDonald, Thursday, 6 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

www.wahoos.com. Yes, it's very surfer oriented.

― Brian MacDonald, Thursday, 6 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh, no, I was assuming Tacos Del Mar was a fish taco place.

― Kris, Thursday, 6 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)


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