BEST MOVIE EVER

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As chosen by the Institute for Films That Totally Rule -- and there's even a non-American choice for Dr. Morbius!

Poll Results

OptionVotes
The Warriors 15
Labyrinth 11
Heathers 8
Con Air 6
Roadhouse 6
Reanimator 5
The Long Kiss Goodnight 4
Weird Science 4
The Running Man 3
Hard Target 3
Crank 1
Over the Top 0
Gunhed 0
Airheads 0
Bound0


Jeff Treppel, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 00:30 (eighteen years ago)

it's Road House. two words. get it right.

chaki, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 00:33 (eighteen years ago)

fuck i didn't pick over the top

Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 00:35 (eighteen years ago)

I put in a moderation request to change it, chaki. Thanks for pointing it out!

Jeff Treppel, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 00:36 (eighteen years ago)

paint dont hurt.

chaki, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 00:38 (eighteen years ago)

The Warriors

Eric H., Wednesday, 16 January 2008 01:46 (eighteen years ago)

Well, I know which among those is the best dance ever.

Abbott, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 01:50 (eighteen years ago)

The Running Man?

Jeff Treppel, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 01:51 (eighteen years ago)

YES>

Out of these I have seen only Labyrinth & the Warriors and both are just okay.

Abbott, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 01:55 (eighteen years ago)

“Hey, I think you might like Hard Target, check it out.”

W4LTER, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 01:57 (eighteen years ago)

Dude, those movies rule! One has David Bowie's package and the other has some of the most quotable lines ever.

I'm fairly sure I'm the only one who's seen Gunhed, but I thought people on here would have seen more of these movies.

Jeff Treppel, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 01:57 (eighteen years ago)

And Hard Target is an interesting one where the first half is one of the worst movies ever (with the exception of Jean-Claude Van Damme's reveal on the docks) and the second half is one of the best movies ever.

Jeff Treppel, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 01:59 (eighteen years ago)

I am a real square who pretty much watches musicals and documentaries, and not representative of the board at large.

Abbott, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 01:59 (eighteen years ago)

Musicals are cool, but prohibited from BEST MOVIE EVER status by not having Sylvester Stallone.

Jeff Treppel, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:00 (eighteen years ago)

I'm glad I finally saw The Warriors so I could come correct to this

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:02 (eighteen years ago)

I get the feeling that one is going to sweep this.

Jeff Treppel, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:03 (eighteen years ago)

If only Xanadu had been included.

Eric H., Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:05 (eighteen years ago)

I've only seen two of these: the first one (as a kid) and the last one (in college). I've never even heard of eight of them (#2-#5, #8-#11).

jaymc, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:06 (eighteen years ago)

Oh wait, I have seen Heathers too and it's pretty okay, but it is either not mean enough or too mean, somewhere in between that kills the funny for me, plus swatches wtf are not inherently funny.

Abbott, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:09 (eighteen years ago)

Airheads has Adam Sandler, yes? That could be pretty good.

Abbott, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:10 (eighteen years ago)

Crank: Jason Statham has been injected with a deadly poison that slows his heart down, and he has to keep his adrenaline levels up so he can go kick the ass of the guy who did it to him before he dies.

Gunhed: Toho post-apocalyptic live-action giant robot movie that broke my friend's brain.

Over-The-Top: Sylvester Stallone has to win an arm wrestling tournament to get custody of his son.

Hard Target: Jean-Claude Van Damme IS the Most Dangerous Game.

The Running Man: Arnold Schwarzenegger plays a wrongfully convicted criminal who must compete in a deadly game to take down an evil futuristic post-apocalyptic government and the guy who used to host Family Feud but killed himself. With Mick Fleetwood playing himself as the head of the rebellion!

Road House: Patrick Swayze is a Zen bouncer who has to beat up a bunch of guys.

The Warriors: a gang in late 1970s New York has to make it from the Bronx back to their home turf in Coney Island with every other gang in the city and the police after them.

Reanimator: "Adaptation" of HP Lovecraft's "Herbert West: Reanimator." Features an infamous scene in which a disembodied head, well, does things to a naked coed...

Jeff Treppel, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:16 (eighteen years ago)

I remember liking Hard Target, I think. That's the John Woo-directed one set on the Bayou, right?

Hurting 2, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:19 (eighteen years ago)

Gunhed is kind of totally fucking amazing

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:24 (eighteen years ago)

Crank is no Transporter. Where's Banlieue 13?

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:24 (eighteen years ago)

Obv Wrong Bet, Kick Boxer, Blood Sport >>> Hard Target.

W4LTER, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:25 (eighteen years ago)

(although transporter lacks amy smart getting boned in public)

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:25 (eighteen years ago)

this is the wikipedia plot summary for Gunhed. I had forgotten what great heights to which the human race could soar:

In the year 2038, a group of scavengers enter the complex of the renegade Kyron-5 in search of precious element Texmexium. Death befalls each one until only the mechanic Brooklyn is left. He meets a stranded Texas Air Ranger and two children living in the rubble. They must destroy Kyron-5 in order to escape and to save humanity from its wrath. Brooklyn discovers a GUNHED (Gun UNit Heavy Elimination Device) combat robot and restores it. Meanwhile, Babe has been transformed into a bio-droid and is seeking out Sergeant Nim and the Texmexium she stole. In order to save her and destroy Kyron-5, Brooklyn must overcome his fear of cockpits and pilot the GUNHED all the way to the top of the tower. On the way, he faces the combined defenses of the complex.

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:27 (eighteen years ago)

Bloodsport >> Kickboxer

OK USA!

chaki, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:28 (eighteen years ago)

Crank

milo z, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:29 (eighteen years ago)

Bloodsport would've gotten my vote.

Jordan, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:30 (eighteen years ago)

pretty sure the answer to this question is THE BURBS, guys.

chaki, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:32 (eighteen years ago)

it should be The Warriors in a walk but this is an excellent list of options tbh

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:35 (eighteen years ago)

CHAKI OTFM

Abbott, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:35 (eighteen years ago)

wait, you've never heard of The Warriors, j?

Eric H., Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:36 (eighteen years ago)

crank was sort of fun but too stupid even in the context of the other films. i'll go with 'the warriors', 'hard target' a distant second. 'bloodsport' is awesome.

omar little, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:37 (eighteen years ago)

Labyrinth will probably win, since it crosses demographics into 'people who don't normally watch films that rule'.

Jordan, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:38 (eighteen years ago)

(shamefully i still haven't seen the warriors, though this thread bumped it up on the ol' queue ;_;)

Jordan, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:39 (eighteen years ago)

Torn between "Re-Animator" and "Bound," but I don't think "Bound" really belongs on this list, so I went for "Re-Animator." Yeah, sue me, I'm trying to pick movies that are actually good.

kenan, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:45 (eighteen years ago)

Reanimator: "Adaptation" of HP Lovecraft's "Herbert West: Reanimator." Features an infamous scene in which a disembodied head, well, does things to a naked coed...

oh fuck all that, it's hilarious. And dryer than an egyptian tomb.

kenan, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:48 (eighteen years ago)

Why did they even make a porn of it then?

Abbott, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:51 (eighteen years ago)

don't look at me.

kenan, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:52 (eighteen years ago)

wait, you've never heard of The Warriors, j?

No, should I have?

jaymc, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:53 (eighteen years ago)

yes.

chaki, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:54 (eighteen years ago)

Not necessarily, but it is sort of one of the best movies of the '70s. Of course, I also get weird when someone tells me they haven't heard of The Parallax View.

Eric H., Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:55 (eighteen years ago)

Even Jeff Healy can see that Road House is the best on the list btw.

chaki, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:56 (eighteen years ago)

Uh where is Arthur 2: On the Rocks?

wanko ergo sum, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:57 (eighteen years ago)

Road House is a brilliant piece of dadaism that doesn't know it.

kenan, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:58 (eighteen years ago)

wait, you've never heard of The Warriors, j?

No, should I have?

-- jaymc, Wednesday, January 16, 2008 2:53 AM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

rap samples

Jordan, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 02:59 (eighteen years ago)

Labyrinth. Partly for introducing me to Bowie. I'm a hude Bowie fan now, but I'll always primarily think of him as the Goblin King.

chap, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 03:00 (eighteen years ago)

kenan that is a pretty boring thing to say about road house.

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 03:01 (eighteen years ago)

lol Sean Astin

W4LTER, Thursday, 17 January 2008 01:27 (eighteen years ago)

He does the voiceovers for Meerkat Manor on Animal Planet. All I can think about is him searching for One-Eyed Willie.

Alex in SF, Thursday, 17 January 2008 01:30 (eighteen years ago)

toy soldiers is OKAY.

chaki, Thursday, 17 January 2008 01:31 (eighteen years ago)

as a child I think I was slightly gay for Sean Astin and his inhaler

wanko ergo sum, Thursday, 17 January 2008 01:32 (eighteen years ago)

Anyone who actually believes one of the movies listed is the Best Ever is likely to go apeshit for this trailer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=feELmdZUrTs&e

Oilyrags, Thursday, 17 January 2008 13:35 (eighteen years ago)

Yes, that looks good. Loved Dog Soldiers and The Descent.

chap, Thursday, 17 January 2008 13:43 (eighteen years ago)

ok so this 'doomsday' basically = 28 days later + escape from new york + road warrior?

Rob Bolton, Thursday, 17 January 2008 13:56 (eighteen years ago)

+ Tony Hopkins and Mal Mcdowell chewing scenery and spitting it out.

Oilyrags, Thursday, 17 January 2008 14:43 (eighteen years ago)

That sounds awesome! Anyway, even I don't genuinely believe that any one of those movies is the best movie ever. The criteria for inclusion in this poll basically consisted of films where I've said "BEST MOVIE EVER!" after viewing said film.

Jeff Treppel, Thursday, 17 January 2008 20:59 (eighteen years ago)

ugh I loved the Descent but that trailer looked like dogshit.

gunhed sounds awesome, though.

Simon H., Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:07 (eighteen years ago)

WOLVERINES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nickalicious, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:30 (eighteen years ago)

given your criteria and the results, you really need to see this movie:
http://dreamers.com/indices/imagenes/peliculas.684.IMAGEN1.jpg

Dimension 5ive, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:41 (eighteen years ago)

Where in my criteria does it say "must star Rutger Hauer and take place in a post-apocalyptic future"? I mean, OK, post-apocalyptic certainly helps, but there is a decided lack of Rutger Hauer in the voting options.

Jeff Treppel, Thursday, 17 January 2008 23:45 (eighteen years ago)

Yeah but he's still awesome

W4LTER, Thursday, 17 January 2008 23:47 (eighteen years ago)

nyone who actually believes one of the movies listed is the Best Ever is likely to go apeshit for this trailer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=feELmdZUrTs&e

rong

chaki, Thursday, 17 January 2008 23:52 (eighteen years ago)

Yeah, I agree with chaki (surprisingly). Looks pretty reheated.

Jeff Treppel, Thursday, 17 January 2008 23:54 (eighteen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

ILX System, Thursday, 24 January 2008 00:01 (eighteen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

ILX System, Friday, 25 January 2008 00:01 (eighteen years ago)

No surprise at The Warriors, a bit surprised at how much of a spread there was, though. Looks like a lot of lurker votes.

Jeff Treppel, Friday, 25 January 2008 00:06 (eighteen years ago)

BEST POSTER EVER

Jeff Treppel 2371864
any other poster 0

and what, Friday, 25 January 2008 00:08 (eighteen years ago)

*takes a bow*

Jeff Treppel, Friday, 25 January 2008 00:13 (eighteen years ago)

j/k

and what, Friday, 25 January 2008 00:20 (eighteen years ago)

WHY IS THE STONED AGE NOT LISTED HERE??

homosexual II, Friday, 25 January 2008 00:21 (eighteen years ago)

Oh, I know you are. But it's so much more fun to take nasty, sarcastic comments at face value and feel good about yourself than take them as they're meant and feel bad. Now you are on record as saying that I am the best poster ever. Thanks!

Jeff Treppel, Friday, 25 January 2008 00:21 (eighteen years ago)

I MEAN, COME ON

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/0/01/200px-StonedAgePoster.jpg

homosexual II, Friday, 25 January 2008 00:22 (eighteen years ago)

Stoner comedy ranks pretty high up there in my list of movie sub genres that I despise.

Jeff Treppel, Friday, 25 January 2008 00:24 (eighteen years ago)

And yet you liked Airheads. . .

Alex in SF, Friday, 25 January 2008 00:25 (eighteen years ago)

Airheads has the whole rock 'n roll thing going for it, which cancels out the stoner stuff. I mean, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure is also kind of stoner comedy, but it isn't about how funny smoking weed is.

Jeff Treppel, Friday, 25 January 2008 00:32 (eighteen years ago)

Bill & Ted should probably have been on this list?

Jordan, Friday, 25 January 2008 00:34 (eighteen years ago)

Yeah, it really should have. I'm thinking of compiling a sequel list based on peoples' suggestions in the thread above. Would you (non-Ethan) guys be up for that?

Jeff Treppel, Friday, 25 January 2008 00:41 (eighteen years ago)

u madd

and what, Friday, 25 January 2008 00:42 (eighteen years ago)

WELL, TBH, i'D BE UP FOR MOAR rUTGER

W4LTER, Friday, 25 January 2008 00:42 (eighteen years ago)

Nominate one, Walter.

Jeff Treppel, Friday, 25 January 2008 00:44 (eighteen years ago)

Heathers and Labyrinth are so much better than The Warriors.

Simon H., Friday, 25 January 2008 15:40 (eighteen years ago)

Airheads deserved better.

blueski, Friday, 25 January 2008 15:48 (eighteen years ago)

may need to re-evaluate on Con Air re quotes

blueski, Friday, 25 January 2008 15:50 (eighteen years ago)

"One girl, I drove through three states wearing her head as a hat."

blueski, Friday, 25 January 2008 15:51 (eighteen years ago)

Warriors wins and the world makes a little more sense again.

But how did Roadhouse get *any* votes ?

Ste, Friday, 25 January 2008 16:05 (eighteen years ago)

Titties.

gnarly sceptre, Friday, 25 January 2008 16:27 (eighteen years ago)

Monster truck.

gnarly sceptre, Friday, 25 January 2008 17:08 (eighteen years ago)

Ben Gazzara.

Oh, and Patrick Swayze as 'Zen bouncer'.

gnarly sceptre, Friday, 25 January 2008 17:09 (eighteen years ago)

"Cy..."

"...onara!"

(explosion)

Savannah Smiles, Friday, 25 January 2008 18:09 (eighteen years ago)

Con Air got my vote, it's like the perfect storm of awesomely bad.

Jeff Treppel, Friday, 25 January 2008 20:05 (eighteen years ago)

three weeks pass...

So I finally saw Red Dawn! And man, despite seeming to have a lot of criteria to qualify as BEST MOVIE EVER, it is a joyless, miserable ordeal. Not to mention the fact that, although they obviously didn't intend it at the time, the parallels to Iraq make it uncomfortable to watch now. Dud.

Jeff Treppel, Friday, 15 February 2008 20:53 (eighteen years ago)

Snakes On A Plane!

-- Dom Passantino, Thursday, 14 February 2008 14:06 (2 days ago) Link

Alex in Baltimore, Saturday, 16 February 2008 03:29 (eighteen years ago)

I was really hoping Snakes on a Plane would be the BEST MOVIE EVER, and it's pretty awesome for a while, but it kind of loses it in the third act when the snakes vanish. It was a lot of fun to see in the theater with my drunken friends, though.

Jeff Treppel, Saturday, 16 February 2008 03:35 (eighteen years ago)

Hey guys... SNAKES ON A PLANE!

-- Dom Passantino, Monday, 4 February 2008 10:12 (1 week ago) Link

Alex in Baltimore, Saturday, 16 February 2008 03:53 (eighteen years ago)

nine months pass...

I watched Gunhed again this week. Never realized it was an Alan Smithee movie. Just like Dune! Alan Smithee is great.

TOMBOT, Saturday, 29 November 2008 14:23 (seventeen years ago)

two years pass...

Nathan: Alice, please. Your dog, Alice. It and my appetite are mutually exclusive.
Alice: Well, what's wrong with the dog?
Nathan: Simple. He's been licking his asshole for the last three straight hours. I submit to you that there is nothing there worth more than an hour's attention. I should think that whatever he is attempting to dislodge is either gone for good, or there to stay. Wouldn't you agree?

― nate woolls, Wednesday, January 16, 2008 6:58 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark

sitting here watching this movie and laughing my head off at that line while my wife rolls here eyes

some dude, Thursday, 16 June 2011 00:22 (fourteen years ago)

This poll was correct.

Jeff, Thursday, 16 June 2011 01:06 (fourteen years ago)


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