ROLLING DAVE KITSON THREAD

"I mean, yeah, ILX has these threads about Hilary Clinton, Barack Obama, John McCain, but I look at that lot and say 'Who the fuck are you? I cost £100,000 from Cambridge, I've got a thread as well, you're nothing special'"

It was the thread that actually had to be made

none of those dave kitsons were rolling

Upcoming for Kitson:

England call-up
Top scorer in the Premiership
£17 million move to Inter
#1 single
Ascension to Papal List

http://d.yimg.com/eur.yimg.com/ng/sp/empics/20071007/15/2660364736-soccer-barclays-premier-league-reading-v-derby-county-madjeski-stadium.jpg

"I don't own a car. I refuse to shell out the amount of money for a car that I should be worthy of having at this level. If I spent more than £10,000 on a car, if you could see where I came from, and you could see what my dad is driving around in and you could see my friends who I used to play football with driving around in their Sky vans, it just wouldn't be right. I'm no better than any of those."

I AM A NINJA

http://www.sporting-icons.com/shopmedia/images/22114.jpg

Is that last quote real?

yes, he is actually a ninja

quote is real enough for him to have got done for drink-driving a week after saying it

he's the next roy keane, that much is clear to me now.

“But, look, I walk into our merchandise shop at Reading and I’m amazed at the crud football clubs manage to sell to their fans. Football is a successful business because people are eternally bound to their clubs. And everyone in this game has their hand out, everyone wants to get rich, while the fans just get poorer. They hook you, then they hook your son, and when they’ve got as much from you as they can get, they go to the Far East for more.

It’s like a big trawler, dredging the bottom of the ocean and trying to brand everything in their nets. I will never conform to that. Not in any make, shape or form. The fans at Reading appreciate me and that means a lot. I will try to entertain because I know how much their tickets cost.”

i appreciate the fans at reading, even though they're stupid, not smart like i am.

The only way this can all end is with Kitson refusing an England call-up on the grounds that he doesn't believe in the idea of nation states.

“Macbeth was part of my GCSE English and I got completely wrapped up it, actually learned to recite the entire play from start to finish.”

I'm clever, me!

“Sainsbury’s was the making and breaking of me. I was a very shy kid who found himself at a supermarket which was a playing field for young managers who had either been born with a huge grudge or a small penis because they just wanted to take on their own staff all of the time, while wearing the same black suit every day. We were the lowest of the low, crud on the soles of their shoes and treated accordingly. I had half a brain and gave as good as I got and they hated me for that, absolutely hated me.”

not as much as they hated him for kicking the Iceberg lettuces about.

I never knew he came from Hitchin. He probably went to school with Dog Latin!

Handsome but sounds like a right pain in the ass.

Er. What was the question again?

http://www.foodindustrytechnical.co.uk/images/david_kitson.jpg

David Kitson of Reading Football Club (pictured below with Keith Stevens) selected the winning ticket at their training ground in Finchampstead. Kitson is one of Reading FC’s leading strikers and has been at the premiership club for three seasons.

The prize was ‘Tea for Two’ at The Ritz Hotel, London, donated to Food Industry Technical for their fundraising campaign for Guide Dogs for the Blind.

Kitson pulled out ‘Steve Martin’ from the bucket so congratulations to him.

"I am in a unique position with this colour hair and I have to shake a lot off. If a black player goes out on the pitch and is called something it is racism but if I am called something, I don't see why it isn't the same?

When the whole ground is shouting something derogatory, then is that okay?

It seems to be a bit two faced and up in Stoke it was pretty horrendous."

"It amazes me how nobody has addressed it before," said the striker, a £150,000 signing from Cambridge in December 2003.

"You put on a brave face but sometimes you come off the pitch feeling so empty when you have lost and you take a lot of stick.

"Just because I am a footballer doesn't mean someone can call me a ginger whatever. I am a sensitive guy, maybe over sensitive, but abuse doesn't just roll off my back.

I would rather change everyone else before I change myself."

I am in a unique position with this colour hair

the most demonstrably false statement I have read today.

PFA boss Gordon Taylor has told him to toughen up. Taylor said: "It belittles racism to compare the two issues. It is just an opportunity for someone to have a go in same way as if you are bald or fat.

"Dave should be proud of his hair. It makes him stand out if he is having a good game and he could always dye it if he wants."

Simon Cheetham, who chairs Red and Proud, said: "I have no sympathy for Dave Kitson. I think he should get a grip on himself and stop whingeing. I have to say he comes across as slightly pathetic, a ginger whinger.

"Come on, everyone with red hair gets some stick. Okay, so I have never had 20,000 people shout at me, but we just get on with it.

"He should be proud of having a red head and moaning about abuse is not doing us redheads any favours."

(only time gordon taylor ever criticised a footballer?)

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/reading/article2848048.ece?token=null&offset=12

(was offline when i searched earlier)

One Christmas, the shy teenager rebelled. Working a late shift, he found himself in the big staffroom, where there was a white-board for employees to write their suggestions. His gripe was the awful food the staff were forced to eat, an injustice highlighted by the excellent quality of the special Christmas dinner. Kitson took the pen in his hand.

“Why,” he wrote, “when the rest of us are slugging our guts out for peanuts, does the company deem it fit to give bonuses and presents to people for cooking one decent meal per year.” He came in the next morning to find three middle-aged ladies, friends and contemporaries of the female chef, gazing at his message. Two of them were crying. A young manager pinned a notice under the message appealing for people to sign a petition asking for the culprit to be named and kicked out of Sainsbury’s. Everyone was signing it.

Kitson needed his job, he got his friends to sign the petition, he signed the petition, but after a few days, everyone knew he was the bad guy. “What I wrote was what an angry 18-year-old would write, a bit stupid and if I’d have had any bollocks, I would have signed it. But it was strange, when people realised I was the guy who wrote the bad stuff, they were wary of me. I was ‘trouble’, but there was also a respect for me that wasn’t there before.

“The lady who did the cooking would never serve me after that, turned her back when I was around, but the whole episode changed my life. From then on, I’ve said what’s on my mind and I don’t accept the bulls***. Not from anybody. I had it at Sainsbury’s and only when I stood up for myself did I feel free.”

http://img.skysports.com/07/10/218x298/Steve_Coppell_580023.jpg

Ha ha, done it again y'all

i'd leave cambridge for well under £100,000 if anyone's bidding.

hahahahahahah all this time i thought rob them was making all this shit up

http://i234.photobucket.com/albums/ee196/Gotterdun59/Rob_4.jpg

Dude's got a glittering career ahead of him at Stoke, I wouldn't worry about that.

Next Leicester boss, obviously.

Survival? He couldn't even spell it.

Dean Kiely: "I've gotta say, that is absolutely awful form from Dave Kitson"

bring back dj martian

PLANK raven himself is hoarse
that croaks the fatal entrance of KITSON
under my SYSTEMS THINKING

is this a clogger I see before me etc

btw rtc that is beautiful and I commend thee

Moving *to* Portsmouth? Good-looking loner who plays by his own rules

If one of the lads has a new watch I'll try it on and then say, 'have it back'. If someone's got a new car, I might have a little sit in it

I literally never understood the respect for this man until now

hahahaha is that a direct quote

if he saves them from relegation he is 2011 SPOTY

i forgot they were playing leicester tonight

holy shit

hollllld on didn't leicester win this exact same fixture 2-1 in the cup 3 days ago?

LOL yes they did!!

Good lord.

Sheffield United striker Dave Kitson has admitted he is still affected by the hurt of being relegated from the top flight with Reading five years ago.

"It was an absolutely horrendous time, I'll never get over it because it nearly cost me everything," he said.

"You are responsible for people losing their jobs and you are coming into training in your nice car and you see people carrying boxes of their possessions out. You just think, 'I did that, that's my fault'.

he doesn;t gaf about all the luxury watch employees tho, a little education is a dangerous thing etc etc

"I am in a unique position with this colour hair and I have to shake a lot off. If a black player goes out on the pitch and is called something it is racism but if I am called something, I don't see why it isn't the same?

When the whole ground is shouting something derogatory, then is that okay?

It seems to be a bit two faced and up in Stoke it was pretty horrendous."

― r|t|c, Monday, 28 January 2008 17:39 (5 years ago)

PAY DAVE

http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/sport/pompey/player-by-player-breakdown-of-what-pompey-owe-1-5468027

"dave kitson" "secret footballer"
About 2,300 results (0.24 seconds)

http://daveboyle.net/football-3/secret-footballer-following-trail/

http://www.whoisthesecretfootballer.co.uk/dave-kitson/

http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/sport/pompey/kitson-to-go-the-distance-for-new-book-1-3026897

They say write about what you know and I guess you’d call it semi-autobiographical, if that is not being too pompous. There is a lot of my life in there but I would probably write it under a pseudonym.

amanda palmer

Giving it the biggun on Twitter about our pitch. Bring it, Dave.

he has finally retired after an inauspicious season at my local club Oxford United:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/28419253

wonder what he'll do next? I really can't see him in management or media work, can you?

Back in the provisions dept at j sainsburies, stacking milk and juice again or the autodidact he dreamt he was writing garbage. Who fucking cares?

CAFC forum in raptures about his FLS performance, admittedly after we've had to bear Claridge for so long

it's sad he was a racist

Kitson is the new manager of Nauru!