how do u go about getting laid?

I ring up your mom.

u must have a PHONE CARD then cuz she lives overseas

...

i expect an answer from you wanko

I do have a phone card. And plenty of "frequent flier" miles.

wanko wanks it okay xp

Surm, you're very cute -- there's no reason you couldn't give some guy a chubb.

SEAFOOD AND DRUGS

http://i26.tinypic.com/ipnwx4.jpg

well that's one way of doin it

what's a chubb? does that mean a hardon or something?

I DON'T GET LAID :(

Most of the coke users I've met are shellfish...

the first time I got laid I was on coke

white powder, clam chowder, same difference

and the sex was awful

that sucks

makes you awful crabby on the comedown

latebloomer, this is not the "write additional lyrics to white lines thread"

Bass!

as in the fish

the cloverfield monster was DRUGS

Something like a phenomenon, turn your haddock to come along

Simple formula for getting laid:

1. Try to get laid.
2. If 1. fails, lower standards.
3. Return to 1.

yup sounds right to me

You have to create opportunities where you can subtly talk to someone without it feeling like you're chatting them up!

This means thinking of 'approach scenarios' rather than just chat-up lines. Create a situation where you can start a conversation and be adventurous in the way you go about it. It doesn't have to be in a bar, party or club, supermarkets are also ideal places to meet people.

Make sure you're looking good; prepare yourself as if you are going out (dress accordingly, even if it's only a supermarket you still want to look the business).

Choose a trolley rather than a basket as this offers you more mobility. Scrutinise the trolleys and baskets of fellow shoppers - when you notice the frozen meal for one or a lone bottle of chardonnay make your approach.

The wine section is always a good choice. Ice breakers you could use are: "Excuse me, sorry to interrupt but I'm cooking pasta tonight and only usually drink white wine - my guests are all into red, can you recommend something?" or "Excuse me (again 'sorry to interrupt' shows good manners, another attractive quality) I wonder if you can help me, I know nothing about white wine could you recommend something to go with salmon steaks?".

Now you have instigated the conversation, the wheels are in motion!

YOU BETTA SAVE SOME OF DAT TOIKEY FOR ME

http://www.nydailynews.com/blogs/ilovetowatch/images/mystery.jpg

You have to create opportunities where you can subtly talk to someone without it feeling like you're chatting them up!

This means thinking of 'approach scenarios' rather than just chat-up lines. Create a situation where you can start a conversation and be adventurous in the way you go about it. It doesn't have to be in a bar, party or club, supermarkets are also ideal places to meet people.

Make sure you're looking good; prepare yourself as if you are going out (dress accordingly, even if it's only a supermarket you still want to look the business).

Choose a trolley rather than a basket as this offers you more mobility. Scrutinise the trolleys and baskets of fellow shoppers - when you notice the frozen meal for one or a lone bottle of chardonnay make your approach.

The wine section is always a good choice. Ice breakers you could use are: "Excuse me, sorry to interrupt but I'm cooking pasta tonight and only usually drink white wine - my guests are all into red, can you recommend something?" or "Excuse me (again 'sorry to interrupt' shows good manners, another attractive quality) I wonder if you can help me, I know nothing about white wine could you recommend something to go with salmon steaks?".

Now you have instigated the conversation, the wheels are in motion!

-- Mystery, Sunday, February 3, 2008 2:46 AM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

http://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/singles_and_dating/techniques_chattingup.shtml

"Choose a trolley rather than a basket as this offers you more mobility. Scrutinise the trolleys and baskets of fellow shoppers - when you notice the frozen meal for one or a lone bottle of chardonnay make your approach."

http://bp1.blogger.com/_5p3ywQwfWjI/Rs0TQbU9YjI/AAAAAAAAB1M/nWNgz-0W7XU/s400/220px-ted-bundy-4-tm.jpg

"lone bottle of chardonnay" = single?

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/0/0c/Phil_Collins_EasyLover.jpg

hold her hand, and tell her shes pretty. that u wanna make sweet love, not fuck her. that should(nt) work. if it does....thats your girl

NEVER SAY "MAKE SWEET LOVE" TO ANYONE EVER

or try to follow through on ^

http://blog.wired.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/05/31/happy_monopoly.gif

^^^^ be this guy

gotta be like adam beales and make it known.

Toikey for me
Save all your toikey for me

I heard a song on the Urban Lounge show, college radio, yesterday. I think it was called 'Joy'.

The lyrics we're something like 'love is timeless.. something something kindness.. it only takes a moment to show you care'. Anyways, it sounded like a good rnb song, it made me think about taking initiative on stupid little moments just to show you care. I bet that goes a long way.

Then there is Boomhower's approach he was teaching Bobby Hill at the shoe store. Talk up every girl until one of them actually is flattered. This would work at a bar, and maybe even internet flirt sites.

Basically, initiative is the best thing, it's the only way to meet people. Now, if only I would let myself meet strangers once in a while.

As with the well-known recipe for roasted suckling pig, the first line of which is "First, obtain a suckling pig...", the only trick is finding someone who wants to give you a lay. After that, you can coast.

"Talk up every girl until one of them actually is flattered. This would work at a bar..."

I think if a girl sees you going around chatting up half the club she's going to be less than impressed.

Don't let her see.

If you want to have plenty of unsatisfying casual sex with people who lie about their age and weight, I would certainly suggest Manhunt.

Is that why it got banned in the UK?

http://arianeb.com/dategame.htm

yeah it was hurting the business for Tiger Tiger xpost

This thread has not lived up to its potential.

Well, libcrypt kind of said it all. If all you want is to get some, come hell or highwater, then just drop your standards massively, put yourself out there, and ta-da, laid.

That guy that grady posted ("Mystery," I guess) has the worst goatee I've ever seen.

Surmounter, you are something else.

the real trick is getting the other person to lower her/his standards enough.

i would suggest wearing a "fucking the sadness away" t-shirt semi-ironically when you're out for the night. you can be all "lol the post-modern condition" and stuff but it gets the truth up in their subconscious like george's "Ca-STAN-Za!" gambit. i don't think this is necessarily a good idea but it's an idea i'd like to see someone else attempt.

I'm a really good dancer and I say one enigmatic thing.

It doesn't need to make sense, it just needs to sound profound to another drunk person.

<3

(Surm: It's not all right, but it's also not exactly news, nor the reason why I'm cranky. Thanks.)

fuck ikr what about me WHAT ABOUT ME

I imagine if you're a woman getting laid is infinitely easier than if you're a man.

xpost fuck you, too.

Oh damnit, joke ruined. That doesn't wprk as an xpost.

Honestly if you're a girl I think the categoric answer is "look drunk and act available". Whether you feel good about that method once you sober up is your own Points to Ponder.

Adam Bruneau that was an interesting insight

I have a couple of female friends (straight) who are very attractive and by all rights should have all the male attention they could want, but they are perpetually in a dry spell. They either don't meet men, or they can't seem to steer things toward sex. And that's just my current female friends.

having standards will do that

Once someone told me maybe a reason I was "in a dry spell" for over half of college was that "I kind of thought maybe you were gay, maybe that scared guys off." That surprised me! He couldn't tell me *why*, I think maybe it had to do with being shy at the time when it came to flirting but not, say, arguing about politics.

xpost haha i think the "lower them" advice was upthread

Adam Bruneau that was an interesting insight

― Matt P, Thursday, October 9, 2008 3:32 PM (58 minutes ago) Bookmark

I blame society!

that's always the easy way out!

I basically think now, if I'm single for a while, then it's time to go do some exercise or read a book or basically stop thinking about it. Once you start thinking "oh fuck I'm single" things are bad.

Of course if I did what I rationally reasoned I needed to do I wouldn't be sitting on this RED COUCH drinking from a WHITE CUP.

once you start feeling happy being single it is very liberating

as long as its not denial

and that's inevitably when you meet the dude of your dreams and don't get to be single anymore :(

RIP my awesome period of indulgent singledom 07/01/2003-11/21/2003

Sometimes that period goes on too long.

i'm happy being single now but i think i've forgotten what it's like to be in a relationship

what do you mean "unless it's denial"?

What it is about BEING SINGLE and/or LIVING ALONE that is so ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC!

I'M SO HAPPY I'M GOING TO FUCKING CRY

Woman, 105, links her age to walking - and no sex

Surely a quick one now wouldn't hurt?

well you're welcome to her

I fear she might die before I could get there.

adds to the thrill tho

http://img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/2008/10/oldvirginSW_450x350.jpg

Hello boys.

"I imagine there is a lot of hassle involved..."

of course, at 105 you can't have sex and walk after, so it's a clear choice.

massage after a shower is a good way to get laid, but getting them to the shower stage is, i'll admit, the tricky part.

Remind me never to give you a job in a nursing home.

Yeah dude, they have stairlifts now.

uh, i should point out that those were two separate statements.

It's just attention whoring. I bet she had loads of sex about 85 years ago, but nobody's going do prove her wrong, are they?

(Or maybe she just forgot?)

Oh God, the ignominy! Imagine being so senile you don't remember fucking!

How (in practical terms) is that different from being so drunk you don't remember fucking?

I have never been that drunk (and trust me, I've been rather drunk in my time).

when you're that old. . . who cares???

I certainly will.

I suppose I'd care if age causes penile brittleness; being old and incontinent is embarrassing enough without having to howl about how you don't know how you broke your dick.

take it to TMI, grandpa!

The wine section is always a good choice. Ice breakers you could use are: "Excuse me, sorry to interrupt but I'm cooking pasta tonight and only usually drink white wine - my guests are all into red, can you recommend something?" or "Excuse me (again 'sorry to interrupt' shows good manners, another attractive quality) I wonder if you can help me, I know nothing about white wine could you recommend something to go with salmon steaks?".

Now you have instigated the conversation, the wheels are in motion!

-- Mystery, Sunday, February 3, 2008 2:46 AM (8 minutes ago)

If the answer happens to involve the words "fava" and "Chianti", consider the possibility of letting it go at that and spending the night alone

I HOPE YOU SAVED SOME TURKEY FOR ME

lol I forgot about the saving turkey line

The wine section is always a good choice. Ice breakers you could use are: "Excuse me, sorry to interrupt but I'm cooking pasta tonight and I'm hung like a horse - my guests are a bunch of prudes, you want some action?" or "Excuse me (again 'sorry to interrupt' shows good manners, another attractive quality) I wonder if you can help me, I'm going to burst any minute here, I don't think anybody'll see us over behind the Toad Hollow display. Whaddaya say?"

Now you have instigated the conversation, the wheels are in motion!

fixed

I was off a couple Thursday nights ago, and went to the gay bar about 1 a.m., where within an hour two men (one particularly attractive) pretty much walked up to me and stuck their tongues in my mouth. No actual sex ensued, but it could have.

So, timing for maximum drunkenness and demand (late weeknights) works with the fags.

At what point do you start feeling like you're using people as masturbatory aids?

They're top of that line, some of them.

i don't!

:^(