What the heck kinds of things am I supposed to say in a scholarship application essay?

I obtain much hardship

srsly, you seem pretty bright, is this for grad school?

No, this is for undergrad (and thanks!). There's one from the Howard Hughes Medical Institute, and that'll be easy, I just have to talk to professors and find six who may be willing to adopt me for reasearch; I have four who have been like "WHY haven't you applied yet?" So that one sounds way fun (it's more of a research grant than a scholarship) and I'm not worried about it.

Then there is a general scholarship app. My school did a very nice thing and combined all the 300+ offered scholarships into one application (with some fun questions like "Was your great-aunt ever a Dona Ana County chile farmer?" and such). So this one app is filtered for the scholarships I do match, and is then looked at by the people who award each scholarship.

These essays always seemed like the written version of a Masonic handshake to me. This is the first time in my life I've actually been encouraged & made aware of scholarships/opportunities by advisers & profs. And I know there are people who charge to advise freshman on "the ways and means of how to obtain scholar $$$" so in my mind it is a l33t secret! Maybe I am just scaring myself & selling myself short here? I just don't know what to write!

For the 'what you plan to do with the funds', maybe give a bit of a breakdown of where the funds will be going (what proportion on books, how much approximately on tuition) just to show you know the value of money & look prudent & organised.
Wouldn't linger on the past too much in the 'deserve' question (though I do not know your singular life); having worked hard to overcome disadvantages is very good thing to show, but also place emphasis on why you're a good gamble: industrious, committed, level-headed with a clear plan that this money will help fulfill.
Just use the money q's as an opportunity to present your most boring side, basically: try to appeal to bureaucrats and accountants.
Apols if obvious. Good luck.

URGENT AND CONFIDENTIAL ASSISTANCE .

You may be surprised to receive this letter from me since you do not
know mepersonally.I got your contact through the NETHERLANDS CHAMBER OF
COMMERCE AND INDUSTRY, hence i took the initiative of writing you.
Please accept my apology for intruding into your privacy or for any
inconvineces that my letter might caused.

I am LESLIE MUSHASHA, the son of MAWA MUSHASHA, one of the few black
farmers in Zimbabwe who was recently murdered in the land dispute in
Zimbabwe.

This land problem arose when the Zimbabwean President Mr. Robert Mugabe
introduced a new Land Act Reform wholly affecting the rich white farmers
and some few black farmers, and this caused a rampage and indiscriminate
killing by some Zimbabwean war veterans and street urchins in the
society,as a result of this a lot of people were killed and my father
happened to be one of them.It is against this background that my family
and I fled Zimbabwe for fear of our lives and out of fear of been sent
to one of Mugabe's military camp against our will by Mugabe's militial
men and inventually turtured and kill that we decided to seek asylum in
the Netherlands where we are currently staying as political refugee.

Before the death of my father, he deposited with a security company here
in the NETHERLANDS the sum of US $ 18.6 million Dollars (Eighteen
million,Six Hundred thousand United dollars) and I am his next of Kin
which is the more reason why my wife and myself have choosen to seek
asylum here in the Neherlands to futher enable us to lay claim to this
funds. This money was deposited by my father in a box as family
valuables to avoid much demurrage and sundry charges from the security
company. This money according to my father was meant for the purchase of
new machines and chemicals for the Farms and also the establishment of
new farms in Swaziland.

My family and I have decided to seek for a viable partner that will help
us to invest this funds profitably in a viable business venture since
the law of Netherlands prohibits anyone applying for refugee status ( or
seeking asylum) to open any bank account or be involved in any financial
transaction throughout the territorial zone of The Netherlands,until
such time as the application is deemed successful or granted by the
Relevant Dutch Authorities. I am saddled with the responsibility of
seeking a bussiness partner who will front for us and take charge of
this funds. The dutch authority are not aware that we have such funds
with the security company and we intend to keep this as top secret as it
will affect our asylum status. please note that this transaction is 100%
risk free as I am in possesion of all the relevant document relating to
the funds. i.e THE CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT AND PERSONAL IDENRIFICATION
CODE OF THE FUNDS. Please be inform at this stage that my family and I
have also decided to give you 25% of the tottal funds for your
assistance and 70% will be invested for us in any profitable business
that you think is viable and 5% will be for any cost incurred in the
cause of this transaction. please note that if this percentage is not
agreeable to you we are still open to suggestion and further discussion.
If you accept to assist me and my family please contact me through this
e-mail adress lesliemusha✧✧✧@netsc✧✧✧.n✧✧ immidiately for more
comprehensive details.

Thanking you in anticipation of your co-operation.

Yours Sincerely,
LESLIE MUSHASHA.

Oh no way! I had no idea to go for obvious in such an obvious way. I like your suggestions and your style, very much thanks. (My coworker and I were joking that the essay should say, "Definitely NOT for an HDTV, some spinners, and drugs."

haha xp

This is the email John just sent me:

IMPORTNAT NEWS ABOUT CONSALADATING YOUR PENIS ENLARGEMENT WINNINGS FROM SCOTTISH LOTTERY!!!

Inbox X

Reply to all
Forward
Reply by chat
Filter messages like this
Print
Add to Contacts list
Delete this message
Report phishing
Report not phishing
Show original
Show in fixed width font
Show in variable width font
Message text garbled?
Why is this spam/nonspam?
Translate this message
John Spaeth
My friend ABBIGYAILE, I am Nigerian Prince. Because this of fact, I think it ...

9:37 AM (1 hour ago)
John SpaethLoading...
9:37 AM (1 hour ago)
John Spaeth to me

show details 9:37 AM (1 hour ago)



Reply


My friend ABBIGYAILE,

I am Nigerian Prince. Because this of fact,
I think it best for me to not go at Math Class
I have on this night.

Also because Substitution v. Elimination are
only topics to be covered.

So I will not be needing help form you to
get home late, around 7, this night. Please to be
not library going, Zuhl will be empty of me.

LOVE,

Nabutu Garu Ubuntu "Dr. Bones" Zareeqtanoiux

hooboy I fucked that one up something grand.

ABBIGYAILE.

First, before you sit down to write, tell yourself that, by god, you're plenty good enough and people like you! That's why you'll do a great job on the pplaication. (But use a legal pad to write your drafts, not the blank application.)

Be clear. Be intelligent. Don't be too coy or cute. Think a while before you commit to paper, then say just what you think in the your most engaging style. If a question presents a problem, because of its phrasing or inaptness to your situation, mention this and explain the nature of the problem briefly, before you go ahead and answer it as best you can. This will show your thinking process. They should like that.

Don't agonize after perfection; chances are you won't get there and agony is the wrong way to achieve it anyway. After you've done what you can, cast it upon the waters and it will come back to you.