I want to write a song

befriend a famous band/singer

then find a way to blackmail them into performing your horrible song

After you get banned here, read Bill Drummond's book.

lock yourself in a room with a synthesizer and space brownies for 5 days

Pay me $500,000 upfront to write the hit song and give it to the right people. Later, when I get the check for over $1 million dollars, I will send it over to you. You'll end up making at least $500,00o yourself, without having to do anything at all!

Jim, perform my woeful new song or I'll spill the beans about....

Study a ton of other popular songs and figure out what makes them tick. Think about possible song hooks, song topics, lyrics, instrumentation for many hours of every day. Listen carefully to how people talk and mine their words and emotions for possible songs. Think about your experiences as if you were going to sing about them.

Then, when you finally have something you think people will latch onto, learn the business of selling songs, while of course continuing to write more of them that you think might sell. Then, eventually, get a lucky break. Maybe.

I think this is how most people do it. Feel free to experiment with lazy ways, though. Can't hurt, can it?

http://www.amazon.com/Song-Man-Adventure-Single-minded-Songwriting/dp/0306815818/ref=pd_bbs_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1203393260&sr=8-1

cannot recommend this book enuf, seriously.

Also, non-snarkily would re-recommend the Bill Drummond book.

^^^last two OTM thanks

land a helicopter on Johnny Cash's lawn

I kind of want to spend a summer trying to do this with my crack songwriting team:

1) wife, a rhetoric prof
2) brother-in-law, a philosophy prof
3) his wife, masters in child psych
4) me, no real applicable schooling

I also know a couple of music professors, but they're a bit weak on the pop end of music.

I imagine spending a summer holed up in my mother-in-law's beach house with a casio keyboard and lots of booze and cranking out a colossally huge shitty novelty song that everyone knows and and everyone seems to hate, but nevertheless gets used in a shitload of movie trailers and tv commercials.

novelty songs == big, spewing pot of gold

yeah my friend wants to go down to the tv stations in atlanta and make $1500 by playing bass that could be used in commercials.

me, I want to write a great song and become the head of a fan club for coldplay or something so they actually might listen to me. or I'll just accidentally bump into a nice celebrity on the rise.

with rappers, it's possible that I could make a beat and be entitled to royalties on that. possibly

oh yeah, definitely possible, what with rappers

My bf comes home from work and writes Autechre-quality (shut up, shut up) songs like, 3 times a week. I wanna kill him.

sounds cool to me

My girlfriend comes home, makes me dinner, plays video games and begs me for 10 minutes of mindless sex. I wanna kill her.

CaptainLoirax

what's going on here

My girlfriend comes home, makes me dinner, plays video games and begs me for 10 minutes of mindless sex. I wanna kill her.

-- CaptainLorax, Tuesday, February 19, 2008 12:18 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I think you have the germ of a song right there.

I want to lock a thread

What video games?

http://www.norfolk.gov/WalkOfFame/images/njohnson.jpg
You take some music, music
Sweet flowin' music
Some movin' and groovin'
Rock and roll will stand

i wrote a song this evening. its about being a true bro and not giving up.

(I almost posted a link to Hurting's old "Bass Player Wanted" ad on ILM, but I figure that position has already been filled)

But there's always this thread: I accidentally joined an emo band and went to practise tonight

For more actual advice about the songwriting process, you could do worse than go here:

Together, We Write Lyrics For An Album!

intro - introduce yourself
chorus - 8 bars
verse - 8 to 16 bars
breakdown - DO YO THING

instant hit.

i want to write a zing.