lolinjury register

1. yesterday I burned my thumb on a steering wheel

okay, I know john justen and sunny successor have gilded lols for this thread.

i don't know where to start

Do you have a lemon-in-shower incident? Start with that.

I think I mentioned on ILTRMB that I was chuckling at pretty much the entire crashes thread until that one dude's brain almost fell out

I've talked about the time a jellyfish zapped me wedding tackle in the gulf of mexico somewhere before

Burn my tongue on coffee every day without fail. Even lab rats learn when they're gonna get hurt, ffs.

4. developed testicular torsion whilst watching Charles in Charge

5. hit myself in the face with a phone cause i was distracted by my boss's thong.

6. held my breath for a lark, passed out, smashed my head on a table

xp I would pay a significant price for video footage of that moment

o you have a lemon-in-shower incident? Start with that.

-- Autumn Almanac, Tuesday, February 19, 2008 6:55 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

summer '06

in the shower, holding a bottle of Dr Bronner's (<--- which is concentrate). hands are soapy, it slips and falls. i am quick, and bend to catch it while it is falling (lol reflexes). it hits the ground and bounces perfectly, directly back towards my face. the impact shoots a jet of concentrated vegan soap directly into my eye.

the pain is so intense that i literally collapse to the ground immediately. like a ton of bricks. writhing in the shower, wailing (no one was home thank god), all one or none.

8. fell on my ass in the shower because the cat jumped on me

i was boiling some water in a kettle on our stovetop to make coffee. i take the kettle off the burner and notice that the metal ring that you sit pans on over the flame isn't it its little notches. so i move it back into the notches. as i'm doing so, i remember that i had just been boiling water on that burner and that the ring is incredibly hot. scorched the shit out of my thumb and fingertip.

that's the one thing that's kind of cool about electric vs. gas, electric heating elements give you a nice visual cue as to what's hot and what's not

After getting less than 3 hours sleep one morning, nodded off just for a second in the shower, slipped and cut my head on the faucet. Worst start to the day ever.

damn dude

i have lost count of the number of times i've dislodged my brain by hitting the back my head against an open cabinet

Or on the freezer door.

A couple of years ago while playing a game of tag I jumped to avoid the person that was "it" and heard a strange popping sound which turned out to be the noise my Achilles tendon makes when it tears in half and shoots up into my leg.

one morning after fishing my contact out of the it's little holder I decide to give it an extra squirt of saline before inserting it. except I accidentally grab the peroxide-like overnight super-soaker solution (I'm extremely near-sighted) and douse it in that. i immediately realize my mistake when it feels like a hundred bees are stinging my eye. I'm literally on the floor writhing in pain as I try to reach for the saline to flush it out... and of course I end up GRABBING THE SAME BOTTLE AND HOSE MY EYE ALL OVER AGAIN! Holy fuck, it sucked.

Did a policeman walk in and say 'what's all this then?'

Was perving on a cute guy when I was about 17, walking down the street, and I walked face first into a pole, total Bridget Jones style. Ow.

More recently, after a combination of not eating all day and indulging in a bit of wacky tabacky, I had a sudden drop of blood pressure while standing in the kitchen and apparently (I dont remember this bit) staggered out into the hall and then keeled over, hitting my forehead on the door jamb on the way down and cutting my head open (and knocking myself unconcious).

Lucky I wasn't home alone when that happened heh.

Did a policeman walk in and say 'what's all this then?'

I'm assuming that's a ref to a wacky Brit comedy? cause, yeah, it was a lot like that!

okay, I know john justen and sunny successor have gilded lols for this thread.

-- Autumn Almanac, Tuesday, February 19, 2008 6:51 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

Alright, I posted this on another thread but here it is again: a few weeks ago I tripped over a baby gate and fell ear first into the sharp square metal part of our dog bowl stand while my feet were still tangled up in the top of the gate. So, I was lying there on the floor with half a bowl of skanky dog spag water in my hair and blood filling up my ear but my in-laws were on their way over so I got up, stuck a cotton ball in my ear and vacuumed the floor. IM SUCH A GOOD WIFEY:

http://img212.imageshack.us/img212/4319/earouchab8.jpg

Not pictured: bruises on arm, ribs, thigh

wau

holy shit!
did it heal back together? i hope you've recovered and are okay!

lol @ dog's gross bowl tho, oh man
also lol @ will
and lol @ gbx (still laughing)
prob lol @ whole thread. where are the balls-injury stories? b/c i will prob laugh my head off at those too, i'm just gonna admit it

that post is visually awesome

i once dropped my hand into my lap with great force and was in tears from OMG MY BALLS THEY HURT

which i suppose is only wtf insofar as "wtf how do you hurt yr nuts from just putting your hand in your lap"

oh i've totally punched myself in the face just putting on my backpack

BALLS-INJURY STORY

I was skating in Melbourne with 2934875398574 other people (City Skate). We all skated down a hill toward Wellington Parade and the Fitzroy Gardens. The lights changed just after everyone else got through but just before I got there, so I grabbed the traffic light pole to stop myself. Being on skates, my legs went either side of the pole and I smashed my gonads at 50km/h.

daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn

maybe not the pain level of balls (which i can only imagine) but still. socially prob worse b/c people really notice when you almost ko yourself.
xpost
ahahaohno!

it's not so much the immediate pain signals in the brain as the weeklong urghlyasdg

pro: it was dark
con: it was on a busy junction in the freaking cbd

There's also a BALLS-INJURY STORY concerning horse-riding but it's not nearly as interesting.

oh and the whole watermelon-sized testicle thing upthread

i don't have children

The other day I got a really tiny shard of glass in the bottom of my foot. Which isn't that stupid in itself, but I couldn't get the damned thing out. It stayed there for a day and a half and was just painful enough to walk on that I had to limp around.

I finally wound up having to go to the doctor just to get this little shard out. It took the doctor about 60 seconds, and when I came back out the nurse was all "that's it?"

-- Hurting 2, Wednesday, 20 February 2008 16:28 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

i think that happens to people all the time - and they don't go to the doctor and they get major infections! feet are important!
but yeah, i always think they're going to say that - "you came to the doctor for THAT?" sneer - i have a couple of scars that i'm sure could've been avoided
i should probably just learn how to do stitches

i have a piece of glass stuck in my foot RIGHT NOW!
xpost

NO WAI!

seriously. damn thing has been there for at least two days

i tried to dig it out but i can't

yeah I tried to dig mine out too. I wasn't shy with the sharp tweezers either but just couldn't get it. It did feel awesome when she finally got it out.

Adding insult to injury, mine was from the coffeemaker carafe I had just broken

i've been on a glass breaking spree lately myself. breaking all kinds of shit around here. glass is my enemy these days

a veritable domestic krystalnacht

Three times now I've really hurt fingers on my left hand in my kitchen:

1) Mandolin falls off of shelf, blade hits left pinkie finger and shears nail clean off. Bleed lots. No ER, fixed at home.

2) Post-yoga, kind of spacey, on phone with father, prepping dinner but not actually cutting anything, and somehow my heavy chef knife and index finger cross paths. Clean slice, lots of bleeding, first ever ER trip, six stitches. My fingerprint doesn't line up anymore.

3) Two days ago, cutting cabbage, being sloppy, had a moment of "oh, I'm about to cut right into my finger" an instant before I did. This time I cut the index fingernail off. Bled a lot, sat for a while, ended up at ER though I knew they couldn't stitch it. They have coagulents though. Fingernail probably saved me from seriously cutting deep into my finger though.

The best part was coming home and realizing that there was a small blood trail up the cabinets and onto the ceiling as I jerked before running to the sink.

Yeesh.

lolololo OW OW OW lolololo @ AA's BALLS-injury story.

I am majorly injury-prone.

2 years ago, I fell down a flight of steps at a restaurant and bruised my coccyx bone. My ass literally hurt for three weeks - it was so fucking painful even to sit down. To make matters worse, the reason I was at the restaurant in the first place was because my dance team were celebrating the end of our annual production. I survived a year of rehearsals and a week of performances without so much as a strained muscle (everyone else was nursing sprained ankles and bleeding feet) and right at the end, I go and fall on my butt.

Also, this:
EMERGENCY!

aaaaah both those lololo should've been lololol. or maybe just rofl. :D

I got nothin'. I thought I was clumsy but I'm feeling pretty good about myself right now.

A couple of years ago I got sawdust in my eye, scratched my cornea and got a prescription for five vicodin. Only needed one for the actual discomfort before it healed.

when i was about 22, i was in edinburgh with my girlfriend and some friends. we went to the castle like you do when you're an edinburgh tourist. i had been there a few years before too. so we're walking around and end up in this one room with an interior window (HEWN into the BLACK ROCK) that looks into another room next door. and looking at the window i get this sort of sense of deja vu dread, like there's something kinda disturbing about the window. i thought that maybe i was remembering from my previous visit that there was like a torture rack or something in the next room. so i go and poke my head through the window (which is a bit of a feat, because the wall is about a foot thick so i have to stick my head well in). but all i see on the other side is a sort of bare room, nothing sinister at all. so i kind of mentally shrug to myself and start to stand up and WHAM mash the top of my head into the rock because i had not sufficiently withdrawn my head from the very deep window opening. it hurts a lot, and while i'm standing there holding my head and trying not to moan too loud or pitiably, i remember why the window seemed sinister to me: because i did the EXACT SAME THING two years before! edinburgh castle 2, me 0.

hundreds of old / crap / promo CDs stashed on high shelf in closet + sudden desire to hear random label sampler from 1996 = landslide of approximately two dozen pointy jewel cases onto the top of my head, complete with broken skin

tipsy's story works as an excellent satire of david lynch's last two movies.

On a boating holiday 18 months ago I managed to cut my scalp open on the low doorframe no less than 5 times.

Cut thumb open on that plastic sticky-out bit at the top of an ethernet cable

I've only just realised this: Every serious medical complaint I've ever had (but one) has been to do with my rude bits.

My first year in college (lol college) I got really drunk and fell off this thing:

http://www.gocolumbiamo.com/ParksandRec/Images/Parks/capenview.jpg

It was my first "college" party and I was trying to prove that I could drink with the big boys. This guy named Steve was beer bonging Jack Daniels. When I was nice and nearly blacked out they decided to take us on a nature walk in the middle of the night. I didn't even know there was a cliff there, so I was just dangling my feet off the edge. I fell off a slightly less dangerous part of the cliff where it was more like 4 or 5 drops of 15 feet or so each.

lol

the fuck