Tell Me What To Buy (March)

Hip-hop CD: "Tha streetz iz a mutha"-Kurupt

Mr Internet Analyst you must be aware of this easyValue.com CD price comparison so use it !

I could be naughty and suggest G-Sides (tee-hee!) but yr probably better off settling for the "new" N.E.R.D. album, maybe.

rap cd : biggie - ready to die (not maybe my first choice for tom but i know this'll get four more votes quick)

Rap CD: Very impressed with mr. Bourke's choice, and I second it loudly....."Trylogy" still gets much play in this household - perhaps one of the most intense songs ever recorded, period.

? Never heard of him until now!

I have a longstanding fondness for Caleb Carr's The Alienist, which is savage social critique and distinctly *non*-rose-colored- glasses vision of turn of the previous century NYC dressed up as mystery and costume drama.

Well, that probably DOES speak volumes about Lethem's sf reputation anyhow! :)

does anyone know whether horace mccoy wrote anything else good? and whether that's the author's name?

CD: "Stankonia"---OutKast

Definitely worthy to a gal who hadn't listened to rap since the ripe old age of 10.

Novel: "2nd Chance" (James Patterson)

I'm halfway through it already. It features a brainy protagonist, who happens to be female. I've never really been a mystery reader, but love this one!

The closest thing I've read to a crime novel in ages is "I'm Off" by Jean Echenoz. Good, though.

- anything by George P Pelecanos especially THE BIG BLOWDOWN.

- La Donna Detroit by Jon a Jackson.

- Of Tender Sin by David Goodis.

- Blue Eyes by Jerome Chaykin.

- MURDER ME DEAD by DAVID LAPHAM - comic - now out in graphic novel. BUY THIS NOW Y'ALL. It's as good a piece of modern noir trash as all of the above, but it's got pitchers so yer brain don't have to work as hard!

CD

- Blood Stained Lovers by The Folk Orchestraor

- Mum and Dad's debut album, out soon. can't remember title as I only have a CDR promo.

Crime: Well I've recently enjoyed The Skull Mantra by Elliot Pattison - a good dissection of modern Chinese/Tibettan politics with a distinctly Buddhist slant whilst containing a rollicking good set of ritual murders. Everyone should give it a go (and Mark S - I like Smilla - though it loses its way a touch before the end. I like literary know-it-alls).

Remember 2 weeks ago how I told you my chiro center also has that adorable Brazilian masseuse, my masseuse? Well, she's been giving me the awesome hot flat rocks treatment + kneading weekly and I feel stupendamundo....but that's as far as she goes because the place is a legit medical place and plus she's married to some muscly gorilla......drat. But remember how I also talked about my friend from grade school who was hooked on Korean massage? (you know where THIS is going) Well, I met up with this guy tonight, played a little NHLPA 2k1 and ate cannelloni and baguette halves at his crib, then he brought up the Korean massage parlor....AGAIN.....he asks me, wanna go?.....I go, nah, I don't pay for P, that's sorry ass shit, I EARN my play, my man.......he goes, it's not P! trust me!....i still refuse.....we play a little more NHLPA......he goes, look, you're my dogg and all, how about I treat you to a session......I'm still iffy, I mean it's not P but a handjob's pretty close......but after we smoke some L's I give in.....i love free shit...

So he takes me to something something salon....it looks shady from the outside, you have to take the stairs from the back alley entrance....it's above a gangstery looking asian restaurant......you walk in, it's cozy and everything's pink and white, fish tanks even......older korean lady up front looks at my buddy like a longtime friend, they chat it up (i think he's saying he's referring a new guy, me, so she cuts him a deal).....we can go at the same time, but my friend wants me to have the best experience, with the girl he likes.....Hae-Kyun (i think)......he even insists I go first....I'm like, you my dogg squared......I go the 2nd room on the left and the older woman asks me if I want tea.....charming!.....I say yes but I'm nervous and shaky and dont drink a drop....I drop the shirt n draws and get the towel on.....I've never been with an asian girl.....Hae walks in.....easy there six gun......rosy cheeks, pillowy lips, milky ass skin tone, auburn-dyed hair....*diesel* body.....wearing just a plain black cotton skirt and clingy cotton top......speaks perfect accent-less english in a dry sexy sassy voice, which perturbs me because she sounds like the stylin hipster asian girls I know that intimidate me with their fucking excellent haircuts and rx7's....

Check it, I knew this beforehand, but it still amused me -- "massage" doesn't happen anywhere NEAR this place.....since my friend paid up front, she drops her top, rakes my chest lightly for a few minutes and coos.......then goes right for my midsection with oil in hand......my brain is a raging fuzzbox....I contemplate confirming she is of age but immediately scoff and laugh at my self inwardly....

about 2 mins later I'm done. eyes were closed entire time but opened them a little when I busted....shot about 2 feet into the air, no jokes.....she wipes me off and asks if I "feel better".....I go, "that was DOPE!" and start giggling maniacally.....she grins devilishly and shows me to the shower.....

So there......a truly radical experience......I wont go back unless someone treats me again or it's a very special occasion I'm celebrating, I'm still holding onto my principles (this will annoy my friend and the old lady to no end because they made my session happen in hopes I became a reg)......but damn, going rates are fiddy bucks for what I got, 3/4 what I paid for that stupid boring indoor bungee jump I did last fall......I recommend all unattached dudes out there try it just once. Word.

Oh and have a look at Hot Press, my whoring of my writing abilities as an effort to get the voucher for a music shop from the star letter has finally paid off.

An album..........I don't know, I've been broke, but the Stooges Fun House might be worth your while if you don't have it already and you're still buying older stuff. Of course there's a good likelihood you do have it.

I don't know about the new Warren G - Return Of The REgulator, but the last one, I Want It All, was excellent - the jawn with Crucial Conflict was awesome....but my recommendation is still StreeTz Is A Mutha.

'The Black Dahlia' by James Ellroy. (I've still not found Slayer cheap enough by the way!)

INVERTED SNOB

That makes five so buy it already! EAT ME BAILEY!

hip-hip rekid - i dunno, ain't bought any for 4-eva...ummm since the last foxy brown album maybe...that's good tho...yeah but i also like ronan's classification of "Fun House" as a hip-hop album so i'll approve that suggestion.

I was hoping noone would notice. I mean er.......duh...of course it is. Still thats 2 votes for those godfathers of hiphop the Stooges.

This doesn't stop Tom from running out and buying the last album he put out. Come on people, HELP A BROTHER OUT HERE.

MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E MA$E

(Yes, I am an obnoxious twat.)