"As an ex-pro footballer, you may not be surprised to learn that I'm keen to help people combat obesity."
--Ian Wright, on my box of Fruit 'n Fibre
― G00blar, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 10:24 (eighteen years ago)
...I've had most of the venereal diseases, and I'm pleased to say they are treatable!
― G00blar, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 10:25 (eighteen years ago)
...I've had my right foot bronzed.
... I am in deep denial about my sexuality.
― Matt DC, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 10:27 (eighteen years ago)
...I manage a pub.
(Seventies edition)
― Noodle Vague, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 10:27 (eighteen years ago)
... I own a bar in Costa Brava
(Eighties edition)
― Matt DC, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 10:29 (eighteen years ago)
... I manage a football team
― Tom D., Tuesday, 26 February 2008 10:29 (eighteen years ago)
...someone wrote this sentence for me in order that it would be grammatically accurate and contain no cliches.
― ailsa, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 10:29 (eighteen years ago)
(apart from the cliche of footballers being illiterate and prone to spouting cliches, obviously)
― ailsa, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 10:30 (eighteen years ago)
...I shot a man in Runcorn, just to watch him die.
― Noodle Vague, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 10:30 (eighteen years ago)
(By the way, "an ex-pro footballer", sounds American to me)
― Tom D., Tuesday, 26 February 2008 10:30 (eighteen years ago)
"... I just love the little people, they crack me up."
― Thomas, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 10:31 (eighteen years ago)
...I am in receipt of full disability allowance on account of me crippling neck pain.
― Noodle Vague, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 10:31 (eighteen years ago)
...we do not have capital punishment here (Norway), and life imprisonment is not happening either
― Tom D., Tuesday, 26 February 2008 10:32 (eighteen years ago)
...I am currently in a legal dispute with me kids over the Scalextric set I bought them in 1983.
― Noodle Vague, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 10:33 (eighteen years ago)
... I secretly think All-Bran is shite, and eat pie and chips for breakfast JUST BECAUSE I CAN.
― Matt DC, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 10:34 (eighteen years ago)
...I drink everyone's milkshakes.
― Dingbod Kesterson, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 10:34 (eighteen years ago)
I hate the coloureds
― Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 10:35 (eighteen years ago)
I am hard at work destabilising the managerial regime at my former club.
― Matt DC, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 10:36 (eighteen years ago)
...I'm signing on.
― Dingbod Kesterson, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 10:36 (eighteen years ago)
... I'm voting Tory
― Tom D., Tuesday, 26 February 2008 10:36 (eighteen years ago)
(Actually my uncle IS an ex-pro footballer. He never got to appear on a box Scott's Porage Oats however...)
― Tom D., Tuesday, 26 February 2008 10:38 (eighteen years ago)
...I'm chilling out with my favourite CDs - Blue, Another Level, a1, real cutting-edge R&B like...
― Dingbod Kesterson, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 10:40 (eighteen years ago)
me and Tim Lovejoy are off down Laser Quest this weekend
― Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 10:41 (eighteen years ago)
... I've already broken the injunction my ex-wife took out against me.
― Matt DC, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 10:42 (eighteen years ago)
...I'm managing the Laotian national side.
― Noodle Vague, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 10:42 (eighteen years ago)
... Ashley Cole allegedly stuck a mobile phone up my arse
― Tom D., Tuesday, 26 February 2008 10:43 (eighteen years ago)
...I'm telling you that the GOLF SALE is THAT WAY.
― Dingbod Kesterson, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 10:48 (eighteen years ago)
I'm delighted to be here, handing out gifts at the Cirencester School for Boys year end awards.
― Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 10:49 (eighteen years ago)
...I have been photographed with some alledgedly criminal types, but you can't very well refuse Big Vern's request for a picture. And besides I was with my girlfriend in bed at the time of the crime.
― Billy Dods, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 11:42 (eighteen years ago)
...I can't get you tickets for the derby match.
― Billy Dods, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 11:43 (eighteen years ago)
...I can get you tickets for the Derby match.
― Tom D., Tuesday, 26 February 2008 11:44 (eighteen years ago)
...I never share a bath with the missus
― blueski, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 11:54 (eighteen years ago)
...I'm sitting in a sleazy snackbar supping sickly sausage rolls.
― Dingbod Kesterson, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 11:55 (eighteen years ago)
...I've just been signed up by Roy Hodgson.
...I've just been up Roy Hodgson.
― Scik Mouthy, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 12:30 (eighteen years ago)
... I walk around hotels naked with "MAD" written on my forehead and communicate via plastic parrots.
― onimo, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 12:33 (eighteen years ago)
That's no way to talk about Lindisfarne.
― Dingbod Kesterson, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 12:34 (eighteen years ago)
... i think "food and drink" is a common expression to mean something that somebody does day in day out with ease.
― ken c, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 12:35 (eighteen years ago)
... I am not aware of the grammatical concept of misplaced modifiers.
― ledge, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 12:39 (eighteen years ago)
...at the end of the day, I have diminished bouncebackability.
― Dingbod Kesterson, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 12:41 (eighteen years ago)
...I continue to offer anecotes in the present tense. I've come in, been asked a question and given an answer and I'm pleased with that.
― blueski, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 12:54 (eighteen years ago)