STATHAM

As much as I like Crank, Transporter 2 pips it. I forgot that War wasn't his first Jet Li collaboration. They are both rubbish though (The One and War I mean).

Crank 2 could pip it.

transporter 2 ftw

has he starred in a romantic comedy? he needs to

Crank very obviously. For all sorts of reasons I think it's a film that cannot be improved upon.

his hairpiece in London is hilarious, but I don't think I want to vote for that.

Only saw Cellular, and Collateral (no memory of him in that). I generally don't go for the rugged types.

he's barely in 'collateral'; he just gives the cruiser a briefcase at the start in LAX.

oh shit I forgot about "Crank", wth me.

This is a tough one! I went with Crank, but Transporter 2 is very awesome. He's a great action star that just hasn't been in many good movies.

WHAT'S THE FIRST RULE OF THE CAR?

Bacon: Right. Let's sort the buyers from the spyers, the needy from the greedy, and those who trust me from the ones who don't, because if you can't see value here today, you're not up here shopping. You're up here shoplifting. You see these goods? Never seen daylight, moonlight, Israelite. Fanny by the gaslight. Take a bag, c'mon take a bag. I took a bag home last night. Cost me a lot more than ten pound, I can tell you. Anyone like jewelry? Look at that one there. Handmade in Italy, hand-stolen in Stepney. It's as long as my arm. I wish it was as long as something else. Don't think because these boxes are sealed up, they're empty. The only man who sells empty boxes is the undertaker, and by the look of some of you lot today, I'd make more money with me measuring tape. Here, one price. Ten pound.
Eddie: Did you say ten pound?
Bacon: Are you deaf?
Eddie: That's a bargain. I'll take one.
Bacon: Squeeze in if you can. Left leg, right leg, your body will follow. They call it walking. You want one as well, darling? You do? That's it. They're waking up. Treat the wife. Treat somebody else's wife. It's a lot more fun if you don't get caught. Hold on. You want one as well? Okay, darling, show me a bit of life then. It's no good standing out there like one o'clock half-struck. Buy them, you better buy them. These are not stolen, they just haven't been paid for, and we can't get them again. They've changed the bloody locks. Here. One for you. It's no good coming back later when I've sold out. "Too late, too late" will be the cry when the man with the bargains has passed you by. If you got no money on you now, you'll be crying tears as big as October cabbages.

statham is the greatest action star since Schwarzenegger's Last Great RUn

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Voted for the first Transporter, only because he's clearly working really hard in all the dialogue scenes between himself and Shu Qi (some of their banter approaches the surreal, I swear).

He's awesome in "In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale," though. Just kidding; what the fuck is that?

this isn't fair btw, The Bank Job doesn't open in America until this weekend

I voted Transporter, but they are all good.

Except for that Dungeo Siege movie haha.

Chinatown sex scene in Crank = massive LOLs

crank crunks

crank v transporter 2 obv. went for crank. tho i'd love to watch both again before voting.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

oh man, in the name of the king: a dungeon siege tale

Did you actually watch that?????? wau, hero

it cannot be described in words

http://www.midwaysailor.com/military/salute.jpg

you haven't lived until you've seen ray liotta do a slow-mo "carrie anne moss in the matrix" style jump

he plays a wizard btw

ok gotta go to Netflix now

i cannot say you will thank me because, you will not

Is this a good film for dipping one's toes into the Boll Canon?

lol, Ball Cannon

the last two parts of the film are here:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=G0NzXreih90
http://youtube.com/watch?v=fOBsKBdSOdY

it's all you really need to see

Is this out on Blu-Ray?

IT IS

I am so Netflixing this.

"HOW DO YOU LIKE MY KRUG?"

Is that LeeLee Sobieski?

she's come a long way since kubrick movies

Does "getting punched in the face by Nic Cage" count as "a long way"?

look just don't say i encouraged this rental

ok lololololololololololololol at liotta death scene

he knows exactly what movie he's in

those scenes don't even include burt reynolds as the most bored looking king ever and matthew lillard as his traitorous nephew.

Trailer for Death Race is online
http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1809936373/video/8306623

disappointed that I was not the dude who made this poll.

sry boo

it is how I know we shares a blood, it is cool with or without a k, that is how cool it is

dogg

yv all seen the transporter 3 trail, right?

Arrrgh I watched War and Chaos lately -- both AWFUL. Well, I'm pretty sure War was worse. I'm afraid to see anything else by him. And it was going so WELL after Italian Job and Transpo...where did it all go wrong, she wailed forlornly.

well that figures; you don't have to sell me on what horrible taste gay men have in just about everything. xxp

you're my type of misanthropist :)

i wonder if women like statham movies more than guys do. or at least statham movies like transporter and crank, which are quite funny and weird for all their action/violence, like they're fantasy movies for women who hate romantic comedies (i am talking abt myself here obv)

like if Statham starred in a sci-fi action movie i would be THERE without question

i am thinking of Pitch Black and how that made me love Vin Diesel

"Looks clear."

There's another Riddick movie coming out, lol

my wife loves statham, probably more than i do.

statham as roy batty in a blade runner remake?

I am not attracted to Statham at all, but I just love his movies because they are funny, weird, or ridiculous in some way and I enjoy action movies.

Chaos should get a special mention here because it is basically the plot of MacGruber played straight (it even has Ryan Phillipe!) until the ending.

statham looks just like one of my ex-bosses -- my ex-boss even SOUNDS like statham (albeit with a slight brooklyn accent).

Look, just say your ex-boss was Statham.

He's your ex-boss because you were drop-kicked through a window one too many times after screwing up the coffee order.

He then caused the coffee to explode by staring at it.

Statham in a Scanners remake could be entertaining

I would pay all this money for that.

no! i don't want to think about anything deforming his beautiful dome

people itt need to found the law firm of Dumi, Statham & Howe

lol

"Fahkin' hate green screen. Pay significant amounts of money never to do it again. You cannot fake adrenaline."

my wife loves statham, probably more than i do.

My gf likes Statham as much as I do. For her birthday over the weekend, we went to a drive-in to see a bizarrely programmed double-feature of Safe and The Dictator. We both loved Safe, but I do have to mention one thing... seeing a Statham movie at a drive-in automatically makes it 12x as righteous.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GMBXStd3SA

Clowns, priests, and JLo.

Love Point Blank and almost-love Payback, wary of this one. Parker doesn't need to be all Cranked-up.

love this guy. he's a genre unto himself.

as a parker movie it looks awful (lol at his rule about not hurting people 'who dont deserve it'), but as a statham flick it looks a little better than the stuff he's been doing lately.

How did Transporter beat Crank? Crank is a genuinely inspired piece of film making.

Because Transporter has the Rules of the Car.

First rule of the car: Respect a man's car, a man will respect you.

wau at calling that Parker - while he was alive Westlake almost universally barred the name even being used for the character in adaptations, now they're adapting one of the late ones that specifically depends on him being forty years deep into his career and casting a young(ish) man and expecting the weight to be carried? booooo.

yeah it's pretty gross that they waited for westlake to die so they could shit all over his character

Statham's cowboy hat in that trailer makes him look uncomfortably like Michael Gira.

man Blitz is grisly

Chiklis in that trailer!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qe6Viz3Jw3Q

oh hai i wrote about the parker movie here --
http://murderjones.tumblr.com/post/44829394012/parker-vs-parker

i didn't know ade was a westlake fan! that's great! he never visits the westlake thread when i revive it though.

Saw a preview for the new Statham movie "Homefront" (actually it was the ad that came up before watching a Lou Reed YouTube someone posted on Facebook) where he plays American (?) and his 10-11 year old daughter beats up a bully Statham-style and puts the family on the bad side of a meth dealer played by James Franco and also Winona Ryder is involved somehow? Looks amazing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjSOj8b804U

Sad LOL at having to watch an ad before watching this trailer (i.e. an ad)

where he plays American

He's supposed to be American in quite a few of his movies, but it's hard to tell as his efforts at an accent are pretty minimal.

I'll definitely be watching this new one.

Just watched Homefront. It's definitely worth seeing. All the usual Statham ass-kickery with a side order of redneck blood-feudin'. Kate Bosworth's great in it (seriously - she plays a mom who'll burn the world down if she thinks she's been disrespected, and she's the scariest, most real thing about the movie); Winona Ryder and James Franco are...also in it. Script by Sylvester Stallone. Still recommended.

http://www.vulture.com/2014/11/what-its-like-to-be-a-movie-body-double.html

Crank (2006)
Amy Smart’s body double
“My most fun moment on set was Crank. Jason Statham made me feel so comfortable. I can’t remember exactly what he said, but I remember telling my husband later — something so charming, like, 'Don’t worry about it, I got ya, love.' He didn’t make me feel stupid or naked. And I had to be completely topless, and it was this crazy scene outside with all these background actors. But I was like, 'This is not a bad day. I’m taking my clothes off for Jason Statham. I’ll be okay today.' I remember getting the call for Crank 2; Amy Smart requested me and I thought that was really nice. But I was pregnant and couldn’t do it, and I was so upset. But you can’t be a pregnant body-double. It’s a liability.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6anGt4u2Aq0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6gqpPqDPJk

Statham vs. Shark feels vaguely like internet meme bait. Guess that's how movies are made now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsLk0NPRFAc

It's a bummer that this thread wasn't revived a few years ago to discuss his fantastic performance in the Melissa McCarthy movie Spy.

yeah he's the best thing in that movie - i've unironically loved statham for years but he's genuinely a revelation there, a fantastic unselfconscious comic performance

(there's a thread for the meg in its own right btw: Come anticipate THE MEG: THEY FLY @ JASON STATHAM)

hate to see this genius shaded by wins

The Bank Job -- Non-action Statham and was watchable, if a bit uneventful

six years later I want to bristle at this faint praise - a heist movie by Dick Clement & Ian LaFrenais! it's in my top seven Stathams.

it’s good! hate to see this proud, beautiful bald man in a hairpiece tho, gotta dock it a couple of points for alone

er, for that alone