Would Jesus Christ be as popular if God had let him grow old and die of natural causes,

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or is it like a James Dean type thing?

― fritz, Thursday, 14 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Why is Christianity fixated on the crucifixion?

I like that Bill Hicks thing about how wearing a crucifix necklace is like wearing a little golden rifle to show respect for JFK.

― fritz, Thursday, 14 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

But then he didn't get *why* Catholics wear it. It is a reminder of why Jesus died.

― Patti Smith, Thursday, 14 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

If god had let jesus grow old and die of cancer, christians would have to wear lumps of diseased tissue around their necks.

― Sterling Clover, Thursday, 14 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You mean because God was trying to ensure JC's continued popularity through a die-young-stay-pretty publicity stunt?

― fritz, Thursday, 14 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I like the idea of a cranky old Jesus.

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 14 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I saw him in the supermarket looking for Elvis.

― nathalie, Thursday, 14 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Answer: Rent "The Last Temptation of Christ".

― Joe, Thursday, 14 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'd still be a fan, especially if he looked like Peter O'Toole in The Ruling Class. Or Willie Nelson.

― Arthur, Thursday, 14 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

A POEM : JESUS WAS A MAGICAL MAN HE WAS NOT BAD AT ALL. BUT HE COULD NOT DEFEAT THE ROMANS, SO HE WAS COOL

― Mike Hanle y, Thursday, 14 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

come down off the cross we can use the wood

― ernest, Thursday, 14 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Isn't God kind of the ultimate natural cause?

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 14 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

jesus should have been fat.

― di, Thursday, 14 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Hey Peter, I can see my house from here!

― nickn, Thursday, 14 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

He wasn't merely cool, he was way cool. Everyone loved Jesus...

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 14 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Umm, but surely, Jesus = Gram Parsons of the New Testament?

― Elisa, Friday, 15 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Does that mean Mary Magdalene is Emmy Lou Harris?

― misterjones, Friday, 15 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

who's Judas?

― MarkH, Friday, 15 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

A priest.

― Dan Perry, Friday, 15 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

David Crosby?

― Elisa, Friday, 15 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh damn, that post of mine wasn't meant to go after Dan's. And this way, it makes even less sense than it was originally supposed to. (i.e. << than No Bloody Sense At All).

― Elisa, Friday, 15 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

nine months pass...

Jesus died, but he rose from the dead and is still alive. So all this about him being dead is a bit off, following the Christian beliefe that is. Also, Jesus himself is God, remember the trinity concept?: 3 parts, one whole.

― Christopher Xist, Sunday, 29 December 2002 06:56 (twenty-three years ago)

He would charge hundreds of dollars for floor seats and then bitch that he too had to feed his family when called on it.

― That Girl (thatgirl), Sunday, 29 December 2002 08:58 (twenty-three years ago)

david crosby?

― Queen G (Queeng), Sunday, 29 December 2002 10:29 (twenty-three years ago)

Jesus Christ was God, so it's wrong to say that God let him do this or that.

One God, three persons, no refunds.

― Rockist Scientist, Sunday, 29 December 2002 11:23 (twenty-three years ago)

Maybe we should say if the Romans-Jews had let him alone and he hadn't become a martyr.

But you know Mohammed lived a nice long life and people seem to like him OK.

― Morian, Sunday, 29 December 2002 11:25 (twenty-three years ago)

I think the key to becoming the central figure in a major world religion is, you've got to cultivate a mystique.

― Moran, Sunday, 29 December 2002 11:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Like the Lazarus thing, that was dope. If he kept doing that for a few decades I think Jesus would've still made out OK.

― Morin, Sunday, 29 December 2002 11:28 (twenty-three years ago)

I should think u folks wuld sstop taking suchh a lax, flip tone on this when you're stuck down by lightning

― Vic (Vic), Sunday, 29 December 2002 14:55 (twenty-three years ago)

Good one Fritz

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Sunday, 29 December 2002 14:57 (twenty-three years ago)

If they're ALL God, how can God be Jesus's father? Hmmm? I've heard of inbreeding but that's just physically impossible!

― Ally (mlescaut), Sunday, 29 December 2002 18:54 (twenty-three years ago)

having god as your dad is CHEATING. if he'd a done it off his own back i'd have more respect for the guy

― bob snoom, Sunday, 29 December 2002 20:25 (twenty-three years ago)

"He's not the Messiah,he's a very naughty boy!"

Don't you think that the General Synod's "Life of Christ" seems to rely heavily on Monty Python's "Life of Brian"?Even the name 'Jesus Christ' takes a cue from the Python God,John Cleese.JC,same initials,do you see?

Matron,medicine please.....

― Eugene Speed (Eugene Speed), Sunday, 29 December 2002 20:58 (twenty-three years ago)

There were thousands of people who, like Jesus, claimed to be the messiah and were subsequently arrested by the Jewish authorities. Many of these people were executed as Jesus was. What distinguishes Jesus was partly his message of peace and, more importantly, the fact that he came back from the dead. His crucifixtion really doesn't have anything to do with it.

― Curtis Stephens, Sunday, 29 December 2002 21:10 (twenty-three years ago)

He'd have had a hard job coming back from the dead without dying first, and preferably in a high-profile, public way. Wandering in and saying "I came back from the dead! Whooo!" (I like to think he said "Whooo!", though I don't think it says so in the Bible) if everyone then says "You were dead? When?" wouldn't impress anyone.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 30 December 2002 00:33 (twenty-three years ago)

I still don't see anyone explaining the self-fathering thing. Joseph was a real sucka for buying THAT story offa Mary.

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 30 December 2002 01:34 (twenty-three years ago)

It's awful convenient that shortly after 'coming back from the dead' he 'ascended into Heaven', don't you think?

― Tom (Groke), Monday, 30 December 2002 01:43 (twenty-three years ago)

Of course not. Dying whilst young and beautiful is the surest way to enduring fame when you've little else going for you (witness Kurt Cobain--should that be google proofed?). bonus points if you die as a martyr.

― , Monday, 30 December 2002 01:48 (twenty-three years ago)

I would love to hear what people who actually believe Kurt was Jesus would say. For instance: why no rapture-style rivers of blood yet?

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 30 December 2002 03:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"It's awful convenient that shortly after 'coming back from the dead' he 'ascended into Heaven', don't you think? "

What's the story behind this anyhow? Did he spend much time on Earth between returning from the dead and rising to heaven? Enough time to see anyone, get a few words in, hover over a battlefield or what have you? I know this all has something to do with Easter right?

― Morgan (amateurist), Monday, 30 December 2002 07:15 (twenty-three years ago)

You'll be sorry when the river of blood floods out your basement, Tracer.

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 30 December 2002 23:41 (twenty-three years ago)

He spent his time before ascending to heaven hiding candy.

― Dave Fischer, Tuesday, 31 December 2002 00:24 (twenty-three years ago)

Dave Fischer is my hero for the rest of the day.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 00:36 (twenty-three years ago)

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