do you want to have kids?

if you have kids already gtfo i just wanna talk to ppl who dont yet

someone just sent me a text with a picture of a baby on, "thought u mite like to meet my son :)"

Aw, but i don't recognise the number, they've not replied yet to my who? query.

thats pretty fucked up

those kids are charming and adorable i'm sure but is it worth 18-odd years of blood sweat and tears? i think not. none for me thanks.

look at their beautiful house! there must be a reason why people do this and not just because they get knocked up & cant get away from it

i think some people have kids just to prove to their friends that they're still having sex.

but i'm kidding of course

yourvaginaitsnotaclowncar.gif

i'll have someone else's kids for an afternoon. i can buy icecreams and teach 'em to say cunt. but after that them is going back.

I think it's one of the things in life one should do. I've no actual desire to though, sounds awful.

yall are sounding pretty bitter/kate st claire about this... whats wrong with having kids?

not now but when im really old like 30

I'm really old like 30 and I'm not ready, no way.

Ethan, quit it.

I'd rather not. This planet is rather overpopulated quite a bit already and more importantly, most people with children are intensely annoying.

Lazy 23-year-old-virgin-lol zing/.

in theory i'd like kids but whenever i spend time with actual kids my enthusiasm dampens a bit

People do seem to love children, it's a mystery. I lie of course, it's not a mystery. There's that bit in Lost in Translation where Bill Murray is going on about having kids and he says they turn out to be the best people you have ever known; and even though I don't have kids I still kind of empathise, I feel that he's totally right.

But still I think I only like kids in small doses if at all, I certainly have no love for babies, and Bill's speech and the above video do emphasise the positive and totally omit the negative aspects. What if one's kids turned out to be absolute horrors?

Haven't got any yet but it's on the cards in the next year or so. I'm 36, the wife's 31, think it's now or never.

How much you may or may not like other people's kids is absolutely no indication of how you will love your own kids.

xpost

i am definitely having kids. kids are awesome. not yet though -- i'm only 30! but for sure when i'm really old like 35

So you think ultimately it's just a gut feeling - either you want 'em or you don't? I think that's true for me.

xpost.

i want kids why because they look interesting

"kids: the older they get, the cuter they ain't"

"crazy: you don't have to be it to work here, but it helps!!!!"

I definitely want kids. In fact, we recently just talked about when this might happen and it looks like it'll (assuming all goes smoothly) be about three years from now. We'll both be 33.

I never really thought much about kids but during the last year or so I've become ridiculously baby crazy. I firmly believe that for some (but not everyone) there is a biological drive to have kids. I become crazy stupid when I'm around - or even just see - a cute baby. This is not normal for me and I'm blaming it on the drive to procreate.

the fact that my girlfriend keeps asking me to take her behind the middle school and get her pregnant is the reason i probably one day will.

i've always been determined to fight my genes, luckily they aren't putting up much resistance.

xpost kinda

i'm 30 v soon but having kids idea still feels 10 years away. number of people i know now parents has skyrocketed in the last 4 years but personal arrested development etc. too much other stuff to do first but also begun acceptance process that i may not actually be suited to it or may never got the opportunity anyway.

one thing i don't quite get: taking thousands of photos of your baby (and posting them on the internets) tho i guess you may constantly feel you're chasing 'the perfect depiction of perfection' or something

too much other stuff to do first

I worry about this but then figure that a lot of stuff can still be done with kids. It's also one of the many reasons I only want a max of two.

actually it's the other way around isn't it - let me have all this time to do NOTHING before i have kids and THEN have too much stuff to do forever

keeps asking me to take her behind the middle school

Oh, why bother . . .

I want to have kids, and gf wants kids, and I'd quite like to have kids with her and she (I think) with me. We've both got things we want to do first though, and I want to be making enough cash so that the kid doesn't want for anything ie not now.

a lot of stuff can still be done with kids.

Yes, but go to a nice restaurant with a small person and you'll be detested. Sure you can do lots of thigns with kids, but I'm under the impression that children have a habit of financially sucking you dry so you don't get to do anything else.

re. 1000000 baby photos: there doesn't seem to be much consideration of the David-Thomsonian narcissistic-experiential-FX of a new generation being endlessly photographed every 10 minutes.

i always think that i've got other thing to do instead, but then i realise that i spend most weekends either sat on my arse or lying in bed.

that shit is important

people who want kids, why do you think you want kids (i don't mean you only think you want them, but why you think it is you do)? other than hormones i guess...

i'm not hostile to the idea or something, i do really like kids: i live with a two-year-old and he's awesome, my bro just had a baby boy who already has a five-year-old half-sister and they're both brilliant, people at work have kids and i love hanging out with them, but... it's for the rest of your life, what if you end up with tossers for kids? planet is already way overpopulated (think this is starting to cease being the elephant in the room though, i've read a few articles about it in the last six months or so), it seems like the world is getting shittier all the time, plus what if they don't want to be born? it seems a really selfish thing to do to me, to bring someone else into the world just because of something you want. maybe i'll change my mind when my hormones kick in or something, but i cannot understand what the reasons are for having kids. please help me understand?

POLL

the planet is not overpopulated, civilisation is just grossly mis-managed

I'm under the impression that children have a habit of financially sucking you dry so you don't get to do anything else.

Yes, I agree. One of the best thing about being a only child was that I got to go a lot of places and do a lot of things with my parents that I don't think they'd have been able to do with more kids because of the cost. In fact, I'd want just one myself but now that I'm older I really wish I had siblings and wouldn't want to put my kid through that.

Scotland is depopulating.

the planet is not overpopulated, civilisation is just grossly mis-managed

Exactly.

everyone wants to live/is being forced to live in giant cities

having kids is definitely selfish but for some reason the same accusation gets lobbed at those that don't want them. perplexing.

i do want to have kids, or a kid, some day

it's funny this thing about the cost of children. for most of human history kids were basically indentured servants for the family; more kids meant more help around the house/on the farm, etc - people had as many as they could in order to EASE their finances, rather than the other way around

i'm basically one of these people that cringes at the thought but i am 100% certain that if it were to happen i'd be in it to win it - kind of like my attitude towards baths ca. age 5

therefore, all humans = selfish

QED!

TH, trust me, this has vastly changed. Kids are VERY expensive. But definitely worth every single fucking penny.

"thought u mite like to meet my son :)"

i would reply:"I think you might need to enroll in a spelling course before your kid takes an interest in reading and writing."

Just kidding. I think it's a VERY weird message to send. Maybe she's afraid you dislike kids? It must be hard being a single parent going on a date...

Cute video btw. Oh and I have kids, so I'm not allowed to post. :-( Sorry.

I'm about to get married so I'm probably 2-3 years from parenthood, which still intimidates me a lot but I'm getting used to the idea. I was always the youngest in my family (even out of all my cousins), so I don't have much experience being around babies or small children, but I know more and more couples with kids so I'm getting more comfortable around babies. The world may or may not be going to hell in our lifetime, but I'm glad my parents didn't let the cold war or whatever stop them from having kids so I'm not gonna let current events stop me.

it seems to me -- and i know i'll get shouted down a bit here, but tough -- that the majority of parents don't think the whole thing through.

You won't get shouted down. You're just way past wrong on this. I know a lot of couples and it was talked about VERY much. It's a very important deal. I mean, shit, when I met my husband, I quickly talked about kids and wanted to know if he wanted to become a parent. That said, you are in no way prepared to become a parent. There's no way you can find out until you become one. It's one thing to love kids, it's another thing to be a parent. It's the hardest but most rewarding thing you'll ever do in your life.

SS, yeah, little kids sleep a lot... but mostly not when you need it most. ;-)

so do people with kids only hang out with people with kids?

Are you mad? I am lucky though: our salesperson had a baby (second one as well) a month before I did. It's a great bond. We help eachother out a lot. She recently said that looking at Ophelia was so much fun cause it was like looking at her daughter. AW.

That said, you are in no way prepared to become a parent. There's no way you can find out until you become one. It's one thing to love kids, it's another thing to be a parent.

Haha, this reminds me of a classic work story involving two former coworkers -- one was a mom with two kids, another a fellow with a long-term girlfriend who got pregnant with their first kid (they're now married, which I gather they'd been planning on anyway so hurrah, and have a couple more kids).

Anyway, in the months running up to the birth he came up with a slew of hilariously ridiculous kid-raising theories ("Just wrap up the kid and I'll take him into work, rock him in a small cradle with my foot"), which he knew were crazy but said to get a rise out of the other coworker, who took them in that spirit and always responded back about how the actual thing would change his mind a bit. So the day comes, he's off to the hospital in the evening and the following morning he calls in:

HIM: "Hey."

ME: "Hey man, how'd everything go?"

HIM: "It was great, baby's fine, my girlfriend's great, etc. etc."

*slight pause, then speaks slightly wearily and with a chuckle*

"...This is a lot harder than I thought it would be."

I bit my tongue a bit, wished him well, then immediately called the other coworker to relay the news and that sentiment. I still remember the laughter.

Being prepared to be unprepared is some of the best advice for a future parent.

Have two. They're small.

I find it kinda depressing that people feel the need to justify the decision to not have kids. I understand the desire to kick against the social pressure, but really - hey there's no shortage of people on the planet, if you don't feel like having kids, what business is it of anybody else's?

They don't need to justify anything to me, Shakey Mo. The world needs all the childless aunts, uncles and interested friends it can muster to swell the babysitting ranks for those with kids. It's an honorable choice.

xpost

people's parents tend to put a lot of pressure on them to have kids so i'm sure a lot of justifications are formed in response to this. but there is some general societal pressure too of course.

"We must keep up with the godless (race/creed/religion of your choice here), have you seen their birthrates?!"

Hahah, Rock Hardy so OTM. The amount of bullshit that comes down to that is utterly infuriating. Like I'm going to become a dad to make Mark Steyn happy.

After I am Islamochristian and have 72,400 dollars

i'm happy enough being an uncle for now

Still wanna have kids?

get bent pretty much summed up all the reasons i'm not so keen on having kids. i've thought about it a lot, and although the maternal instinct is there (and will probably get much stronger in the next few years), i think the reality for me is that i just don't want to have my own. i haven't entirely ruled out adoption, and i'm definitely keen to do some kind of foster care further down the track, but there's a huge pressure for women when it comes to having your own kids: you're on the clock. and that really sucks.

i want to have kids when i'm ready in my mind and my heart, not when my body is ready.

Yes, if I figure out I can be good enough as a parent. I think I'll need a couple more years to figure this out, but it may never be an option in the first place.

i want to have kids when i'm ready in my mind and my heart, not when my body is ready.

yeah I was gonna say... yr body doesn't really give a shit about your mind and heart, after 35 it gets harder and harder to conceive. there's nothing you can do about that (unless you wanna be fertility pill-popping and risk having quadruplets or whatever)

i have a feeling that parenting is like most other big steps in life -- you gotta just fake it

yeah that sounds otm. i'd like a kid at some point, but i don't want to fuck him/her up too much and right now that's a pretty distinct possibility.

I THINK I WOULD MAKE AND REAR SOME DAMN EXCELLENT CHILDREN. I will be a fucking great mom. I can wake up at odd hours and be patient, and I don't yell, but I know how to talk sense into people, and I'm smart and creative.

VOTE ABBOTT FOR 'GOOD FUTURE MOM.' I have my vote!

(it's sweet in that video when then older sister asks the younger sister to dance with her and then says, "are you ok?!")

I'm the oldest of five kids, and my youngest brother came about when I was ten, just old enough to be really able to help out taking care of him & remember it clearly, but still have kidstyle playtime when he was growing up his first couple years. I fucking hated babies before him, but not him He was just too totally cool and funny, from day one, not to totally dig. And he's who got me thinking "maybe kids/babies can be pretty awesome." I mean, seriously, if I had a kid even half as awesome as him I would be so happy and proud.

i think you'd be an awesome mom.

Thanks. I have a few psychological hangups about not being a stay-at-home mom, bcz basically of the church I grew up in where it was tantamount to a commandment from that crazy God fellow. But, shit. It isn't.

From age 18 to mid 20s, I didn't just want kids. That was my goal. obviously, that's usually the worst way to succeed in that goal, especially when you just left a house that equipped you with zero social skills.

One of the reason I wanted to have kids at a young age was to allieve the fear that if I don't pass on my genes, I will be dead after death.. or some weird shit like that.

Anyway, ffwd.

I think I have one or two social skills now, but now that I'm 36 (i.e. VERY very old in Ethan years), I realize that not only can't I do everything, but I can't every try everything. Having kids isn't something one "tries" if a conscience is involved.

I have plenty of friends who had kids, and plenty of friends who are having kids. I've gotten to play with kids. I like kids. But at this path in my life, I just don't need to have them. I don't even want pets or plants. I want to be able to escape at any point in time without having to worry about calling a friend to watch over a loved living thing in my house or apartment.

I've been told I would make an excellent dad by everyone. And I'm kinda sad I'll never know if that's true or not. I'm happy enough to be the honorary uncle, though.

I am willing to vote for abbott for second most awesome mom because my mom is most awesome mom.

I <3 my mom.

still, 2nd most awesome mom is pretty awesome.

i want kids more than i want anything else, except possibly for the maturity and financial ability to care for kids

"yeah that sounds otm. i'd like a kid at some point, but i don't want to fuck him/her up too much and right now that's a pretty distinct possibility."

dude that's gonna happen regardless. :-)

I vote Abbott for mom

I'm resigned to the fact that one of these days, Beeps is going to throw at me, "On August 19, 2009, you yelled at me a bit too loudly to quit messing with the TV. Now, when I touch the remote control, I shudder a little bit."

To which I will reply, "OH YEAH? WHEN I WAS SIX, MY MOM LEFT MY DAD AND WE HAD TO GO LIVE IN A TRAILER. NOW I CAN'T HEAR RAIN FALL ON METAL TIN WITHOUT GETTING FLASHBACKS."

^^^^"I walked 20 miles to school every day in the snow, etc etc"

http://vimeo.com/2113477

i want a kid :-\

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/53/Amelie_poster.jpg

hi super cub-- how is your kid?

adorable, brilliant, and totally fascinating. thanks for asking :)

I highly recommend children.

oh man.

I'd like to have kids, I think it would be more interesting in the long run than not...it's a major life experience I like the idea of having, and attempting to brainwash them with literature, moral values, music, etc. would be cool too (especially if it worked). It would be great to start in my twenties, but I don't even have a boyfriend and may still be in grad school at 30 anyway (I hope not!), so that's probably not happening.

i wanted to have one until like a year ago but i realized i am a self-absorbed career woman and i'm afraid i wouldn't like any kids i have, sort of in the way that i don't like my sister. also i value privacy too much and hate spending money, and i wouldn't like being pregnant because i like being able to move and i try to avoid the doctor whenever i can.

harbl i thought we had a future together

i don't think we have much in common, gr8080

i told my gf for every kid she wants we can get two pugs instead.

gah i would rather have 10 kids than one pug!

well, not really. but large dogs ftw

http://www.dunnsmarshlabs.com/4pugs905.jpg
>>>>>
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3158/2471446543_6bcc6f1b16.jpghttp://farm4.static.flickr.com/3158/2471446543_6bcc6f1b16.jpg

i told my co-worker that if a girl had a dog that'd be a dealbreaker, but if she had a kid, no problem

co-worker was shocked

both ugly xp

SHUT UP!! Not a great kid pic tbh but those pugs rule.

=P