how 'normal' is it to have fuck friends?

She wants to do you obv.

everyone has the same one

no, she doesnt want to do me. she doesnt do 'non relationship sex' apparently.

It is QUITE normal, but don't be worried if you haven't got one. Like cord trousers.

I've never worried about not having cord trousers before, should I?

if "she doesnt do 'non relationship sex' apparently." how can she also be all "surprised i didnt have one as apparently, EVERYONE has one."

her friends do. but then theyre women so i imagine theyre not exactly stumped for choice. but yeah, i dont know really how shes surprised, i think shes a prude trying to act like she isnt.

Matt - exactly.

" she doesnt do 'non relationship sex' apparently."

sooo she says evertone has fuck buddies but she doesn't do non relationship sex? man, i so wanna look inside her head.

she's lying though. and completely twisted.

There's no such thing as 'normal'.

You're just saying that because you don't have an iPhone.

Kate OTM. It's like cord trousers.

well if there is, she isn't. cause she says everyone has one (=normal) and she doesn't.

No, I'm just saying it because I'm a paragon of "bitter". Apparently.

Mr X, is it possible that you want to have sex with this 'friend'?

i blame Skins

"Mr X, is it possible that you want to have sex with this 'friend'?"

HAHA, this sentence somehow fits into EVERYWHERE and EVERYTHING

this woman's idea of sexual relations is informed by watching sex and the city and she is not to be trusted

elmo i wanted to say the exact same thing.

haha it is possible. but not craved. and it is equally possible she simply doesnt want to have non r/s sex with me. despite saying she thinks im hot. that isnt what this post is about though.

she's PARIS HILTON?

yeah i don't know anyone who does this 'fuck buddy' thing

mr x, if you and your friend are fourteen then you have to be aware that this is the kind of shit that fourteen year olds say to each other and you shouldn't waste time thinking about it too hard. you'll hear a lot of shitty ideas as a teenager and you'll be able to look back and smile about it in a few years and then for the rest of your life, when you realise how short your youth is and how hilariously opposite the creedence you gave all of your petty youthful tribulations was in comparison to how much it actually mattered.

if you and your friend aren't fourteen you should probably get a new friend, cos she says the kind of shit you'd expect to hear from a fourteen year old.

if you're fourteen and she's older, that's cool, but don't hold her up as some kind of example to follow because she hangs out with fourteen year olds, which is kinda weird, and as a result seems to think and talk like one.

if your friend is fourteen and you're older, then you're probably some kind of pervert. you make me sick.

I've just worked out who Mr X is. It seems so obvious all of a sudden.

elmo that is what i thought as well. but she claims otherwise.

who is mr x?

http://img508.imageshack.us/img508/4662/mehg3vh.jpg

Mr. X is the Ormskirk Advertisers restaurant critic.

When I was 14, I swear to god, I swear, I never even knew what fuck friends were-err-errrr!

i hope to know by the time i am 14.

by saying "everyone has fuck friends" and saying "she doesn't do non-relationship sex," is she trying to make the case that she of better moral character or that she is 'more old-fashioned' or that most girls are sluts but not her?

I, actually, couldn't live without corduroy trousers. They are something of a uniform for IT people who can't quite figure out "smart office casual".

Attempts, however, at procuring "fuck friends" have not been quite so succssful. I'm not sure if this relates to their feasibility or indispensibility, though.

OK, I do, actually, want an iPhone, though.

her: Of course, everyone is at least slightly bisexual
him: Are you?
her: Absolutely Not!

fuck buddy is the proper term for one you fuck regularly who is not your significant other or (interestingly enough) your buddy

TS: iPhone vs fuck buddy

wb louis

fuckbuddy is such an awful term - whoever invented it must've just been one of those people who say 'buddy' all the time already. or maybe one of de la soul.

I think an iPhone would become obsolete an require upgrading less quickly. And that is saying something!

fuck buddy is an amazing term perfectly encapsulating the vicissitudes of said relationship

as you like it, chummy chum

Anyone ever rubbernecked at Craigslist's "Casual Encounters" category? The number of men who post looking for "NSA" (no strings attached) and "FWB" (friends with benefits) is quite high. The number of posts by females - in Denver, anyway - is significantly lower.

I don't know if it's a high number of people who actually have fuck friends, but there certainly seems to be a high number of men who would like to have them.

plural.

casual encounters is srsly classic reading - id imagine if there are actual females who you know use that section they tend to be respondents rather than posters

I don't personally know any females who read it other than myself, and it's really just for the srsly classic reading. Can't imagine ever responding.

lol 'no photo no reply'

One of my former bandmates was forever promoting the wonders of these things - not craigslist, but another site, apparently. She kept trying to sign me and a third bandmate up to them, but, well. I never had the guts.

She said it was absolutely clinical, the way you could spell out your likes and dislikes and wants and suchnot.

Because (she says) men tend to be so much *less* picky when looking for NSA sex, women can afford to be so much *more* picky.

My favorite from today's casual encounters:

MWM looking for delicious woman to be my brunch. Table for 2, 10:30 today, your place.

To drink, I'd like some ice water. (ice could come in handy later)
My appetizer, your lovely neck, lips and earlobs
My first course, "grapefruits"
After that, I promise I'll lick the bowl clean.
My main course? Oh its so hard to pick a favorite, I'll just have at least 3 items you recommend. What is your favorite dish?
For dessert, a cherry with some whipped cream.

I'd like to request to sit by the window and have a particular type of server: HWP, clean, 20-40yrs and in decent shape so she can handle me going back for seconds or thirds.

What the hell is HWP??? Hot White Professional?

Homeslice With Penis

My first course, "grapefruits"

awe-inspiring

friends with benefits are best (often including a dental plan and 401k)

you cant fuck someone with a negative boner dumbass

"fuck buddy" sounds like "poker buddy" -- as in, the people I play poker with but otherwise don't see. Versus just doing your friends.

I want to help introduce vakipano into the American slang lexicon.

friends with benefits is a doomed situation - but you both knew that going in didnt you

you can fuck someones dumbass w/your negative boner

a friend w/benefits is a friend who you fuck.

a fuck buddy is someone you fuck who is not your buddy.

I don't really get this... Do people really have fuck buddies that they're not friendly with at all? Do they just meet at one or another's flat, have their regular session, and then part without speaking to each other before or after?

just cause you speak to someone doesnt make them your buddy

but seriously, most people who do the friends-with-benefits / fuckbuds thing, in my observation, pretend to be more enlightened and evolved in their attitudes towards sex than they really are, because they are mostly just looking to (a) get their roxxx offf and leave or (b) make their 'friend' fall in love with them via gential contact (crepey)

pretend to be more enlightened and evolved in their attitudes towards sex than they really are

t-bomb

there is really no such thing as enlightened and evolved attitudes towards sex

well i don't know that i'd go that far

you can choose to make smarter decisions whose effects will be positive.

"whose effects"? you know what i'm saying though

if you maintain or at least attempt to maintain awareness of the consequences of your actions, rather than trying to bone whatever looks good whenever you can get it, you're more likely to stay happy and be satisfied.

"I have enlightened and evolved attitudes towards sex" is pretty much code for "I just want to get my rocks off and then leave", surely?

i'm surprised that it hadn't come to this yet, but.. erm..

who on this thread lives in london and has a fanny that wants to be poked by a penis occasionally? email me!

there is no choose or be smart only "fuck buddy"

real answer to thread question: it can't be that 'normal' if Tuomas does it.

yeah i mean people who say that they're "above emotional connection" or whatevs are dbags looking to get their rocks off but that doesn't mean you can't be smart about the decisions you make and their likely consequences.

if anything bringing that kind of an awareness to your sex life is sure to kill that kind of "i'm above emotions" bs cause you'll be conscious of what you're feeling and won't lie to yourself about it

"I have enlightened and evolved attitudes towards sex" is pretty much code for "I just want to get my rocks off and then leave", surely?

-- Matt DC, Wednesday, April 2, 2008 11:23 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

yeah usually when going thru the motions of this sort of thing you + the other person have some sort of meeting of the minds conversation like 'i dont know why why ppl make such a big deal about this lol' regardless of whether or not your heart is really in it. you're just signifying 'yeah we could do it'

fuck buddy or not. there is no try.

Every 'fuck buddy' I've ever had was the result of both of us being pretty good friends but not really into each other enough to go out and of being bereft of any other romantic prospects. As such, they were usually boring 'maintenance' sex.

yeah i mean people who say that they're "above emotional connection" or whatevs are dbags looking to get their rocks off

btw this is the part where someone w/a good memory finds my emo post from 2 years ago about being "above emotional connections"

m white those would be friends w/benefits not fuck buddies - just to be clear

just saying -- setting boundaries and making arrangements and making sure that everyone understands what everyone else wants out of whatever sexual arrangement and that no one gets hurt unintentionally requires WAY MORE discussion, negotiation, open communication, what-have-you, than most people are willing to engage in -- mostly because such logistical discussions aren't very sexy and can often cause negative boners.

also because in real life there are no rules

i dont believe half the ads on craigslist are real. or maybe i dont WANT to believe half the ads on craigslist are real.

this one is just weird.

http://london.craigslist.co.uk/cas/616173479.html

i just gotta say that being all "yeah we fuck, no big deal, right? we're cool" when you're really feeling "oh i can't help but feel close to you, why can't i tell you that my feelings towards you are changing" is the WORST, from either perspective. AWKWARD AHOY.

yah but sometimes you just gotta go w/best option available

if you maintain or at least attempt to maintain awareness of the consequences of your actions, rather than trying to bone whatever looks good whenever you can get it, you're more likely to stay happy and be satisfied.

That's what I thought too when I was your age, son...

To be more honest, in my experience being fuck buddies is a choice two sensible can make just to have some fun and pleasure. It doesn't mean they have to be emotionless, sex-driven jerks. If someone thinks this is always the case, then they're taking sex too seriously. It can be either part of a deep relationship or just a bit of fun, it's not like you have to choose one or the other and stick with that for the rest of your life.

Is there a way not to be "above emotional connection" but "above possession"? You can go out to dinner with friends on a Thursday night and then not be preoccupied with how and with whom they're spending their time on a Friday night. Are we just not hardwired to do this when sex is involved -- or if we are capable of it, is there a big difference between whether or not we're affection/sexual with that Thursday-night friend?

I had this one fuck buddy, and it was clear that we had enough in common that we could be friends, but neither of us needed a new friend, so we just had sex instead.

I have this friend now who really ought to be a fuck buddy but we don't fuck anymore (and haven't for a long, long time), which apparently is mostly because, eh, it's just easier not to, I guess. But it's not as if we've started hanging out more as friends, either.

Anyway of course it's "normal" but that doesn't mean it's "common", if that's what you're asking, although it might be "common", I am not in a position to run the numbers.

it really depends on how you feel - some consider thursday to be the weekend

Eazy, if you're in a situation with someone you have a mutual emotional (on some level) connection with, and a sexual relation which you feel "possessive" over but your partner does not, for your partner is out sleeping with other people and not particularly giving you details about this, you might perhaps eventually come to the realization that there is no point in complaining about your situation, since you're having some level of emotional and sexual connection, and... it's sort of a "problems of the rich" situation, you realize that you've got a pretty sweet deal and you could choose to enjoy it rather than complain about it.

I mean, I've been in relationships that have sour dynamics because of codepdency/possessiveness/etc. that turn afterwards into healthy friendships because of the lack of dependence. A lot of these are eventually platonic (and always so once they're in another relationship), but sometimes there's a best-of-both-worlds of being meaningful to someone (and having the emotional and physical connection) without the expectations (in the negative sense) that comes with having the role of THE significant other, veruss part of a constellation of friends.

In my opinion it is possible to care about someone and even have sex with here without getting too possessive of her, though it depends on the person. But for many people not getting possessive seems to be quite hard regardless of whom they're having sex with. So maybe for them it is better not to have fuck buddies. I just hope they don't think there's something wrong with those people who can have fuck buddies without this possession thing getting in the way.

it really depends on how you feel - some consider thursday to be the weekend

-- jhøshea, Wednesday, 2 April 2008 16:38 (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

whereas others consider it "buddy fucking day"

This can be a fine role for Thursday night. You go into the weekend with lower needs and expectations. You can go to a cocktail party and enjoy the cocktails and conversation, go to a rock show and enjoy the band; Thursday night took care of you.

maybe u just want to fuck more than ever now

also because in real life there are no rules

-- jhøshea, Wednesday, April 2, 2008 9:30 AM (40 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

^^ great tagline for a movie

lol i have actually said this to someone trying to set boundaries pre-consummation - lol waht a douche - although just the "there are no rules" part - prepending "in real life" likely wouldve guaranteed failure

this is some perverted woman sharing Gor shit clothed in enlightenment and evolution

snorkels?

If Spitzer had a Thursday-night vakipano, he would still be a master crimefighter.

...and would have an extra $60,000 to spend on diverting his family on Thursday nights.

cosby nite

Hykersexuals gay g.f.a.m.

o rly?

i dont believe half the ads on craigslist are real. or maybe i dont WANT to believe half the ads on craigslist are real.

this one is just weird.

http://london.craigslist.co.uk/cas/616173479.html

-- mr x, Thursday, 3 April 2008 02:30 (5 hours ago) Bookmark Link

HI, COUPLE HERE FROM NORTH LONDON/ SOUTH HERTS.
WIFE LIKES TO BE MASSAGED BUT MY HANDS ARE NOT GOOD.
SHE HAS A SORE BACK AND NEEDS SOMEONE WHO WILL RUB HER BACK FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR.
HUBBY WILL BE PRESENT. I WILL BRING A BOOK ALONG.
YOU MUST BE ABLE TO ACCOMADATE IN OUR AREA OR CLOSE BY.
LOOKING FOR OLDER GUYS,50 PLUS. LOOKS AND RACE UNIMPORTANT, BUT MUST BE GOOD WITH YOUR HANDS.
LOOKING FOR A DATE SATURDAY COMING.
NOT A TIME WASTING ADD, WE ARE GENUINE.

HUBBY WILL BE PRESENT. I WILL BRING A BOOK ALONG.
HUBBY WILL BE PRESENT. I WILL BRING A BOOK ALONG.
HUBBY WILL BE PRESENT. I WILL BRING A BOOK ALONG.
HUBBY WILL BE PRESENT. I WILL BRING A BOOK ALONG.
HUBBY WILL BE PRESENT. I WILL BRING A BOOK ALONG.
HUBBY WILL BE PRESENT. I WILL BRING A BOOK ALONG.