washing machine traumas

You want "D".

The pump on my machine didn't work, so I had it fixed. The plumber pointed out that one of the inlet hoses wasn't working, but came up with a cheap and simple solution - fit a Y-piece to allow both inlets to draw from the cold pipe.

So i gets my Y-piece. Oh no! The stopcock is broken! I know - with the help of my flatmate's strong boyfriend we can slip the Y-piece on with the water still live - we may get a bit splattered but it'll be okay...

WRONG

Kids. Never allow high-pressure mains water to pump full force into your flat for 20 minutes unless pretty fucking sure you can turn it off.

In my old house we got through five washing machines in the space of nineteen months. They were always breaking down mid-cycle and on numerous occasions I had to drag piles of part-washed sopping clothes out of the washing machine and take them down the road to the laundrette to complete the process. The problem was my landlord's fault. He would never buy a new washing machine but simply bought second hand ones from his mates. He did not seem to realise the money and time he was wasting by doing this.

Plugging in these washing machines was really strange too. They used to live in the plywood lean-to which my landlord had constructed at the back of the house to act as a workshop. There was no electricity supply in there so we had to thread the flex through the catflap in what had been the back door and plug it in at the socket in the kitchen. If you are worried about the fate of the poor moggies who had no means to exit the house then your fears are unfounded. My landlord had no cats. The previous occupant had five.

It kept getting worse and moving further out into the kitchen every time. My flatmate and I were trying to fix it, when it suddenly went into overdrive and SHOT across the kitchen so fast that Lucy and I had to jump out of the way. It then embeded itself in the door of the cooker, making a huge dent.

Heard a story about how Glenn Danzig was washing some laundry on the road or near his apartment or something, only to realize that some pack of 16th century Tibetan tarot cards etc. was still in the set of black jeans currently being scrubbed. Cue frantic opening of machine, water and suds everywhere, abuse from the laundromat attendant...

Name Bosko Balaban
Team Aston Villa
Total Appearances 0
Starts 0
Substituted 0
Total Minutes Played 0
Avg Minutes Played Per Start 0
Goals 0
Avg Goal Mins When Starting 0.0
Avg Mins Played/Goal Scored 0
Goals Scored As Sub 0
Number of Bookings 0
Total Booking Minutes 0
Avg Bookings Per Start 0
Number of Red Cards 0
Total Red Card Minutes 0
Avg Red Cards Per Start 0
Avg Booking Minutes When Starting 0.0

Frontloader trauma. Never used one till I arrive in the US last week. Where do I put the detergent - straight into the tub? And what's the door at the top that's locked?

lol i have this problem at my parents' house. the door is for the detergent. should be some little thing you slide over to unlock it.

ILX is awash (ho fucking ho) with washing-machine threads. I'm surprised I haven't posted on this one before.

The door on top probably just needs a magic twist or something.

No, it seems to be totally locked. I can see the little metal thing in the hole but no way to release it. This is really very annoying - I'm going to have to email the last tenant and ask... anyway, good to know that's where the detergent goes.

Ha!! Brute force worked! I pinged the little metal thing out of the way, and.... it's a drier!! So, does that mean the detergent does just get poured straight into the toploader directly onto the clothes/before the clothes?

Those combo washer/driers are black magic if you ask me.

This one takes up most of the kitchen.

It took us over a week to figure out our washer/drier combo, partly because the instructions seemed to be for a different model. Damn thing sounds like someone amplifying a bone saw when it starts the drying cycle.

Oh man, I covet one of those LG washer/drier dealies. Mind you it'd send my elec bill soaring, so I should just stick with clothes on the drying rack.

Ive had multiple washing machine flood disasters in my last flat. Something like 4 or 5 times all up. It was because, like in many flats in this region, they'll stick a set of washing machine taps in the bathroom wall, so they can say "has washing machine facilities!" with no mind to where the water is then going to *exit*. I had mine feeding into the (rather shallow) shower cubicle. You can imagine how easily the hose snaked out of the shower and sprayed all over the floor/the drain blocked and backed up water everywhere/someone plumb forgot to put the outlet hose into the shower, etc etc etc

Now I have a proper laundry. Bliss.

wat

Ok.

i love the washing machines here: they get your clothes vaguely damp and then swirl it around for like 3 hours

— John Ganz (@lionel_trolling) September 8, 2023