BRITISH "LADS" MAGAZINE POLL

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Poll Results

OptionVotes
Esquire 5
GQ 4
Arena 3
FHM 2
Loaded 2
Nuts 2
Stuff1
Zoo 0
Front 0
Maxim 0


Dom Passantino, Monday, 7 April 2008 10:40 (seventeen years ago)

Fuck RYM for not letting me include this image:

http://rateyourmusic.com/misc/link_image?album_id=163252&image_hotlinked

Dom Passantino, Monday, 7 April 2008 10:40 (seventeen years ago)

FHM and Loaded are the only two I've really ever read, and FHM beats Loaded easy.

chap, Monday, 7 April 2008 10:44 (seventeen years ago)

No option for "all of these magazines should be closed down next week, and all of the people responsible for publishing them should be repeatedly kicked in the nutsack forever", otherwise, top poll.

Pashmina, Monday, 7 April 2008 10:45 (seventeen years ago)

Did early-days Loaded have that many redeeming features, really? I remember it being pretty good but I was 15, 16 at the time (which didn't stop me from finding FHM near-unreadable)

DJ Mencap, Monday, 7 April 2008 10:46 (seventeen years ago)

I'm not sure the 'If You Buy This Magazine Your Life Will Be That Little Bit More Like Daniel Craig's' titles quite fit in here but it's not my poll.

Matt DC, Monday, 7 April 2008 10:46 (seventeen years ago)

Bizarre had some good articles, I'm told.

Free Peace Sweet!, Monday, 7 April 2008 10:47 (seventeen years ago)

I bought a copy of Esquire a few months back because it had a photoshoot with the secretary from Ugly Betty in a pencil skirt. I should probably be shot.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 7 April 2008 10:47 (seventeen years ago)

Can I borrow it?

Tom D., Monday, 7 April 2008 10:48 (seventeen years ago)

Bizarre had some good articles, I'm told.

-- Free Peace Sweet!, Monday, 7 April 2008 11:47 (11 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

http://d.yimg.com/eur.yimg.com/ng/sp/empics/4947999

Dom Passantino, Monday, 7 April 2008 10:48 (seventeen years ago)

Bizarre had some good articles, I'm told.

-- Free Peace Sweet!, Monday, 7 April 2008 10:47 (22 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

Yeah, I'm told there's some scots lad who interviews cult film directors for them from time to time.

Pashmina, Monday, 7 April 2008 10:49 (seventeen years ago)

Can I borrow it?

-- Tom D., Monday, 7 April 2008 11:48 (13 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

http://www.popcrunch.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/05088beckinewton122986ltn1.jpg

Dom Passantino, Monday, 7 April 2008 10:49 (seventeen years ago)

Would run up on that SO hard.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 7 April 2008 10:50 (seventeen years ago)

Which of these is the absolute bottom of the barrel again, is it Front or Stuff?

Matt DC, Monday, 7 April 2008 10:50 (seventeen years ago)

Front.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 7 April 2008 10:51 (seventeen years ago)

Seriously, a wank rag for nu-rave kids.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 7 April 2008 10:51 (seventeen years ago)

"DIGGING DIVORCE" was written by James Brown and is one of those "Area Sociologist Believes Own Behaviour Indicative Of Larger Trends" pieces that nobody in their right mind would ever read.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 7 April 2008 10:52 (seventeen years ago)

GQ and esquire sometimes have decent articles.

nuts and fhm usually have some decent breasts.

mr x, Monday, 7 April 2008 10:53 (seventeen years ago)

I'm kind of amazed they're still publishing Loaded, it seems such a relic of its time now. A lads mag hasn't actually folded in years has it? Although presumably Maxim isn't long for this world.

Matt DC, Monday, 7 April 2008 10:53 (seventeen years ago)

king and smooth usually have some nice asses.

mr x, Monday, 7 April 2008 10:53 (seventeen years ago)

A lads mag hasn't actually folded in years has it?
-- Matt DC, Monday, 7 April 2008 11:53 (42 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

Ice?

Dom Passantino, Monday, 7 April 2008 10:54 (seventeen years ago)

Oh yeah, I forgot that one existed.

Matt DC, Monday, 7 April 2008 10:55 (seventeen years ago)

if uk vers of gk is not any diff than the us vers it has some good features if you can get past its writers always talking about being in spain this summer and paris that summer and brazil on this vacation and getting this great shampoo there blah blah

J0rdan S., Monday, 7 April 2008 10:56 (seventeen years ago)

"Loaded, it seems such a relic of its time now"

tits dont date.

mr x, Monday, 7 April 2008 10:57 (seventeen years ago)

gq* :/ xxp

J0rdan S., Monday, 7 April 2008 10:57 (seventeen years ago)

Although presumably Maxim isn't long for this world.

-- Matt DC, Monday, April 7, 2008 5:53 AM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

i'm pretty sure maxim is the king of this list-- def in the US at least

J0rdan S., Monday, 7 April 2008 10:58 (seventeen years ago)

tho GQ and esquire aim for the older "lad" i assume

J0rdan S., Monday, 7 April 2008 10:58 (seventeen years ago)

In the US yes, in the UK its sinking like a stone.

Interestingly the Stuff magazine website is pretty much all gadgets and nothing else. I presume they just put the bikini-clad woman on the front to make people feel less embarrassed about reading a magazine purely for the article on SatNav systems or whatever?

Matt DC, Monday, 7 April 2008 10:58 (seventeen years ago)

Dom watches Ugly Betty?

Yeah, well, we all knew he was gay.

King Boy Pato, Monday, 7 April 2008 10:59 (seventeen years ago)

I don't watch it, I just want to fuck the receptionist.

I used to love with a fashion designer.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 7 April 2008 11:00 (seventeen years ago)

*live.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 7 April 2008 11:00 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.uploadthis.co.uk/uploads/Under_ware/YouBeBackpedallingFool.jpg

King Boy Pato, Monday, 7 April 2008 11:06 (seventeen years ago)

Bizarre had some good articles, I'm told.

-- Free Peace Sweet!, Monday, 7 April 2008 10:47 (22 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

Yeah, I'm told there's some scots lad who interviews cult film directors for them from time to time.

-- Pashmina, Monday, 7 April 2008 10:49 (19 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I no longer read this since their scarf-porn correspondent got the push.

Raw Patrick, Monday, 7 April 2008 11:12 (seventeen years ago)

The only one of these mags I ever see is Nuts coz people at work buy it, but bored as I am I still can't be bothered to open it.

Raw Patrick, Monday, 7 April 2008 11:15 (seventeen years ago)

Is Felix Dennis's internet lads mag still going?

Raw Patrick, Monday, 7 April 2008 11:15 (seventeen years ago)

Self-confessed (maybe) murderer Felix Dennis, call him by his name.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 7 April 2008 11:17 (seventeen years ago)

I think I have read a copy of it (x-post, Bizarre) once in my life, I can't remember much about it, maybe there was something about that european castle that was in "eurotrash" that's run by dominatrixes and you can pay mad scrilla to go there and get treated like shit and get forced to do running repairs on the structure of the place BEST EVER MONEY-MAKING SCAM i WISH I'D THOUGHT OF IT. Maybe that was in "The Observer" magazine, though, I can't remember.

Pashmina, Monday, 7 April 2008 11:19 (seventeen years ago)

They didn't hoof you from Bizarre as well did they, Dom?

Pashmina, Monday, 7 April 2008 11:19 (seventeen years ago)

You forgot the most read LADS MAG in the country:

http://www.shortlist.com/

It has a Danny Wallace column.

onimo, Monday, 7 April 2008 11:25 (seventeen years ago)

Shortlist versus SPORT. There's a battle for the ages.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 7 April 2008 11:31 (seventeen years ago)

That Danny Wallace column constantly goes into italics for no real reason.

Raw Patrick, Monday, 7 April 2008 11:32 (seventeen years ago)

SPORT isn't bad for a free mag given out at stations.

Matt DC, Monday, 7 April 2008 11:38 (seventeen years ago)

I love the way Nuts tries to vary shit. One week, it's 'The Naked Issue'. Then the 'Big Boobs Issue'. Or the 'Topless Issue'.

And last week's came with a 'Bumper Book of Boobs'.

gnarly sceptre, Monday, 7 April 2008 17:19 (seventeen years ago)

And I loved one recent cover where the main story was 'INSIDE: [model's name] shows us her boobs!'

gnarly sceptre, Monday, 7 April 2008 17:22 (seventeen years ago)

basic

gnarly sceptre, Monday, 7 April 2008 17:22 (seventeen years ago)

Can't stand these mags. If only there was some other, cheaper way to look at girlie pictures.

Bodrick III, Monday, 7 April 2008 18:00 (seventeen years ago)

Nuts and Zoo are at the bottom of the pile here. Arena used to be a reasonable magazine, but I haven't seen a copy in over ten years, so perhaps it isn't now. I'd feel embarrassed about buying any of these in a newsagents. I'd probably have to slip one inside a copy of Razzle or something.

snoball, Monday, 7 April 2008 20:21 (seventeen years ago)

I read a copy of FHM recently and found it mostly OK. This means it might have some merit past pictures of tits, though I am a (straight) girl and thusly might have my priorities a bit wrong in this regard.

ailsa, Monday, 7 April 2008 20:24 (seventeen years ago)

This is basically my point. If you want porn, buy a porn mag. If you want a men's magazine, buy... er... oh shit...

snoball, Monday, 7 April 2008 20:26 (seventeen years ago)

A lads mag hasn't actually folded in years has it?
-- Matt DC, Monday, 7 April 2008 11:53 (42 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

Ice?

-- Dom Passantino, Monday, 7 April 2008 10:54 (8 hours ago) Bookmark Link

In a shameless plug for my thread you can see some first edition covers of Loaded and Bizarre here...
This is the thread where I post the front covers of magazines I collected from the 90s, mostly now defunct.

As well as the long forgotten Deluxe ('For Men')

Ned Trifle II, Monday, 7 April 2008 20:34 (seventeen years ago)

Generally, they all 'jumped the shark' when they realised the issues with a girli on front sold better than with anything else on the front. If I recall, one of them went with a 'look, not a girli BUY IT PLZ otherwise we have to go girlifrontcover FOREVER!!'

Guess it didn't sell.

It could be that the general quality has dropped, it could be that after a while they tell you nothing new and just repeat what was said before. It could be that Lucy Pinder is not sexy in my opinion.

Loaded had a playfulness at the time that was different/new.
Maxim 'broke' a new market that other mags either sprung up in its wake, or rebranded themselves to suit (bit like Punk in 1976 then!)

Loaded's last brilliant moment was having one month with fifty different covers (ranging from Basil Brush, Teletubbies, The Jam, blimey who else?), but shot itself in the foot and jumped the shark from that moment. I mean, how do you top that?

I havent bought any of them for a very long time.

Mark G, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 09:03 (seventeen years ago)

I'm not sure the 'If You Buy This Magazine Your Life Will Be That Little Bit More Like Daniel Craig's' titles quite fit in here but it's not my poll.

-- Matt DC, Monday, April 7, 2008 11:46 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

lols they totally do. i did a thread where i had to buy a copy of nuts for an art project (not mine); anyway, also purchased as part of this were copies of other lads' mags (and i think an old copy of 'the erotic review'). aaaaanyhoo, they're ALL the SAME, except, yes, the girls in gq and esquire are that little bit more cokey and unattainable, and the writers are even more insufferable jerks.

james brown gave me props once, a loooooong time ago. his article sounds AWFUL.

banriquit, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 21:18 (seventeen years ago)

The last issue of Arena I saw, which might be the current one, had Joe Calzaghe on the cover and barely a pair of breasts in sight. For a second I was impressed but on the other hand I didn't read a single word of it.

Esquire has shifted 'upmarket' a bit to capture that 'too guilty even to buy GQ' market, I think this translates to 'putting a black and white section in the middle and alternating Daniel Craig or Jose Mourinho* covers with retro-arty covers featuring Anna Friel or Scarlett Johansson that might have been risque in 1953'. Once again I never bother to actually read it.

*Only football manager they would ever put on the cover.

Matt DC, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 21:27 (seventeen years ago)

Jewell might make the step up now.

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 21:28 (seventeen years ago)

Too rapey, let GQ have him.

Matt DC, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 21:28 (seventeen years ago)

sure nuts and zoo have MORE tits -- the number they have is insane. perhaps i'm in denial about the existence of the kind of person who would buy gq to read it.

banriquit, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 21:31 (seventeen years ago)

People like to have pictures to look at on trains isn't it?

Noodle Vague, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 21:33 (seventeen years ago)

Petridis, Piers, and AA Gill: in the same mag!

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 21:33 (seventeen years ago)

I'm voting for Stuff because I don't know what that is, but I know what all the others are.

AlanSmithee, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 21:49 (seventeen years ago)

"Stuff" is gizmos.

I don't have that kind of spare cash!

Mark G, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 08:13 (seventeen years ago)

"Stuff" is in the same bracket as "T3" and several other magazines that feature on their covers a woman wearing a bikini holding a super complex new mobile phone.

snoball, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 14:09 (seventeen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

ILX System, Saturday, 12 April 2008 23:01 (seventeen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

ILX System, Sunday, 13 April 2008 23:01 (seventeen years ago)

ILX is some classy guys.

Bodrick III, Sunday, 13 April 2008 23:12 (seventeen years ago)


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