LADIES have you ever rubbed one out at work?

I voted yes

Goddamn you.

lock thread.

cock thread

crutblocked

would the appropriate lady-phrase be "rub one in"? q.v. "jilling off" which i understand the motivation for such a phrase but is kinda lame?

The moment a woman admits to having done this on this thread, you will see an immediate, marked, temporary decline in male posting.

For about 5 minutes, right?

"Flickin' the bean", elmo?

WORK THAT VAJAYJAY

yeah i'm not very schooled in this sort of thing

i do not think any of these are in popular usage...

"Dialing the rotary phone" is evocative and amusing, though. :)

i always understood "fap" to be the appropriate euphemism

The moment a woman admits to having done this posts on this thread, you will see an immediate, marked, temporary decline in male posting.

I don't think it'll be difficult to make sure that never happens.

particularly if we start calling up phrases like "wrist-deep in roast beef"

no, you'll see no change at first but over time you'll notice male posters are more likely to agree with, excelsiorize, and attempt faps with this theoretical female poster.

kenanpaws

This thread is starting to smell like Turbo.

attempt faps

lol

I keep hearing this thread's title in my head as said by Adam Horovitz

This thread is starting to smell like Turbo.

possibly Sex Panther.

(ok, that's my second Anchorman reference before lunch, no more today.)

i hate to go all tuomas on you guys, but do you guys mean like shoving a dildo up one's snatch? or just masturbating? cause if you mean the former no. if you mean the latter, well, no to that either. sorry to disappoint you.

(masturbating as in using my finger)

fuck this sleep deprivation, i get all scattered brainiac. :-(

This thread is frot with peril.

'frot'?

frot frot frot

no no no FAP FAP FAP dude

typig wit on hasnd?/

This thread is starting to smell like Turbot

FYP

SORRY

'frot'?

ugh. Rugburn.

if i see frot i'm thinking of rubbing my delonghi machine again until it comes (ejects a latte for me)

frot frot frot is for when you grind up on the corner of the xerox machine

ejacu-latte

y'know, i was very close to that when i drank my first latte (from the new machine) this morning.
if i don't hold myself, i'm going to mention my delonghi in every single post from now on.

you should nickname your delonghi 'tynan'

tynan tynan frot frot frot

Ah, so you bought the DeLonghi. Now this thread is about two of my favorite things.

i did. my husband was a bit "wtf" when it sank in how much it cost. we're not big coffee drinkers. hah. but man i needed a machine that makes me lattes.

:( I have had to get off the espresso (temporarily, I hope) because i've been way crazy jittery on it lately. I can still do coffee, but no... uh... foam. It's not the same.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frotteurism

I guess I'm the only one around here who spends a lot of time thinking about disused sexual terminology.

I've had to limit myself to one shot in the morning. They claim it's the same caffiene as a cup of coffee, but I think that's probably based on your old-fashioned pizza-joint style watery espresso and not the heavily-extracted kind I make.

kenan, i have to do decaf cause i'm breastfeeding the youngest. also i will never be able to have more than one cup a day unless i want a raging out of control migraine attack later on.

oilyrags, dude, that's not disused. it's one of my favourite words.

hurting, i think it's the same: doesn't matter how much water you add to it, it's just the same amount of caffeine, no?

Not how much water but how much pressure you're using. More pressure = more extraction from the grinds.

I think it hits you differently, harder, regardless.

Coffee:espresso::beer:a shot

In addition to the pressure your machine generates to begin with being a factor, you can generate additional pressure by 1) tamping harder, 2) grinding finer, and 3) (if you have a manual machine), bringing the lever down harder.

all this talk of pressure and tamping and pistons and levers... makes me want an espresso

> oilyrags, dude, that's not disused. it's one of my favourite words.

Faith in humanity: restored.

i'm off to rub my TYNAN.

I injudiciously ordered a "red eye" one morning recently (large coffee with two shots of espresso in it) and I was just a basketcase. Very awake, but nearly shaking and totally unfocused. I couldn't get any work done, and that's not what coffee is supposed to do.

mgs Caffeine per serving

Drip 115-175 (7 oz cup)
Espresso 100 1 serving (1-2oz)
Brewed 80-135 (7 oz cup)

Who the hell drinks a 7 oz. cup?

people who wanna "spew out" their shit as fast as possible.

Why is thread about coffee all of a sudden?

oh sorry... You have the floor. Please tell us all about female workplace masturbation habits.

;)

What the hell . . . once - years ago. I was alone in the office, really bored and we had a private bathroom. I guess that might not count because there was no one around, I might as well have been at home.

* adds above post the the list of things I will surely regret admitting on the interwebs *

Are you a female?

wow, i thought this thread would stay about coffee.

I am indeed female.

Coffee is an afro deziac.

erica is a trailblazer!

I'm sure there are others. They're probably just not stupid enough to admit to it.

I remember some story I read many years ago wherein some woman talks about masturbating thru her pants in the car while she was driving somewhere and I was all like, damn, that sounds convenient!

I learned from riding the school bus and looking out the windows that there are a lot of men out there who aren't afraid to just unzip and enjoy during their morning commute. A lot.

I have done that a couple of times at night, but this ain't the thread for that.

oh god, this is why i am happy that i only need to cross the street to get to work.
which is funny cause even that short distance: some tosser (hah!) wipped out his penis and masturbating.

"Why is thread about coffee all of a sudden?"

because that shit is awesome of course.

MASTURBATED. God...

NB: It's really difficult to keep the car both clean and uncrashed if you so dare to try it.

Steer with your knees, people.

My friend Steve used to be an expert at steering with his knees but that was from taking bong hits while driving not getting off.

I've had the driving wank (long drive, empty highway) but it's too complicated to be anything but a bit of a boredom killer. Dudes doing it in morning traffic, even next to school busses (!) obviously are getting a different kind of thrill out of it. Crepey to the extreme.

off topic, though.

Not to rat her out or nuffin but Roxy is another lady who enjoys herself at work as confessed on this thread. I was not searching for a wanking thread when I found it. Honest.

Dude y'all my never-touched blog is frotparty.blogspot.com ! Frotting is the funniest thing ever! (Funny bcz it is foreign and odd tho I doubt it would be a bucket of laffs were I its unwitting subject.)

Basically it is everything I enjoyed on ILX in 2006, reworded slightly. :(

Kind of wish you had a never-touched frog instead.

I knew a guy who used to drive around in his van and beat it all the time. He also used to go into public bathrooms with this other guy to do it a lot. But these are both for different threads I suppose...so...I'm off now...

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

guys, the appropriate term for female masturbation is "strumming the clit-ar"

fess up how many lolvotes from dudes

how many lol votes from ladies?

Yeah, I wanna know too because at least three of you gave me shit for being honest and I was about to say ha! see - there's loads of us but now I'm thinking that lots were boys.

you know, there's plenty of porn available from your computer if you look for it.

Results:
original poll: 51.4% rub
ladeez only poll: 77% rub

(with a huge margin of error based on my math)

9/11 changed everything ;(

I'll cop to being a "yes". But that's all I'm saying.

gross.

im questioning the validity of polls

I learned from riding the school bus and looking out the windows that there are a lot of men out there who aren't afraid to just unzip and enjoy during their morning commute. A lot.

still haunted by this tbh

It has a haunting quality.

The beauty of single person bathrooms?