Things you've done exactly once in your life

Be given birth to

posted on a Reverend thread

Been to a funeral. Sadly breaking that record today by attending my second.

also, fired a 12 gauge shotgun

Cheated on a test.
Cheated.

Posted to this thread on ILX.

^^^funny

been snarky to someone named 'fred nerk'

Had the top of my finger bitten off (i won't say what by, it's pathetic) and then sewed back on.
Lost my virginity.
Got a hole in one.
Cried because a girl kicked me in the nuts so hard.
Got arrested.
Hidden beetween sleepers and let a train go over me (was a dare others did it too).
Fell asleep on the job.

Got married

OMG not goodwin was the train thing scary? Were you tempted to move?

I couldn't have moved even if I'd had wanted to, I was frozen with fear, it was so loud and windy, hence the only doing it once. Please don't try this at home etc...

Been pulled over by a cop

Fallen headfirst down a flight of stairs.

Been arrested. Vomited over my desk at work. Broken my wrist. Bought a Smashing Pumpkins record. Been punched in the face.

These were all totally unrelated incidents.

you say that

been arrested

purchased ecstacy from a Vietnamese girl who got double 800s on the SAT

acid

received an award from the Daughters of the American Revolution

Did a handstand on a gym balance beam.

Gave me the fear, I quit gymnastics about a week later.

gone under general anaesthetic
vomited under a table at a bar
eaten a quart of ice cream in one sitting
gone to Worldcon

Lost my virginity.
Got a hole in one.
Cried because a girl kicked me in the nuts so hard.
Got arrested.
Hidden beetween sleepers and let a train go over me (was a dare others did it too).
Fell asleep on the job.

i'm imagining all of these happening chronologically in the same hour.

won a potato sack race
took second in a spelling bee
been arrested
peed my pants during a test
had my tubes tied

scored a touchdown playing organized football
gotten knocked the fuck out playing unorganized soccer

watched pr0n with other dudes in the room

Helicopter Ride!

Travelled from San Diego to the San Francisco Bay Area by submarine.

awesome^

MEDICAL SPECIAL
- Knocked myself unconscious running into a wall
- Cut bits of my hand off with a meat slicer (and I'm a vegetarian)*
- Had my appendix removed (without having appendicitis)
- Been told by a doctor: "FUCK, THAT will never heal!"
- Accidentally swallowed insecticide
- Set fire to own hair
- Fallen off a roof

*I had to specify the meat slicer, sadly, because it's not the only time I've cut bits of my hands off in general

I've knocked myself unconcious running into things more than once, ridiculously :/

rode my bike across Iowa
ecstasy

swam with sharks

interviewed donny osmond
had a hip replacement

caught a shark, fishing

(it was a baby shark)

talked about a bbq festival on Memphis local news

caught a shark, fisting

how exactly does a shark fist?

x-post -- once, when you were five

worn a tuxedo

caught a touchdown pass from JFK jr, r.i.p.

Eaten a meal that cost the same as my rent.

Been arrested...Bought a Smashing Pumpkins record

The one time I got arrested it was right before the Smashing Pumpkins started playing.

Breakfast with Marion Ross; lunch with Martha Plimpton; dinner with Christopher Durang.

wau

And late-night poker with Kim Deal.

was the durang dinner absurd?

Very, very un-zany. Quiet, friendly guy.

got robbed at gunpoint
jumped off a bridge on LSD
met Prince Charles
summited the Matterhorn
seduced a Hare Krishna guy

(not all in sequence, though that would be something)

DMT was disturbing and stationary. No elves for me, though.

RONG-O MOOSE

Is this some obscure Canadian cameltoe reference?

I can't say anything further about the pants without getting into a comparison of relative ass sizes so I'm going to whistle off to lunch.

oh sorry, we were about to talk about butts...

No worries. I merely assumed the ass talk reminded you of jail. ;)

I don't know, my boss says it. I think it's Rocky & Bullwinkle-related?

crack
swam in the Pacific Ocean
got married
beaten up by muggers
ignored trent reznor

ignored trent reznor

another one for me: snubbed prince philip.

the twat.

cocaine

whose that boy who dressed like a nazi and went to fight a war from england??

My hero with th' thin blood

auditioned for a commercial
drank Wild Turkey
sweet-talked my way through Cuban customs

I don't know, my boss says it. I think it's Rocky & Bullwinkle-related?

Nah, not that moose.

Take it from me, the kind of solid marriage material that owns 111 episodes on DVD. :/

I have a box set of Rocky & Bullwinkle, too; birthday gift.

I puked off this bridge once:
http://www.michigan.gov/images/bridge_166545_7.jpg

That's taking forever loading but please tell me it's the Mackinac?

Ah phooey.

oh, puked in the mississippi river at 11 a.m. to the horror and/or delight of some sorority girl tourists nearby.

More puke stuff- I threw up in a trash can in a club once.

related to my last one: been to new orleans.

worked in a factory (when I was about 13)

auditioned as an extra (Fargo)
dated a married woman
been sick drunk
spent a week in the loony bin

been off of North America

posted to ILX!

That's taking forever loading but please tell me it's the Mackinac?

Sadly no indeed. But now I have a new goal for some upcoming Labor Day weekend.

Always glad to help out a Yooper.

i keep reading this as "things you've done exactly right in your life". that would be a much harder thread.

I have a box set of Rocky & Bullwinkle, too; birthday gift.

I have so much rocky and bullwinkle, there's no way i've watched it all. It's like 900,000 hours or something. Season 2 has 52 episodes, all by itself. It is possible, though, that I have watched every installment of Fractured Fairy Tales or whatever the WABAC machine was up to. But see, that's a goal to be achieved. I'm not yet done isolating myself from modern society with these dvds! Woohoo!

Had dinner with David Attenborough
Pissed in an alleyway
Paid good money to see 'Transformers'

swam a rapid

CRACK

Been in the same room with Hunter S. Thompson and Ken Kesey.

herion
skied (sp?)
puked from laughing too hard
threesome
eaten moose (also deer and dog)

oh - i can add dj'ing to my list too.

Stole my bf's fries while he was in the middle of eating them, and threw them box and all over the railing into a river.

I don't know why.

zuh?

Hey I was drunk.

gotten a lapdance
taken a survey
watched an entire superbowl
been hugged by jason forrest

Been caught wanking by my grandmother

i love throwing things into rivers

Buried a parent.
Been carried around a room by Evan Dando.
Been searched for drugs by police.
Critiqued the Sunday papers on BBC News 24.
Heckled the serving coach of the Minnesota Vikings.
Shared credit for lyrics on a song with Kim Gordon.
Dissed a Tory MP for her insufficient appreciation of feminism while on a discussion panel.

<3 jhos knows the score.

Been yelled at by a policeman for crossing train tracks by foot.

Been to Wyoming
Been to Colorado

marriage/procreation
surgery
handcuffs

Caught peeing in a hedge by police

asked 5-0 to show me id.

this was quite plucky for a drunk 17-y-o

Written and sent a love letter.

Been in hospital

Had my left lens removed from my eye.
Had my right lens removed from my eye.

Been caught wanking by my grandmother
i laughed so much at this, it made my hangover go!

Been stabbed, stabbed someone who stabbed me with their knife!

whoah!

that requires elaboration!