lap dancing clubs - what is the point?

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To-day there is an article in thee "Guardian" abt a new lapdancing club that has opened in harrogate, yorkshire england. Reading it, I wonder if there is something wrong with me. I am a mainly het male. I like wimmin & find them attractive (physically & other stuff too) yet the idea of frequenting such an establishment is so alien to me that it may well be some concept thought up by locusts or praying mantises. Trying to understand/empathise, I come up w/thee phollowing scenario:

One goes to the lap dancing club, where one finds there are hot wimmin wandering around. One of them approaches you, and appears to be very pleasant & interested in one etc. One goes w/her to a secluded corner, where she dances in a rude manner & takes her clothes off. One feels aroused. However, the one thing one cannot have sex w/her. It is against the rules. What is the point? I cannot understand the mindset that would lead a man to such a place. If one was in a relationship, one would never dare tell one's partner, b/c they would righty mock U. If one was lonely, surely one would feel all the lonlier when one went home w/o the young womyn who one had spent time with. Yet such places apparently are popular. I believe there is one in Newcastle. I understand that it you are a young womyn w/an outgoing personality, & a streak of exhibitionism, yiou can make a lot of money in such a place, but really, I can't help but think there is nothing good about all this....

― Norman Phay, Saturday, 16 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

after you pay, young womyn bites yr head entirely off in one go => club is run by praying mantises

― mark s, Saturday, 16 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

But Mark, that's Norman's complaint: he didn't even get to have sex with her first!

I prefer the sort where after you pay all the women swarm over you and eat your flesh => that is the sort of club run by locusts.

― xwerxes, Saturday, 16 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Personally I prefer the clubs where they wrap you up in a web and then........oh, forget it.

― Ally C, Saturday, 16 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Spiderman clubs?

― Nicole, Saturday, 16 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I find it bizarre how the average male who pays to have his cock teased wouldn't hesitate to insult a date for doing the same thing -- or less, even.

― Andy K, Saturday, 16 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Norman is on the money here.

I don't see the appeal at all. To be honest I'd feel like a total saddo going to a lap dancing club. My friends often suggest it and I tend to make fun of them, I mean it seems like such a dirty old man thing to do. I realise this seems snobby, but I just can't shake that image of lap dancing clubs. I mean I'm 18, if I really want some action, I'm sure if I make enough effort (low cut tops etc) I can get it. But I don't want some action 90 percent of the time. Eh....again perhaps this is unusual, but there you go.

I'm sure to those of you that can see the appeal, this is all total mentalism, but I can't. I really should be posting about how me and all my friends have been trying to get in for years to every lapdancing club in Dublin.......but it's not the case.

― Ronan, Sunday, 17 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

There was a small feature in one of our local weeklies that seems relevant here, so I thought I'd point you to it. A comedic pro-stripping rant (part of a larger feature on our local alcohol policies):

http://www.thestranger.com/current/booze.html

― Ron, Sunday, 17 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Have the Guardian group got shares in lapdancing clubs or something? There's a Lynn Barber int w/ P. Stringfellow in today's Observer also talking abt table-dancing clubs.

― Andrew L, Sunday, 17 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yes, I saw that. It tends to bolster my point up above, I think.

― Norman Phay, Sunday, 17 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

And did you notice the way P Stringfellow had arranged his dressing gown thing to teasingly reveal just a little inner thigh on the front cover? (I assume he chose this deshabille himself as am guessing no- one else would choose it).

I know bugger all about this, and Mr Fay's sceptical reading of the lap-dancing made me laugh and glad, but maybe too focused on individual psychology? How much is visiting lap dancing establishment caught up in peer pressure/male bonding?

― Ellie, Sunday, 17 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The entire point of a lapdance is to indulge a meaningnless fantasy in a meaningless manner. Also, the sleaze factor is part of the turn- on. (NOTE: I haven't been to one of these places since I've been married.)

― Dan Perry, Sunday, 17 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I can't bear reading Stringfellow articles but Isabel read it and said he seemed "sweet". There is a lot of peer-pressure in the lap- dancing thing since they seem to have become acceptable places to take business contacts - they're seen as spicy but not sleazy. The no- touching thing sanitises them and makes them 'respectable'.

― Tom, Sunday, 17 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I am *so* glad I don't have to deal with such business contacts. The whole idea of going to one of those places with a load of people I'm supposed to have some sort of a professional relationship with gives me the heebie-jeebies.

― RickyT, Sunday, 17 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Haha I don't have to either, I'm not "client-facing" enough. And thankfully clients don't actually say RIGHT TAKE ME TO A LAPDANCE CLUB either, it's usually a 'bonding' exercise after the official client entertainment ends. So I've never gone to one, let alone on business time, though I know it goes on.

― Tom, Sunday, 17 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

When I was 16 my friend JUstin used to do fake ID's by heating and undoing the laminate on driver's licenses and inserting a computer- font generated number on top of the original year of birth....thus a foolproof ID because of no resemblance problems.....had to have a license in the first place though......so this girl named Charm(aine) in our grade gets her license, and immediately asks Justin to do hers, he does, she pays him the usual 20, it's done.......2 weeks later the buzz around the smoke pit is that Charm was straight-up peeling at the Paramount and her mom found out, pulled her out and was raising hell......hahaha, no big surprise in general though.....this chick used to sit in class and talk about how annoying meth burn was, making sure everyone could hear her.....she was rail-skinny but had varicose veins at 14, was the first goon to rock a Fubu dress in our school....haha, classic.....not as funny as that chick who got thunder-pimped by that KRS-One looking cat and had to change schools, but still pretty funny.....

Anyways, I'm with Norm......I haven't been to a peeler bar since highschool.......I love sluts and debauchery but I'm all about payoffs.......I'm not into looking at a prime badoonk and thinking "gee, I can never ever ever hit that, but I can sit here and laugh with my guy friends and maybe have a wank about it later on....oh its all so FUNNY!"......I ain't no mark......and I've experienced more than enough sleaze culture to be totally bored by a guaranteed tease-and-nothing-more.....unless there is even a minute possibily I get my junior wet, no point for me, total waste of time and money......oh, and corny slum-rush artsyfarts going to strip clubs to "immerse one's self in the dark, pulsing miasma of blah blah blah to find release and a better understanding of adult recreation in the new millenium!" seriously need to get bumrushed by a gang of chainsaws and maybe even that hidden camera you brought along you fucking herbs

― Ramosi, Sunday, 17 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

three months pass...

ok - now I have been a lap dancer for the whole of 5 days - so don't expect me to list a load of historical events, but i think the reason guys come to a place like my club varies. Sure, I've had perverts who clearly come to us, because you get arrested for standing in alleyways in a mac, but then I also have danced for birthday groups, couples & stag parties.

Okay - so back to the original question - why?

Why do we watch porn? It's a sexual thrill - a fantasy. Now imagine that gorgeous girl on the TV was doing that for you - on a personnal basis. She knows your name - She can see your reactions. She can speak to you & you can get so close that you can smell her. She is taking her clothes off just for you. Ok, so you can't touch her, but hey - you can't touch the ones on the video or magazine either.

I used to think places like these clubs were sleazy, but now i've been in a few & seen what goes on I would happily let my bloke have a lap dance - infact if he comes in my club I know just the girl I will recommend to him.

It's harmless fun - provided both parties respect each other. I understand that £10 the guy has just paid me for a 4 minute dance may have taken him 4 hours to earn after tax. I expect him to understand I am not a slag or easy. That sign which is displayed in the booth saying "No touching" means just that - I've not put it there to keep the police happy. I don't walk round the streets dressed like some of the 14 year olds I see nowadays. I don't sleep with every bloke that buys me a drink, or gives me his number like some of the girls i know (not dancers either).

I do however treat my clients as if they are gods. I listen to what they tell me - I show a genuine interest in them & their lives. I make them feel good about themselves & I have the time for them. Take one guy for example that I danced for this weekend - He walks into a local bar & stands next to the 21 year old cutie who is occupying the corner of the bar & sipping on a smirnoff ice, while waiting to be served. Without even looking at him she assumes he's after her body - like the thousands of other men that flock to her - and tells him to f*** off & calls him some personal insult which reminds him that perhaps he really should lose 8 stone, & drive a BMW & have a well paid job if he is to ever find any woman who would so much as speak to him. Then he comes to me - I'm honest & polite, I listen to his woes & I make him feel better. Rather than focusing on his "down side" I look for the positives about him. He's a sensitive guy, with gorgeous eyes & a cute smile. He's an animal lover & a loyal supporter of the local football team. I let him know that I find these things great about him & he is back on a high. By the time he leaves that club he's on cloud 9 & confident about himself. Isn't that worth £10 & an hour of his time? Doesn't that make my job worth while?

― Sal, Tuesday, 25 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

six years pass...

Controversial lap-dancing club burns down in suspected arson attack - just three weeks after it opened

"Personally I think they did it because they are anti-lapdancing - with some people it runs to a high passion. I compare it to the book burning in Berlin in 1939."

― Upt0eleven, Tuesday, 15 July 2008 11:48 (seventeen years ago)

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/07/15/article-0-01F48F6B00000578-274_233x423.jpg

^^^obviously a top level club attracting the best dancers around

― The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Tuesday, 15 July 2008 11:51 (seventeen years ago)

http://libcom.org/files/reichstag-fire_0.jpg

From the opposite angle.

― Matt DC, Tuesday, 15 July 2008 11:52 (seventeen years ago)

Reichstag Parties welcome

― Tom D., Tuesday, 15 July 2008 11:54 (seventeen years ago)

"you ain't seen me, right?"

http://cavenger.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/max-mosley.jpg

― blueski, Tuesday, 15 July 2008 11:58 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.posteritati.com/jpg/C4/CABARET%20POL%20R90s.JPG
(from that Polish movie poster site)

― snoball, Tuesday, 15 July 2008 12:00 (seventeen years ago)

73 Oxymoron alert: Erotic City/Boise.

The proprietors of the Erotic City strip club in Boise, Idaho, attempt to circumvent a local law banning nudity except for performances of "serious artistic merit" by distributing sketch pads and pencils to customers for twice-weekly G-string-free "art" nights. Local police raid the club, issuing misdemeanor citations.

― Abbott, Tuesday, 15 July 2008 17:46 (seventeen years ago)

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