Loo

I usually say "the office". Doing "research". Some very important "filing". Abusing many "euphamisms".

Anyone still say they're powdering their nose?

xoxo

ps I say bathroom, which is gutless (in Uk etiquette terms) but strangely safe. I should actually give this some stategic thought.

pps the Thomas Crapper story is a total urban myth.

Alternatively you can get very drunk and yell 'I am off for a slash' at the top of your voice to the assembled throng. Whatever.

Pete's method is for boors. I am ashamed to be associated with him.

Or say Bog. Bog's a good one.

When leaving the toilet just say, "I've just declared martial law".

When pressed on these sorts of things, however, reverting to the Americanism is the safest classlessist thing to do. I ask for "bathroom" or "ladies' room".

Are we gonna start talking about sofas vs. settees now, or can I just go and seek refuge on the couch?

This sounds like a charming song which I intend to teach my children. It doesn't scan though. I assume there is a line missing. Is the 'oh dear' line repeated before the Katie one?

This has all scarred me so much that I now live in a one-room flat and have done with it.

However, I cannot remember nor find the rest of the rhyme. I feel this is URGENT and KEY enough for Mr Dastoor to research.

Parlour - who says Parlour? Except in the grate song When Father Papered the Parlour (...we couldn't see him for paste / dabbing it here / dabbing it there / paste and paper everywhere / mother was stuck to the ceiling / the children were stuck to the floor / I've never seen a bloomin' family so stuck up before)

In the Classless Society that is the good old USA, some idiots refer to Comfort Stations (the same people that used to ask if their children, whom I babysat, had passed BM). My mother freaks out if I say toilet, preferring 'bathroom'. Grandparents always said 'washroom', the poshest of these said it warsh-room (but as you've probably inferred, this gran could have given William F Buckley a run for his money with her Locust Valley Lockjaw). In Britain, scatalogical terms/abbreviations for The Facilities are class markers, I've found. I say loo or toilet, depending on the company I keep. If I'm in a very posh house I find where it is before I need to use it, then just excuse myself. I actually know a posh woman from services family who says she's off to spend a penny. With friends, we try to be as gross as possible. I've taken my kids to the pool, parked my breakfast, taken a leak, and other impressive Jim Roylisms. Gawrbless Ricky Tomlinson!

the word is BOG.

This latter link has some terrible midi business going on for anyone who doesn’t know the tune.

This is my first attempt at the scary blue links. If they're wrong, I'm sorry.

I wonder if Hopkins, unlike most, will tell how he did the blue links.

<a href="http://www.nme.com">This</a> is a link to NME.

You should get:

This is a link to NME.

Voila! You have mastered making links. Just surround the text you want to link with the bracket tags and replace the NME URL with the URL for the page you want to have come up in the browser.

Lots more locked/caught in the lavatory action here< /a>, involving TWO separate versions, to keep everyone happy and SQUILLIONS of verses.

A bigger problem than what to call the lavatory is the danger of the locks on the doors at other people's houses e.g. most couples I know who live together have no lock on the door and have clearly lost any mystique in their relationship. But to inflict that on your guests is not on.

Mr Pinefox, how could you???

(blubs) x0x0

Gotta go ride the porcelain bus!

As for the other one, we sez "front room" for whot other ppl say "living room".

Parlour is reserved for TATTOO PARLOURS one of which my MA took me to today!!! HELP!

Maybe it's just carryover from WWII GI humor - where, incidently, using teh "head" had nothing to do with posh yachts.

BTW - It's a 'couch' if it's in the family room, sofa if it's in the living room (otherwise known as the 'museum' as no one every sits in there), a love seat if it only accomidates 2 people (versus 3 on a sofa).

'Nuff said?

Used to be. I think it's increasingly classless. Lavatory is antiquated genteel. Loo is modern genteel (and what used to be called 'sloaney' in the 80s).