Things that suck about London: A List

No Cuban Sandwiches

Not enough hills

http://hurryupharry.bloghouse.net/archives/wanker.jpg

More than a million Boris-voting morons live here.

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/41167000/jpg/_41167945_porter_bbc203.jpg

http://www.stuff.co.nz/images/700870.jpg

L TO THA O TO THA MOTHERLOVIN L

http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/2704_bnp.shtml

http://www.bromley.gov.uk/publicresources/images/bannerspring.jpg

The weather.

Everything costs 3x more than it should.

(98% of the) pizza.

http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200711/r200145_765759.jpg

http://www.royal-magazin.de/england/images/qmum/gb-queen-mum-greville-neck-.jpg

Bendy buses oh dear how terrible how will we all possibly get through our day?!

Clapham on a Friday or Saturday night.

Clapham on a Friday or Saturday night.

The lack of respect for the West.

http://www.dailywireless.org/images/up/cityoflondon.jpg

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/42722000/jpg/_42722513_wembley_aerial_pa_416.jpg

you've got all our best tramps.

all too often unable to get on a bus after work because of the overcrowding / hellish commuting experience for so many people

cranes and unattended roadworks everywhere

general lack of integration between cultures beyond service

the amount of discarded rubbish on London transport

particularly

http://i.thisislondon.co.uk/i/std/siteimages/til-header/londonlite-logo.gif
http://img.metro.co.uk/i/mastHead/logo_285x70.gif
http://www.thelondonpaper.com/nav_test/img/logo.gif

That this is our only citywide newspaper:

http://i.thisislondon.co.uk/i/std/siteimages/eveningstandard/new-header.jpg

http://i.thisislondon.co.uk/i/std/siteimages/eveningstandard/election/london-assembly-map-results.jpg

The inability of londoners to ease themselves into a seat on public transport. PILEDRIVERRRRRRR.

most pubs still close at 11 every night

^^ Why you're no longer an empire, btw.

The parks are full of cute girls but how can one enjoy then when any one of them may not have voted or voted for boris.

Tube stops running at midnight. I've only spent a month in London, but that is by far my biggest complaint.

Not coastal

I love the unattended cranes and building sites!

Tube stops running at midnight. I've only spent a month in London, but that is by far my biggest complaint.

Apparently this is because they need to spend all night mending it, as the whole system is creaking to an alarming degree.

people from zone 7 living in zone 2

You with your chorleywood hatred.

fuck a rickmansworth

Apparently this is because they need to spend all night mending it, as the whole system is creaking to an alarming degree.

don't worry, boris ill sort that.

will

the bakerloo line

C'mon Londoners, you can do better than this! Are you gonna let those spoiled New Yorkers get away with thinking their city sucks more than yours? Who the hell do they think they are?

http://www.guilleminot.org/mytravels/pictureslondon/camden-town.jpg

... What is IT? yeegads

Upper Street. Estate agents, shit pub, estate agents, overpriced fake patisserie/coffee bar, estate agents, enormous barn-like pub with neon sign outside, estate agents, estate agents, characterless tapas bar with catering secretly from Brake Brothers, estate agents, stupid sculpture of an angel, estate agents...

... general sense of feeling far too pleased with itself, estate agents, estate agents...

That wasn't answering JW's question btw. Answer to JW's question = Camden High Street.

what is an "Estate agent" -- real estate?

yep

MDC on a roll now.

The fact that the Square Mile contains some of the greatest buildings in the whole of London and is populated almost exclusively with cockfarmers.

West London
Southwest 'London'

DON'T FUCKING TRY IT

postcode snobbery

yah

Defend the Indefensible: Mitcham

He was better in "Cape Fear" than De Niro was in the remake

Defend the Indefensible: Mitcham

-- Ed, Tuesday, 6 May 2008 16:26 (21 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

1. Ian Catt's studio there.
2. Er... that's it.

Can't compare with Marvin Gaye's worldwide hit "Sexual Ealing" and his shelved follow-up "Randy Acton."

Young professionals moving to Lambeth for EDGY urban London life - classic or dud?

How absurdly territorial and competetive people get about the little areas they live in

^^^only experienced this from aspirational young urban etc etc not real londoners

^^^only experienced this from aspirational young urban etc etc not real londoners

OTM.

You're fucking kidding me, right?

no

Ever heard of postcode gangs?

Or are they not populated by "real" Londoners?

i think yr being deliberately disingenuous, poo

On ILX? As if that could happen.

W6 postcode gang member here, then.

* MEXICAN FOOD. Don't you DARE try to throw out Texas Embassy or Cafe Pacifico. The 6 months old Wahaca in Covent Garden is really awesome, but ALWAYS packed (and also not really all that Mexican - it's pretty fancy-pants fusion-y - but it is as close as London gets). I tried a place called "El Paso Cafe" somewhere in Putney one night and was told my options for sides for my enchiladas were not rice and beans, but garlic bread and hummous!!!

* New York is guilty of this too, sometimes (mostly due to tourists who gum up the works), but I have never seen anything like London commuters' pathological inability to stick to one side of the pavement/staircase/escalator/etc. when moving around the city. It's not that hard... everything moves so much more quickly and efficiently when people, say, stick to the right when walking somewhere! Or the left! Just PICK ONE FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!

* Customer Service: Another old-tyme-y stereotype along with "bad food," in all the travel guides, but heavens is this one ever true. I have stood in shops PLEADING with employees to take my money in exchange for goods or services and just been glared at. I've had simple trips to the grocery store turn into epic trials of the human spirit. I want to be sold to! Come hound me like gnats when I walk in the shop!

* Speaking of which, grocery stores! Buy more units of your products! Trip to Tesco yesterday - list: 2 green peppers, boneless chicken breasts, 6 pack of Coke Zero, skim milk, ground cinnamon. They had literally NONE of the items I needed. 1pm, Monday afternoon. What's going on?!?

* Rain. I almost don't want to mention it after we've now had 3 consecutive beautiful days (the nicest run in years), but... god almighty. It's oppressive sometimes.

All that said, everyone's been lovely, people are nice, it's a fun town!

Come to think of it, there's nothing that intrinsically sucks about London. I guess there would be things that would suck in general and about my life, but they aren't place dependent. It's a town, it'll fade away in time.

> 1pm, Monday afternoon. What's going on?!?

a bank holiday

it didn't rain more than 6 times the six months I lived in London

you want oppressive rain come live in Glasgow

- ppl who are palpably rich
- aus/sth african cabal in wimbledon
- wtf with all the chains, london?
- cinema us v.v. expensive
- taxis are excruciatingly expensive

Tube stops running at midnight. I've only spent a month in London, but that is by far my biggest complaint.

This was pretty much the only thing that really sucked in two weeks I spent there last year. Exacerbated by all-week repairs on the Victoria Line and staying in Brixton.

Everything was maaaaaad expensive but you kinda expect that and hey, I was in holiday mode.

Pub food was really, really incredibly shit though my sample size was not really conclusive.

Cockney accent = horrible... thankfully you hardly ever hear it. Unfortunately you do hear the New London Accent a lot and that's possibly even worse than Cockney.

SS, have you tried Mestizo on the Hampstead Road?

Gun battles on the King's Road.

New York is guilty of this too, sometimes (mostly due to tourists who gum up the works), but I have never seen anything like London commuters' pathological inability to stick to one side of the pavement/staircase/escalator/etc. when moving around the city. It's not that hard... everything moves so much more quickly and efficiently when people, say, stick to the right when walking somewhere! Or the left! Just PICK ONE FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!

In my experience the escalator rule is very clearly walk on the left, stand on the right, and this is only occasionally broken by a handful of hapless tourists who are immediately shot in the temple by ruthless dead-eyed commuters

also people often say night buses are hell, but I find them to be an efficient, relaxing way to get home while monged at 4am, and all the crazies I have ever encountered on them have been riotously entertaining, even when threatening to kill me

the amount of discarded rubbish on London transport

particularly

http://i.thisislondon.co.uk/i/std/siteimages/til-header/londonlite-logo.gif
http://img.metro.co.uk/i/mastHead/logo_285x70.gif
http://www.thelondonpaper.com/nav_test/img/logo.gif

-- Ed, Saturday, 3 May 2008 11:45 (4 days ago) Bookmark Link

This is in no way london-specific, Ed! Discarded free shitty newspapers all over public transport up here too, probably everywhere where they give away the "metro".

Night buses are perhaps too relaxing for me as I have a tendency to fall asleep on them and end up in Cricklewood Bus Garage.

Can anyone confirm that there actually exists a place called Fulwell, since 90% of night buses from Hammersmith seem to go there?

SS, have you tried Mestizo on the Hampstead Road?

No, but just made plans for dinner! Looks like a bit of a hike from my Westworld, but I'll make it... Thanks for the tip...

Can anyone confirm that there actually exists a place called Fulwell, since 90% of night buses from Hammersmith seem to go there?

That reminds me of my theory that Faifley is almost entirely populated by people from Paisley who, while pished, got on the wrong night bus in George Square, ended up in Faifley, stayed there, mated with locals etc

"Here, mate, ish thish bush gon tae Paishley?"
"Faifley? Aye, hop oan"

OLD LADY - "lucky heather sir?"
ME - "erm no thanks"
OLD LADY - "oh you look like a nice person, go on, it's for the children"
ME - "*sigh*, go on then"

...gives me 'lucky heather', i give her 1 pound...

OLD LADY - "most people are giving ten pounds sir"
ME - "bye then"

My stock response to all "most people"-type remarks:

"I'm not 'most people.' I'm me."

That always teaches them not to try it.

Chuggers

Cue SwapShop gags &c.

Cheggers Can't Be Boozers etc

i like orfent-ick Cockney accents

Shock horror, King's Road gunman turns out to be solicitor and ex-squaddie.

Boris to convene special committee to examine degree of threat to the public posed by "one of us" who has "gorn off the rails."

In New Totalitarian London you can't have a beer on your way home anymore :(

Revenge suggestion: have Boris pulled off his bike and breathalysed on way home from beer/table football.

Defend the Indefensible: Mitcham

-- Ed,

Puffball mushrooms grow wild on the common.

Revenge suggestion: have Boris pulled off his bike and breathalysed on way home from beer/table football. set on fire.

Fixed.

Puffball mushrooms grow wild on the common.

-- Anna, Wednesday, 7 May 2008 23:35 (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

password

Haha.

wow, i think i might be matt dc.

not being able to get a direct bus from hackney to limehouse

277??

Inside 72 shut down :(