hurray for NOLLYWOOD

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wait, "Nollywood"?????????

-- HI DERE, Monday, May 5, 2008 8:40 PM (53 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Yeah, Nigerian Hollywood, ya see? It ain't no Bollywood, believe me.

-- Noodle Vague, Monday, May 5, 2008 8:41 PM (53 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

o_O O_o

-- HI DERE, Monday, May 5, 2008 8:42 PM (52 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

http://www.naijarules.com/

Nollywood is subscription now so we can't see it but AIT Movistar is still broadcasting for free hooray.

-- Noodle Vague, Monday, May 5, 2008 8:44 PM (49 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

wait, who is Nadia Buari and how do I convince her to make sweet sweet love to me

-- HI DERE, Monday, May 5, 2008 8:46 PM (47 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

WAIT WAIT forget Nadia Buari, who is Jackie Appiah and etc etc sweet love

-- HI DERE, Monday, May 5, 2008 8:48 PM (46 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I'm a Mercy Johnson man m'self.

-- Noodle Vague, Monday, May 5, 2008 8:49 PM (45 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I feel like I've stumbled into a wonderland

-- HI DERE, Monday, May 5, 2008 8:49 PM (44 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

"I’m Not Perfect, But I Try Not To Cheat On My Wife –Francis Duru"

Classic.

-- Noodle Vague, Monday, May 5, 2008 8:50 PM (44 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Word of advice Dan don't actually try and watch the films.

Actually that's a lie, a lot of them are jaw-droppingly entertainingly WTF.

-- Noodle Vague, Monday, May 5, 2008 8:51 PM (43 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

“The King Of Boys” - The Richard Mofe-Damijo Interview

-- Noodle Vague, Monday, May 5, 2008 8:52 PM (41 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Great message board thread:
http://www.naijarules.com/vb/love-family-singles-marriage-sexes/27689-im-tayad-being-single-oooooo.html

-- Dom Passantino, Monday, May 5, 2008 8:58 PM (35 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I'm a Mercy Johnson man m'self.

-- Noodle Vague, Monday, May 5, 2008 4:49 PM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

damn good call son

-- and what, Monday, May 5, 2008 8:59 PM (34 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

thats whats up

-- and what, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:00 PM (34 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVfr3ZIV3fo

-- and what, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:00 PM (33 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

these are generally best consumed in trailer form

-- s1ocki, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:03 PM (30 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmbby4oBXvE

^^^ the kid in this

-- s1ocki, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:04 PM (29 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1OqgqV5SUA

-- s1ocki, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:05 PM (28 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Jane Austen's Mafia is the worst film ever. No contest at all. I defy anyone to watch it and not find themselves changed in a detrimental manner afterwards.

-- jim, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:05 PM (28 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

and in that of course xp

-- s1ocki, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:06 PM (28 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZohUICLZyGk

...hitler?

-- s1ocki, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:07 PM (27 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6qC8T1AO-lM

an "emotional blockburster"

-- s1ocki, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:08 PM (25 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Re: Nollywood. The video is the most off-putting thing to me, it looks like bad 80s soap opera. But once you get into the rhythm of them, the long rambling scenes that feel like they're going nowhere, there's a Ken Loach/Vittorio di Sica vibe to bits of it, almost. Almost. The historical dramas seem to work best for me, the story-telling is usually tighter, they have a plot. Maybe there's some genuinely good films in amongst all the madness, but the whole thing is incredibly amateurish and gung ho.

I've been thinking about Nollywood a lot for the last couple of months, and I've talked myself round a bit here. I realise I don't think they're awful, tho they are, generally, in many ways. But in lots of other ways, genuinely cool.

-- Noodle Vague, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:09 PM (25 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

the "obeah" films are generally the craziest.

i really admire the fast & cheap ethic here tho... made for no money in a matter of days, sold in the markets the next week...

-- s1ocki, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:11 PM (22 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

And other rubbish-y but kind of endearing point is the way all the films are so correct, they have to have happy endings and be morally uplifting and I guess we're a few years away from Nollywood exploitation flicks or slasher flicks or anything.

-- Noodle Vague, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:11 PM (22 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Jane Austen's Mafia is the worst film ever. No contest at all. I defy anyone to watch it and not find themselves changed in a detrimental manner afterwards.

-- jim, Monday, May 5, 2008 5:05 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

this was pretty funny

i wanna see hitler!! THE THING BECOMES A FLESH EATERS AFFAIR

-- and what, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:12 PM (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

ya!

i mean...

hitler!

-- s1ocki, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:12 PM (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

http://youtube.com/watch?v=B_RgEYVGQqc

BABY POLICE 2

-- s1ocki, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:13 PM (20 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

There were tons of Britishes B-movies made mostly between the 2 world wars called "quota quickies". made because there was a law that cinemas had to show a certain percentage of home-grown movies so they shot them fast and cheap to meet this quota so they could carry on showing American movies that were actually good and popular. Nollywood reminds me of that, a bit.

-- Noodle Vague, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:13 PM (20 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

http://youtube.com/watch?v=B_RgEYVGQqc

BABY POLICE 2

-- s1ocki, Monday, May 5, 2008 5:13 PM (44 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

whaaaat

-- and what, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:14 PM (20 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

i find it cool that there's actually like a star system at play here too

-- s1ocki, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:14 PM (19 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

i had never ever heard of "nollywood" before this thread btw gj team

-- and what, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:14 PM (19 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

baby police 2 is CRAZY

-- s1ocki, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:14 PM (19 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

btw slocki u my fav movie critic working now i aint bullshittin

-- and what, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:14 PM (19 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

fuck man baby police 2 trailer is like welcome to the terrordome for me

-- and what, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:15 PM (18 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

aww thanks dude :D xp

-- s1ocki, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:15 PM (18 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Oh wow on that Baby Police page check out the Jadon the Gangster clip.

-- Noodle Vague, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:16 PM (18 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

just the name baby police 2 is really... i can't stop thinking abotu it

-- s1ocki, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:16 PM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

ya the jadon one is nuts

-- s1ocki, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:16 PM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Jadon the Nigerian Tycoon/Gangster looks for love. However, he has to settle for shallow African GOLDDIGGERS!!

-- and what, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:16 PM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

tycoon-slash-gangster

-- and what, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:16 PM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

http://youtube.com/watch?v=N9QCyRGcVyA

THIS

-- s1ocki, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:17 PM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

that's an obeah, i'm pretty sure

-- s1ocki, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:17 PM (16 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I like African movies but a gangster child is ridiculous. I would not watch or buy this stupid movie. Talk about corrupting the world's youth. Ya'll need Jesus and Olodumare and any other gods you can think of. Damn!!!

-- and what, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:17 PM (16 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

They never seem to show any of these fun ones on AIT, I'm gonna watch out for them tho.

-- Noodle Vague, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:18 PM (16 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

i miss living in hackney east side of london with all the african dudes theres like no african dudes in america

-- and what, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:18 PM (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

btw the trailer voiceover guy on these >>>>>>>>>>> "in a world..."

-- and what, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:18 PM (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

"DRY SCORPION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

-- and what, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:18 PM (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

just to bring it all back around i really wanna get the nollywood trailer guy to re-record the voiceover from the shitty folksy "henry poole is here" trailer

-- and what, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:19 PM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

HENRY POOLE!!!!! IS HERE!!!!!

-- and what, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:19 PM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

i think what's even more alienating than the picture quality is that terrible on-camera-mic echo-y sound recording

-- s1ocki, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:19 PM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

http://youtube.com/watch?v=e-bRhW6Kz_Q

baby police 1... maybe even more intense than 2

-- s1ocki, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:20 PM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

kerry predicted where this thread was going

I would have to nominate "Titanic" as well. The worst part is when the boat sinks and they're sliding down into the water and whaddya know? The lead couple miraculously hangs on and survives that. Please, die already! Only Leo has to die eventually so that Celine can sing that "her heart will go on." It was a little boys' "blow stuff up" flick in Edwardian disguise. And throwing that necklace in the water, when it could easily feed 40,000 African children for a year. Kate Winslet had some nice clothes, though.

-- Kerry Keane, Friday, June 22, 2001 8:00 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Link

-- and what, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:20 PM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

http://youtube.com/watch?v=e-bRhW6Kz_Q

baby police 1... maybe even more intense than 2

-- s1ocki, Monday, May 5, 2008 5:20 PM (7 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

wait wtf at 0:18 does that woman have a dress with a cellphone pattern

-- and what, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:21 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

"the greatest offense.. offense #5!"

-- s1ocki, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:21 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

"who is the YOU"

-- s1ocki, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:21 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

lol OKEY BILLY BANIFACE

-- and what, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:21 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

whoa she does!

-- s1ocki, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:22 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

i love that like 8 new stars were "introduced" in baby police!

-- s1ocki, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:22 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

who is the you deserves meme status

-- and what, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:23 PM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Oci8-5XjOf0

"this interesting blockbuster"

-- s1ocki, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:23 PM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

wait what country uses dollars as currency

-- and what, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:25 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

did that dude just say WHEN YOU WAS CLAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSY

-- and what, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:26 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Q4vnHirfw8M

njeriwajudi (1 month ago) Show Hide
+2 Poor comment Good comment

i promise yu she looks like beyonce or rather she is the black beyonce

-- and what, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:27 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Dangerous Blind Man

-- Noodle Vague, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:27 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

From: akoko26
Joined: 9 months ago
Videos: 24
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Added: December 24, 2007 (More info)
This excellent video

vs.

"this interesting blockbuster"

-- and what, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:28 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

he has been cheating on me. cheating on me incessantly.

-- and what, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:29 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

This stuff really doesn't belong on this thread.

-- Noodle Vague, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:30 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

These are completely fucking amazing trailers.

-- HI DERE, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:30 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Someone start/revive a Nollywood thread.

-- Ned Raggett, Monday, May 5, 2008 9:31 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

― s1ocki, Monday, 5 May 2008 21:34 (seventeen years ago)

so ya.. my friends are shooting a doc on this now. can't wait to see it.

― s1ocki, Monday, 5 May 2008 21:35 (seventeen years ago)

That'll be brilliant!

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 5 May 2008 21:35 (seventeen years ago)

Fantastic, you have to tell us when that's ready.

― Noodle Vague, Monday, 5 May 2008 21:36 (seventeen years ago)

for sure!

― s1ocki, Monday, 5 May 2008 21:36 (seventeen years ago)

SHE WAS AN ORPHAN WHO ENJOYED THE BEST LIFE COULD OFFER

http://youtube.com/watch?v=T_3xl3OayJw

― Dom Passantino, Monday, 5 May 2008 21:40 (seventeen years ago)

Needs to be a Nollywood movie called "I Swam All the Way from Ghana" toot sweet.

― Noodle Vague, Monday, 5 May 2008 21:42 (seventeen years ago)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=-KBZc9uLm6c&feature=related

"You need a husband. YOU NEED A HUSBAND."

― Noodle Vague, Monday, 5 May 2008 21:43 (seventeen years ago)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=61jfzaH2vt4&feature=related

Check the sound effects round about the 50 second mark.

― Noodle Vague, Monday, 5 May 2008 21:45 (seventeen years ago)

"mean criminals on the streets of houston... it's highly entertaining"

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Fizc3w9B8LE

US-made!!

― s1ocki, Monday, 5 May 2008 22:35 (seventeen years ago)

as crazy and low-budget and amateurish as these are i'm glad they're off the "worst movies thread" cuz i totally admire them and the entire shoestring industry and would never put them in the "pay it forward" or "8mm" or even the "plan 9" bad categories.

― s1ocki, Monday, 5 May 2008 22:47 (seventeen years ago)

fully agree
can't wait to see yr friends' doc - will it be autovaud style or uh more traditional style?

― rrrobyn, Tuesday, 6 May 2008 14:15 (seventeen years ago)

It will consist solely of a director's commentary.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 6 May 2008 14:17 (seventeen years ago)

would watch
srsly, slocki & his filmmaking friends are hilarious

― rrrobyn, Tuesday, 6 May 2008 14:19 (seventeen years ago)

more traditional style!

same ppl who did this:

http://www.montrealmirror.com/2006/081706/cover_film.html

― s1ocki, Tuesday, 6 May 2008 17:22 (seventeen years ago)

oh i saw a clip of that! wld like to see the whole thing
haha all their docs should be about -ollywood variations

― rrrobyn, Tuesday, 6 May 2008 17:34 (seventeen years ago)

dollywood

― s1ocki, Tuesday, 6 May 2008 17:53 (seventeen years ago)

yes.

― rrrobyn, Tuesday, 6 May 2008 18:08 (seventeen years ago)

eight months pass...

omg I just watched all these thanks to the worst movie-thread and now my brain kinda hurts. not sure if this is a trailer or the whole movie but it's got a good theme song

― sonderangerbot, Sunday, 11 January 2009 00:53 (sixteen years ago)

BABY POLICE 2

― s1ocki, Sunday, 11 January 2009 00:55 (sixteen years ago)

oh man HitleR is amazing

― thunda lightning (clotpoll), Sunday, 11 January 2009 01:08 (sixteen years ago)

Hey s1ocki did yr friends finish that documentary cos there was one on Sky a couple of months back that I caught half of?

― Birth Control to Ginger Tom (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 11 January 2009 12:07 (sixteen years ago)

one month passes...

LARRY KOLDSWEAT

― thunda lightning (clotpoll), Sunday, 8 March 2009 20:17 (sixteen years ago)

uh i mean

― thunda lightning (clotpoll), Sunday, 8 March 2009 20:17 (sixteen years ago)

Watched a good one the other night about a Pastor who got a prostitute pregnant as a young man and then ended up shagging his daughter by mistake when she grew up. One scene featured 3 women fainting one after the other and ending up in a heap while the cleaning lady was trying to work round them.

― SB ya later, alligator (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 8 March 2009 20:31 (sixteen years ago)

Movistar still don't seem to show the voodoo exploitationers tho. A lot of historical dramas with stop-motion special effects for magic, but nothing like the trailers on here.

― SB ya later, alligator (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 8 March 2009 20:34 (sixteen years ago)

Britishes might enjoy the fact that Evil Altar up there is produced by Paul Daniels Internation Ltd.

― SB ya later, alligator (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 8 March 2009 20:35 (sixteen years ago)

Incidentally, here's s1ocki's friends movie:

http://www3.nfb.ca/webextension/nollywood-babylon/#sec-film

Badly want to see it. The stuff about Born Agains taking over the industry looks fascinating and I wasn't aware of it before.

― SB ya later, alligator (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 8 March 2009 20:48 (sixteen years ago)

one year passes...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N66duPiY-00

― itchy rainbolt (clotpoll), Saturday, 15 May 2010 05:12 (fifteen years ago)

one year passes...

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/26/magazine/nollywood-movies.html

― JoeStork, Sunday, 26 February 2012 06:57 (thirteen years ago)

two years pass...

Screenings of Tunde Kelani's Maami & Dazzling Mirage as well as Lagos Stories over the next month in Australasia. Anyone in the northern hemisphere catch these?

― etc, Monday, 6 October 2014 01:32 (ten years ago)

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