Worst line from Adam Parfey's "Jurrasic Park"/"Hook" rant

NAMBLA spokesman Renato Corazza refused to confirm or deny Spielberg's possible membership in the Man/Boy Love Association: "We don't divulge our membership rolls."

omg that one

I considered that one but it can't match the sheer WTFness of some of the later lines.

btw guyz

Steven Spielberg - classic or dud

I think "Spielberg uses every trick in the director's chapbook to induce us to love a wrinkled, potbellied cosmic interloper that hides in boys' closets and communicates with a glowing, phallic finger." is my frontrunner for:

- using the word "chapbook";
- making it seem like ET talks to a glowing cock.

ILE is awesome today.

Shouldn't that be talks using a glowing cock.

"Indeed, only on milk cartons can we find children so physically raped as the celluloid juveniles of "Jurassic Park.""

^^^this line is best and worst.

I'm looking at "with" vs "via" there; my general inclination is to treat that usage of "with" as a synonym for "to" rather than "using".

xpost: I would ask where exatly all of the raped children in "Jurassic Park" are but then he would tell me.

that ones the best but

"It was young Henry Thomas's taunt to his twelve-year-old celluloid brother--"penis breath"--that had Spielberg conjure, if only for a disturbing instant, the image of a bald-faced lad with a cock in his mouth."

wins the 'disturbing instant' award w/ that final phrase

xp to alex

yes, because milk cartons show pictures of physically raped children.

just like jurassic park

note to self: stay away from the director's cut

The Director's uncut

velocirapist

I thought Spielberg was Jewish...?

stay away from director's gunt

t-rex your childhood

brachi-a-saur-ass

whats the thread with all the velociraptor david mamet quotes

Indeed, only on milk cartons can we find children so physically raped as the celluloid juveniles of "Jurassic Park."

The genius part is "Indeed."

Bradshaw's "inner child" therapy is a mere baby-step away from the Diaper Pail Fraternity, a Sausalito-based group for grown men who revert to incontinent fantasy, where surrogate mommies exclaim and coo as they wipe the kinky kid-fetishists' dirty behinds.

HOW DID I MISS THIS THE FIRST TIME

Not exactly happy endings

This is a perfect storm of unsavory awfulness.

is this the adam parfrey who did all that apocalypse culture stuff?

yep

I was gonna bring up Munich as an example of where Parfey's theory can no longer sustain itself. But then I remembered the pregnant-wife sex scene. And I figured he could probably work this theory into any movie. Ever.

this is the genius of the unified spielberg=pedo theory

yeah he'd easily turn the pregnant-wife sex scene into a "pregnant pussy" variation

I don't quite see how that ties into fucking boys, though...?

HI DERE, HE IS FUCKING THE BABY.

There. I said it.

velocirapist

-- latebloomer, Wednesday, May 28, 2008 3:51 PM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

loooool

Where's the paedo link in "Amistad"?????

Glowing, phallic finger not pictured...

http://tannerherriott.com/adventures/080204/2_ETjackson.jpg

(xpost) the birth of a nation

We lived in a dogfish eggcase
you could barely call it home
Sorry little lot no roof on top
But the fish left us at home
Try a little more said the girl next
door it's time to roam

Mad Lizzy Crumbs blind cobblers
thumbs were a sight to behold
She was a rum old slapper and we always
tried toget her pants off when she phoned
Left her cap by the sink it's not what you think
Oh take me home

Now we know where we are going baby
We can lay back and enjoy the ride
Take in the sights and drown in our senses
Love is the law so take me deep inside

Strap on Sally chased us down the alley
We feared for our behinds
Oasis was a shop with shoes so hot
They were sure to blow your minds
Running so fast I can take the past
Oh take home

These waters run deep it's clear my little one
Blue velvet star sky not a sound
The light in your eyes the smile on your ruby lips
Tells me my lost soul is found

hahahaha oops, wrong thread

A+

RUFIO!
RUFIO!
RU!
FI!
OOOOOOOOOOOO!

http://www.ieatbees.com/pics/RUFIO.gifhttp://www.ieatbees.com/pics/RUFIO.gifhttp://www.ieatbees.com/pics/RUFIO.gif

...the child-alien/human ectodermal interactions in Close Encounters; and the sanitized incest theme of Back To The Future.

Can you get punched in the neck for using a word like "ectodermal"?

only one way to find out!

this is good too:

...continual cocaine-and-Quaalude concatenations...

xp rofl

this is some sam the eagle shit

...a mere baby-step away from the Diaper Pail Fraternity, a Sausalito-based group for grown men who revert to incontinent fantasy, where surrogate mommies exclaim and coo as they wipe the kinky kid-fetishists' dirty behinds.

...Dance of the Warriors, a futuristic fantasy about a warrior cult of young boys who fight right-wing Christians for the privilege of having sex with aging boy-lovers, sports on its cover a salt-and-pepper boy couple who almost precisely mirror two of Spielberg's Lost Boys. The book appeared in the pedophilia sections of gay bookstores just at the time that Hook was going into pre-production.

got those addresses handy adam?

Wait.

Gay bookstores have pedophilia sections?????

This is more brain-damaged the more I look at it.

this guy should be banned from ilx

Heave Parfey

in "saucylito" maybe

xp lol deej

Parfrey rules

and it is Parfrey, by the way

I just set that Jacko / ET shot as my background

velocirapist

-- latebloomer, Wednesday, May 28, 2008 8:51 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

That was pretty awesome, yeah.

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wau!