What do you want? .... HOUSE!

Oh and they're not intimidating, but they are two-faced, lying wankers in the main. I've met one or two who aren't, I suppose, but it's rare.

BEST TIP: Drink lots of coffee before you go. People are much more likely to pick you if you smell of coffee.

Steer well clear of landlords who seem friendly on first impression or judgemental in that Thatcher Voter way; they will be the ones who turn up at random times to just check on things, invariably when you are sat on the balcony enjoying a nice fat spliff or are in some other form of disarray.

Estate agents no so little its pointless to ask them any more than how much a place costs. They often have trouble describing the place or even where it is.

They should all be towed out to sea and scuppered.

I must go. I have to talk to one of these obsequious but dims.

Ed is right about estate agents - it foxes me how they are able to even dress themselves of a morn, much less market and sell houses. I've decided it's mostly down to the desperation of all the other concerned parties to get it over with as little complication as possible which gets houses bought and sold. Also I am pretty horrible to deal with if you are an estate agent - I know the areas I'm looking in like the back of my hand and I think the term 'ex-local authority' mighty pretentious, especially as used by the kind of crims who work at Black- Katz letting agency (where I first heard the euphemism employed and so clumsily I could see the inverted commas hovering in midair).

Whatever, the only intimidation you should feel is HOW EXACTLY these people can LIVE and PROSPER while being so incredibly THICK.

Foxton's have offices on Park Lane for god's sake! How much posher can you get!

Service charges: under no circumstances use an agent who tries to charge you handling fees or service charges - agents are being paid 10 per cent of the year's rent by the landlord to let and manage the property, so are getting enough compensation for their services already. There are also professional bodies you can report them to if they try this on. See my comment on Black-Katz above.

As to the poshness of estate agents, they're not (and I've seen Foxtons signs on all sorts of places, including hovels I wouldn't quarantine a dog in). At least not usually: they strike me as being terrified of proper posh people and OH MY GOD can they brown-nose for Britain. However, they won't actually lift a finger to call you when they actually have something of interest to you.

Marcello? Sarah?

Not that Streatham's all bad, but it is a pain to get to late at night, and you'll never get any of your college friends out there.

oops cross post wuith V, but it needs saying twice.

If you want to live somewhere dodgy/scary, then streatham will suit you down to the ground. It isn't far from the centre of town as the crow flies, but it feels a hell of a lot further out.

God, did i really say 'college friends'?! apologies.

I lived just a bit further in, at the top of Brixton Hill, and although I loved the house I never really took to the neighbourhood. Having prostitutes at the end of the road whenever I left for work in the morning, and being spat at by them late at night wasn't the nicest experience ever.

To get from town to streatham involves either an overground train from Victoria, or any of the Thameslink stations from KX down to blackfriars, or Victoria line to Brixton and then a bus. (there are a couple of buses that go all the way, but they take a long time, scnic though parts of the journey are) It's also in zone 3 which bumps the price up a bit. At night you're restricted to infrequent trains, when they're still running, then night buses, which can be interesting but lso infuriating - packed, slow, full of very drunk people.

Vicky and Ed are absolutely correct about the unsuitability of St. Reatham on so many levels. It may be slightly more expensive to live in the centre rentwise, but you'll never need to shell out for a Travelcard (£75.30/month for zones 1&2; £88.80 for 1-3) which on top of a 'cheap' rent makes that Sarf London flatshare not too cheap.

(In other words, move somewhere near us!)

You've got a head start being able to ask all the London ilxors advice. I ended up in Camberwell, which was ok, but transport links were even worse than streatham. I didn't mind though, because there was a bus that stopped a few houses away, and took me straight towards college, with a fantastic view over Wterloo bridge. If I could do it again though I would try harder to live closer in, as it's not going to happen now. Not necessarily next door to college, but zone one, or not far into zone 2.

what is the context of the streatham place?

Bear in mind where Gareth visits when he goes to New York.