Finding a member of the opposite sex with many similar interests as yourself - does this ever happen?

YES IT HAPPENS

And I don't think there are such things as soulmates. But if you like to eat tubes of chapstick, and you find someone else who does, then maybe you're soulmates.

Dude Lorax just have some patience. You've got plenty of life ahead of you to be disappointed by women.

Ha ha, Abbott.

Also, finding someone who complements you can be just as good as finding someone 'perfect' and a lot of a relationship isn't how suited you are to each other but how much ground you've covered together.

YES THIS HAPPENS YOU XKIDC

But if you like to eat tubes of chapstick, and you find someone else who does, then maybe you're soulmates.

I lo_Oled

First question: yes

Soulmates: maybe. Depends what your definition is. If it's the idea that there's just ONE person out there who's meant for you, and you have to search the world to find them: no.

[And I wouldn't say it's about 'completion' so much. As one of those people who's spent the majority of adult life single, I like to think I can be a complete person in and of myself... it's more about complementing one another than completing one another.]

idk but maybe if you cultivate an interest in chick stuff you might start meeting chicks with whom you share more interests?

i'm no expert, but this is how i see it

important:
- do you feel the same way about keeping animals (pets)?
- kids? yes/no
- retirement/financial security: how to achieve this and how important it is
- recreational activity/activity levels: couch potato vs. super active person... those kinds of opposites don't attract
- sex (duh)
- religion
- sense of humor... best be able to laugh together

shit that is completely unimportant and in fact might make things more interesting if you were incompatible:
- similar tastes in music, movies, tv shows, comics, things that are cool, whatever
- political leanings (unless either person is super passionate about this)

i also think relationships are ultimately a partnership, so it's good if strengths and weaknesses jigsaw to a certain degree. like, two people who suck miserably at finances are going to have some stress.

shit that is completely unimportant and in fact might make things more interesting if you were incompatible:
- similar tastes in music, movies, tv shows, comics, things that are cool, whatever

more people need to realise the fuck out of this, especially the 'might make things more interesting' bit

It happens allllll the time. Then you realize, it doesn't really matter what you have in common ... what counts is sexual chemistry, personality meshing, and a general sense of getting along well.

disagree. I think the stuff about religion, kids, sense of humour, budgeting, etc is all spot on and fairly universally applicable, but I've been in situations where I didn't have much in common music-/movie-/TV-/general interests-wise with a person and it was definitely more frustrating than it was interesting. I'm not saying that everyone should be totally compatible with regard to those things, but rather that it's going to vary from person to person... I like having similar-ish taste in stuff. other people prefer not to or see it as a bad thing or simply don't care. so it goes.

why does it have to be of the opposite sex?

oh stop

i think it also depends what your interests are. i mean if all you do is post to the internet and eat scabs i think you're s.o.l. because i'm pretty sure masonic boom is taken.

shit that is completely unimportant and in fact might make things more interesting if you were incompatible:
- similar tastes in music, movies, tv shows, comics, things that are cool, whatever

I disagree that this is *completely* unimportant. It's certainly not the most important factor, but if you don't enjoy the same sort of cultural detritus then you're gonna have a hard time finding things to do together.

oh jesus xp

i think it also depends what your interests are. i mean if all you do is post to the internet and eat scabs i think you're s.o.l. because i'm pretty sure masonic boom is taken.

I've been in situations where I didn't have much in common music-/movie-/TV-/general interests-wise with a person and it was definitely more frustrating than it was interesting

I feel like this can depend on what kind of relationship you have with the things you're interested in? like-- if you're the kind of person who likes listening to records with someone, it can get really frustrating to think that whatever you make this person listen to they're just going to be unimpressed, or actively hostile, or attempt a few lukewarm compliments to keep you happy.

that's valid, but it seems pretty freakin' picky, don't you think? chances are you met this person doing some kind of activity that you have in common. you can't expect to be able to do all the things you do with your hanging-out-friends with your romantic interest. i could definitely see people who have each other but not a lot of friends could suffer more from these types of differences.

like my gf actively despises a huge chunk of movie genres that i love. after 3 years i've gotten a good idea of what to ask her to watch with me and what to go watch at my friend's or when she's doing something else.

- recreational activity/activity levels: couch potato vs. super active person... those kinds of opposites don't attract

Boy am I realising this one can cause some hassles.

(but we're completely alike in so many other ways it isnt a big deal, I just feel so old)

soulmates, yeah depends on the definition.

But as far as interests go...
there aren't even guys that share the same music taste as me.
Or if someone does like a few of the same bands they also like some crappy band and I'm like WTF? eh?

and straight girls are naturally not similar to straight guys. they will never be alike. it's not possible.

their mannerisms or something, will always be way off

their capability of having abstract thought, vivid imagination, etc..

xpost- look on the bright side: eventually age and/or health problems will solve that one! :)

and they are cruel. women are cruel to the bone. they know it. they won't admit it, that's how cruel they are.

and straight girls are naturally not similar to straight guys. they will never be alike. it's not possible.

If you honestly believe that so sweepingly about every straight girl then you are doomed. Sorry.

see what I mean. women are naturally cruel. facts of life

there is and will always be these differences between all men and women

way to troll and derail your own thread dude

my thread was won of hope. I was hoping I was wrong

one*

Rockapads' idea is balls. Basically, there are loads of people who find themselves compatible when they have differing religions, but cannot be compatible with someone who has differing musical tastes, and vice versa. It's about what is important to you. I'd say the kids thing is probably the one thing they get correct.

As for the original question, well DUH of course you find shitloads of people of the opposite sex with similar interests. Whether or not you want to fuck them/spend the rest of your life with them is a completely different story. I suppose girls who only want to knit and boys who only want to play rugby might struggle, but really, if that's all they want to do then they're shit-ass boring. The soulmate thing is kind of irrelevant as it is an undefined proposition.

Also, I'm really drunk. Hooray.

and straight girls are naturally not similar to straight guys. they will never be alike. it's not possible.

Okay, this is so much fucking shit.

Do people think soulmates exist?

NO

sort of

xpost to emily:
Thats what I said but apparently it is cruel to point out the obvious.

Lorax, I'm deliberately taking you on good faith here against my better judgement. I've known plenty of guys who are homely and feminine - that love cooking, cleaning, puttering about and/or want kids. I, like some women I know, tend towards the blokier side. There's no one general gender rule.

I dont want kids - so if I had a partner who did, that would be the single and possibly only thing that would be a complete deal breaker for us, because it is the one thing I will not compromise on.

People who believe in a soul often believe soulmates exist. But then they already believe in something pretty silly so we shouldn't chide them further. Atheists/agnostics who use the term 'soulmate' need to define their terms further, and will likely always find their definition lacking rationality.

xpost to bs.

compatible philosophy/politics are far more impt than shared interests.

I assume soulmate refers to that "one perfect person meant for me" thing, which is impossible of course, because it means statistically you're likely never to meet that person anwway as they're probably from another country and died in a car crash at age 6.

Captainlorax, serious question and i am not in any way trying to humiliate you, but could you meet girls with similar interests as you at support groups or whatever these kinds of thing are called?

Trayce's standpoint on kids is OTM. I suppose it can be negotiated, but it is a pretty serious thing - I will never ever have one, so if I was with someone who wanted one then they would have to give that idea up forever. That would be a hefty ask.

xposts - get bent, I'm not entirely sure you're right. It depends what you mean by compatible. I often get told I'm an idealist whereas my other half is a pragmatist, but our general, uh, bent, is the same. I just happen to be hardline whereas he's softer.

emil.y: i wasn't trying to make any definitive statement about anything, just saying how i see it.

if the couple is chill about religion the way most people are about musical taste, then i guess it's no big deal. i grew up with religion and don't find that to be the case with anyone i've ever met. the reason i put religion there is because it tends to be a matter more important than life and death to devoted religious people - whether one person thinks the other is doomed to eternal hell (or whatever the equivalent is) because they are a non-believer. it's kind of a big deal. i've seen religion cause divorce.

Yeah my ex was extreme hardline "there is no spirit of any sort" scientific athiest, whereas I'm more on a wishywashy spiritual fence, so we'd have lively discussions about stuff quite often. And that didn't bother me. Obviously I couldnt date a hardcore religious type or someone heavily into poltics though, if they wanted to constantly go on about it/over it, as that would bore and annoy me. But thats my personal thang. I'd rather talk about song structures and guitar effects.

Heh, Trayce, there is room for both. Always. In fact, I quite frequently mash the two together (like a poncey twat).

"Political discourse in Peter Gabriel's latest album - let us discus over a pot of tea".

xposts - get bent, I'm not entirely sure you're right. It depends what you mean by compatible. I often get told I'm an idealist whereas my other half is a pragmatist, but our general, uh, bent, is the same. I just happen to be hardline whereas he's softer.

those are personality traits though, and one helps to balance out the other. but if it came down to the other person being a hardheaded economic libertarian (whereas i'm a pro-government bleeding-heart liberal), i couldn't see that relationship working. there are issues i think about all the time and i could see disagreements getting emotional real fast.

i mean i would look in his eyes and all i'd see was tucker carlson

plenty of people who like the same music as me are intolerable pricks

never a truer word.

aw Lorax you don't have to be so demanding.

Don't be hatin' on your own thread, CaptainLorax. Some people work all their downtrodden lives for one chance. One chance at a thread. You hit submit and you don't even know what's going to happen. C+P, doesn't hardly work anymore.

child porn? I didn't know you liked that sort of thing

copy & paste?

damn lorax bringing the hardbody zings

zinky?

Nah, I meant Child (+) Porn, sweet pickup.

The only use in making a list is the immediate disposal of such afterwards.

I thought that when I met my wife she and I had a lot in common musically because you know she had a Bullets for Pussy 7" in her cabinet when I met her which is like amazing hi-quality stuff but then we got married and shit and you know it turns out that she doesn't like the A FRAMES which I find rather disappointing but hey she likes !!! and Gasman which is pret cool but it's not like a total match and then she loves Intervention which I think is OK but not great and hell House is a lot better and we can watch that together all day and night not to mention Gordon Ramsay's anything at all but she's kinda quiet more quiet than most chix and says I talk too much but whatevs you know we are sexual compat and isn't that what matters in the end you know?

I'll have to admit that Tomita had a part in bringing us together.

http://tralfaz-archives.com/coverart/T/Tomita/tomita_snowf.jpg

TWU WUV

But aside from shit like that it is mos defs this between us:

http://scienceblogs.com/worldsfair/vennmusic.jpg

when she laughed at my 2 girls 1 cup jokes, I knew it was love

Pls tell me you did not try to bring home girl 2 and a cup.

when she laughed at my 2 girls 1 cup jokes, I knew it was love

-- bernard snowy, Wednesday, June 18, 2008 12:21 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

man what a keeper

Badoom gush.

maybe all this time i shd have been looking for intolerable pricks :(

I thought that when I met my wife she and I had a lot in common musically because you know she had a Bullets for Pussy 7" in her cabinet when I met her which is like amazing hi-quality stuff but then we got married and shit and you know it turns out that she doesn't like the A FRAMES which I find rather disappointing but hey she likes !!! and Gasman which is pret cool but it's not like a total match and then she loves Intervention which I think is OK but not great and hell House is a lot better and we can watch that together all day and night not to mention Gordon Ramsay's anything at all but she's kinda quiet more quiet than most chix and says I talk too much but whatevs you know we are sexual compat and isn't that what matters in the end you know?

Wait till you have kids. She'll neglect those 7" cause she's too busy listening to the babyphone. Now I know the Pooh soundtrack better than No New York. I do miss the days of listening to music till 1 am and being all snobby when someone (read: my friend) said she saw Underworld.

Em and I have been together seven years now, nearly, bar a break for a few months about four years ago. We live together. We've amalgamated CD collections before we moved in; in doing so we had to sell about 300 duplicates. We have similar but not identical tastes in most things, from kittens to films to canadian laptop psyche pop. It's great.

We also have enough differences to not get staid.

I thought that when I met my wife she and I had a lot in common musically because you know she had a Bullets for Pussy 7" in her cabinet when I met her which is like amazing hi-quality stuff but then we got married and shit and you know it turns out that she doesn't like the A FRAMES which I find rather disappointing but hey she likes !!! and Gasman which is pret cool but it's not like a total match and then she loves Intervention which I think is OK but not great and hell House is a lot better and we can watch that together all day and night not to mention Gordon Ramsay's anything at all but she's kinda quiet more quiet than most chix and says I talk too much but whatevs you know we are sexual compat and isn't that what matters in the end you know?

-- libcrypt, Wednesday, June 18, 2008 1:17 AM (6 days ago) Bookmark Link

why do girls love this reality show bullshit

for real i think if i met a girl who hated all shows about following around tards with a camera or tards competing while they live together in a shitty loft with an alex in nyc style passion i would marry her on the spot

I think babies hate those kind of shows. And cats. And the mighty bottom-feeding fish, the plecostomus. And mostly me.

even i cant claim that level of purity cuz i love the ego trip rapper shows but man sometimes im watching that and when its more reality tv than race-baiting and brand nubian cameos im like blhghugghgh

aw didnt you already a start an entire thread on this phenomenon??

http://www.ilxor.com/ILX/ThreadSelectedControllerServlet?boardid=77&threadid=238

(xp to abbott) babies hate cats or cats hate those shows?

Those shows, mainly bcz they are not cognizant enough to follow them.

ah i c xps

seriously though in my experience guys are just as willing to watch but much less willing to tune in

reality shows are just like visual gossip, right?

god hell, the idea of meeting *anyone* with the exact same interests as me is deeply unappealing.

this is partly because i am working on a top-secret thesis and if anyone knew what i know and had done the research i've done, i'd be pretty fuckin' worried.

this isn't too healthy, i guess.

I don't like reality TV but I loooooove food and home design/renovation programming, so you'd just be transferring the hate.

women be shoppin!

Laurel, I hate food and cooking and I hate any kind of work around the house (painting, decorating etc) but I freakin LOVE cooking shows and flip/sell/hunt this house type shows. i dont even know why.

Transference?

this thread is like advanced conversation skills

I think I sent an e-mail to the IDM-l that reeked of Lorax's opening post about 11 years ago

heheh tombeauto

I freakin LOVE cooking shows and flip/sell/hunt this house type shows. i dont even know why.

It's b/c you are my ex-girlfriend's mom, obv.

Where I get into trouble as far as this whole subject area goes is that I am extremely easily entertained by whatever phenomena...and verily easily amused by people of whatever stripe; which results in me spending time with someone for a few days and being like "omg, you are totally amazing and fun to hang out with...you are so human"...and then a couple of weeks later my cultural prejudices and snobberies suddenly kick into high gear, and I start to bemoan the fact that the other person does not share the same obsessions that I have... or darn it, they are just not as wonderfully broad-minded as I flatter myself to be, etc.

I don't care if we have the same interests so much as that we both have a couple weird dorky interests and don't mind hearing about each other's a bit.

^^^recipe for happiness

*sigh* now i just need to find someone to be happy with. and get over the one i'm not with.

i used to hate reality shows except for a handful a few years ago like survivor and cooking and house decorating and fashion/entertainment and even the one abt tattooing in LA but now i fucking hate them all with a passion fueled partly because of how duped i was to fall for some of them and their loathsome purposeful and celebrated retardedness suitable only for attaining levels of personal vegetation required to alleviate procrastination- and self-depreciation-related stress that in retrospect only made things worse as it was clearly not even the wrong answer but not an answer at all.
but this is also kinda meh for me b/c i do find tyra hilarious and yet cannot watch without mental pain for more than 2 minutes

julia child cooking shows remain watchable tho but yknow that is oldschool reality

oh i like the straight-up operation shows but i don't know if those exist anymore w/o some human-interest story attached (not that i am becoming cruel just that these are so disgustingly manipulative and then all the commercials are for tampons and air freshener)

True Stories Of The E.R. and Doctor G Medical Examiner can be pretty decent from time to time

i dont really like watching tv, full stop - NOT THAT I DONT, ever! just kinda gets boring to me, all them fucking commercials.

I DO LOVE QVC THO

Top Chef is good.

I get sick of flip that house/home design/etc. because they're either retarded (LOOK I CAN TELL JUST BY STANDING HERE THAT THIS REMODEL WILL COST $245K!/I CAN MAKE A 300% PROFIT JUST BY PAINTING) or the final design stuff looks cheap and stupid. This Old House + New Yankee Workshop, though are teh awes.

Mythbusters/Survivorman/Man vs. Wild are good in small doses but get boring pretty quick.

at first, tv on the internet made me watch all kinds of dubious tv shows (commercial free!), and then the novelty wore off so that now i watch maybe the first 10 min of an episode or two of some show someone recommends and for the most part they get the kibosh. which is also totally weird b/c as ile archives will probably show, i watched and enjoyed several episodes of stuff like 'point pleasant' and 'life as we know it'

I don't understand the concept of furniture being such a big deal to both buyers and sellers on those house-flip shows.

BUYER: I can't buy this house! It has a black velvet painting of a tiger on the wall!
(Buyer is buying the wall, not the painting.)

SELLER: But I can't take that black velvet painting of a tiger down from that wall. My college roommate bought it for me!
(You're not trying to sell the painting. You're trying to sell the wall!)

Honest to God, I saw one where the couple had hired a sculptor to build this weird gnarly forest of trees coming out of the walls and embracing the fireplace mantle. Then they got pissy when the real estate agent said, "Uh, get rid of the fuckin' trees."

I know, those shows confuse me, too. But those people who can't see past the floral wallpaper on some old biddy's lifetime English cottage are the same people who don't buy nice old houses and then FUCK THEM UP, because they can't see past 50 years of wear and tear, either. I suppose I'm grateful for their lack of imagination.