Your favourite jokes about Euro 2008

...to his friend, who is presumably called Rich

Q. What happens when Turkey become exhausted because they're missing so many players they're unable to field a full 11?
A. They find it Arda Turan (harder to run)!

What Euro 2008 footballer has a hairless bottom?
Andrei Arse-shaven (Arshavin)

What Euro 2008 team has the fastest runners?
Russia (rusher)

Q. What do you say when a wayward shot from a German midfielder knocks Sulley Munatari's burger out of his hand in the stands?
A. Now I've seen everything!!

Which Euro 2008 team has the dryest attractive members?

Spain. Because in Spain the rain falls mainly on the plain.

Which Italian footballer likes to stare at demons commonly found in Japanese mythology?
Look at oni (Luca Toni)!

What did the big Karim Benzema say to the little Karim Benzema?
Stop hiding behind that tree!

What do you do if Jan Koller sits in front of you at the cinema?
Miss most of the film!

Q. Why did was Torsten Frings upset at Michael Ballack?
A. Because he punched him in the throat!

Q: Why was Clare Balding?
A: Because Alan shear her (Clare Balding is a fairly well respected BBC sports pundit, Alan Shearer is a completely useless BBC sports pundit who is covering Euro 2008)!

What is a Swiss footballer's favourite thing to do with a letter?
Send it somewhere (Philippe Senderos)!

Thread needs DJ Mencap ASAP.

Q: What is Euro 2008's favourite Xmas bird which makes a gobbling sound?
A: Turkey (Turkey is also the name of a country in Asia)!

Q. What does Andy Townsend say when his co-pundit asks him for another word for eskimo?
A. Inuit, Bolo (Inuit is a general term for a group of culturally similar indigenous peoples inhabiting the Arctic regions of Alaska, Greenland, and Canada. Bolo 'Bolo' Zenden is a footballer of limited abilities)!

Q. What do you call a footballer who is arrested for causing a disturbance in an Accident and Emergency ward while dressed as a sailor?
A. Hamit Altintop!

Q. Why was Miroslave Klose?
A. Because Mehmet Aurelio!

Q. Which Dutch footballer would you take with you whilst going on a burglary spree?
A. Robbing-van Persie (Robin van Persie)!

- What do you call a BBC anchor who has a terrible presenting voice, if of limited knowledge and intelligence, seems to come from some kind of drippy Home Counties village where he has honed his failed laddishness, and should never have been unleashed on a broadcast TV audience?

- Jake Humphrey.

*is* of

I guess the joke could follow JH's name with the whole description again, to leave no ambiguity.

A blond footballer competing in Euro 2008 and a brunette footballer competing in Euro 2008 are walking down the street together when the brunette footballer competing in Euro 2008 spots his husband in a flower shop across the street.
Brunette footballer competing in Euro 2008: Oh, no! He's buying me flowers again!
Blond footballer competing in Euro 2008: What's wrong? I love when men buy me flowers!
Brunette footballer competing in Euro 2008: Well, he's going to come home with them tonight and expect me to spend the next week on my back with my legs in the air.
Blond footballer competing in Euro 2008: Why aren’t referees clamping down on this persistent timewasting and gamesmanship?

*Brune :P

Who is the best footballer at Euro 2008?
Michael Chopra!

Q. Why are Germany playing with such effective simplicity and mutual understanding?
A. They were playing under Lehmann's terms

Q. Why did Nicolae Dica make only subtstitute appearances for Romania during Romania's Euro 2008 campaign?
A. Perhaps it was something to do with the government!

Inuit Bolo!!! Hahahahaha.

Q. Which BBC football pundit likes drinks a gin & vermouth cocktail?

A. Martini O'Neill (Martin O'Neill)

likes drinks?

yes

Q. What did Martin O'Neill say when Lee Dixon made an insightful comment immediately after the two of them had fallen into a tar pit?
A. I agree with you in tar, Lee (Martin O'Neill has a strong Ulster accent and pronounces words incorrectly)!

Why did Colin Kazim Richard cross the road?

Because he's too shit to be on this side!

Q: Why is Wayne Rooney crying?
A: Because Colin Kazim-Richards is a UEFA European Championship semi-finalist and Rooney isn't (Colin Kazim-Richards is shit)

Q: Who is the most overweight manager at Euro 2008?
A: 'Fatty' Terim! ('Fatty' Terim is a song by My Bloody Valentine)

Q: Which Turkish team member starred in the Muppet Show?
A: Hamit 'the frog' Altintop (Hamit The Frog was a character in the Muppet Show)

Q: Why was Clare Balding?

A: Because Alan shear her (Clare Balding is a fairly well respected BBC sports pundit, Alan Shearer is a completely useless BBC sports pundit who is covering Euro 2008)!

― aldo, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 14:15 (eleven years ago) bookmarkflaglink

vg, vg