Better industrial design

wrong

http://qpmstationery.com/Images/Products/EagleStapleRemover.jpg

right

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31EZDBD01EL._SL500_AA280_.jpg

wrong

http://www.cooking.com/images/products/shprodde/115695.jpg

right

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00004WGUQ.01.MZZZZZZZ.jpg

eliminate moving parts whenever possible

at the expense of usability

I love my pizza cutter.

moonship otm at least as far as the staple remover goes
I mean with that other thing why the fuck not just keep a philips head handy

better industrial design = have more than one purpose
cf. alton brown

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/313W5KZKFBL._SL500_AA250_.jpg

A+

can also be used for signalling when lost at sea etc

Moonship, Tom - if you really think the claw is inferior functionally to the lever, I am quite certain that you have never compared the two in a work environment. The pizza knife and staple remover were both specifically chosen because they work much much better than the traditional versions.

the lever is only moderately useful when removing staples from thicker than average documents; otherwise you can't get the same leverage that you can with the claw

the moon pizza cutter looks like there's far more potential for mess than with the traditional cutter

My experience says otherwise on both counts.

The lever is good up to about a half inch or so, and then the claw is even worse - it tends to tear shit up, for one thing, and break the staple so you have to tear shit up worse for another. In that case, an actual flathead (it's okay, Tom, it was late) screwdriver is better than the relatively less robust one I pictured up there.

As for the wheel vs. rocker knife, the latter is much easier to clean precisely BECAUSE it doesn't have moving parts. It also means you're not pushing anything back and forth spilling stuff all over the place. Pressure goes straight down for max cutting efficiency.

scissors are much better than either of those pizza cutters for pizzas 12" or smaller

http://www.jbsilverware.co.uk/ProductImages/btc.jpg
vs
http://www.drinkstuff.com/productimg/20293_large.jpg
vs
http://www.madcarl.com/corkscrew.gif

... vs
http://www.brasscompass.com/corkscrew3.jpg

^ the fucking rolls royce of corkscrews

if you really think the claw is inferior functionally to the lever, I am quite certain that you have never compared the two in a work environment.

As someone who has to remove staples from legal documents all day (so they can be scanned) I say you are way wrong on this. The non-claw one only works well for very light staples/small numbers of pages.

^that is what I am saying

Fucking Rolls royce of corkscrews, but only as manufactured by british leyland. Mine broke down all to quickly. It's the waiter's friend or La Donna Francese all the way for me.

I have an off-brand rabbit corkscrew and it's useless. Never tried the real one, but I find the wavey arm guy to work just fine.

I definitely favour the t-shaped style of corkscrew. I also generally cut pizzas with a big fucking kitchen knife that has a blade long enough to 'rock' across the whole diameter.

Thesis disproved. QED.

wavey arm corkscrew guy is definitely the most personable. such a happy dude, always wavin' his arms. and the staple claw guy, he's all grr grr godzilla.

yeah more stupid twee anthropomorphism in industrial design plz.

I have an awesome claw staple remover that has a cobra-like *hood*

Actually I forgot about this kind, which is arguably even better:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/18/Swingline_Model_37201_staple_remover_side.JPG/800px-Swingline_Model_37201_staple_remover_side.JPG

Oh yeah, for serious monster docs that guy is ace.

The industry standard for document decollation professionals

I like the arm-wavey corkscrew because it also functions as a beer-bottle opener. The beer bottle opener mounted to the underside of a counter is pretty great too, though.

waiter's friend has a bottle opener on it too

hmmm - true. But it isn't as pretty!

I worked one summer at a bookbindery whose specialty was binding magazine and academic journal collections for libraries. I had to use this pneumatic staple removing machine that worked like a drill press and could bust through staples that were buried under glue. That thing was aces.

Anyway, letter openers:

http://www.crobike.de/en/werbemittel_bilder/promopeddler/10200/21026.jpg

vs.

http://www.adproductstogo.com/Letter_Openers-GaryLO2%20SMB-%2004.jpg

I keep one of the latter on my desk at work. Love it. Granted, you can't stab a burglar in the face with it, but still.

xp The beer bottle opener mounted to the underside of a counter is pretty great too, though.
Yes! I have this at home.

pac man letter opener ftw

Straight letter opener is like a sad knife.

scissors are much better than either of those pizza cutters for pizzas 12" or smaller

i had noodles at a korean restaurant yesterday and the waitress brought them and then stuck a pair of kitchen scissors into the bowl and cut them up a bunch and told me to stir the whole thing around. i mean i've eaten korean food before but every time this kind of scissor treatment strikes me as both bizarre and totally logical & awesome

Giant pizza cutter makes perfect sense in a pro environment or if you have shitloads of space. Roller makes sense if you want to put it in a drawer.