100 Uses of Vaseline

2. Drawing out ticks.

3. horse hooves

4. matthew barney sculptures

5. lubricant for hinges on turntable's dust cover.

6.

http://www.geocities.com/afroassault/gothic/vaseline.jpg

A newly married couple had only just laid down to sleep when an armed robber burst into their bedroom. Screaming violently, he ordered them to lay still while he tied up their hands and feet. He first tied up the husband then went over to the wife. The husband saw him whisper something into her hear and she whispered something back to him. The robber then left the room, indicating that he'd be back. When he was gone, the husband said to his wife, "Honey, this guy looks like a real wacko, don't resist him, just do as he says". "Oh no!", the wife replied, "It isn't that, he was asking me if we had a vaseline jar, now he's gone to the medicine cabinet to fetch it, I think he likes you".

7. Mix with Fedora 9 and use as the resultant paste between two REAL operating systems

8. lips
9. teeth
10. elastica song
11. art object

12. something to gather dust as it sits

13. emotions

14. sabotage

15. greasing the tip of a cane

16. when a recipe calls for "shortening," in a pinch

17. fly-away frizzies

18. conversation (everyone has a story about vaseline)

19. gift it

20. those gloves people put on overnight, you can use vaseline to the same effect

21. suffocating insects

22. for colleges to stock in campus bookstores

(21 otm)

23 - treating a boxer's cuts

24 - soft focus

Suffocating insects?

See also #2.

greasing up pigs

you can kill insects with vasline

how can they breathe with no air

http://www.rockmine.com/A_Cyclo/Altern8.GIF
26. cutting agent for unscrupulous dealers

I have no idea what kind of drug you could cut with vaseline.

27. making apples look shiny for the big photoshoot

28) Smeared over the lens for a soft porn photo shoot.

29) you can use the concept vaseline in poetry

29. gliding through Skull & Bones initiation ceremony rites

i see you were unhappy with my 29. just to defend my idea, here is a poem about vaseline.

cut

i rub
the vaseline
keep it on the shelf
above where
you used to put your razor.

merely an oversight of mine during an xpost

to make amends:

that frictionless smile
teeth and lipstick unacquainted
love starts generously
with vaseline on a fingertip

Re: smothering insects: Do you just run around and put a dab on an insect, or do you use it more creatively?

A dollop on a spoon which is then gripped by its handle with one hand, with the spoon's bowl tipped back by the index fingertip of the opposite hand, held in tension until it is released, causing the vaseline to be flung at the insect as it crawls upon a wall, pinning it and suffocating it.

NB: this works less well on an insect crawling on a screen door, as it may still be able to breath.

31. Adding shiny spots to yr walls.

32 - rearranging into the words "live sane"

33 - getting you thinking about vases

34 - bringing up the question of how your friends say vase

35 - substitute for barbecue sauce