Shakiest platitudes, cliches and sayings

"What goes around comes around"

"Everything happens for a reason"

"Cheap at half the price." OF COURSE IT WOULD BE CHEAPER IF IT WAS HALF THE PRICE. WTF DOES THIS MEAN???

you can't see the forest for the trees
stfu

I think the problem with loads of these is that originally they contained a dollops of humour and/or irony, but with overuse that's been lost. Definitely think that's the case with "cheap at half the price". And "he wants to have his cake and eat it" always struck me as one of those too - I'm always hearing people baulk at it ("what else would you do with a cake!??"), but surely it was always meant to be a bit comedically nonsensical?

Oh wait, I'm wrong about eating cake I guess, this is interesing.

saying someone "means well" = guarantee you'll be fucked over by said person's incompetence and/or idiocy

related: "the road to hell is paved with good intentions"

wtf?

so people that try to do good but fail go to hell?

does it really mean "the road to hell is paved with intentions which, unexamined, might appear good, but are in fact self-serving or otherwise sinful?"

or "the road to hell is paved with good intentions which, however, fail in execution due to a sinful and destructive complacency and incompetence, doing more harm than good to the intended beneficiaries?"

because either of those would actually make some sense, but that's not what the saying, read literally, means.

That's an anti-procrastination one really, isn't it? Usually used when people say "oh yeah, sorry, I meant to give that money to charity, I just haven't done yet", or whatever. Implication being that they never will, and will therefore GO TO HELL.

i don't know how shaky most of these are. cheap at half the price is pretty stupid. i always assumed it was a quote from a movie or something.

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has."

The "cheap at half the price" one is a lolz version of what (apparently) was a bit of olde salesman patter, "this would be cheap at twice the price!" Note the mind-clouding rhyme, which causes the customer's neurons to fail, leading to the Big Sale.

Ah ok. Used the way JimD explains it makes sense. I've heard it used ... inappropriately.

Finding out that I'm stupid, not the world, is an ok outcome for this thread.

no yr versions were more accurate to actual usage than jims - ie people whip that one out when actions lead to unintended consequences - never heard it used for inaction

Really? I can only remember it being used for inaction.

But, if the unintended consequence of one's well-meant actions were a war, then, war being hell, the saying would become apt.

weird - maybe its a euro/america thing xp

Maybe Americans are more suspicious of do-gooders.

anyway its not a terrible expression when pointing out that skill and discretion are needed in addition to good intentions - which is how i always took it

An example of someone going to hell:

http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/I/41TJSEGRBTL.jpg

this thread should be about shakey's sayings

"if you don't love yourself, you can't love anybody else" - y/n?

to me, "if you don't treat yourself with a bit of respect and dignity, people who you might have otherwise had a chance with will see you as sad and desperate"

or alternately "you're guaranteed to be someone's doormat"

Also, why in "Gold Digger" does Kanye say "We want hen fap?"? That's a pretty dumb thing to say.

"if you don't love yourself, you can't love anybody else" - y/n?

-- get bent, Sunday, July 6, 2008 6:03 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

madonna is really into this

people talking about self-love is nauseating. do it, don't talk about it.

Also, why in "Gold Digger" does Kanye say "We want hen fap?"? That's a pretty dumb thing to say.

-- The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Sunday, July 6, 2008 2:06 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

prob just one of those trans atlantic misunderstandings - in america it means "ska punk"

a hen fap is a jelly donut

jbr, Ive always heard it as "if you don't love yourself how can you expect anyone else to love you"

Just what I imagine Shakey would say, if he were still alive.

"he/she is in a better place." If someone said this to me after losing a loved one, I think I'd smack them.

I always thought "Great minds think alike" was a joke, used when two people say/think the same (usu. non-brilliant) thing. Is it used in any other context?

"Can't see the forest for the trees" certainly seems apt to me as a metaphor for being so engrossed in minutiae that you lose sight of the larger issues.

all's fair in love and war

^^^last rally cry of the cunt

"How was your [insert name of holiday here]?" Generally, people who say this don't really care.

last rally cry of the cunt

great screenname here for the taking ppl

i think it should be "rallying" though, right?

"It is easier to ask forgiveness, than to ask permission."

Used to justify every kind of harmful behavior.

but anyone justifying harmful behavior with that platitude comes across as chickenshit.

"do unto others as you would have them do unto"

underestimates the amount of masochists in the world

always thought the golden rule was bs because so many people either like to be treated badly or can't handle being treated well.

"it is the Lord's will"

"The exception that proves the rule"

I understand what it's supposed to mean, but pretty nobody uses this in a way that makes sense

Howbout when two sayings directly contradict each other, like "The squeaky wheel gets the grease" vs. "Catch more flies with honey than vinegar"

I don't think those directly contradict each other.

"Many hands make light work" vs. "Too many chefs spoil the broth"

many but not too many! it is a question of fine-tuning, moderation and balance

OTM

I see what you did there

what did I do?

Regarding that Golden Rule thing. OTM that some people enjoy being treated poorly while others can't deal with being treated well. I like the way the Hebrew Sage Hillel put it. An elder contemporary of Jesus, when he was asked to sum up the entire Torah Hillel said: "That which is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow. That is the whole Torah; the rest is commentary."

"We have a long, sad history in this country of..."

"In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king." Seems really unlikely -- wouldn't he be treated as some kind of babbling freak? First, the world would be designed for blind people, and second, no one would have any context for what the sighted man was talking about.

but the one-eyed man would be able to exploit and subjugate all the others based on his unique skill

I'm having a hard time seeing how that would play out.

You are one-eyed man and you have just been air dropped into blindville. What are your first moves toward becoming king?

lots of giving people the finger when theyre pissing you off. crouching in front of people as they go out for a walk so they topple over. pantsing people and then running away quickly.

assassinate existing king by tiptoeing up to him and hitting him with something large over the head

Upon discovering that everyone is blind, Nuñez begins reciting to himself the refrain, "In the Country of the Blind, the One-Eyed Man is King". He realises that he can teach and rule them, but the villagers have no concept of sight, and do not understand his attempts to explain this fifth sense to them. Frustrated, Nuñez becomes angry, but the villagers calm him, and he reluctantly submits to their way of life, because returning to the outside world seems impossible.

Nuñez is assigned to work for a villager named Yacob. He becomes attracted to Yacob's youngest daughter, Medina-Saroté. Nuñez and Medina-Saroté soon fall in love with one another, and having won her confidence, Nuñez slowly starts trying to explain sight to her. Medina-Saroté, however, simply dismisses it as his imagination. When Nuñez asks for her hand in marriage, he is turned down by the village elders on account of his "unstable" obsession with "sight". The village doctor suggests that Nuñez's eyes be removed, claiming that they are diseased and are affecting his brain. Nuñez reluctantly consents to the operation because of his love for Medina-Saroté. However, at sunrise on the day of the operation, while all the villagers are asleep, Nuñez, the failed King of the Blind, sets off for the mountains (without provisions or equipment), hoping to find a passage to the outside world, and escape the valley.

see also Saramago's "Blindness" which addresses this very scenario

I imagine many sociopathic CEOs consider themselves to be one-eyed among the blind, whom they exploit in order to rule as our monarchs.

I hate "a penny saved is a penny earned."

Only when you need the thing and you were going to buy the thing anyway. If I buy a guitar that is ordinarily $3,000 for $2,000, I have not earned $1,000.

Well, that's only on account of the meaningless, consumerist/marketing-driven definition of "save" that has taken hold.

i always took that to mean that money you put in the bank is earned money, and not, like, coupons.

Save money = keep money. That's the idea. Until global economics robs you of savings and pensions.