uhgrhg, finding out a girl you totally have a crush on is dating someone

Yeah I'm that way, too, but you know...persistence...

So you literally found this out *while* you were on a date with her? How awful. I guess I'd wonder what the surrounding circumstances were, what kind of signals she gave off, etc.

Well, it wasn't nominally a date. No, it just came up ... we were walking back and I asked her about the shows she was going to, and she said she was seeing a lot of them on the account of some guy she was dating being in one of the bands (the kind you'd find on the Pitchfork MP3 of the Day thing).

I ask her, "man, everyone I know's dating someone now. What am I doing wrong?"

and she tells me to take action on things no matter how awkward it is. I guess it's a good lesson ... I've never given a rat's ass about this stuff until recently, so I just shrug and move about life, kinda like a less sexy Eliot Gould.

She said she hasn't seen him in 5 months and I'm like, "yo, could I move in on that?" but then you think, why mention the dating thing in the first place. And, I kinda made an ass out of myself by asking those, "you're a girl, what's your opinion on what I've been doing here?"

Okay woah, woah. She's dating him but she hasn't seen him in 5 months?

i don't think she's dating anyone

the truth is:

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/068987474X.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

Touring with the band. Well, she sees him once a month and is going on the hope that he'll a) move to Brooklyn permanently in January or b) she'll move to where he lives next year. I mostly just feel like an ass for doing the whole, "man, what's up with me? What's your girl's opinion on my game? It's tough out for me in New York." and she's like "well, you're a weird boy ... I can't say about the other girls here, it's something I get((nb: but not necessarily relating to me, just in general))."

Eh, we're friends anyway. I probably just need to take more action in life.

It's a well known indie pop band, so it's not a tall tale or anything to get me away. But the fact that she mentioned it, eh, probably means I should just forget about it. Or, I give up on everything immediately.

If she doesn't see him that much, she may be looking around, but if she was looking at you then she would never have brought him up.

Also, "Man, what's up with me?" => you will be friends forever.

btw that sounded kinda harsh but I feel you man, totally a shitty moment whenever you realize something like that.

haha, yeah, definitely shouldn't have said that. I mean, we've been friends for over a year now but we don't really see each other much. I know she's physically attracted to me and all that crap, I was just so taken aback by what she said that I figured, why not see what's going on with me.

Like, in all the times we've talked during those 5 months she never mentioned that shit. I guess I just asked the wrong subject ... indie pop bands you've seen lately, and it hit. Oh well, my biggest regret is doing that whole stupid "what's my game here?" thing.

note: under pressure I turn into a nebbishy Woody Allen stereotype

Figuring all that in, still possible to try, or did I salt the earth with my stupid 5 minute end conversation there?

"and she tells me to take action on things no matter how awkward it is."

Yeah, I'm like, "what, does she want me to kiss her now?" but I felt so stupid about what I said with all that "your thoughts on my game" crap I was like, "my balls are officially inside of me, goodnight." If she agrees to hang out again I'll do something stupid.

Oh yeah, more stupid shit I said. She's like, "well, you've got three weeks left before you disappear under the work for school, we should keep in touch." and I"m like "yeah, we should definitely hang out [[blah blah, drunken rambling]]", and she's like "yeah, let's keep in touch. goodnight burt_stanton".

haha, don't be retarded, dudes. My hanging out with girls usually goes so much better. Having a crush on someone turns you into a moron.

lols @ goodnight burt_stanton

underscore and all

Whoa whoa whoa you've been friends for a YEAR and she never told you about dating the guy?

Obviously she started dating him cause she got tired of waiting for you to ball up and make a move. Now you've got to do something before whats-his-name's band gets reviewed in Pfork. Unless they give it a 6.0 or lower, in which case that should make things easier for you.

Yeah, I had a window of about two weeks to mackalack earlier this year, but I dropped the friggin ball. I told her the girl I was just dating is now dating some dude who played Bonarro, and was like, "haha, doing much better than my guy, nobody's ever heard of [band name]".

Being in bands still seems like the key to getting your WURRWURRR on.

i believe in you, burt_stanton

Some day soon, some wonderful sunny day, you will get some.

dude will you stfu about dude in the "pitchfork" band?? sounds like you wanna lick his balls instead of this chick you're too scared to slang dick to

oh ho

:[ My serious, only regret was doing that fucking pussy-ass "what's my game like?" thing. and also drunken, incoherent mumbling.

I get "some" fine, I'm just an emotionally dead weirdo. Actually crushing screws me up.

Being in bands still seems like the key to getting your WURRWURRR on.

none of the girls that support this theory are in any way worth dating

Actually I think being in a band is totally accidental... it just happens that they were. Unfortuantely spaced out weirdo only goes so far if you don't have the beard to back it up.

Dude, being in bands has helped me into at least two pretty good relationships, if not more. Don't listen to the haters, burt, pick up a fucking guitar.

you should try being an interesting person instead of the whole band thing

not directed at you burt, just in general

I've done OK regardless, I just blow my chances with gurls I actualyl like. :{ Unfortunately I'm about to go into law school, where it will be a little more difficult to get my bone on.

So, did I flush all chances with this girl down the toilet? I'm punching myself in gut over here. As Edward Dahlberg once said, "everything you do you will regret" or some old man shit like that.

and she tells me to take action on things no matter how awkward it is.

sounds like an opening, so maybe you should talk to her again maybe ask her out to a movie or whatever

Yeah, that was her advice. It was relating to how she met the current guy she's dating who came up to her out of nowhere, and said that's something you can do. She's right, just taking action is totally the way to go. I always let girls do all the work. :S

Ah well, tnhanks for the advice all. burt_mcgurt needs to learn a few things.

i.e. barre chords.

yeah, maybe i'll start my one man band. I write better than I do music, but nobody gives a shit about writing. I'll try this girl one more time and just go all out... I'm like Eliot Gould in Little Murders these days. I'm probably making a total mistake.

burt you are like 10 years out of high school get your shit together

yeah. ;{ I'm normally more put together, but I fucking vomited some real dumb ass shit tonight. That's the only thing I care about, the stupid ass stuff I said about the whole "in your girl's opinion, what's my thing here?" If I weren't drunk and exhausted I'd never say that.

That really fucked up any future macking potential, if there was any to begin with.

name the fucking band

We all say dumb shit, burt. Godspeed.

Also yeah, name the band, there are enough music critics on this board, ILX could end their careers for you.

I already have an unfinished demo ... hasn't been updated since 2000.

ay burt when the chick says this:

and she tells me to take action on things no matter how awkward it is.

she means "GO FOR IT"

Well, she was looking right in my eyes when she was saying all that shit at her door, her leg in that outstretched leaning thing girls do (I was turning to simper away to my apartment after realizing the dumbass mopey shit I said to her). I'll give it another shot next week.

I don't think she does mean "GO FOR IT" with her...otherwise she'd never have mentioned she's dating someone.

ymmv but I think it's a bad policy to date someone you're crushing on. Crushes and dates = two separate categories.

5 years ago this girl I had a thing for was like "there's this guy I like...it's not you, sorry" and I was like "damn"

she married him last month lol

I have this concept

all of you guys on this thread go buy a gun and some ammunition

then BLAM!!!

problem solved

oh god I'm so hard and awesome I can't EVEN STAND IT

by the way?
just a little bit of advice -
DO NOT FEED

THE TROLL