Cockney poll

It's A Right Royal Cockney Barrel Of Monkeys

YBA?

Fruit stall trader, easy.

http://www.virginmedia.com/images/mike-reid.jpg

Rahnarrrahhhannnnnnnd nnnnnnnnNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOWWWWW!

Oh god, he's started on the geographic stereotypes now.

No room for Gorblimey Thesps? Yer Winstones, yer 'Oskinseseses?

Dick Van Dyke as a cheery cock-er-knee chimney sweep...

Winstone and his pointless daughter are a big omission, certainly.

xp

"young british artist" in which case the accent is probably a put-on. I prefer the opposite - Jessie Matthews putting on the cut-glass accent when she was really a coster-monger's daughter.

You want me to dump this one so you can start it again?

Or Kenny Williams the barber's son (xp)

No room for Gorblimey Thesps? Yer Winstones, yer 'Oskinseseses?

Is Danny Dyer a representative of all these people, or is he a whole other breed of annoying bastard? (I know which one my money's on)

He stands alone. Yer Gorblimey Thesp is usu. a more respected actor, even tho, Sean Connery style, they can only do one accent

That football thing with Dyer + Winstone in it was choice tho, orwight?

Where does Frank Butcher fall into this?

He's a "Fruit stall trader with hand on the scales" tyep

Yeah, lovable rogue who beats his wife

What about '17 year old boy racer'?

Oh you get them all over

If I had to associate one town with boy racers I'd probably choose somewhere like, I dunno, Wigan

True or false - Martine McCutcheon has developed her entire career solely out of residual affection for the Victorian Housemaid?

I suppose Blowsy Sozzled Man-Eating Old Bag is fairly universal too

Wot no Chas & Dave?

Gertcha!

rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit

I don't care, I don't care, I don't care if he comes round here...

Chas & Dave are the original Mockneys

Mockney?!!??! Gertcha!!!!!!!!!!

OG

http://members.aol.com/sherryberry88/murder/angela17.JPG

"Beale makes every line sing, and makes every line his own"

can i vote for these guys: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/0b/Pearlykingandqueen.jpg

Pearly King/Queen

You sure can. I'd totally vote Chas & Dave if allowed. Rockney, not Cockney or Mockney, though.

http://lhsvikings.com/images/77rockneycarter.jpg

http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Arts/Arts_/Pictures/2007/05/17/longgoodfriday460.jpg

1960s East End hardman

That's a 1970s East End hardman, you muppet

Sort it aaaht.

http://www.famemagazine.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/spandau_ballet.jpg

Sorry - 1960s East End hardman

Some wikipedia things I never knew about the Crafty Cockney:

During the Swedish Open in the summer of 1987, he found himself unable to let go of his darts properly - a psychological condition known as dartitis

Bristow was awarded the MBE for his services to darts in 1989.

Bristow is a polydactyl, having six toes on his right foot, which some say gave him an advantage in balance over other players.

Bristow was accused of assaulting his wife, Jane (b. 1962) in 2005. They had been married since c. 1989. North Staffordshire magistrates ordered him to stay away from the family home in Millington Way, Leek, Staffordshire and he was remanded on conditional bail.[3] Bristow was alleged to have punched her in the face during a drunken row in their bedroom on April 29, 2005. [4]. He was eventually cleared of the charges.[5] After the case was concluded Bristow said that his wife had just got a new boyfriend and wanted a divorce and he was now living with his children at his mother's house in Leek. [6] Bristow was also involved in a public disturbance in Gateshead, which was by chance recorded by police reality show 'Street Crime UK', and then broadcast as part of an episode of the show.

that MBE thing is ridiculous

But, but, but - it's for services to darts!

Yes, why shouldn't he get an MBE?

I can't believe they settled on 'crafty' for his nickname when the man had six facking toes.

Maybe it's cos he had to custom build his own flip-flops.

http://www.etontshirt.co.uk/designs/LC4.gif

You've left off Tube Drivers Union Representative.

aka Bolshy Unreconstructed Union Heavy Out of Daily Mail Readers' Nightmares

Danny Dyer is the biggest wannabe cockney ever

http://www.casspennant.com/CentreToe_tamer.html

Q9, You and Danny Dyer are quite close mates so have you got any Danny Dyer moments to share with us?

Danny Dyer is Danny Dyer and his dialogue is second to none and if you’re asking me for Danny Dyer moments then it’s the nut, he always gets his nuts out and he’s got one big nut that’s Jurassic, it’s a beautiful thing and without sounding like a iron, it’s insane and is our little party piece, I go have you seen the nut and Danny would go have a look at that then. It’s the size of an ostrich egg and anyone that knows Danny would have seen the nut. So if you were ever to meet Danny just say to him can I see your nut and he’ll show it to yer.

It's got to be '60s hardman who only ever killed his own.

You missed out the "dog" option though. I think Tyson the rottweiler who was only playin' with you when 'e bit yer 'ead off deserves a category of his own.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEIU-9eYgCA&feature=related

Tempted to vote for east end hardmen, if only for the fact that my great uncle (who has decorated his walls mainly using paintings of the queen and photos of him boxing with one of the Krays) had the following conversation with my dad one christmas:

MY DAD: I just dont agree with the death penalty

HIM: What about for rape?

MY DAD: No, not even for that.

HIM: What if someone raped your wife? (bear in mind I am about 8 years old and sitting next to them at this time)

MY DAD: I still wouldn't agree with the death penalty.

HIM: Bollocks. Listen to me, if it ever happens, I know a bloke, £500, chop his fackin head off for you.

Did anyone else read the Danny Dyer '60m second interview' thing in the Metro a while back, I seem to remember it had some good stuff in it.

60 second interview. Not sure how a 60m interview would work.

Here it is

We filmed down Fred West’s street. It was for The Outlaw, I did it with Nick Love and Bob Hoskins. It’s about a bunch of guys who are fed up with how f*cked this government is with letting paedophiles run around and they decide to right a few wrongs and start killing nonces. It’s a bit mad but I’m really proud of it.

You were on the front cover of a gay magazine last year. What did your mates think?
I got a lot of grief for it but I don’t give a f*ck. I’m not queer. I’ve got nothing against queers – they’re sweet as a nut – but it was a bit of a mad statement for me to make, being a bit of a laddy actor and because I was promoting a documentary about football hooligans at the time. So, to be on the front of a queer magazine with my top off and then go around the country talking to hooligans... I don’t think there are many people who could get away with that. I was happy with the picture but I still get grief for it and I accept that.

Do you think vigilantism should be encouraged?
It depends what it’s for, if it’s to kill nonces I’m all for it.

blueski, i love that bit, i like how succinctly he deals with the topic

i was going to post that 'queers - sweet as a nut' ting but after all the 'nonce' stuff it's fairly blah

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Talking to a journalist, the actor said he didn't fancy any of the Nancys and that they were all rubbish.

http://www.lifetothefullchurch.com/tough%20talk.html

^^Born-again hardmen^^