Anyone anticipating Woody Allen's "Vicky Cristina Barcelona"?

hooray

I am still eagerly awaiting seeing his previous one with Ewan Macgregor and Colin Ferrell (that came and went in no time!)

A friend of mine who was at Cannes says this was the best thing he saw there.

I would like the cast if Penelope Cruz weren't in it

thing is, the good reviews he got in '05 were wrong, and he's never been afraid to waste a good cast.

what? this was made by Woody Allen?

how the mighty have fallen-- this looks awful!

I am still eagerly awaiting seeing his previous one with Ewan Macgregor and Colin Ferrell (that came and went in no time!

That was genuinely the worst, most inept film I have ever seen. Worth catching for the lulz, maybe.

Agree. It's really awful.

I'm going to a screening this week, hoping that my skipping the last two will make this one good.

oh god yeah Cassandra's Dream. it was like a bad novel adaptation where all the exposition and internal monologues were desperately crammed into the dialogue. (xpost)

Maybe anticipate at your peril?

The opening b.o. was good, but actually lower than Scoop. (Olympics, perhaps)

I liked this more than expected. Penelope Cruz should get the Oscar nod she didn't quite deserve the last time.

this was bad.

This was sold out when I tried to see it at a multiplex last weekend (!)

Excerpts From the Spanish Diary
By WOODY ALLEN

JAN. 2

Received offer to write and direct film in Barcelona. Must be cautious. Spain is sunny, and I freckle. Money not great either, but agent did manage to get me a 10th of 1 percent of anything the picture does over $400 million after break even.

Have no idea for Barcelona unless the story of the two Hackensack Jews who start a mail-order embalming firm could be switched.

MARCH 5

Met with Javier Bardem and Penélope Cruz. She’s ravishing and more sexual than I had imagined. During interview my pants caught fire. Bardem is one of those brooding geniuses who clearly will need a firm hand from me.

APRIL 2

Offered role to Scarlett Johansson. Said before she could accept, script must be approved by her agent, then by her mother, with whom she’s close. Following that it must be approved by her agent’s mother. In middle of negotiation she changed agents — then changed mothers. She’s gifted but can be a handful.

JUNE 1

Arrived Barcelona. Accommodations first class. Hotel has been promised half star next year provided they install running water.

JUNE 5

Shooting got off to a shaky start. Rebecca Hall, though young and in her first major role, is a bit more temperamental than I thought and had me barred from the set. I explained the director must be present to direct the film. Try as I may, I could not convince her and had to disguise as man delivering lunch to sneak back on the set.

JUNE 15

Work finally under way. Shot a torrid love scene today between Scarlett and Javier. If this were a scant few years ago, I would have played Javier’s part. When I mentioned that to Scarlett, she said, “Uh-huh,” with an enigmatic intonation. Scarlett came late to the set. I lectured her rather sternly, explaining I do not tolerate tardiness from my cast. She listened respectfully, although as I spoke I thought I noticed her turning up her iPod.

JUNE 20

Barcelona is a marvelous city. Crowds turn out in the streets to watch us work. Mercifully they realize I’ve no time to give autographs, and so they ask only the cast members. Later I handed out some 8-by-10 photos of myself shaking hands with Spiro Agnew and offered to sign them, but by then the crowd had dispersed.

JUNE 26

Filmed at La Sagrada Familia, Gaudi’s masterpiece. Was thinking I have much in common with the great Spanish architect. We both defy convention, he with his breathtaking designs and me by wearing a lobster bib in the shower.

JUNE 30

Dailies are looking good, and while Javier’s idea to add a massive Martian invasion scene complete with a thousand costumed extras and elaborate flying saucers is not a very good one, I will shoot it to make him happy and cut it in the editing room.

JULY 3

Scarlett came to me today with one of those questions actors ask, “What’s my motivation?” I shot back, “Your salary.” She said fine but that she needed a lot more motivation to continue. About triple. Otherwise she threatened to walk. I called her bluff and walked first. Then she walked. Now we were rather far apart and had to yell to be heard. Then she threatened to hop. I hopped too, and soon we were at an impasse. At the impasse I ran into friends, and we all drank, and of course I got stuck with the check.

JULY 15

Once again I had to help Javier with the lovemaking scenes. The sequence requires him to grab Penélope Cruz, tear off her clothes and ravish her in the bedroom. Oscar winner that he is, the man still needs me to show him how to play passion. I grabbed Penélope and with one motion tore her clothes off. As fate would have it she had not yet changed into costume, so it was her own expensive dress I mutilated. Undaunted I flung her down before the fireplace and dove on top of her. Minx that she is, she rolled away a split second before I landed causing me to fracture certain key teeth on the tile floor. Fine day’s work, and I should be able to eat solids by August.

JULY 30

Dailies looking rather brilliant. Probably too early to start planning Academy campaign. Still, a few notes for an acceptance speech might just save me some time later.

AUG. 3

I suppose it comes with the territory. As director one is part teacher, part shrink, part father figure, guru. Is it any wonder then that as the weeks have passed, Scarlett and Penélope have both developed crushes on me? The fragile female heart. I notice poor Javier looking on enviously as the actresses bed me with their eyes, but I’ve explained to the boy that unbridled feminine desire for a cinema icon, particularly one who wears a sneer of cold command, is to be expected. Meanwhile when I approach the set each morning bathed and freshly scented, between Scarlett and Penélope there is a virtual feeding frenzy. I never like mixing business with pleasure, but I may have to slake the lust of each one in turn to get the film completed. Perhaps I can give Penélope Wednesdays and Fridays, satisfying Scarlett Tuesdays and Thursdays. Like alternate-side parking. That would leave Monday free for Rebecca, whom I stopped just in time from tattooing my name on her thigh. I’ll have a drink with the ladies in the cast after filming and set some ground rules. Maybe the old system of ration coupons could work.

AUG. 10

Directed Javier in emotional scene today. Had to give him line readings. As long as he imitates me he’s fine. The minute he tries his own acting choices he’s lost. Then he weeps and wonders how he’ll survive when I’m no longer his director. I explained politely but firmly that he must do the best he can without me and to try to remember the tips I’ve given him. I know he was cheered because when I left his trailer, he and his friends were howling with laughter.

AUG. 20

Made love with Scarlett and Penélope simultaneously in an effort to keep them happy. Ménage gave me great idea for the climax of the movie. Rebecca kept pounding on the door, and I finally let her in, but those Spanish beds are too small to handle four, and when she joined, I kept getting bounced to the floor.

AUG. 25

End production today. Wrap party as usual a little sad. Slow danced with Scarlett. Broke her toe. Not my fault. When she dipped me back, I stepped on it.

Penélope and Javier anxious to work with me again. Said if I ever come up with another screenplay to try and find them. Goodbye drink with Rebecca. Sentimental moment. Everyone in cast and crew chipped in and bought me a ballpoint pen. Have decided to call film “Vicky Cristina Barcelona.” Studio heads have seen all the dailies. Apparently they love every frame, and there is talk of opening it at a leper colony. It’s lonely at the top.

Copyright 2008 The New York Times Company

funnier than the movie?

Vicky Cristina Custos?

I rather liked this.

funnier than the movie?

All true apparently. Apart from chipping the tooth, that was cover for some cosmetic work he had done.

The movie is not hilariously funny, but I don't think it's really supposed to be. I've always liked him least when he's trying to be hilariously funny, even in parts of Sleeper and Bananas.

I like the WoodyALeln films with that nervous fella in them

oh right, so this is what you were talking about eric

I've always liked him least when he's trying to be hilariously funny, even in parts of Sleeper and Bananas.

Aside from Crimes and Misdemeanors, my favorite Woody Allens are the ones where he is, in fact, trying to be funny. Bananas, Love and Death, Bullets Over Broadway, Annie Hall.

And amateurist otm.

I can deal with the Annie Hall level of funny, just not a big fan of his outrageous schtick/slapstick comedy.

this is Penelope Cruz movie, not Woody Allen's. and for that it is great

Yes.

man i hate reading amateurist-at-the-movies normally, wtf @ hating batman AND pineapple express, but hes totally otm here. this was some garbage and the main characters were such boring people.

i dont mean this in a pervy way at all but if yr gonna have a romance-in-europe sexual tryst film how about filming some actually-hot romantic scenes?? shit was dry. and talk about a bunch of reductive charicatures. i mean maybe thats the point cuz its lol lighthearted fun but i couldnt have cared less about them

altho, penelope cruz looked way hot

this film probably isnt serious enough to be worth getting actually aggy about, it didnt make me mad watching it or anything but it was just kinda zzz

Late Woody Allen in general seems to not be serious enough to get aggravated about whether you like it or not.

Yeah, I mostly just find it hard to care at all about his movies these days.

Fiddlesticks. For the first time in 103 years, Allen's created three characters I wouldn't mind fucking. Progress!

For the first time in 103 years, Allen's created cast three characters actors I wouldn't mind fucking.

You're frisky tonight!

And you're drunk tonight.

No difference!

I almost tried something called a Beergarita tonight at the fair, but couldn't bring myself to have a sweet beer concoction.

or to pronounce "Beergarita" aloud.

The beergarita was a recommendation from the guy I went to VBC with, actually, so not completely off topic.

Rebecca Hall is way hotter than Scarlett Johanssen in this movie.

um, why did people like this movie exactly?

all dirty old men at heart

diary totally funnier than the movie.

I couldn't tell if this movie was supposed to even be a comedy - it was paced like one and had this sorta breezy/gauzy tone but um there were no jokes. And that narration! What was the point of that? If this was supposed to be some heavy meditation on the nature of love it was totally lacking in any actual drama or intensity. deej otm very zzzzzz

It's a "light romp."

except that nothing even remotely funny happened

guys stay on topic, this thread is about beergaritas

I'm sure this has been mentioned upthread, but I'm amazed that I can't see Woody Allen's name anywhere on the posters for this in London. I mean, I'm sure he's in the small-type tall-skinny credits list at the bottom but they're really downplaying that this is a Woody Allen movie! Never thought I'd see the day...

Rebecca Hall is way hotter than Scarlett Johanssen in this movie.

― Hurting 2, Sunday, August 31, 2008 2:47 PM (4 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

rebecca hall is all-time ws.

this movie was annoying at times but boring overall.
and indeed rebecca hall is hotter than SJ in it (penelope cruz too but her character was so annoying it drowned her hotness).

I am hesitating at renting it cuz the last time I believed ppl's praise for Altecocker Woody, I got Match Point.

This one is shorter, and for once Academy buzz is right about a performance.

Yeah, Michael Shannon's.

as i'm sure i've said on other threads, i liked Match Point, it felt like a Patricia Highsmith story.

Match Point was great but Woody's batting average in the 00s is pretty uhhhh

Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008) - not bad exactly, but boring
Cassandra's Dream (2007) - didn't see it
Scoop (2006) - this was bad
Match Point (2005) - GREAT!
Melinda and Melinda (2004) - interesting concept that went nowhere
Anything Else (2003) - fucking excruciatingly bad
Hollywood Ending (2002) - didn't see it
The Curse of the Jade Scorpion (2001) - very enjoyable
Small Time Crooks (2000) - okayish

this was pretty much unbearable to me and I'm a big woody allen fan. I could barely keep my eyes open, it felt like it was four hours long and it was only 90 minutes. cassandra's dream was a much more interesting story, as was match point. and at least scoop was actually funny.

is scarjo just as bad in this as she is in everything else?

She's the most beautiful woman in the world!

That's why she shouldn't be in this picture.

slightly less bad imo xxpost

everyone sounds absurd in this film spouting woody's dialogue.

penelope cruz saved this movie for me

scarjo wasn't that bad, surprisingly. she has a knack for playing pretentious artistic american airheads.

i hated match point but im looking forward to this anyway. just cos ill watch pretty much anything with PC in it (and i think she gets to speak in spanish rather than english here which i prefer) and woody usually has a few moments that remind me why i like his films, even when theyre a bit shit.

saw this last night, and really enjoyed it. it has its faults, it doesn't even graze the heights of previous greatness, and i wasn't sure about the narration... but i enjoyed the nuances of the relationships, that it was never entirely predictable. the cast were very good, and once Penelope Cruz appeared the movie seriously kicked up a gear - she was great.

also, rebecca hall, rowr.

loved the diary above.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008) - slight w/ some terrible acting
Cassandra's Dream (2007) - awful
Scoop (2006) - okay, few funny bits
Match Point (2005) - Best thing he's done this decade? Still not a patch on a good thriller.
Melinda and Melinda (2004) - meh
Anything Else (2003) - awful, but not as bad as Cassandra's Dream
Hollywood Ending (2002) - was this the one where he goes blind?
The Curse of the Jade Scorpion (2001) - or is this one?
Small Time Crooks (2000) - this is the cookie one, right? I liked it. Best thing he's done this decade?

i liked this movie. i dug how it was this light airy romcom feeling movie where everyone ended up completely unhappy

http://videogum.com/archives/trailer/well-the-whatever-works-traile_068472.html

theoretical physicists interested in this one: http://www.math.columbia.edu/~woit/wordpress/?p=1948

It felt like a Whit Stillman movie minus Chris Eigeman.

looks at least marginally funny

This movie would've improved like 1000 times had they just removed the completely retarded, most duh ever narrator!

Or if they hadn't bother with the Rebecca Hall character at all.

Still it was probably his best movie since 2005.

Would've been better to replace the screenplay with Woody's diary about making the movie

ahem, there is no Nobel Prize for Quantum Mechanics

Alex, I have no idea what you mean by "the cookie one" btw lolz

Curse of the Jade Scorpion is a total Bob Hope/slapdash comedy thing where Woody's "hypnotized" into falling in love with a woman he hates - I thought it worked really well actually, its central conceit (Woody snapping in and out of being hypnotized) was funny

For the first time in a long time I think it would've made sense for Allen to cast himself as the physics prof.

"Alex, I have no idea what you mean by "the cookie one" btw lolz"

Wasn't that the one where they tried to rob the bank but instead got rich from their famous cookie recipe?

Or if they hadn't bother with the Rebecca Hall character at all.

Favorite part of the movie. Love herrrrr

Wasn't that the one where they tried to rob the bank but instead got rich from their famous cookie recipe?

that's Small Time Crooks I guess (totally forgot the cookie recipe thing) - was nice to see Tracy Ullman in it, but my main memory is that for some reason everyone in the movie wears thin, near-transparent clothing. its odd.

I like cookies so that part stuck with me. Also Elaine May is great in that one as Ullman's dumb sister IIRC.

what other cookie-themed movies have you enjoyed

http://www.imdb.com/keyword/cookie/

The Stuff

Technically a marshmallow alien movie, but there is a cookie subplot with a Famous Amos type character.

i didn't like this one. then again, i am much less fond of woody allen's "yappy yuppies w/ fucked-up lives" joints than his more straightforward comedy films.

this rocked!

penelope cruz was LIGHTS OUT! i had no idea she was so good!! i agree about the narrator, though. what a drip.

it is a little weird how woody allen only writes about very wealthy people. i guess he'd say "so did chekhov!" and he'd have a point but still, at least chekhov's rich people were actually supposed to be rich. bardem's "bohemian" artist lived in an enormous fucking house, his dad who refuses to publish his poetry lives in an enormous fucking house and i won't even ask where vicky and cristina get the money to swan around europe for two months because they're staying with this obviously loaded couple. one benefit is that you get some very satisfyingly dead-on logistical beatdowns of rich dinner convo. allen is the kind of guy i'd be a little wary of accepting a dinner invitation from cause you know anything stupid you say is going to end up in one of his movies.

cruz was so good i actually cried within 30 seconds of her being on screen.

lol

she was just good in Volver, imho

i didn't mind the narrator drip

*just AS good

i should see that. i mean dayum.

spent this whole movie craving wine

also i thought that was kate beckinsale until just now

this movie sucked

why do i remember this being praised?

bardem, cruz, and hall were good and barcelona looks beautiful but otherwise zzzzzz

bcz it had hot mamas in it

marcos otm. Alfred loves this movie for some reason

i watched this again recently, not as good as i remembered but its ok