"Spray-On Condoms: Still A Hard Sell"

(yes there's another thread about this from the first time it was reported but I don't care about looking for it)

Thee Deutsch Spray-On Condom

lol at the obvious headline boner reference.

Hence his idea for a spray-on condom. The prototype, which began testing last year, consists of a hard plastic tube with nozzles that spray liquid latex from all directions, much like the water jets in the tunnel of a car wash. According to Krause, there are numerous advantages to his spray-on condom. "The condom fits 100% perfectly, so the safety is much higher than a standard condom's, and it feels more natural."

It took me a sec to realize that he wasn't describing a fountain of latex.

Being fitted would be more arousing than the sex, surely.

In The Bell Jar, when Esther Greenwood goes to get a fitting, she ends up hemorrhaging blood from her giner and has to go to the ER. This was a different kind of fitting, though. The book, however, is really unclear about what a 'fitting' was. A fitting for what? Not to mention Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret and she buys pads and they come with some kind of crazy elastic belt? These are the books that prepared young ladies for sex? At ages 11 (Blume) and 14 (Plath) they simply made me horrified and confused...puberty & sex in my mind were like something out of 'Dead Ringers.' How is it that books from only 30-40 years ago are so completely outdated already about ob-gyn matters? Guys?

Also would not spray-on condom get in your peehole? And wouldn't that hurt? And what is the actual name for a guy's peehole? I only know a really racist name for it, besides peehole, which I basically had to make up. Is it "urethral meatus," like it is for a woman? That name is so fucking metal.

(ps for the curious: Esther was getting fitted for a diaphragm, and a bell jar is neither a bell nor a jar.)

urethral franklin

Is it "urethral meatus," like it is for a woman?

indeed, "external urethral meatus" is what you call that there.

"I felt a little like MacGyver," he says of building the contraption.

I lolled really hard at this, mostly because I referred to myself as "the MacGyver of sex" earlier today (during sex, no less (I don't really remember why))

Such sex sounds volatile at best, and swoonworthy perhaps only to Patty & Selma.

He had sex using only a fork, some aluminium foil and a car battery.

See that sounds like Patrick Bateman shit right there.

For a moment I was confusing Patrick and Jason Bateman, and was all "What?"

hahahahaha

hahaha me too!
xpost

Hold on, if this thing gives me a 100% perfect fit around the end of my cock, what happens when I jizz? does it just go back up me? or does it blow a bubble? What if I'm inside a lady when this bubble gets blown? What if the bubble is then too big for me to get it out again??

yah waht of the reservoir tip

?

Is there an industrial strength variety to replace the butt condom?

Oh there's a sentence.

Has anyone here tried vaginal condoms? What are their plusses/minuses compared to regular penile ones? (Except for the fact that they're more expensive.)

supposedly they make some funny noises

"Ahooooga, oooohga, oooohga"?

Bizarrely my brane computed that as The Lex asking about vaginal condoms.

I think it would be much better to invent a sort of liquid condom that you could just dip it into. A *fondum*, if you will.