What's the best song title in this list of "worst country song titles"?

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed

Some of these are actually pretty good!

Poll Results

OptionVotes
* You're the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly 3
* Timber, I'm Falling in Love 2
* Love Will Beat Your Brains Out 2
* I Don't Know Whether to Kill Myself or Go Bowling 2
* She Got the Gold Mine (I Got the Shaft) 2
* You Done Stomped on My Heart (and Smashed That Sucker Flat) 1
* If You Don't Believe I Love You Just Ask My Wife 1
* Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head) 1
* Walk Out Backwards Slowly So I'll Think You're Walking In 1
* The Next Time You Throw That Fryin' Pan, My Face Ain't Gonna Be There1
* I've Got You on My Conscience But At Least You're Off My Back 1
* What's a Fool Like Me Doing In a Love Like This 1
* I've Been Roped and Throwed by Jesus in the Holy Ghost Corral 1
* Bridge Washed Out, I Can't Swim and My Baby's on the Other Side 1
* If the Phone Doesn't Ring It's Me 1
* This Time I'm Gonna Beat You to the Truck 1
* You Stuck My Heart In a Old Tin Can and Shot It Off a Log 1
* The Last Word In Lonesome Is "me" 1
* He's Been Drunk Since His Wife's Gone Punk 1
* Thank God and Greyhound She's Gone 1
* I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart 1
* We Used to Just Kiss on the Lips But Now It's All Over 0
* I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You 0
* I Bought the Boots That Just Walked Out On Me 0
* She Even Woke Me Up to Say Goodbye 0
* If You Keep Checking Up on Me (I'm Checking Out on You) 0
* It Don't Hurt Half as Bad as Holding You Feels Good 0
* Ever Since I Said "I Do," There's a Lot of Things You Don't 0
* She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart 0
* When We Get Back To the Farm (That's When We Really Go To Town) 0
* Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart 0
* I'm Gettin' Gray From Being Blue 0
* She Feels Like A New Man Tonight 0
* If Fingerprints Showed Up On Skin, Wonder Whose I'd Find On You 0
* Heaven's Just A Sin Away 0
* I Knew I'd Lean (But I Never Thought I'd Fall) 0
* How Can a Whiskey Six Years Old Whip a Man That's 32? 0
* Does My Ring Hurt Your Finger (When You Go Out at Night) 0
* I'd Rather have a Bottle in Front of Me Than a Frontal Lobotomy 0
* It Ain't Love but It Ain't Bad 0
* Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart 0
* Your Negligee Has Turned to Flannel Nightgowns 0
* The Pint of No Return 0
* Sleeping Single in a Double Bed 0
* I Got Tears in My Ears From Lying on My Back Crying on My Pillow Over You 0
* I Think I'll Drink Myself Into the Past 0
* You Can Tell the Man Who Boozes (By the Company He Chooses) 0
* Don't Let That Doorknob Hit You (on the Way Out) 0
* You're Out Doing What I'm Here Doing Without 0
* You Blacked My Blue Eyes Once Too Often 0
* I've Got a Funny Feeling (I Won't Be Feeling Funny Very Long) 0
* The Worst You Ever Gave Me Was the Best I Ever Had 0
* My Legs Won't Walk Away From You 0
* I'd Be Better Off in a Pine Box 0
* Hell Stays Open All Night 0
* If You Can Live With It (I Can Live Without It) 0
* Somebody Shoot Out the Jukebox 0
* Let Me Love the Leavin' from Your Mind 0
* I Forgot How Bad My Good Woman Could Be 0
* You're the First Time I Thought About Leaving 0


Tuomas, Sunday, 17 August 2008 10:04 (seventeen years ago)

Isn't that the tracklisting for Fall Out Boy's new album?

AlanSmithee, Sunday, 17 August 2008 10:27 (seventeen years ago)

"She Got The Gold Mine (I Got The Shaft)" is funny, but "I Don't Know Whether to Kill Myself or Go Bowling" wins it for me.

snoball, Sunday, 17 August 2008 10:36 (seventeen years ago)

I can imagine it sounding like the Stones' song "Let It Bleed"...

snoball, Sunday, 17 August 2008 10:38 (seventeen years ago)

Where is "She's Acting Single (I'm Drinking Double)"?

Pleasant Plains, Sunday, 17 August 2008 14:44 (seventeen years ago)

I skimmed this, but these grabbed my attention: "I Got Tears in My Ears From Lying on My Back Crying on My Pillow Over You", "This Time I'm Gonna Beat You to the Truck", "How Can a Whiskey Six Years Old Whip a Man That's 32?".

I THINK I know what "Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart" means...I think...

There are (and I fully realize what's going on here with my own sn ;) a lotta great examples here of country musicians groping to be clever. Depending who you ask, a charming or really-not-so-charming element of country... No names attached to the titles??

RabiesAngentleman, Sunday, 17 August 2008 14:47 (seventeen years ago)

"Timber, I'm falling in love", sounds like it's probably a really good song.

jel --, Sunday, 17 August 2008 15:33 (seventeen years ago)

and haha, on youtube, someone has put this song to clips from the L Word.

jel --, Sunday, 17 August 2008 15:35 (seventeen years ago)

oh my god

so many of these are completely incredible!

bernard snowy, Sunday, 17 August 2008 15:45 (seventeen years ago)

on my last radio show, I played a song off this new Trikont compilation of black country singers called "Pardon Me (I've Got Someone to Kill)". can't remember who sang it, but it was exactly as amazing as the title makes it sound.

bernard snowy, Sunday, 17 August 2008 15:47 (seventeen years ago)

Andre Williams?

The original:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qj0FwhPDALc

jel --, Sunday, 17 August 2008 15:55 (seventeen years ago)

This gun will buy back the pride they took from me
And also end this life of mine, that's worthless now

!

Ned Trifle II, Sunday, 17 August 2008 16:01 (seventeen years ago)

xpost: yeah, that name sounds right. didn't realize it was a cover. I think I like Williams's version better, though; he sings it much more like a dude who's actually about to go kill the guy who stole his woman.

bernard snowy, Sunday, 17 August 2008 16:06 (seventeen years ago)

I would love a copy of 'Your Negligee Has Turned to Flannel Nightgowns' but I can only find references back to this list (in various forms). Is it really real?

Ned Trifle II, Sunday, 17 August 2008 16:10 (seventeen years ago)

At least some of these song titles are genuine, but for a few it's hard to find any information about who recorded them, if they really are real. Like with the negligee song, googling "I Don't Know Whether to Kill Myself or Go Bowling" only gets you different variations of this same list.

Tuomas, Sunday, 17 August 2008 16:33 (seventeen years ago)

Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)

lolololol

HI DERE, Sunday, 17 August 2008 16:37 (seventeen years ago)

xpost: what about this this article, apparently from 1979?

bernard snowy, Sunday, 17 August 2008 16:40 (seventeen years ago)

looks like it was written by some dude named Thom Sharp:

In Detroit, Mr. Sharp worked at D.W. Doner advertising agency in the 1970s with Cathy Guisewite, before she created the “Cathy” cartoon strip.

He headed to Los Angeles in 1977 to become a stand-up comic. He appeared several times on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show, doing monologues or original songs like “I Don't Know Whether to Kill Myself or Go Bowling.”

bernard snowy, Sunday, 17 August 2008 16:44 (seventeen years ago)

"Since His Penis Came Between Us"

nataschakristin, Sunday, 17 August 2008 16:45 (seventeen years ago)

"WORST country song titles"????

Mr. Snrub, Sunday, 17 August 2008 16:50 (seventeen years ago)

goldmine/shaft regularly played on our locla radio station. which i don't listen to.

darraghmac, Sunday, 17 August 2008 17:29 (seventeen years ago)

I CAN'T MAKE MY FACE INTO A (teflon) HEART

Abbott, Sunday, 17 August 2008 17:41 (seventeen years ago)

"Pardon Me (I've Got Someone to Kill" is an old Johnny Paycheck song, I think.

Hubie Brown, Sunday, 17 August 2008 17:56 (seventeen years ago)

I vote "If You Don't Believe I Love You, Go Ask My Wife" and "Sleeping Single in a Double Bed" (a song I remember from early ’80s country radio while riding in the car with my mom) as best legit song titles.

Hubie Brown, Sunday, 17 August 2008 17:58 (seventeen years ago)

I like "The Last Word in Lonesome is 'me.'" It's SO TRUE, and something about the 'me' in lower case...awwwww & hahahaha.

Abbott, Sunday, 17 August 2008 17:58 (seventeen years ago)

* Does My Ring Hurt Your Finger (When You Go Out at Night)
* How Can a Whiskey Six Years Old Whip a Man That's 32?

my favorite one-two punch

bernard snowy, Sunday, 17 August 2008 18:01 (seventeen years ago)

"Heaven's Just a Sin Away" is a great song.

clotpoll, Sunday, 17 August 2008 18:02 (seventeen years ago)

it's more fun if you imagine all of these songs being written from the perspective of the same person (or two people, I guess, since some of them are obviously gender-specific) at various points in his/her life.

bernard snowy, Sunday, 17 August 2008 18:03 (seventeen years ago)

And what's "She Even Woke Me Up to Say Goodbye" doing on here?

clotpoll, Sunday, 17 August 2008 18:03 (seventeen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

ILX System, Wednesday, 20 August 2008 23:01 (seventeen years ago)

smawsometitlesere.

Mark G, Thursday, 21 August 2008 08:39 (seventeen years ago)

What about 'You are The Reason (Our Kids Are So Ugly)?

Fred Nerk, Thursday, 21 August 2008 09:02 (seventeen years ago)

It's included in in the list.

Tuomas, Thursday, 21 August 2008 09:42 (seventeen years ago)

What about "Drop kick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life" and "Did I shave my legs for this?"...

AndyTheScot, Thursday, 21 August 2008 11:24 (seventeen years ago)

I Bought the Boots That Just Walked Out On Me

Presumably this is a big bitter "give me my fucking money back bitch" rant?

Matt DC, Thursday, 21 August 2008 11:37 (seventeen years ago)

But actually 'If You Don't Believe I Love You Just Ask My Wife' is best. Route one.

Matt DC, Thursday, 21 August 2008 11:38 (seventeen years ago)

What about "Drop kick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life"

This can't be real?!

Tuomas, Thursday, 21 August 2008 12:25 (seventeen years ago)

Oh yes, that's a famous one

Tom D., Thursday, 21 August 2008 12:50 (seventeen years ago)

My Dad used to sing "Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life" when I was a kid. Can't remember who did it.

Hubie Brown, Thursday, 21 August 2008 12:53 (seventeen years ago)

Is Jesus dropkicking you through the goalposts of life supposed to be a pleasant experience? Because it doesn't sound like it is. I'd much rather pogo-stick through the goalposts of life on my own kinetic energy.

Tuomas, Thursday, 21 August 2008 12:57 (seventeen years ago)

You need Jesus in your life

Tom D., Thursday, 21 August 2008 13:05 (seventeen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

ILX System, Thursday, 21 August 2008 23:01 (seventeen years ago)

I can imagine it sounding like the Stones' song "Let It Bleed"...

-- snoball, Sunday, August 17, 2008 10:38 AM (4 days ago) Bookmark Link

Where is "She's Acting Single (I'm Drinking Double)"?

-- Pleasant Plains, Sunday, August 17, 2008 2:44 PM (4 days ago) Bookmark Link

that song is a stone cold classic off a stone cold classic of an album. gary stewart rules.

M@tt He1ges0n, Thursday, 21 August 2008 23:08 (seventeen years ago)

I was just listening to the song "The Future's No What It Used To Be" by Mickey Newbury on the way home last nite. Which seems teehee funny at first until but it's really a Zen truth bomb like a motherfucker. Sad fucking song.

M@tt He1ges0n, Thursday, 21 August 2008 23:12 (seventeen years ago)

she got the goldmine (i got the shaft) is good too, i think johnny paycheck wrote that...he did it too, on an album that had a song called "barstool mountain", that was crewcial as hell.

M@tt He1ges0n, Thursday, 21 August 2008 23:13 (seventeen years ago)

Haha, I missed this thread. I have definitely heard "Sleeping Single In A Double Bed" before, but that's a rubbish title compared to some of these. It always amazes me that Rich Hall has made a career out of parodying this shit when it more or less parodies itself.

ailsa, Thursday, 21 August 2008 23:27 (seventeen years ago)

* Ever Since I Said "I Do," There's a Lot of Things You Don't

Saddened not more love for the lamenting of withheld sexual favours.

ailsa, Thursday, 21 August 2008 23:29 (seventeen years ago)

LOL every one of these

CaptainLorax, Friday, 22 August 2008 01:02 (seventeen years ago)

Andy OTM. and "Dropkick me Jesus[...]" is by Bobby Bare.

BigLurks, Friday, 22 August 2008 02:16 (seventeen years ago)

I Got Tears in My Ears From Lying on My Back Crying on My Pillow Over You

lol

Curt1s Stephens, Friday, 22 August 2008 02:23 (seventeen years ago)


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.