HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029

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HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029

Poll Results

OptionVotes
High School in United States. 4
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica . No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered2
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs. 1
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only. 1
Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.1
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth 1
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. 0
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. 0
Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only ope0
Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches. 0
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered 0
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent. 0
Abortion clinics now available in every 0
Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba. 0
85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss. 0
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all s0
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe le0
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage. 0
Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped. 0
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock. 0
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language. 0
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia,formerly kno0


and what, Monday, 1 September 2008 16:00 (sixteen years ago)

no caliphate, no credibility

DG, Monday, 1 September 2008 16:04 (sixteen years ago)

cannot decide between

Abortion clinics now available in every

and

High School in United States.

Alan, Monday, 1 September 2008 16:05 (sixteen years ago)

Prime Minister Jagger stable after corn dog bio-cod cheek pizza-topping-induced mutation

blueski, Monday, 1 September 2008 16:06 (sixteen years ago)

where is "Grand Moff Chelsea takes office"?

Dr Morbius, Tuesday, 2 September 2008 13:34 (sixteen years ago)

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

goole, Tuesday, 2 September 2008 13:55 (sixteen years ago)

would kick it in a jamaica-ruled france, btw

goole, Tuesday, 2 September 2008 13:56 (sixteen years ago)

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

this one is sort of incongruous old-fashioned misogyny among all the standard persecution-complex conservative bullshit

max, Tuesday, 2 September 2008 13:58 (sixteen years ago)

its like henny youngman showed up at a right-wing radio conference

max, Tuesday, 2 September 2008 13:59 (sixteen years ago)

Wanted to do a Private Eye 'Scenes You Seldom See' poll but they don't seem to be on the internet in any number, for some reason

DJ Mencap, Tuesday, 2 September 2008 14:01 (sixteen years ago)

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

^^^this ones a creeper

ice crӕm, Tuesday, 2 September 2008 14:05 (sixteen years ago)

High School in United States.

The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Tuesday, 2 September 2008 14:06 (sixteen years ago)

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

wat

wanko ergo sum, Tuesday, 2 September 2008 14:08 (sixteen years ago)

The one I saw had...

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon).

...which didn't fit at all.

Ned Trifle II, Tuesday, 2 September 2008 14:09 (sixteen years ago)

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

wait is this cos of a three mile island thing or because we nuked them or waaaaht

no consistency

goole, Tuesday, 2 September 2008 14:15 (sixteen years ago)

i guess we probably nuked them and while we were distracted mexico took over california

max, Tuesday, 2 September 2008 14:16 (sixteen years ago)

It was because you were all so fat you couldn't defend yourselves, and of course you had all your guns taken off.

Ned Trifle II, Tuesday, 2 September 2008 14:23 (sixteen years ago)

...taken off YOU.

Ned Trifle II, Tuesday, 2 September 2008 14:23 (sixteen years ago)

Or something.

Ned Trifle II, Tuesday, 2 September 2008 14:24 (sixteen years ago)

Man I am glad the people of Floruba will finally get to vote, even if they're all "ME A STATUE. HOW DO I RODE VOTING!?"

Abbott, Tuesday, 2 September 2008 15:33 (sixteen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Tuesday, 9 September 2008 23:01 (sixteen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Wednesday, 10 September 2008 23:01 (sixteen years ago)

;_; Floruba ;_;

Abbott, Wednesday, 10 September 2008 23:45 (sixteen years ago)


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