Is it valid to want to be a man but to love being a woman at the same time.

i have often wished to have a penis when i REALLY REALLY need a wee and there's no loo, but apart from that never. sorry about the flip answer to a really interesting and detailed question Toraneko, but i have a really bad headache and cannot think...

this = me (except the other way round) (i extremely reluctantly acknowledge)

i suspect it is more common than it seems, either way round: but not on evidence others would consider evidence

the only sense i can think it might not be valid is that it might make you unhappy: if not, then cool

Kate needs a MILLY

See I'm thinking that it may well be the latter - when women "cross over" it's to obtain the social normativities that enshrine masculine power, and when men go over to being women, it's ebcause thier masculinities aren't accepted by conventional society so therefore they change..what intrigues me, and I think Germaine Greer probably said it, is how do these people know what it is to be/feel/think like a woman, when women born women don't know what that it, and also and alternatlively the same would apply to men.

"Valid" doesn't enter into it. However you feel is valid.

I do know one transsexual, and it's not that he wants to be a woman, as much as that he feels that he IS a woman, and his body is wrong. I don't really get that, because I feel as if I'd be equally comfortable in a female body, without feeling unfitted to my male one or having any desire to change. I can't imagine how I would know that I was 'really' a woman - I only know I'm really a man because of the anatomy.

martin is right re valid, i rekkin.

i think it would be awful confusing. oh wait it IS awful confusing. so often i am stuck - playing on the dubious feminine "power", or rejecting it altogether. my heart wants to transcend this gender crap but my head knows it isn't possible. hmmm, i don't think i physically want to be a man anyway... its more that at times i wish i were more masculine - but yes, because of what it signifies in our society. (and i add the obligatory - but thats only my experience of things).

A man I know had a sex change to become a woman - not because he'd always felt he was a woman trapped in a woman's body but because he loved women so much that he wanted to become one. He had found that just being WITH them wasn't quite enough. He came to this conclusion in his 50s after having a few wives/defactos and three daughters.

I can understand where he's coming from. I had always assumed that when guys wanked over porn they were getting off on the idea of being the woman rather than the idea of being with the woman. I've mentioned this idea to a few guys and some of them deny it being true. I like women so much that I'd just assumed that everyone else wanted to be one too.

"I had always assumed that when guys wanked over porn they were getting off on the idea of being the woman rather than the idea of being with the woman." I agree with this: this is central to the utopian dimension of porn. Though I doubt it's a TOTALLY unmixed motive, let alone clear in every wanker's head.

This fantasising being the woman: it's something I've done and do occasionally (maybe 1% of the time), but it's a quite distinct, deliberate mode for me, and not any part of how I usually get off on porn. I don't find it terribly satisfying to think in those terms because it detaches me a further step, it makes it more difficult to easily imagine the sensations and feelings.

see that intirgues me - is porn an active thing ie do you fanticise as being a participant, or is it more a spectator thing, the voyeurship, the telling of the tlae, the ongoingness of it - is that what's esciting...and I mean yeah, when you think about it, heterosexuality is a weird thing because you're supposed to desire the opposite and be attracted to the opposite, but the consumation of that is in the consuming of the opposite, the devouring of the difference...

how do you do it?

For me porn is definitly about voyeurism. If I fantasise it's about voyeuring the same thing in real-life rather than in magazine.

Bosko Balaban Stats For Season

Name Bosko Balaban
Team Aston Villa
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