Things Americans are Good At

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Prompted by another thread, during which I decided that Americans really are not all that skilled at conversation (yes, I include myself here) -- which is okay because our culture has dedicated itself to the development of plenty of other skills. The first one to come to mind is driving. What else?

― Nitsuh, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"Foreign" perspectives clearly valuable here, although probably not snarky politicized answers like "imperialism" or "arrogance" (even if true).

― Nitsuh, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yeah, I really am bad at making conversation. There's lot of staring at feet and such. But! Things Americans are good at.. ... having babies... going to Old Navy... buying diesel-fueled trucks. Okay, so I am being unfair.

― Mandee, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The first one to come to mind is driving.

Jesus Christ, no wonder we're all fucked.

More seriously -- we're excellent at nuclear devestation and ingrained prejudice. This has generally not been seen as positive.

And more positively -- it's a good question but I think our highlights are best thought of in terms of defeating certain expectations/fears projected onto us thanks to the imperial America currently coming into being. That means more of an individual, thoughtful bent than most might credit the country collectively for.

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Funk. James Brown and George Clinton surely represent the global pinnacle of rhythm.

― steven, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Global pinnacle of funk, maybe: i think the "rhythm" judgment's a bit TOO sweeping (y'know, Rio, Cuba, Jamaica, Africa...)

(As a Brit, Nitsuh, I would have to argue tha so far the US do imperialism EVEN WORSE than we did...)

― mark s, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

why is driving a skill americans have developed?

― fran, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

a) cause otherwise what would we do with all these cars??
b) cause unlike European countries, we can't walk across ours in one day

― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

TV. One of the few things that makes me even more glad to be alive than Star Time or Funkentelchy Vs. the Placebo Syndrome is watching old episodes of Columbo. You may all think that's a silly comment, but it's sincere.

― steven, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

BUFFY! no one is good at buffy as america!!

― mark s, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

we have japanese monster wrestling!! even the japanese don't have that yet!! (though kaiju is going over there soon to spread the gospel!)

― geeta, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ironic comedy. For all that Britain mocks America for its supposed lack of irony, there's never been any greater irony-filled comedies than Cheers and the Larry Sanders Show.

― steven, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Having a dream! And eating a lot.

― Ally C, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Jazz, the blues, and hip-hop.

Should we regard these great forms of popular culture as American, or as a response by the disenfranchised to 'America'?

― steven, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yes.

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Vigilance.

― bnw, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Materialism, cultural illiteracy, and breakfast.

― Kris, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Indoor plumbing. Tourist attractions. Mail delivery.

― Douglas, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Actually, I'm remembering the line from the beginning of Neal Stephenson's "Snow Crash": "There are only four things we do better than anyone else: music, movies, microcode (software), and high-speed pizza delivery."

For those of you who haven't read it, the last of these is the point of the first and funniest chapter of the book.

― Douglas, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Americans dont make music nor movies better than anyone, no way. There is meat on the american breakfast(like real meat, not burguers or sausages)?

― Chupa-Cabras, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Burgers.

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Until recently, I'd have said we were best at bitching about our fellow man, in terms of various religions turning into cliques against others (though what with this current backlash against those of Arab descent, I'd say we've still a way to go).

Really though, we're best at pretending we actally _know_ what we're doing when dealing with other countries. (This war we're in is a huge flashing light.)

― Nichole Graham, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Barbeque-ing (?)

This American is not good at spelling/grammar(comma usage).

Since there has been some anti-American feelings on this board I won't feel quite as bad for saying we are much better at dental hygiene. Good god even the Queen had fugly teeth.

― Lindsey B, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yes but they were clean in themselves. Brown and crooked = not dirty, but the natural normal propah sexy state of teeth

― a royalist, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Surely the Aussies are the monarchs of the BBQ?

― RickyT, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Blocking the stairways in tube stations (see I heart American Tourists thread) oh and also WEARING BAGGY SHORTS! Any UK person wearing baggy cut off shorts = FULE but Rob Crow doing it = hoorah!

― Sarah, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Anything Rob Crow does = cool, apart from the wearing of thongs and the growing of big bushy beards.

― RickyT, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

(Lindsey: barbecuing)

― michael, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Attitude.

― Tom, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

They're quite good at TV. The West Wing is a particularly good wet dream for a liberal. Sopranos is also good for vicarious gangstoh pleasures to be had by nice English boys. They're also *very* good at funding the State of Israel. Bit of politics, ladies and gentleman, yes indeed...

― Nathan Barley, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

When I was in Germany last month I wondered whether in general Americans can't do chic but European's can't do cool.

― Tom, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

But what about those Europeans who are neither chic nor cool but macho? Can Americans do pull macho off in the same way that (southern) Europeans can?

― Sam, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ignore 'do' in last sentence.

― Sam, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Tad: American hamburgers = generally no good, IMHO.
Good: American microwave waffles.

― Mitch Lastnamewithheld, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Americans are great at making bagels and playing basketball. American women are very good at playing tennis (see: Jennifer Capriati, Venus Williams, Monica Seles, Lindsey Davenport, Serena Williams, all of whom are in the top ten).

― Dan Perry, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

obesity

― ernest, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Superheroes.

― Andrew L, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

America is good at being big (well, even if Canada is bigger na na na!). I still have that romantic ideal of a rugged landscape with lotsa natural resources, the wildness/newness of a country...even if it probably only still exists in Utah or Alaska, but anyways. Surely the road-trip is perfected in America? Did you know that over 80 percent of Canada's beans are exported to Britain? Wowza!

― Evangeline, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

for Lindsey: in descending order of acceptance:

Barbecue
Barbeque
BBQ
— B Q (ranch style!)

(p.s. just got hand-me-down bi-level Weber gas grill; within minutes of thorough cleaning yesterday we had burgers on the table. note: smoked mashed potatoes do not taste good)

― Tracer hand, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

even if it probably only still exists in Utah or Alaska, but anyways.

nope. take a road trip sometime across this fair land (as i did last yr) and you will realize that the vast majority of the US is WILD NOTHINGNESS. montana & wyoming are especially cool. much of arizona/arkansas/colorado/idaho/indiana/iowa/kansas/ kentucky/maine/minnesota/nebraska/north-south dakotas/ oklahoma/ohio/oregon/vermont/west virginia/wisconsin is STILL EMPTY (uh huh i still know the 50 states in alphabetical order yeah!)

and most of nevada looks like tatooine.

― geeta, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

even if Canada is bigger na na na!

We view most of Canada down here as a great source for the ice in our whiskey-and-sodas.

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

No way, I use Canadian whiskey; it's always so cheap.

― Kris, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

After sampling American culture, ie watching Jerry Springer, Ricky Lake, Jenny Jones and that weird troll woman Sally Jessy Raphael. I have concluded a few things about what makes america great:

1. the ability to move ones head in a side to side manner (much like a snake) whilst calling your best friend a 'dirty ho' for sleeping 'wit my man'.

2. the ability to not recognise a man in a dress, even after 6 months of dating.

3. fat kids bring fame and fortune for their parents.

4. STEVE STEVE STEVE STEVE STEVE STEVE!

5. the ability to share their most intimate details of their sex life with about a million people, instead of just saying to the person in question "this aint working out"

However before you start beating me down for 'disrespecting'the americans i have to add that america also brought us:

1. the simpsons/futurama 2. seinfeld 3. family guy

And of course the best thing about america?

They single handedly defeated the Nazi's in WW2. Cheers america, without you i would be speaking german!!!!

;)

― Lee, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I feel somewhat honor-bound to point out that Germans are pretty good at Springer-esque behavior as well.

― Dan Perry, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Loads and loads of stuff - the arts in general. Most of the best movies ever are American. Many of the best books of the 20th Century. Most of the best music. Much of the best TV (if also much of the worst), much of the best painting post-WWII. Vast outpourings of creative energy, dominating the cultural zeitgeist of the last Century, for better and worse. Given that art in general is my substitute for religion, this means I really like the US - until I start to think of its politics and the vast number of stupid, arrogant white men (see the new Michael Moore book).

― Martin Skidmore, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

the vast number of stupid, arrogant white men

Sounds like the American arts to me.

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

More like the Oxford Eng. dictionary meaning of "beloved" American politics, actually...

― Nichole Graham, Tuesday, 9 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Being American.

― Kim, Tuesday, 9 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

really weird shows of patriotism. "oh no, a bunch of people got killed! let's go buy sweaters with flags on them!"

― Maria, Tuesday, 9 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

one month passes...

Yes Springer, but Springer is owned by the French... (Vivendi Universal a former water utility company - I guess from sewers, Springer would be the logical next step, non?)

― MadPanic, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Kickin' Ass

― J Blount, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

They are good at functional and economic design

― anthony, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You Better Believe It!

― J Blount, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Selling stuff.

― Colin Meeder, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Americans are not good at driving. You are confusing quantity with quality (or possibly making a triumph of substance over style). You all driving fucking automatics and the top speed limit is what, 60 mph? And... cruise control.

― N., Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

also: warp drive!!

― mark s, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I DO NOT DRIVE A FUCKING AUTOMATIC. PREPARE TO DUEL, KNAVE!

― Sir Daniel of Perry, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

All kinds of things make America grate.

― BJ, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

For example: cheese.

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Does America have any proper cheese varieties of its own? I am genuinely interested. NOTHING IN A CAN IS ALLOWED.

― N., Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

head cheese and string cheese

― mark s, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

cheezwiz is from dunedin

― mark s, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Cheese is one thing that makes Americans grate. Cinnamon is another.

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Cinnamon cheese was a drastic failure, though.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Sez you. Nummy cinnacheddar MMM.

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I thought you only got bad processed cheese, Kraft and Velveeta and things?

Americans are good at being sincere without blushing/ knee-jerk cynical jokes.

― Anna, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

We do have plenty of excellent proper cheeses around, but there's a fair amount of goop, yes.

Dan is speaking perversities. He'll be singing the praises of pepper chocolate cheese next.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

MmmmmMMMM! Nothing's better than a lovely buttercream gorgonzola puff pastry!

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I feel sick

― Anna, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Please note Nick that we are good at driving not in terms of actual navigation of our cars: I mean we are good at driving, which means the whole spectrum from windows-down cruising to plowing trucks through shallow rivers to all the other elements of our car culture -- we're talking about a country here where the cute old cliche is to lose one's virginity in the back seat of a car. Do you have low-riders and hydraulics in the UK? Do you have a massive stretch of your nation filled with small towns where the defining social event for high-school students is to drive aimlessly around for hours eating fast food and honking at one another? Do you have drive-ins anywhere near as lovely as Sonic? How exciting do you think a road- trip to Glasgow would be?

Okay, okay, I got a little carried away there, but we do have a serious car culture that would be pretty charming if not for the whole resource-depletion aspect of it.

― nabisco%%, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Thongs.

― Sterling Clover, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Backoff.

― Sisqo, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Sterling, you should specify "thongs on women" as otherwise the Mediterranean nations will get defensive.

― nabisco%%, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Not to mention Brazil.

― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I've seen "Brazil" about 10 times and I don't remember any thongs.

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

It's on the Criterion Collection DVD. DeNiro.

― J Blount, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

J Blount you are a BAD MAN.

― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I meet more goodlooking men in the Northeastern US than I did in Britain. cf Brad Pitt versus Hugh Mamby Pamby Grant. But anyway, I feel affronted at the idea that Americans are not good at conversation because all of my good friends are extremely literate and easily make conversation with anyone. Granted, ten or fifteen people are not exactly a snapshot of Americana, but still. I can't imagine we're all loner freaks up here.

We're also excellent at stupid laws.

― Ally, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

American Men look they will fuck you, Englsih men look like they will seduce you.

― anthony, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The idea of Hugh Grant being seductive worries me greatly. And what of Brett Anderson???!

― Ally, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

one year passes...

I'm bored, so I'm going to revive some old threads.

Does America have any proper cheese varieties of its own?

Liederkranz, but it's no longer produced.

― Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Friday, 5 September 2003 01:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I like how half of the thread is all about highlighting positives and the other half is all about the usual "never say anything positive about America lest you be turned into a horrid troll-type figure".

Having said that, America IS good at immigration. We are, after all, a nation of immigrants. No one would be in America were it not for the conscious decisions of many peoples to come on over to this New World and settle. Other things we're good at: providing inexpensive & satisfying ways of filling your stomach, being unpretentious, being every kind of human being you can possibly think of, being genuine, winning prizes of almost all sorts, exporting our pop culture around the world, and actually being supportive of people who want to better their stations in life.

The music thing, though. Hmmm. Most of the music I own/listen to seems to come from the UK. Maybe it's because of what I love to listen to most, but it seems as though for me, the UK's where it's at for music.

― Just Deanna (Dee the Lurker), Friday, 5 September 2003 02:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, but it's all a poor copy of US and Jamaican stuff.
*runs*

― oops (Oops), Friday, 5 September 2003 02:56 (twenty-two years ago)

If not for America where would we get our meatshake?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 5 September 2003 02:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, but it's all a poor copy of US and Jamaican stuff.

And then you get US bands poorly copying UK bands poorly copying US and Jamaican stuff (see: new Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, possibly the worst album I've heard this year).

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Friday, 5 September 2003 03:18 (twenty-two years ago)

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