Fifteen Songs That Are Thoroughly Wretched

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Feel the hate:

5 for Fighting, "Superman (It Ain't Easy)"

Julie Andrews and Carol Burnett, "Live at Lincoln Center Medley" ("Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band"/"With A Little Help From My Friends"/"The Beat Goes On"/"I Dig Rock & Roll Music"/"Everybody's Talkin'"/"Sing a Simple Song"/"Gentle on my Mind"/"Wichita Lineman"/"Little Green Apples"/"Honey"/"Both Sides Now"/"If"/"Up Up and Away"/"Do You Know the Way to San Jose"/"Leaving on a Jet Plane"/"By the Time I Get to Phoenix"/"Downtown"/"Feelin' Groovy"/"Sunny"/"Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head"/"You've Made Me So Very Happy"/"The Boy From Ipanema"/"This Girl's In Love With You"/"Georgy Girl"/"Hello Dolly"/"Theme from Sesame Street"/"Moon River"/"Eleanor Rigby"/"People"/"What the World Needs Now"/"Come Together"/"Hand in the Hand"/"Let it Be"/"And When I Die"/"We Shall Overcome"/"Aquarius"/"Son of a Preacher Man"/"What Kind of Fool Am I?"/"I'll Never Fall In Love Again"/"Alfie"/"What Now My Love"/"Goin' Out of My Head"/"Born Free"/"Strangers in the Night"/"Love Story"/"It Must Be Him"/"A Spoonful of Sugar"/"Spinning Wheel"/"Is That All There Is?")

Pete Seeger, "There Was A Lady who Swallowed A Lie"

Malvina Reynolds, "Little Boxes"

PowerSource, "Dear Mr. Jesus"

The Statler Brothers, "Do You Remember These"

Think, "Once You Understand"

Voices That Care, "Voices That Care"

The Jacksons, "State of Shock"

Bob Carlisle, "Butterfly Kisses"

Baz Luhrmann, "Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)"

2NU, "Ponderous"

Elmo and Patsy, "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer"

Tom T. Hall, "I Love"

Cowboy Church Sunday School, "Open Up Your Heart (And Let The Sunshine In)"

― Michael Daddino, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

There is no such thing as a merely good novelty song. They allow no fineness of distinction. Either they rock or they rot.

― Michael Daddino, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

How much of each is in No.2? I'm currently imagining it's much like Intro Inspection, but that can't be right.

― Graham, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

HOLY SHIT that 2nd one! the medley! is vicious! yow!

now mike take all 15 of those songs and make the UBER- MEDLEY!!! i think i'm gonna be sick etc.

― geeta, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

pah! the sesame street theme is one of the best songs in the world.
i am also fond of "little green apples"

― elizabeth anne marjorie, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

uhhh...."little green apples" isn't a novelty song, is it???!!

― elizabeth anne marjorie, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

How much of each is in No.2? I'm currently imagining it's much like Intro Inspection, but that can't be right.

It's a few lines from many many songs, bizarre segues, manic- depressive shifts in emotional tone, "jazzy" arrangements. Think of the Sweeney Sisters skits on Saturday Night Live. And the Bill Murray lounge-singer dude. And Bobbi & Marty Culp. And Kiki & Herb (only they're not on SNL and they're funny.)

It's late-capitalist blipvert culture -- only with negative hep factor.

― Michael Daddino, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

elizabeth: nononono. I'm damning the Andrews/Burnett medley, not the individual original songs used in the medley.

― Michael Daddino, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

the only record I can think of that I own because it is so terrible is the Greg Mack Compilation: What Does It All Mean?. Featuring hits by all the greats: Romeo and Rhyme, The Throw Down Twins, Nyce Twyn Clan, Hazze, MC Trouble, and of course everyone's favorites, The Outlaw Posse (Bud from Married with Children's rap group!!)

All this stuff is horrid but Greg Mack's own contribution is humorously awful. I don't think I'll be able to do it justice, you've got to hear this song.

― Ron, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I just downloaded it. I'll take your word on the other songs.

― Graham, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ok graham, you're quick! to make it easier for everyone else I recorded it off the record and put it here

― Ron, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

(I meant Mike's original question)

― Graham, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

aah. I was going to express amazement that anyone had ever bothered to proliferate this song on the net before...

― Ron, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

That 5 for fighting song "Superman" song is also my most hated song at the moment. What's with that "It's not easy to be me" line?? It just epitomises everything I can't stand about alot of people at the moment - self pitying crap. Get over yourself I say.

― Penny Lane, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The Carpenter Bert Bacarah medley is also rotten. They manage to do each track in the wrong tone, often in the wrong tune...

― Pete, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'd like for someone to listen to that Greg Mack song and share a laugh with me!!

― Ron, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"And When I Die"/"We Shall Overcome"/"Aquarius"/"Son of a Preacher Man"

Oh my.

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh yeah. Coming offa "Let It Be" and its hyped-up piano part, Carol sings each line of the chorus of "And When I Die," with Julie filing in each silence with "We Shall Overcome", then Carol comes in with "Aquarius" about three times slower and lower than the original, only to speed up again for "Preacher Man." THIS was considered REAL CLAHSS TV the year I was born, '71 -- it was nominated for a whole lotta Emmies.

They did yet another medley in '89 that plays catch-up on the post- '71 music scene. It went a little something like this:

"Sing a Simple Song"/"You've Got A Friend"/"Gonna Fly Now (Theme from Rocky)"/"I Am Woman"/"One"/"How Lucky Can You Get?"/"New York, New York"/"How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?"/"Without You"/"I Am, I Said"/"Feelings"/"Memories"/"Star Wars: Main Title Theme"/"A Fifth of Beethoven"/"Stayin' Alive"/"I'm So Excited"/"Bad"/"The Living Years"/"That's What Friends Are For"/"Sing A Simple Song (First Reprise)"/"Don't Worry Be Happy"/"Sing A Simple Song (Second Reprise)"

The "disco" section (yes, that's Michael Jackson's "Bad") is particularly worthy, but it's perhaps not quite as insane if only because (I bet) they couldn't quite as many copyrights this time 'round. Both the '71 and '89 medleys are available on your file- sharing program of choice.

Oh, another thing: according to the IMDB (you have to look through the awards section to find this), two of the main writers of the '71 show also worked on the infamous Stars Wars Christmas Special. WOW.

― Michael Daddino, Tuesday, 9 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

one year passes...

Daddino, you find "State of Shock" "wretched"??
*Sob.*

― Thomas Inskeep (submeat), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 01:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Wait, I changed my mind, sort of.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 01:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Everybody in the whole wide world must hear the Burnett/Andrews medleys, though.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 01:45 (twenty-one years ago)

My personal wretched hall of fame:
1. Dan Hill "Sometimes When We Touch"
2. every Madonna song, once you realize there is no substance whatsoever aside from a pounding disco beat, excluding "Beautiful Dreamer"
3. every song extolling pimps, bitches, and hos
4. The entire FSA catalog
5. Pink Floyd "The Wall"
6. The Who "Who Are You?"
7. Pete Townshend "You Better You Better You Bet"
8. Styx - entire catalog
9. ELO - entire catalog
10. Jimmy Buffet "Margaritaville"
11. Eric Clapton "Cocaine"
12. The Church - that stupid fucking "I wish you knew what you were looking for" song. Fuck off you useless penisless twat! (er sorry Marty & Steve, nothing personal, please don't kill me next time i see you ;-))
13. Michael Jackson "Beat It"
14. Elton John "Your Song"
15. Matchbox 20 "I Will" or whatever it is called, Fucking wanker.

Ok, I got it *all* out, These are my most wretched, never wanna hear em again ever songs...

― Orbit (Orbit), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 04:50 (twenty-one years ago)

my problem with doing this list thing is that most of the songs that i consider "wretched" are also the ones that i like. i mean, i drove all night by celine dion is fucking terrible, but i love it.

― todd swiss (eliti), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 05:56 (twenty-one years ago)

2. every Madonna song, once you realize there is no substance whatsoever aside from a pounding disco beat, excluding "Beautiful Dreamer"
3. every song extolling pimps, bitches, and hos
6. The Who "Who Are You?"
9. ELO - entire catalog
13. Michael Jackson "Beat It"

You did pay close attention to the original thread-starting top ten and carefully analyzed the relative merits of your "wretched" songs versus, say, "Dear Mr. Jesus", right? Because uh I can sort of vaguely understand not liking "Mr. Blue Sky" or "Big Pimpin'" but in the face of "Butterfly Kisses"... well, no.

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 06:11 (twenty-one years ago)

mr. blue sky has no right to be disliked

― todd swiss (eliti), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 06:12 (twenty-one years ago)

haha I like the first hook in "Superman". Does FSA = Flying Saucer Attack?

― sundar subramanian (sundar), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 06:56 (twenty-one years ago)

FSA=Flying Saucer Attack

― Orbit (Orbit), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 06:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Good Lord.

― sundar subramanian (sundar), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 06:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Is something wrong on the freeway?

― Orbit (Orbit), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 06:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not even a big fan or anything but all of your choices that I've heard, aside from Dan Hill, just seem so far removed from being "thoroughly wretched" or even "below average" that I don't even understand where you're coming from. Maybe if you actually explained what makes "Beat It" or "Cocaine" or the entire catalogue of FSA thoroughly wretched (as in, you'd take nearly any other pop song over "Beat It"), I could start to follow.

(Admittedly, the only song I've heard on the original list is "Superman", which I don't mind.)

― sundar subramanian (sundar), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 07:07 (twenty-one years ago)

er, that's MY list. Post YOUR list.

― Orbit (Orbit), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 07:10 (twenty-one years ago)

it's weird, but i can't even think of fifteen songs i dislike!

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 07:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Those Andrews/Burnett medleys sound fantastic.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 07:31 (twenty-one years ago)

They do. But not to give them a grammy for it.

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 09:29 (twenty-one years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.