oh cupid, won't you send an arrow and skewer our chest cavities together some time when we are talking?

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what's worse, fancying someone who doesn't fancy you or not fancying anyone at all? my sister's in a pickle.

nickie, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

some may despair at the stoopidity of this question but i don't care because i'm genuinely interested in what people think.

and i like dawsons creek, too.

nickie, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Fancying someone who doesn't fancy you is WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY worse. Well..........depending on the person. Personally speaking I was never bothered by not fancying anyone at all generally, for 18 or so years. The same is not true of the other scenario. I mean not fancying anyone isn't upsetting, it's not my fault if I don't at a given time.

Ronan, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Being fancied by someone you don't fancy.

Pete, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Fancying someone who doesn't fancy you can be great though if you channel the resulting frustrations into doing something productive or creative (apart from the obvious, hur hur). Not fancying anyone is still probably better, but it depends on the causes - pickiness? disgust with humanity? horror because of bad past experiences? Any of those could spell greater grief in the long-term.

Fancying everyone is bad too!

(Except celebrities obv.)

Tom, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I thought you said fancying celebrities was sad Tom?

Anna, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

being fancied by someone you don't fancy

Yes it's like getting a gift voucher for a CD at Christmas and then finding out the shop only stocks the Corrs or something.....

Having said that does it happen anyone often enough to be majorly irritating?

Ronan, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah sorry my message got mangled. I was saying fancying everyone was bad, and then suggesting that I fancied everyone except celebrities, (which isn't true either really).

Tom, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

fancying someone who doesnt fancy you is just rubbish. not fancying anyone is fine, a much healthier state of affairs.

gareth, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Fancying someone who doesn't fancy you can be great though if you channel the resulting frustrations into doing something productive or creative (apart from the obvious, hur hur).

Curse you for heading off my obvious joke, Tom Ewing.

Dan Perry, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't fancy anyone right now. Have you seen the state of the men in London? It is dire. Me & my girlie chums are not impressed at all.

No offence, like.

Emma, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Not fancying anyone = boredom and emotional atrophy; reduced to watching Hollyoaks. Fancying someone who doesn't fancy you = thrilling agonies of unrequited love; raised to level of Dante etc.

Archel, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Thrilling agonies of unrequited love in my experience = self loathing and wailing to myself and wondering why am I so hideously ugly / lardy / evil that person X doesn't fancy me. You can keep it mate.

Emma, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah that's on the money and personally speaking I still end up watching Hollyoaks anyway.....

Ronan, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

RAH I am with Emma on this except the same thing still happens when I don't fancy anyone and actually in fact when I AM dating someone as it happens AND I am starting to really LIKE Hollyoaks again so THERE Archel nur. I did howevah think of some slebz who I fancy: they are are PIPPING, urr... damn there was some more but I can't remember them now. Brain dead from calling estate agents. Not fancying anyone at all suits my mediocre brane.

Sarah, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Fancying hobbit slebs isn't sad (just like negative numbers square into positives).

Tom, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Have called thousands of estate agents. Fancy anyone who is not estate agent. This includes CHEESE.

Sarah, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

but isn't life just void of joy when there's no eye candy to feast on? i get awful depressed when i don't have at least a casual fancy on someone.

work has become impossibly tedious since my office crush departed. so much so that i've tried to develop crushes on other fellers in the office but have failed. i cannot force my love into square pegs.

obviously, unrequited fancy is an infuriating thing but at least it gives you something to stare out the window longingly at on a long, working day?

nickie, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"i cannot force my love into square pegs"

in retrospect, this doesn't make sense. however, the round hole option would indicate a descent into sodomy and/or lesbianism, when i'm only looking for an innocent distraction to get me through 40 hours of my week.

nickie, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I find that thinking about clothes, makeup, shopping & food is a far better way of passing the time than thinking about crappy boys.

Emma, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Emma is so wise.

rosemary, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Me too...

Ronan, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh well.....poor timing really nailed that joke to the crucifix.

Ronan, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

but that's because you work in the hub of the city and can go out and shop for clothes and make-up and food during the day. i cannot. therefore, i am left pining for clothes/make-up/shoes (too painful) and boys (thrilling diversion).

nickie, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I would be thinking about clothes & makeup & food if I were working in the middle of the Antarctic. Mmmm, new handbag...

Emma, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I just had an e-mail from old boyfriend saying he might be moving to the Antartic for three years.

Anna, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Man - that's cold.

Pete, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ah yes I remember someone telling me with great bathos that they should be working in Russia by this time this year. Howevah... HAH!

Sarah, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

jesus christ why......WHY?

Ronan, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

that was a response to Pete by the way

Ronan, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i'm not surprised. the rare fashions of the polar regions would make a girl the talk of london town.

nickie, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

It's some marine biology research post. He informs me he'll be spending most of the three years underwater.

Anna, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

and that was a response to emma.

nickie, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The only girl they get in polar regions is the one from the Orange ad who looks a bit rough, is wearing a wholly unsuitable pair of pajamas and has probably got frost bite. Night Night x indeed.

Pete, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i am thinking of the sexy saucepot eskimo ladies in Atanarjuat the Fastest Runner. even though they are Inuit and not strictly polar.

nickie, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

not exactly gorgeous by western standards (mine) but saucy enough to melt an igloo when it comes to la hunk Atanarjuat.

nickie, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

as if inuit!!

mark s, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

(ok i was test driving that joke for someone else)

mark s, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"It's funny how the girls you fall in love with never fancy you, it's funny how the ones that you don't do"

NAME THE BAND!

I'm fed up with fancying girls who don't fancy me! Being fancy free is nice.

jel --, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I knew someone was going to mention that bloody song.

Tom, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

My friend has the album!

jel --, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I've constantly had crushes on various GURLS since age sherbet, but I don't think I ever expected to actually date any of them, so it was always just something wonderful to dream of.

Of course the problem now is that the gurl I like I'm only interested in as being an actual real-life actual not-imagined girlfriend and am thus feeling like Emma re: thrilling agonies of unrequited love (except she is gorgeous (for a fogey), whereas me = ____).

Graham, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I used to believe that if someone finds out another person fancies them, usually they will return the feelings just out of flattery. I know that in the past if I found out a particular boy thought I was great, I would suddenly have a huge crush on him. However, I experimented with this, and found that this IS NOT ALWAYS TRUE (aka I liked someone, or something, showed my feelings and wuz rejected) and of course, it'd help if I were attractive.

Mandee, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I started accentuating the negative aspects of my crushes looks and personality a while ago, it really works. I still fancy her but it got me through the hardest parts of it. Don't listen to people who talk about the healthy way to do things, I also ensured I didn't socialise in her circles for about 6 weeks. This was easy. And it helped alot. I feel embarassed that I was so petty, but there's a right way to do things and an easier wrong way.

Ronan, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ronan that's brilliant.

Tracer hand, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

pah it just proved ronan nevah had a crush at all: otherwise he would have gone "negative apects i dweamy-heart them EVEN MORE!!"

mark s, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, Ronan should go and join N in Heartless Anonymous. He's never been in love.

As was saying on IRC: "You're ugly. How adorable!"

Graham, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Bah! Not fancying anyone at all is boring. If it wasn't for unrequited love we would have no ART. "...and years later when I held numerous girls in my arms, they wanted to know 'will you remember me?' and the only one I remember is the one who never asked" SNIFFLE

Evangeline, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

My crushes tend to dissolve the more I get to know the person. I am much more picky then I have any right to be.

bnw, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Fancying people is better. Especially in springtime when it seems worthwhile, as opposed to cold dead late fall when I mostly want to hibernate and eat hearty soups. Anyway I fancy all manner of inaccessible and/or uninterested boys. Beginning to think I crave the punishment. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?

Pyth, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'd so much rather have no longings than unrequited longings, because I spent so long last year wanting someone who completely ignored me...who sat across from me at the office. At the drop of a hat I could have told you all sorts of unpleasant things about this guy, and still I yearned.

BTW, God Hanley, this guy never did get his genitals caught in the CDR drive of his computer, the way you promised.

j.lu, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

sometimes unrequited longing can be fun. makes for good wank fantasies. not fancying anyone is also good, it leads to creativity in my case. i can't decide which is better.

di, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

All old boyfriends should be sent to Antarctica.

All my crushes/whatever have been unrequited. But revealing that you fancy someone is awful, it only leads to trauma.

rosemary, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I agree with Rosemary - ex boyfriends should certainly be sent to Antarctica

I think not fancying anyone is worse. Especially when it's because your last 'significant other' seems to have put you off for life. That's where I am right now and it just makes life boring. At least fancying someone who doesn't fancy you means you've got someone to perve at and you can have good gossip sessions with your friends about it.

Penny Lane, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I think it is impossible not to fancy anyone. Or is that just a male thing?

Ally C, Thursday, 11 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

No, I have a male friend who has gone through the "I don't fancy anyone" stage. Well... that's what he says anyway.

Penny Lane, Thursday, 11 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

He is lying.

Ally C, Thursday, 11 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)


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