I value your opinions so here it goes...

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If you slept with someone that you didn't know that well... and later you realised that it was their first time... well you know. Would you wish for them to have told you? Would you feel guilty for just taking for granted that they were into this whole casual sex thing? Would you feel obligated to make a go of having a relationship then?

― nic, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

yes, sorta but depending on the situation, no.

― ethan, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

No such obligation, unless you deceived the person into sex with such promises - and this has nothing to do with how many times they had had sex. That taking it for granted bit risks upset at any time - and again, nothing to do with, etc. I don't think it's happened to me (far as I know), so it's hard to comment. I have been part of a first threesome for a few people, but that's not at all the same kind of thing...

― Martin Skidmore, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

They may well have not told you it was their first time, so you wouldn't feel awkward about "breaking the seal" as it were.

Do they WANT a relationship with you?

Don't have one out of guilt; it'll be hell for you both.

― Lala, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

1. Not if it didn't turn out to be a problem 2. No, but depends on the situation 3. If as you say you didn't know them that well, then no.

You don't really say how they feel about what happenned, but it's probably best to just be honest about the whole thing, including that you're worried about them and whether you did the right thing, just be reassuring I suppose.

― Graham, Tuesday, 9 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yo, just date her for a little bit, see what's up.....first off, you know you popped that shit, so she's clean, right?.....haha, my man, at least you know she's not a "conwoman, parasite/ lick a nigga ass in valet parking / just to get a puff daddy ticket / these corny bitches livin' wicked!"

― Ramosi, Tuesday, 9 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Well cheers for the advice everyone, appreciated. I guess my objective style of writing didn't explain that I actually was the first timer in the situation. The situation is all past historic from before Christmas last year and all that but I saw the guy in question out over the weekend and i just got to thinking about what might have been...

― nicola, Tuesday, 9 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The question that occurs to me is this: How many people would give different advice to the person who was the first-timer in this situation as opposed to the "old pro"? Because I realized I was thinking one thing when viewing it from the viewpoint of the more experienced person, but my viewpoint shifted somewhat when considering it from the less experienced viewpoint, plus my assumptions about the feelings involved shifted dramatically.

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 9 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

True, and seeing from the answers here that's exactly what I got, I guess i was pretty confident in the view of the first timer in the situation as that was well, me. So I got exactly the response i wanted - the flip side of the situation. I s'pose people in general tell you what would reassure you as they put themselves in your shoes it's kinda harder to consider a question from both sides of the fence at first go. Cheers anyways Dan, how very courteous of you to refrain from any lewd commentary.

― nicola, Tuesday, 9 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

That's because Dan is a good man, he is. I really didn't have any deep thoughts on the matter and couldn't contribute more than platitudes, so I refrained either way (and still will).

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 9 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

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