The Most Disappointing Cereal Ever

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"Chocolate pillows" => such a good name for a cereal!!! but OH NO they are vile!!

have you bought a breakfast cereal BASED ON LOOKS ALONE?! were you punished or were you rewarded?

the times i was rewarded for being a sap: "Crispy hexagons" = truth in advertising! it was crispy! it was hexagonal! it was cheap! also "Circus parade"! all marshmallows no cereal haha! but but but "Atlantis: the cereal" (found at market basket for 99 cents): they told me there were secret messages!!! WHERE WERE THEY?!?!

― geeta, Monday, 15 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

apparently "runes were inscribed on the chocolate flavored cereal pieces" but this was a LIE!

new answerz!

― geeta, Monday, 15 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Is there really a cereal called "Crispy Hexagons"??? This is too good to be true.

― Sean, Monday, 15 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

yes there is!!! it is godlike!!

― geeta, Monday, 15 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

http://theoriginalsoundtrack.com/crispyhex.jpg

i dunno who the dude in the photo is though - i just grabbed this from the internet -- i am too lazy to scan in my cereal boxes

― geeta, Monday, 15 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

http://www.theoriginalsoundtrack.com/art/ crispyhex.jpg

― geeta, Monday, 15 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I am amazed. Thank you.

― Sean, Monday, 15 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Lucky Charms. Incredibly inedible.

― Kim, Monday, 15 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Is the brand called FLAVORITE or is that my imagination? That is awesome as fuck.

― Ally, Monday, 15 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

the secret messages are to be found within the sugar buzz humming between yr ears

― Ron, Monday, 15 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I love the malt o meal bags o cereal...cheap and better than the originals. plus, only two characters to worry about

― mike hanle y, Monday, 15 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

popeyes wheat puffs..

― phil-two, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I was pretty disappointed by Count Chocula actually. Chocolate cereals just don't seem as amazing as they should.

― Alex in SF, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

SHUT UP ABOUT COUNT CHOCULA

― ethan, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

hey look! i'm the first of the brits!

chocolate cornflakes. really bad. they shouldn't be though, thats the worst of it. cornflakes. with chocolate on. you shouldn't get that wrong should you?

― gareth, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sporties, Golden Grahams, Honey Nut Loops...all kinda yucky!

― jel --, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

One of my friends was so disgusted with the lucky charms he bought that he separated out all the weird not-quite-marshmallow bits and sent them off to his friends in little packets marked 'Ruin Your Own Breakfast Cereal Kit'.

― RickyT, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Chocolate cereals just don't seem as amazing as they should.

This is so true. Coco Puffs is further proof.

― bnw, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have just remembered that Christiaan Lampinen (GOOGLE YOURSELF I DARE YOU) promised to send me Pokémon cereal. HE NEVAH DID. So I've never had Pokémon cereal. How it tastes is of course not an issue, in fact, I don't think I could bear to eat it. Best would be CHOCOLATE FROSTED SUGAR BOMBS!!!!

― Sarah, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

starry i can probably send you pokemon cereal! we are swimming in the stuff here! it is v. common in our local supermarket. one of my roommates buys it obsessively (and saves all the boxes, and hangs them on the wall in our kitchen!) if i am lucky i might even be able to find you a HOLOGRAM BOX!!

warning though: it does not taste very good! it is like lucky charmZor except with much more sugar and with pokemon marshmallows!

― geeta, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Wow Geeta that would roXoR, I can send you all kinds of English Delacacies (SPELLINK!?) in return, of course jellied eels will keep during the postal journey hem hem. Check all these TV endorsed cereals!!! It's from Googles cache so I hope it still works, but a search for chocolate frosted sugar bombs will turn it up anyway.

― Sarah, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I don't eat breakfast, the thought of putting something other than orange juice into me when I get up is not a pleasant one. Cereal is satans creation. I suppose a fry now and again is essential.

― Ronan, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Chips for breakfast = klassik! Chip butty for brekkie, even bettah. Yesterdays chickun shop chips left overnight so they're cold and icky? Not so great.

― Sarah, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

cornflakes on pizza for breakfast!! rock n roll!!

― geeta, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Crispy Sea - French cereal with sea shapes (fishes, starfish, seaweed) and vanilla flavoured. Described memorably by a friend as tasting "a bit like shit". Also The Dennis the Menace strawberry jam flavoured cereal was vile. Not so keen on the apple and blackberry Alpen I bought last week either.

― Jonnie, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Grape Nuts: contain neither grapes nor nuts. HUH?????

Weetos: these, you may remember, used to be known as Weeto's. Until my pathologically anal mother (gee, thanks for the genes) wrote to them to point out the redundant apostrophe. Of course in reality they were probably deluged with such letters, but I quite like to think that it was my mum - lone grammar crusader! - wot changed the nation's cereal boxes...

― Archel, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Weetos, apostrophe or not, is/are the best cereal evah, and not in the least disappointing.

― Alan Trewartha, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I bet if y'all tried Malt o Meal cocoa crispies you would see choco cereal can be good. I hate Honey comb.

― mike hanle y, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Lucky Charms is FANTASTIC provided you don't so anything foolish like putting milk on it. It's a cereal that's meant to be eaten as a dry snack. I wouldn't have survived college without it. Also, Grape Nuts is fantastic when microwaved for 45 seconds and covered with sugar, and I cannot fathom disliking Golden Grahams or Honeycomb.

Most breakfast cereals are very good once you discover the correct way to eat them. The only exception I can think of to this is Cheerios, but there's a childhood trauma tied in with my intense distrust of that cereal.

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I am still reeling from the discovery that there is a cereal called Crispy Hexagons. I can't get that name out of my head.

― Sean, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I look forward to the advent of Chewy Dodecahedrons and Slightly Squidgy Irregular Polygons.

― Archel, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Food wot tesselates = finest food known to man.

― Pete, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

L'Engle Crisps?

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

another possibility for penrose tiles?!

APERIODO'S! - With marshmallow kite shapes and crunchy dart shapes!

― Alan Trewartha, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Korn

― jel --, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You *don't* like Cheerios, Dan? BEGONE!

There was a severe Grape Nuts argument between friends at dinner on Friday, with Brian expounding on his love for the stuff and friend Andrea making severe fun of him. All agreed that Grape Nuts Flakes were of the devil.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Special K red, excellent idea, though making the cranberry pieces candied was the mark of a true wingnut, they should have been freeze dried and then would have been num, as it is, it's bleurgh.

― chris, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ned, if you'd ever accidentally eaten a live fly while eating Cheerios, you'd be wary of them, too. The taste of Cheerios is now forever linked in my mind with the sensation of biting into a crunchy, gooey, buzzing animal. Bleah, I'm getting queasy typing this.

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Crunchy Nut Red is a work of genius though. Yogurt coated flakes works!

― Jonnie, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Lucky Charms. Incredibly inedible.

You're fucking insane. Lucky Charms are the only reason to get up in the morning. Or they used to be--lately I've been getting into the bag-cereal knockoff kind, Marshmallow Safari. It's the shit.

― adam, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Marshmallow Safari is the best name for a cereal.

― Jonnie, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

if you'd ever accidentally eaten a live fly

This is how Graham should introduce himself to that young woman on the other thread.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Maybe it's just the thrill of cultural voyeurism, but when I've been in the US, I've always greatly enjoyed the Flintstones-themed Cocoa Pebbles. Best choc cereal I've had.

― Mitch Lastnamewithheld, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

My favorite part of visiting the Mall of America in saintpaul/minneapolis was the General Mills Amusement Park which had exhibits devoted to all our favorite sugary cereals. The neat thing was the shop outside had, in addition to the obvious GM cereals, FRANKENBERRY and BOO-BERRY which I hadn't seen in a proper store in a decade, having been phased out in favor of more Count Chocula product. I was happy that the cereal horror triad still exists somewhere.

― dave k, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I want me some of them aperiodos

― RickyT, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I looooove marshmallow cereal (they're too crispy to be like real marshmallows, mmm) and then ETHAN went and told me they're made out of ANIMAL BONES or something so I looked on the ingredients and yes it is from gelatin and so I now do not eat them. GRRRRRRR.

― Maria, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

when i saw these in the store i bought all of them. i was really excited. they = the worst cereal ever. no contest. http://www.emptybowl.com/images/logos/homer_simpson_cereal.jpg http://www.emptybowl.com/images/logos/bart_simpson_cereal.jpg

― chaki, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yo geetzaball.....old geetza.......wayne greetzky......that last one's stretching it.......but dont roll your eyes at me like an alligeeta.....haha......anyways, I've always been disappointed in oatmeal in general.

― Ramosi, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh shit, chaki coming through!......but I thought the homer ones were dope.....but it may have just been youth....you know how Sunny D is the grossest shit on earth but it was great the first time?

Yo geeta, I wasn't dissing....I just think your name is cool.

― Ramosi, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

MARSHMALLOW SAFARI!!!

i think yr name is cool too ramosi! but what's up with olafsonkid? is olafson your real name? is that icelandic or somethin? i am confused!

― geeta, Tuesday, 16 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Life. Too non-committal (Is it a "sweet" cereal? Is it a "serious" cereal?) and could not possibly live up to expectations engendered by Mikey endorsement, let alone name.

― felicity, Wednesday, 17 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ay Geeto......Ramosi is my real name.....I am a wop, goomba supreme.....the 'olafson' and 'skid' thing is an in-joke from way back......involves mexican food, human feces and someone I know getting knocked out.....and that's all I have to say about that muhlady!

― Ramosi, Wednesday, 17 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I had the Homer's Cinammon Donut cereal this morning. It's kind of shady.

My girlfriend pointed out that it's "kind of greasy." Cereal really should not be greasy. At all.

― adam, Wednesday, 17 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

NO TALKIN BAD BOUT LIFE

― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 17 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

In the 80's, the PAC-MAN cereal was terrible. Crispy Kix-like dots and marshmallow ghosts. Sort of like Lucky Charms, but way grosser. I also remember Powdered Donuts was gross, and the Willy Wonka Nerds cereal box was very innovative, with separate compartments for two flavors, but ugh, disgusting.

One of the surprisgly good ones was King Vitamin. The boxes were hilarious, a smiling king about to munch a spoonful. Mr. T cereal was decent too.

― bryan, Wednesday, 17 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

two months pass...

Crispy Hexagons are like so excellent I almost crapped my pants-- almost as excellent as Pat Sajak's mushy white butt.

― Funzo, Tuesday, 9 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

one year passes...

eeeek!!

― geeta, Wednesday, 12 November 2003 13:46 (twenty-two years ago)

The little cookie cereal, it's just so not what you want it to be.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 13:49 (twenty-two years ago)

cookie crisp you mean? yeah they don't really taste like cookies :(

new contender for this thread: bananabix

― geeta (geeta), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 13:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh my Tony's Cinnamon Crunchers are the best ever.

― Chris B. Sure (Chris V), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 13:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Frankenberry Crunch and Count Chocula were brought back for Halloween, and I couldn't believe how disappointing they both were. I don't know if the formula was changed or if I was just more easily impressed by sugary cereal when I was a kid.

― Nicolars (Nicole), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 13:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Frosted Wheat is complete and utter cardboard.

― Chris B. Sure (Chris V), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 13:52 (twenty-two years ago)

i heart geetabix

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 13:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah that's it geeta, it just doesn't taste like cookies. :-(

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 13:58 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.lavasurfer.com/cereal-ralston.html

a coworker sent me this site, freaking out about the cereal memories. My mom didn't let me have cereal.

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 15:18 (twenty-two years ago)

*gives teeny a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder*

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 15:19 (twenty-two years ago)

haha! I would be a worse food nazi than my mom if I had kids; I don't really care for cereal!

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 15:21 (twenty-two years ago)

*removes hand*

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 15:22 (twenty-two years ago)

shreddies w/ full cream milk, left to go soggy and covered in maple syrup is the best. shredded wheat is foul.

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 15:22 (twenty-two years ago)

cereal is good for kids tho - what did dhe make you eat?

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 15:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I was on that cereal site the other day and it's pretty good. The fact that Tony the Tiger has a family freaked me out a bit. I mean, would you want your Dad hanging out with the skate kids and saying "Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat" all the time?

― Jonnie, Wednesday, 12 November 2003 15:24 (twenty-two years ago)

"Start" was the worst cereal ever. My mum bought me a box of it when I was a kid. I ate it for 2 days then stopped - it was boring. It was one of my rare "pester power" moments which worked and my mother was left with most of a box of (as she pointed out acidly) a Very Expensive Cereal.

Do they still make it?

― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 15:26 (twenty-two years ago)

cereal is not good for kids, it's all processed flour and sugar, and it's so expensive! I had oatmeal with a bit of cream and honey usually, or sometimes yogurt and wheat germ. With toast and fruit of course. When I was older I had muesli that didn't have much sugar in it.

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 15:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Smorz!

― Sarah Pedal (call mr. lee), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 15:28 (twenty-two years ago)

yes, the fact that they put all that Nutrition Information on the side of the box should make us suspicious. Fortified With Vitamins & Iron - pah!

― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 15:29 (twenty-two years ago)

oatmeal is cereal!
but i take your point. i actually always preferred it to processed cereal as a kid, to be honest.

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 15:34 (twenty-two years ago)

OATMEAL - YOU, TOO, CAN HAVE THE BODY OF DAVE STELFOX
second thought, just eat as much crap as you like, it didn't do me a lot of good.

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 15:34 (twenty-two years ago)

In my rowdier days, I would often plan to have myself locked into stores or museums overnight so that I could indulge myself in the pleasures of capitalism without the constraints of the crowd. Once, I was "camping out," as they say, in a local establishment called Price Club, which specializes in selling items in bulk to the consumer, allowing them to save money by purchasing larger amounts of food or other consumables than they wouldn normally buy. I was having quite a time skating around on shopping carts, trying on half-price sweatshirts, drinking all of the Capri Sun that my little heart desired. I decided to go on a climbing expedition over the store's shelves. Unfortunately, one of the shelves was not properly installed, and it collapsed under my feet, causing me to plummet to the floor, followed closely by a 500-pound box of Rice Chex cereal, which landed on my leg, snapping it in two and pinning me in place. I didn't panic. I still had a large container of Capri Sun strapped to my belt buckle, so I knew I would receive the proper nutrients until the next day, when I would surely be rescued. I settled in for an uncomfortable sleep. However, I had forgotten that it was the beginning of a four-day weekend. To escape, I had to force myself to eat through the box of Rice Chex until it was light enough for me to lift from my leg, allowing me to drag myself to a telephone and notify the authorities I was inside. Unfortunately, the Rice Chex I had consumed (approximately 4/5ths of the massive box) expanded in my stomach, causing crippling stomach pains and indigestion. Since then, I have been unable to enjoy any cereal at all or properly kick a football, which squashed my life-long dream to become placekicker for the Oakland Raiders.

― Broken Record (brokenrecord), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 15:48 (twenty-two years ago)

eight years pass...

By 1861 Potter and some of his followers had left California with the intention of settling near Independence, Missouri, the traditional location of Zion for the Latter Day Saints. They settled at Saint Marys in northwest Mills County, Iowa. When Saint Marys was destroyed by flooding in 1865, they moved to Council Bluffs, Iowa. Potter spent his days wandering the streets in Council Bluffs wearing a long white robe and became a local oddity. Potter's followers in Council Bluffs were described as "few but devout". The men wore black robes and the women eschewed normal grooming practices. Potter and his followers held enthusiastic prayer meetings which would often culminate in Potter declaring a new revelation from God.
In 1872 Potter announced at a meeting of his church that the time had come for his ascent into heaven. Followed by his disciples, Potter rode a donkey to the edge of the bluffs, whereupon he leapt off the edge. Potter died in the attempt to ascend into heaven and his body was collected and buried by his followers

― Sweet Yin Yang ☯ (Latham Green), Friday, 24 August 2012 16:16 (thirteen years ago)

most disappointing ascent into heaven ever

― Sweet Yin Yang ☯ (Latham Green), Friday, 24 August 2012 16:16 (thirteen years ago)

Surprised at no mention of Fruity Yummy Mummy in this thread.

― cwkiii, Friday, 24 August 2012 16:30 (thirteen years ago)

I like Fruity Pebble slike a crack weak spirit of my inner pipe

― Sweet Yin Yang ☯ (Latham Green), Friday, 24 August 2012 18:17 (thirteen years ago)

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