Stuff Your Friends Have Done That Momentarily Made You Question Being Friends With Them Ongoing

So, what individual events have your friends performed that for a moment made you think they were not worthy to be friend material anymore?

This guy I'm friendly with (not close friends, but still consider him a friend) and a bunch of us were at a restaurant, and I got there late. The guy's son was there, and I was a bit hazy on his age, but I knew that about 5 years earlier, he had a fairly high pitched voice and had to have been about 16 now.

So I was, of course, puzzled to see him with an alcohol beverage in front of him, that was his, not his dad's that he was tasting. At first I kind of played it off as if I maybe he was truly older than I thought.

Nope...he was 16. And then I find out that he had ordered a drink because his father (the friend) had encouraged him to order it. The waitress misread the driver's license, thinking it said 1981 instead of 1991. So she brings the drink to the table, and the father does not correct her.

I'm laughing about it uncomfortably even though I don't approve, because while I don't have a problem with kids drinking at an earlier age in a supervised manner, like it or not it is illegal and putting the waitress's job in jeopardy. I figure he's going to go the whole meal without ever spilling the beans to her.

Nope. He pulls her over with a toothy grin at the end of the meal, and asks her to look at the date on the license. Now that the meal is over and things are slowing down, she takes another look at it, and gets quiet, obviously getting upset but holding it back. She retreats in silence to the kitchen and the dude (and many of the people there, to my shock), were laughing about it.

When it was suggested that she might be very upset, the friend was like "fuck that, it was her fault, she should have read the license correctly". Uh, yes, that IS true, but one reason stings often work so well is that some waiters/bartenders are momentarily confused when someone brazenly hands them an ID that shows they are not of age because it doesn't typically happen.

So yes, she certainly should have shown better care, but it was a mistake, and he contributed to it. It happened because HE caused it, and didn't have the sense to tell her before she brought the drink that he was "just kidding". And if anybody had found out about it, her job would have been immediately terminated, she would have been fined at least $500, and prevented from working in a restaurant that serves liquor for one year. And, probably taken out of the restaurant in cuffs, which is a humiliating experience.

I heard the next day that the waitress spent an hour or so in the back crying after the ordeal. I really couldn't fathom how a father figure would teach his child that this was acceptable behavior.

darwinism tends to take care of people like this

your friend is a tool

And, probably taken out of the restaurant in cuffs,

This is really what happens???

I harfed last night hanging out with some new buddz... didn't drink that much, but I didn't eat a meal before hand. The stomach does not have fun digesting pure alcohol on its own. Embarrassing.

This is really what happens???

I haven't witnessed it firsthand, but it happened twice in stings at a restaurant I worked at and in both occasions, I was told the waiter/bartender was escorted out in cuffs.

I don't think it was anything beyond that in terms of custody, but I really detest stings.

darwinism tends to take care of people like this

― matthew barney frank (get bent), Sunday, September 21, 2008 4:32 PM (19 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yes, thankfully our species is almost entirely asshole-free now!!

1) the initial underage drinking stunt was dubious at best; people try to pull crazy stuff all the time, but at least they try to keep it on the downlow. the part where he brought it to light and totally distanced himself from the consequences to others is kinda sociopathic or something.

2) judgments about his moral fibre aside, he's likely to drag you into these situations again where you'll feel complicit if you don't act but he'll react hostilely if you try to stop him.

you: *voices objection to questionable act*
him: stop being a wussy, nothing bad's gonna happen.
*bad thing happens*
you: *reminder of original objection to questionable act*
him: stop being a wussy, you could have stopped me if you wanted.

america is fkn retarded, over here you can serve alcoholic beverages to a child aged between about 13 to 18 in a RESTAURANT (not a bar) and nobody will bat an eyelid. that woman should be rightfully ashamed, serving a single alcoholic beverage to a 16 year-old under adult supervision with a meal. helping him onto what will doubtless be a long and rocky road to destitution. meanwhile you're teaching 'em creationism. way to not fuck up your precious children forever.

if this had happened in a bar i'd have some sympathy, but seriously, you have some fucked priorities

http://www.animationarchive.org/pics/vip01.jpg

Being a douche blows up in a person's face eventually - you don't want to be around when it happens. Particularly as it can affect people who are perceived to be friends of the douche. Example: you're with the douche when he gets banned from a bar for obnoxious behaviour, you're banned as well, even if you did nothing.

for the record, I do agree that I should have said something and am mad at myself for letting it go.

america is fkn retarded, over here you can serve alcoholic beverages to a child aged between about 13 to 18 in a RESTAURANT (not a bar) and nobody will bat an eyelid. that woman should be rightfully ashamed, serving a single alcoholic beverage to a 16 year-old under adult supervision with a meal. helping him onto what will doubtless be a long and rocky road to destitution. meanwhile you're teaching 'em creationism. way to not fuck up your precious children forever.

if this had happened in a bar i'd have some sympathy, but seriously, you have some fucked priorities

That isn't the point. I said earlier in the thread that I don't see an issue with a child having an alcholic beverage at the age 16 while supervised by an adult. but my friend did something that humiliated and threatened the job of a restaurant employee.

My point wasn't aimed at you, it was an aside concerning the stupidity of the situation. But, given the circumstances, it was a dickish thing to do. That said, how on earth would the authorities have discovered the "crime"? Spot-checks in restaurants? CCTV? If so, you all voted for the wrong fuckers.

I mean, would a sting be callous enough to eat out at a restaurant with his family and inform on the poor girl?

Actually, someone at uni with me worked as a bar/off-license sting. He's a slimy cunt, btw.

My final point on the matter is that in revealing the error, your friend also revealed it WASN'T a sting, and therefore surely wasn't threatening her job in any way? I mean obviously he's a dick, because it COULD have been a sting, and it makes her bluntly aware she's fucked up, but I'm guessing there was nothing in his demeanour that said "...and now I'm off to the feds".

Yea but I mean the idea that what she did was an offense that could result in such penalties probably caused her panic. I mean, she didn't know my friend or what his intentions were. Of course the chances of her actually getting in trouble weren't real good, but it was also humiliating.

Anyway...I was hoping to actually hear stories from YOU ALL about your friends too, but I guess I have schmuckier friends :)

The restaurant I worked at decided not to renew their liquor license, just their wine/beer one. A woman demanded something that was still in stock, and then reported it.

Like she was really mean about how it was disgraceful, "regular customer", etc. And then told on the waitress. Luckily we don't arrest. I'm pretty sure the restaurant wasn't even fined.

Shitty thing to do though. Your friend sounds like an asshole.

You talk about him on the internet behind his back, what kind of friend does that make you? :-)

So, what individual events have your friends performed that for a moment made you think they were not worthy to be friend material anymore?

Voting for this:

http://www.sportcartoons.co.uk/wallpaper/johnhoward.jpg

friend of mine felt a girl up while she was asleep. we don't see him anymore, his "i was drunk" excuse didn't really fly.

for the record, I do agree that I should have said something and am mad at myself for letting it go.

you couldn't have stopped what happened; you weren't even there when the drink was ordered and served. if you had said anything to the waitress about it before your friend did she she would have felt badly just the same, so hoping it would blow over up was probably the best thing for her in that case.

anyway, he seems to be fully aware of the trouble he was causing and enjoyed it, so anything you'd have to say to him afterwards would just reinforce his sense of whatever it is people like him feel when they do shit like that. like snoball sez, the best thing for you is to just stay outside of his sphere of crapitude as much as possible.

Unexpected bitter waaay-too-drunk messbombs too many times, relapsing into heroine addiction, punching his daughter in the lip.... These are different people. Sadly, I have lost some friends along the way.

A friend found someone's camera in a bar restroom and kept it. Didn't check with the bartender to ask if anyone had reported one missing, nothing. Justified it by saying that the camera was full of a couple shots each of multiple exotic vacations, so the owner was probably a jerk who was using it to show off all the awesome places they'd been. I got over it eventually by ignoring it, but definitely doesn't fit with my moral code.

^^^this is roughly 20000x more assholish than what BJO's friend did

Oh fuck off Jagger, just because you think it's an unjust law in the US, opening up the waitress to a possible arrest and the restaurant to a large fine and revocation of their liquor license is still a big deal. And yes, the way that shit is enforced often IS with sting-type shit, or with random spot checks so the waitress had reason to be worried.

Wow, for something that obviously didn't happen you're not half getting yourselves in a tizzy about this.

yeah well but what BJO's friend did was NOT to rat on her, it was to be a dick ("haha look you could have gotten yrself a criminal record") but in a perverse way he made sure she'd never get caught out again

whereas your friend fucking stole someone's presumably expensive camera with potentially irreplaceable shots of a holiday (probably uploaded but still)

there is no comparison

my friend just put up an away msg quoting dave matthews band

I overreacted. But still, I think the point here is to air things out, not to compare random shit that people that are presumably still friends have done. We obviously know these are jerk acts, I don't need someone saying "Wow, your friend is a million times worse than that other guy!" because there's not much to be gained, there.

And you just made the comparison, twice, in a "holier than thou" way.

okok sorry but this is a thread that does not so much invite criticism as imply it within the very woven textile of its being

Louis I think there are two points you're missing here:

- the father sat around kinda encouraging someone to make a significant mistake and then later was all like "hey by the way HAHAH you totally fucked up," which is just weird and jerky no matter what the circumstances

- yeah sure she probably wasn't about to get arrested, but the point that was being made there was that it really was a significant mistake, with potentially significant consequences -- i.e., not just some mundane who-cares stuff, but something the waitress had good reasons for taking seriously and being upset by

(P.S. In terms of consequences what was surely more likely than legal involvement was a manager/owner noticing this stuff and the waitress getting chewed out or fired or whatever, though I repeat that the likelihood of this is not the point, the point is that it's mean to be like "ooo look at this person about to make a big mistake HAHAHA hey look you fucked up good LOL" -- this is just kinda crappy, see?)

I suppose so. It was dickish, sure, and his revelry in the waitress' dismay was ill-judged. But I think making off with someone else's camera is a helluva lot worse. The first is at least done nakedly and brazenly. The second is creepy, secretive and whichever way you look at it unconscionable.

Anyway, much as I don't hold grudges, and seem to strike lucky with friends, I always feel a pang of resentment whenever a friend of mine enters a law conversion course or somesuch.

I think part of the problem here is that Louis (and I) don't exist in a world where losing your job has serious consequences.

^^ Is this intended as an example of a friendship-ender?

Wow, for something that obviously didn't happen you're not half getting yourselves in a tizzy about this.

― Matt DC, Sunday, September 21, 2008 3:59 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

xp, haha bit late for that, I fear.

yes, the original post reads like a chain email.

Look, Blow Job Overface is just reallypretty good at making up stories. Doesn't mean I buy a one of 'em.

I lost my job last week, funnily enough. The consequences are not yet serious. They could become so.

(ach, you win.)

When Good Threads Go Bad

Louis do you often feel like you have to balance the scales the other way after your initial bad run on here by being such an aggressively obnoxious boy sometimes? It doesn't suit you.

(sorry I didnt mean to sound like a schoolmarm, I just dont get the aggression).

job-loss projection/ryder cup antagonism/absentee girlfriend/the issue of how dickish things are appeals to the most dogmatic and abrupt of masculine judgements, for we are all defensive fuckers whose first act is to imagine ourselves as the wrongdoers

Fair enough.

the issue of how dickish things are appeals to the most dogmatic and abrupt of masculine judgements, for we are all defensive fuckers whose first act is to imagine ourselves as the wrongdoers

Uh, speak for yourself on that one.

"seemingly intense Italian church-attending catholic. Turned out to be prostitute-frequenting misogynist"

hardly mutually exclusive amirite

i have a really solid friend who is cheating on his (awesome) wife. i'm sure i don't know the full details, but nevertheless ;_;

wilter, i had heard there was a misogynist living somewhere in qld, that must have been him.

hey - i got one - a friend...

seriously, if this board has even a half helping of honesty, we can flip this on its back and talk about all the times we've been dicks to friends. Either that, or we just accept this thread as a means to an end: cherry picking examples of cowardly behavior that we proudly *ban* from our homes, or threads for that matter...

Yes, because I'd have a lot to gain by spending hours to make up a story like this. Fucking moron. Please do me a favor and eat a casserole with lots of broken glass in it.

Dude, I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here. Either you have good stories, or embarrassingly pathetic taste in friends.

hey read the thread title paulhw

lol estela.

if this board has even a half helping of honesty, we can flip this on its back and talk about all the times we've been dicks to friends.

^^true though

Jaymc, I witnessed a conversation related to that one that was awkwardly funny. A few people I worked with were talking about John Edwards' affair and remarking that his conduct was pretty stupid, and one guy said "It's not hard to understand, guys get stressed and they hook up." Two others, one of whom was older and married, immediately yelled "No they don't!" The first was embarrassed, and I found this really funny but it was too awkward to laugh.

And yeah, we have all been assholes as well, but "shameful and humiliating stuff you've done that momentarily made your friends question your worth" is just...not a thread that's as fun or easy to contribute to.

Dude, I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here. Either you have good stories, or embarrassingly pathetic taste in friends.

Or, ever consider that I don't tell the stories about the ones that don't act out because threads titled "STUFF YOUR FRIENDS HAVE DONE THAT ARE TOTALLY MUNDANE THAT MADE NO DIFFERENCE WHATSOEVER IN YOUR FRIEND STATUS ONGOING" are pretty boring, no?

shameful and humiliating stuff you've done that momentarily made your friends question your worth

I've done my share but thank god my best bud is forgiving. Not stuff I've done to/about her but...oh whatever.

I have stopped being friends with this person now, but this poem:

fascinating, existential sort of misanthrope
who hates words like 'misanthrope'
and for good reason

pastures of green bullshit fuel hunger strikes
and dung pits
of socio-politics dipshits

surviving ain't pretty

and you know what's a pity?
titties. and titty bars. and hybrid cars.
and the steel industry

in comes me

talking with you is factual fascism
you are the Stalin of ballin'
I'm the Stalin of, well, not being Stalin

income tree

special effects messages after these vestiges
of the last days, the end times, and all things morbid
chicks dig those who thrive on petrol and 10-gauge shot

now what have I forgot?

c-rations, we call 'em 'rats for short
just remember not to eat the chocolate
guaranteed shits

right between the frown machine

elections of predilections
YOU SHOULD NEVER PAY TO SEE BOOBS
That said, props to the n00bs

THE DECEIVER'S FINERY

I JUST WANT MY FAIR SHARE
COCAINE, GUNS AND GIRLS' UNDERWEAR
Cock-mold of Fred Astaire

In my neighborhood the wood is good
Crazy name
Last wishes

Dirty bitches

Why bring hate to the game?
Driving a Buick, dodging a ram

All up in my Kool-Aid
And don't even know the flava

Tengo pistola, viejito
I'm not hard to find
Just follow the weed smoke

see also this thread:

So, apparently my friend has become some kind of idiotic pro-lifer overnight.

i had a friend who admitted to being a republican.

you don't say

1. had two friends in middle school/hs who, in retrospect were borderline sociopaths. (they had a knack for consistently indulging in behavior that was bullying and otherwise unconscionable to the point where it went beyond conventional adolescent anti-social pranks...)
2. had friend in hs who was a bonafide kleptomaniac. yeah, i knew how to pick 'em. anyhow, this guy is like a millionaire or close to it these days.
2. let a nomadic and wayward friend stay in my dorm room while i was spending most nights at a girlfriend's place. he ate consumed some mushrooms i had without first asking, and also came home ridiculously drunk one night, puked in the room, and left it there for my roommate to clean up
3. during college years a friend asked my girlfriend, whom he barely knew at the time, to go on a several-days road trip with him, and neglected to invite me. after some "WTF?!" from my gf, he eventually sheepishly ended up inviting me along for the ride.
4. during my more paranoid moments, i find myself half-suspecting that an old friend (and his gf at the time) pawned off some stereo equipment of mine, and then tried to frame the event as being a "break-in"...
5. any number of friends over the years have struck me as being downright flaky when it has come to making plans and then disappearing, not to mention failing to respond to emails, etc.

At the same time, I could bring up instances in which every single one of these people have gone to bat for me on occasions where it still baffles me as to why they would have. And, from the other side, I'm sure that I have flaked out, offended, alienated, or otherwise given reason for any of these people to never want to be associated with me again ever...I guess I'm thankful that some people pick up on shades of gray.

kinda beautiful, dell

dell kinda understands life imo

I knew a guy who faked leukemia once. Weird thing was he did it to everyone, whether he was going to give them his sad tale of poverty vs expensive treatment or not. Faked a seizure in the shop I worked in once.

Someone my wife knew faked leukemia once - at least the diagnosis and the trips to the doctor. Eventually you have to fake the other symptoms or people start to figure it out.

Probably the only people I stopped being friends with were both kind of crazy. One faked going to college for years, never was in the directory of students, when email started being big he never could quite figure out what his login would be, and people who should have been in his classes and major had never run into him. But he'd go to campus and hang out every day with books and stuff. He and this other guy would go out and steal license plates all the time and just got really weird and secretive. Then when people started to ask him about what he actually did, he stopped talking to people, quit his job, and joined the Navy without telling anyone. He came up to me and a friend once two years later like nothing happened, we started asking him questions, and he just turned around and walked away. That's the last time I ever saw him.

The other dude just was strange, and at 20 years old legally changed his name to exactly the same as his dad's, like he declared himself a Junior. It's really hard to start calling someone something different after 10 years or so. I still run into his dad at times and he won't refer to him by name - it's always "your childhood friend" or "my son" or some other weird abstract.

Apparently at least one of my 170k/yr coworkers is convinced he is middle class and that most ppl in DC make more money than he does.

What, can he only see other white men? What an interesting condition.

You could try referring him to the military officer and GS pay scales.

It wouldn't help! I mean the ability of people to be completely immune to undisputed facts just completely astounds me on a fairly regular basis.

don't you work at like medical science building #108

This dude is IT, not a real doctor.

Although cardiologists be whining about being underpaid plenty.

also I assume this is in re: "joe the plumber" "issue" so maybe it goes on a new thread about numbskull coworkers who identify with joe the plumber

All I know is when O tells me that the middle class is hurting, is really feeling the heat, I do not assume he is talking to me. Nor 170k guy. Who thinks having two car payments makes him middle class.

"The fact is i have overlooked what a negative person you are for a long time..and now u can make our minds up simultaneously..your constant cheating on your wife,your drug use,your party boy pussy sniffing persona.hitting on anything that moves..you tried to make out w ****** the first night i brought her to your house for cryin out loud...your disinterest in being a father and a husband..your a pretty sad role model for me to live up to..i hope u cultivate a new ***** **** or whatever with your wifes store and make some new fancy friends..just dont insert yourself into my life or use bunnybrains as a link to anything you do other than a resume entry..

good lukk

xxdan

guy who grew up in neighborhood where the steets are named after pro golfers saying re: a homeless guy asking for change "i find it endlessly amusing that some people will walk right up to another person and ask them for their money!! like it never stops amusing me"

get amused by this, douchenozzle

After privately confiding to a friend that a girl I had a crush on was a disappointment, and that upon meeting her I thought she wasn't too bright, he told the man who arranged our acquaintance that "he thinks the girl you introduced him to is a moron. He said she was stupid." Thankfully he shouted that as the man was walking away and I don't think he understood him. I felt like knocking him to the floor and asking what the hell is wrong with him.

A friend faked an illness to me too. Stupid, because she didn't fake it to any of our other, fairly close, circle of friends, so I found out pretty much right away. I don't understand compulsive lying, it seems like so much work.

what are you, lazy

she probably lied to 'one up' you. I hate liars so much

Yeah, that's right. She lied to "one up" you because you are a HORRIBLE COMPULSIVE LIAR YRSELF. BTW Lorax = worst sock ever.

liars are retarded idiots, can we agree

non

HOW QUICKLY WE FORGET

oh thats true, redacted

well there's a difference between "If you let me borrow $50I promise I'll pay you back" and "The other day I saw Bigfoot and Undead Tiny Tim playing a game of frisbee golf on the beach!"

the latter is acceptable

voice of reason ^

This guy walks into a record store with a big stack of vinyl to sell. Doesn't know how much any of it is worth, just wants to unload it. So my friend who's working the counter starts flipping through it and finds a copy of the Beatles' Yesterday and Today. He takes a closer look and realizes it's the butcher cover version (with paste-over). My friend gives the guy some money, including $5 for the Beatles record. He later gleefully recounts this story, while I try to hide my look of contempt. Sure, it's nice that an indie store made some money (which my friend admitted he considered keeping for himself), but still, it was a douchey move.

im not a sock

or a liar dickrypt

Anaphoric backreference failure.

much more likely

met this friend of a friend online who was into metal and was like "oh ok cool, finally someone I can go to metal shows with", since my friends are all into showtunes and shit. seems like a decent, intelligent human being, has a job as a math tutor, from a few of his social media posts seemed to be posting in support of LGBT folks.

hang out at a show w/ dude recently, and I mention I saw Repulsion in 2013, and he starts going on and on about how it's so fucked up that they have a "tranny in the band" and continues on complaining about w/ this other caveman next to him, who is ironically talking about how morally wrong this is moments after giving a laundry list of scumfucky shit he's done. then the topic somehow gets onto race and the new friend says "well y'know, there's n*****s, and then there's N*****S!".

nope, no thanks, would rather go to these shows alone again, thank you