Drinking makes you smarter

so this morning I'm laying in bed with a hangover. I make a turbin out of my bed sheets to apply pressure to my head and make it feel better. it kinda worked. anyways, I came up with the idea that drinking makes you smarter. the reason my head hurts so much is because my brain is expanding from all the things that I learn drunk. when my brain expands there is pain caused by pressing against my skull. some of the things that I learn when I drink include maximun inhibition... i'm sure theres a lot of thinking processes I have to reverse learn to be so inhibited. for example, I wouldnt normally talk to a guy out of no where and apologize for having thoughts about his sister?/girlfriend? NO, I had to LEARN to be less inhibited.

Then come morning, when I'm lying in bed, I learn AGAIN. I learn that I shouldn't have said some things last night. All this thinking/mind expansion comes at a price. And that price is a hangover and bar tab. I told my bartender that I already paid and then showed her a receipt, which was from a different place, hooters apparently... boy if I didn't even know if I had paid yet, I must have been really working out my inhibition muscles. drinking makes you smarter.

Haha, nice logic.

Probably the most important thing anybody can ever learn (well maybe not as important as learning how to read and write...) is a quote from Kevin Ayers: "If you don't carry anything, it won't weigh you down". Expert mentality right there.

Which is also good reason to cut back on my drinking

Au contraire, drinking is a great way to end up not carrying anything. Couple of extra stone, maybe.

Quid Pro Quo, I'm trying to sound smart

We already have a Shredded Moose thread if you have to paste that guy's blog posts here, dude

man I wish I came up with that name, shredded moose aye?

I'm saddened that I never got to post with the ilxor legends... nude spock... I heard about that guy

There's a bit on this in Nicholson Baker's The Mezzanine. I think the theory there is that it's not the total number of brain cells that's important, it's the connections between them. So drinking (and killing off some cells) only frees up more space for connections between the remaining cells.

^^the sad thing is I knew what that clip was without even watching it

I'm saddened that I never got to post with the ilxor legends... nude spock... I heard about that guy

― CaptainLorax

It is approaching Saturday night where I live. Let the smartening commence!

getting smarter RIGHT THIS SECOND

I'm the smartest guy on earth