Saying goodbye to your pet

I just said goodbye to my doggie of nearly 15 years old. She had been peeing a lot in the house but yesterday she was constantly urinating in the house. I already knew what was in store: the vet said it was best to let her die instead of letting her drag on with ruined kidneys. I came back from an errand and my husband was already stroking her while she was going to sleep. I felt her last heart beats.

Fuck, I'm crying. :-(

But I realize she had a good life. She survived her companion for five years. Not bad. But still... tears are running down my cheeks.

Tell me how you said goodbye?

My husband really felt bad when the vet stuffed her in the bag. I was sort of okay with it. I knew it would happen. She just looked like she was sleeping. I still like to imagine she's asleep and will be alright. BUt then I try to think she's with Basiel now.

Again, FUCK. I feel guilty in so many ways.

i'm very sorry, nathalie.

Me too. Fucking crying over this at a computer screen. It's the little things that bring tears to my eyes: seeing her bowl, her leash, her blanket. Feeling crap. Off to cry some more. :-( I went to buy her some red meat, which I did on a daily basis. Was in denial, thinking/hoping it was urine infection but we knew better.

Shit.

Trying to be cool with it, imagining she's playing and cuddling with her "companion" Basiel who died five years ago. I said this already. See, I'm getting senile as well.

I recently had to say goodbye to my beloved 16 year old cocker spaniel. Although he had been deteriorating for a while (peeing inside from time to time and generally being senile), he had a growing tumor on his back and just seemed very uncomfortable. We decided that it was the right thing to do even though making that decision sent me into tears every 5 minutes.

On the day we did it, we had to take him to the vet's office and I was crying all the way in -- we prepaid so we could just go in and out and not sign anything -- and then we just went into the room and sat on the floor with him. I was lying down on the floor of a veterinarian's office, talking to my muffin, crying, generally being inconsolable and weepy. In public. This is a dog I adopted when I was 23, so he had been with me for ten years and a lot of pretty significant changes in my life. Saying goodbye to him was like truly becoming an adult, like this is phase III or something. When they gave him the injection, I touched him and cried and then I hugged the vet and my husband and then we walked outside and cried while walking around the block.

Two months later, I don't reach for his bowl anymore, but I miss him every day. I haven't managed to look at old pictures yet.
About a month after he died, the vet sent us this little clay pawprint with his name on the back. It's proudly displayed.

I'm really, truly sorry to hear about your dog, Nathalie. It'll get better, but right now I know how much it sucks.

Coming to the decision that it was his time to go was probably the hardest part. Knowing that he wasn't ever going to get any better, any younger, or live forever. That was tough.

I've been through it before, with Basiel, but damn it, now I was there feeling her last heart beat. We mad the decision extremely quickly but we knew it was coming anyway: she had been deteriorating slowly but surely.

My husband had a hard time when the vet stuffed her in the bag. I wanted to do it myself, like she was just sleeping or whatever, but the vet said no he could do it. Don't think he realized I was in denial or whatever. Ah well...

i'm sorry about your dog nath :(

So sorry to hear the news, Nath. She was a great dog, I remember from my visit.

Oh man, I didn't see that part; I asked the vet to carry him out and spare us the rest.

I'm so sorry honey.

I lost my two sweet cats within two years of each other. Bengal,15 and Q-Tip 13. We had to put Q-Tip down, he had cancer that had finally reached the point where he could not eat. Making that decision that it was time was the hardest but I was glad I could stand there, talking softly to him as he went. I asked him to say hi to Bengal for me.

I still miss him (I am crying now) but he did have a good, long life and was well-loved, just like your puppy.

ILx was actually a big help while Q-Tip was sick and dying. I am always grateful to this sometimes horrid little board for that. Keep pictures of her near. Q-Tip is on my desk now looking out his favorite window.

Big hugs to you. I'm very sorry.

Thanks everyone.

Yes, it's very clinical: putting her in a special designed bag. It was so weird, her limp cadaver being dropped in it. I was in denial, thinking she was sleeping. And she is, only never waking up.

Crap. But I must realize I've had a great happy sweet doggie for nearly 15 years. What more could I have wished for? We were hoping she would die in her sleep peacefully. Without our help. But that was not to be.

Ned! Yes! I remember. :-)

I am so sorry Nath. Losing a pet is so hard--but only on you and the others who loved her. Doggie is in a better place now, no suffering!

I'm so, so sorry. The last pet I had who died, I never had a chance to say goodbye - he died suddenly while under anesthesia for a dental cleaning. The last thing I said to him was that I'd pick him up that afternoon. That was 7 years ago now and it still makes me cry thinking about it. :(

We've got a 17-year-old cat now who's got hyperthyroid, and she's just so quiet and listless all the time now from the medication, plus she's got the onset of kidney disease. I know what's going to come sooner or later, and it makes me sick thinking about it. I want to have every quality moment I can with her while she's still here.

Sorry Nathalie :-(

But thanks to you she was loved and had a happy life for 15 years! You rule!

poor dog, poor Nathalie. I remember how sad I was when my parents had our dog put to sleep.

Condolences, Nath.

That just sucks Nath, I'm sorry :(

Awww Nath, I'm sorry to hear this.

the house is so empty. I Left the door open like usual. Then realised she is not here. Damn it. I miss hearing her steps.

that is so sad, sorry to hear.

2 years ago, put my 18yr old cat to sleep, had him since I was 9. He'd been progressively deteriorating, and one day he just couldn't move more than lifting his head up. I gave him some melted ice cream, which he lapped up as vigorously as he could, given his condition. Took him to the vet with him in a cardboard box. I remember sitting in the waiting room and just starting to blubber when I thought about him prancing around years back, and here he is now, a pitiful bag of bones in a cardboard box on my lap. Shit man 2 years later and I can't finish this post cause I'll start bawling here at work.

i'm really sorry sweetie. i'm going to need some help when my kitty isn't here anymore.

You have my heartfelt sympathies

i'm so sorry:-(

Sorry to hear this Nathalie :(
Oh man, I’m so glad i don't have a pet right now, i couldn't handle any of this. I’ve had lots of pets in the past and I’ll never forget any of them. i can barely watch any pet rescue programme without getting a lump in my throat these days, i'm such a softy when it comes to animals. My sisters dog reggie is on his way out, but he's probably had as close to a perfect life as you can get, i hope i'm not around for that :(
Reggie
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3009/2577573125_bdba2f06a3_m.jpg

Nath, this is terrible news. I'm so sorry that you are upset.

Oh, nath, that's heartbreaking. You have my sympathy and imaginary hugs. She sounds like a very sweet and wonderful dog.

I'm really sorry to hear that.
These kinds of stories always gets to me, I get choked up just by reading through this.

One of the best things about my parents selling their last house was the fact that I can go to visit them without waiting for my labrador to bounce through the door as soon as I open it - that back door without Sandy climbing all over me as soon as I opened it just never quite seemed right. Anyone who doesn't understand the grief of losing a pet has a heart of solid stone, or has never had a pet.

I was away from home when my parents had him put down, and I never realised how bad it felt until I went back to visit them later that week and he wasn't there. A big part of my family - gone.

Don't feel bad about feeling bad.

our gray cat pepper had some kind of serious neurological attack in may. we were working around the house, noticed she was acting strange, realized that her back legs weren't working. she couldn't stand up, would just flop over, seemed distressed. so we took her to the emergency vet. they said they would have to run extensive tests to find out what exactly was the problem (stroke, tumor, nerve condition, etc). we opted out of paying $3,000 to run the tests because the best result was that they would find out that it was a tumor that we couldn't afford to have operated on anyways, and serious medical intervention like that seemed cruel for a 14-year-old cat. we seriously considered having her put down but ultimately decided to bring her home and just try to make her comfortable.

this ended up being a good decision because she gradually recovered over a day or two. she was able to walk again, seemed mostly back to normal, though maybe a little slower/wobblier. in july, she had another attack though it was much milder - she could walk the whole time. then a few days ago we noticed that one of her pupils was very dilated while the other one was normal, an indication of a stroke or some other kind of neurological attack. the past couple of days she has seemed confused and disoriented (though not distressed/in pain). sometimes it seems like she's trying to walk somewhere but just ends up walking in circles, but other times she doesn't seem to have problems walking directly somewhere. when i poured out her food last night, my wife said she seemed to react like she knew she was supposed to go somewhere but couldn't figure out what exactly to do. so something is wrong.

i feel pretty bad about it because a) i don't know what to do to help. she recovered before so i hope she'll bounce back again but obviously overall these are not good signs long-term. and b) i've never had a pet die - we had cats growing up but would always end up moving and leaving them with another family

i am not very good at thinking about sad things.

I'm so sorry, n/a. It is so hard to see a pet decline. You'll know the right time to let her go--a feeling in the gut.

thanks

oh man, this is rough. something very similar happened when my last dog got super old. we had to make a very difficult decision once he started to seem lost and just stared into space and had accidents all the time. there was a lot of crying, but we sent him sailing on the crystal ship with love and that's really all a person can do. that and cry a lot.

i'm sorry.

just try to make her comfortable

This is really all you can do tbh. After the scare our dog had over the summer I've been forced to think about this sort of thing a lot more, and there just isn't anything else.

Sorry to hear this, too.

This exact thing happened to the family cat late-ish in her life. Walking in circles/walking sideways for a day or two, then a recovery but diminished balance/bearings. I know every cat is different, but she lived another five (mostly normal) years after that and died aged 22.

Same thing happened with my 19-year-old, perfectly healthy and fit, then this. They said it was her kidneys. Took her to emergency vet and they said "it will cost $1200 USD to put her to sleep. Shocked at the price and also the lack of patience with a grieving cat owner, I told them I needed to make some phone calls. Also I asked if I could just keep her until she dies on her own. All they talked about was getting the euthanasia over with, then they implied that I just don't want to pay an outrageous amount to put my cat down because I'm too poor.

Called my Dad and he said it was $400 out in the burbs. Took her out there where the NICE, compassionate vet said we could spend a few days more with her before the "good-bye". They let everyone into the exam room to say good-bye to her. Dad was crying.

In short, find a vet who will seek to maximize the amount of time you have left with kitty. Some recover, but it's usually only temporary. But reward those vets who respect that time you want with your kitty.

Oh dear god, $1200 for euthanasia! That is nuts! I think I paid about $325, and that included cremation and return of her remains in a pretty little box (the pet remains place also made a small donation in kitty's name to a local no-kill shelter). The vets' office was so compassionate and wonderful; I was there late at night on New Years Day and was given as much time as I wanted with her before, during, and after.

A few days later I got a sympathy card signed by all of the vets who had cared for my kitty for over a decade. It was a very caring experience for which I am quite grateful.

she seems to be doing better. she's stopped doing the circle walking and is getting around more easily.

Oh dear god, $1200 for euthanasia! That is nuts! I think I paid about $325, and that included cremation and return of her remains in a pretty little box (the pet remains place also made a small donation in kitty's name to a local no-kill shelter). The vets' office was so compassionate and wonderful; I was there late at night on New Years Day and was given as much time as I wanted with her before, during, and after.

A few days later I got a sympathy card signed by all of the vets who had cared for my kitty for over a decade. It was a very caring experience for which I am quite grateful.

Yeah, we got the same when we had to have two of our cats euthanized the same day. The total bill was something like $500 including cremation, remains, and cards with their pawprints and a lock of hair. And we got a lovely flower arrangement and sympathy card from all the staff.

Vets who just want to stick a needle in your pet and not give you a few days to say goodbye are disgusting fucking savages.

Glad to hear it, n/a!

surely there are ways to painlessly euthanise a pet yourself rather than forking out $$$ to watch someone else do it? in that position I'd definitely do my research and end my pet's suffering humanely

obviously <3 and :'( to those going through this process, must be fucking tough

n/a, glad to hear your cat's doing better. when i was a kid one of my cats had a similar, terrifying episode (and he was only a year or two old at the time), but recovered after a few days and now is 100% normal other than walking a little crooked sometimes.

strange that this thread was revived today because i just received an email from my mom this morning letting me know that our dog (who's 15 now) has been deteriorating again and this might be it this time. she said she had to email rather than call because she couldn't stop crying, and of course now here i am crying uncontrollably too. niko's been an amazing dog -- we got her when i was 9 -- but she's been on a relapsing-remitting course for a few years now, and hasn't been her old self, of course. my stepfather is best friends with a vet, who takes care of the dogs for us when they're out of town, and he'll evaluate her while they're out of town this week, but if there's nothing he can do we're going to do what's best for her and euthanize her this weekend. this is going to be so, so hard, but she's lived a full life and deserves to die with some dignity rather than confused and in pain.

given that the vet is a close family friend, he's said he'll come over to my mom's place to do it, and we'll be able to be with her, which is great. this 5 hour drive home this weekend is going to be a nightmare :(

Ugh, sorry to hear it.

ugh, sorry kev, all

I'll know more tonight when I get home from work, but it sounds like our wonderful Alfred might not make it much longer. We took him in a few months ago and they found signs of kidney disease, but they seemed pretty optimistic that it was found early enough that we could stave off the serious effects for a long time and he could love a pretty good life for quite a bit longer. Unfortunately he's gone really downhill in the last week or so and during our visit to the vet Monday, we found out it might be a matter of weeks at this point. But he hasn't eaten a thing since we got back on Monday morning, even after multiple tries with all sorts of tempting food, and just sits in one corner cushion in the basement (where he hardly ever goes, usually much happier to be on our laps). Anyway, after further consultation with our vet (who is also a family friend, thank god, because her patience with our silly questions during all of this has been tremendous) this afternoon, it sounds like we may be just prolonging his suffering at this point. So, yeah, I'm much more sad about this than I expected to be.

He was already 8 when we adopted him in 2005, so we knew his time with us would have been shorter than if we'd have gotten a kitten, but we fell so damn hard for him immediately that we knew he was a perfect fit. And he was, just a deeply lovable cat. And to try to figure out how we explain all this to a 2 year-old on top of everything else...

i'm so sorry, jon.

;_;

i'm sorry jvc. losing a pet is the worst.

It is sad beyond words. I'm very sorry.

thanks. we actually came home to a bit of bounce back. his appetite was tremendous night and he actually crawled up in our laps for awhile. kind of at wait and see at this point.

oh jeez, sorry man

I'm so sorry. Sample had the same issue, and it is so tough to see a beloved friend suffering. Much love to you, the family, and Alfred.

so Alfred still seems to be feeling pretty good. he still has a good appetite and was feeling a little playful tonight. but giving him fluid from the iv pretty quickly brought back that it's still likely temporary.

I'm glad you still have him right now, and glad he has you and your wife and your friend/vet to look out for his very best interests and love him all the way. at least he gets to have you for all of the rest of his life, that is a significant and very good thing.