Jeff Stelling one-liners poll

I'm sure there are some about A Trialist, who always seem to score for multiple Scottish teams.

Stephenson cos it's history man

On David Byrne becoming caretaker manager of Swindon Town: "It's a once in a lifetime opportunity for him"

10/10

all awesome but voted TNS

No 'The Good Doctor has scored. Granny May will be pleased'.

Though he hasn't had the opportunity to use that much recently.

With a man jabbering in one ear, a group of unruly ex-pros jabbering at the other, and a vidiprinter on speed, your job can't be easy.
It's not an easy job, but everything's relative isn't it. I mean, my dad worked down the steelworks, and that's a damn sight harder. As with everything, preparation is the key. I spend so much time scouring papers and websites for information, and most of the stuff I come out with on a Saturday is painstakingly written out on a Thursday and Friday. There's so much background work involved, even though much of it never gets used.

Rumour has it you do most of your research at a service station...
(Laughs) I do indeed. I always go to Winchester Services, because I know I'll get a bit of peace and quiet away from the kids. They're quite young and don't yet understand that I need to prepare, so instead of having to build railway tracks with them, I just nip off to the service station for a few hours. It's only been open a couple of years. Lovely facilities, nice coffee, and there's never anyone there.

...

But does any one howler stand out above all others?
Yeah, that would be the one after Lee Bowyer joined West Ham when I said: "And Lee Bowyer returns to his old stomping ground at Charlton." It was completely unconscious.

whatta hero

omg his kids are hornby kids

= seal of approval

definitely among the 50 People who make Britain the utopian paradiso it is today

i'd adjust that to maybe 5 or 10. i know it's a cliche, but this guy really is the business

He probably is the greatest currently living Britain.

Like, I dunno, maybe Nigel Blackwell and William Regal push him close, but other than that it's a pretty dead field

Yeah like student cult figure lol irony shit aside, dude is an insanely good broadcaster

Nigel Blackwell's band play venues that charge an impossible 17 quid for entry, hence slightly behind Stelling

Nige doesn't take his salary from R Murdoch's blood money if we're gong to be like that about it

going

but only one of these things is of immediate concern to me

also for 3 weeks i pretty much did that too :-O

then i was sacked.

Not really a one-liner but a couple of seasons ago I remember him taking a couple of minutes to try and convince the rest of the SS studio team of Jethro Tull's greatness, it was pretty hilarious

Whither "James Brown has scored, and I feel good, do do do do do do do", now supplemented with dancing James Brown doll?

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

haha, James Brown scored on Saturday and Jeff had to admit he'd put the doll in mothballs. The whole studio joined in the dance though.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

The result was never really in doubt, was it?

They'll be dancing in the streets of "They'll be dancing in the streets of Total Network Solutions tonight" tonight

^^^wouldn't work as an excelsior but consider it honorary

i don't get half these jokes/refs but this guy seems pretty sound nonetheless - the john peel of football, is he?

And now he's become the host of countdown: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7675710.stm

IT'S ON

http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/blog/2009/jan/12/jeff-stelling-countdown-debut-live

^^^live powerblogging

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Jellymans-Thrown-Wobbly-Saturday-Afternoons/dp/0007281250/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1231774599&sr=1-2

^^^siked for this

That's not how you spell Jelleyman.

Darlington's equaliser has been scored by Guyain Ndumbu-Nsungu. Very much a case of local boy makes good.

Oh, how did we miss that one?

"You can use it (Countdown clock consolation prize) to count down the seconds until Plymouth Argyle get promoted! Fortunately it does come with a lifetime guarantee!" (cue polite smattering of laughter punctuated by one guy in the audience laughing FAR. TOO. LOUD.)

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/03/24/article-1260264-08D91A9E000005DC-920_468x335.jpg

7, two ways

Audiofuckage

fudgecake, almost

Hope it end up on justin.tv

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2010/jun/18/bkyb-sky-sports-news-freeview

It's usually on justin anyway, isn't it?