Homeless man earns £2,000 for finding Sir Paul McCartney's head

Homeless man earns £2,000 for finding Sir Paul McCartney's head

My fucking shitting mind is blown.

'Little terrifying faces' discovered on broccoli

Yikes!

And here's me going on about bacon rolls and coffees at Rdg Station, tuerns out I should have been looking in the BINS dammit.

Yeah, because I have nothing better to do with my time than stare at a packet of broccoli...

... with a magnifying glass

"It's just what I need and I hope my luck has changed for the better," Silva said.

He's homeless because of bad luck? that sucks a little.

Aw, that broccoli thing has reminded me of my (sadly thwarted) bit of subterfuge on my final day as a sub-editor at the f1nancial t1mes...

which was???

'Little terrifying faces' discovered on Financial Times?

on my last day, before sending the front and back pages of the mag i worked on to the printer, i cropped a jpg of my face, shrank it down as small as it would go (about a quarter of a millimetre), and used the resulting image to replace the dot above an i in the headline of one of the downpage back page stories...

and what, someone spotted it? or caught you in the act?

So I was right about the little terrifying face?

Sadly, on account of being a fuckwit and in a hurry, I saved the jpg on my desktop rather than on the server, and just before sending our system threw up an alert because you're not meant to do that. If I'd been sending the pages myself i'd have got away with it completely, but my boss happened to be the one who pressed the button, traced the jpg after much confusion (it was so tiny they couldn't even find it on the page!) and it didn't make it through. Her boss, the mag's editor, was there too, and was hugely unimpressed at what he saw as out-and-out vandalism of his precious organ, even though i'm the only person on earth who would ever have seen it without prompting and a magnifying glass. GUTTED.

xpost absolutely, tom!

charlie, you fucking heroic mentalist. that's awesome. they should have offered you a staff job on the spot. the only caveat being: dude, saving an image for output on your desktop? come on ;)

I KNOW!

so nearly my finest hour...

i had every intention of emailing all my former colleagues on the following monday and offering a prize to whoever found me in the issue freshly delivered to their desks.